For hours, I sat in the chair watching the machine fill my mother’s lungs with air, but my phone never rang and Nate never arrived The night shift nurse draped a blanket over me and I fell asleep. Though I was restless, my body tried to heal itself.
A sudden noise startled me awake. Scared, I looked over to my mother, but she was still sleeping quietly. The sun was peering through metal shades. A new nurse smiled at me.
“She’s fine,” she reassured me. Clearing my throat, I wiped the sleep from my face. “Your phone was buzzing.”
I ran my hand through my knotted hair and reached for it from a small table nearby. The backlit screen notified me I had one new text message.
Nate: I’m sorry, but I can’t go to Chicago. And I can’t be with you anymore.
Chapter 21
Brielle
Forty-eight hours.
Two thousand, eight hundred and twenty seconds.
Baby steps, I reminded myself. First priority was my mother. Then I would find a way to repair my broken heart.
It was late in the afternoon, and my mother’s blood pressure had dropped. I held firmly on to her hand, begging her to hold on tight.
I wasn’t sure I believed in God, but when those machines began to beep and the nurses breezed in, I began to pray.
“Please, God, save her. Please, Mom, stay with me. I’m not ready to lose you! I need your guidance, your love. You’re all I have, Mommy. Please, God, don’t do this to me!”
My prayers were answered and her blood pressure normalized. I exhaled a breath that was caught inside and dropped my head on the bed. I didn’t know how much more I could take.
A few hours after the low blood pressure incident, Dr. Christensen paid me a visit. She scanned the binder with my mother’s information and walked over to me.
“How is she doing?”
Dr. Christensen sighed. “Still no change. We will run another CT scan on her soon to check her brain activity. How are you doing?” She laid her hand on my shoulder.
I shook my head. “She’s all I have.”
“Brielle, maybe you should go home, take a shower, get some sleep. I’m on tonight, so I’ll call you if there’s any change.” She dug into her pocket and pulled out a business card. “My cell number is on there and also my pager. You can call any time.”
I ran my hands over my face. I was exhausted. My body ached and I couldn't remember the last time I showered. “I can’t leave her.”
“How about this.” She smiled at me. “I’ll have a resident take her to CT now and if her scans have improved, then you go home and at least try to sleep for a few hours.”
“Okay.”
A resident dressed in green scrubs wheeled my mother out of the room. I didn’t move from my seat. My eyes were glued to the specks of marbling in the floor tile. An hour later, the same resident wheeled my mother back. Dr. Christensen walked in behind him. She wore a small grin. I rose.
“The swelling has gone down tremendously. Tomorrow morning we'll wake her to determine if she suffered any brain damage, and then move her out of ICU and to the Neuro wing.”
I exhaled. A weight had been lifted off my chest.
“Go home, get some rest. Tomorrow is a big day and you’ll need it.”
Though it might have been inappropriate, I threw my arms around Dr. Christensen and hugged her. “Thank you. For everything.”
Sliding the key into my mother’s house, I felt a cold shiver. The lights were still on and the house phone was on the kitchen floor. My heart ached.
I should have answered her call.
The button on the voicemail blinked. Pressing the play button, I listened to the messages.
“Pam, it’s Olga. Is everything okay? Harry was worried when you didn’t come in to work today.”
“Great,” I huffed. Not only was my mother in the hospital, she would most likely lose her job. I hit the stop button on the machine and made my way to the shower.
The cascading water was scalding hot, and washed the past two days off my body. Screw it. Sleep was the first thing I’d worry about. My mother needed me. Everything else would fall into place.
Surprisingly, I slept through the entire night, and felt rested when I rose. There were a few things I needed to get in order before I made my way back to the hospital, so I washed the dirty dishes in the sink, straightened up the house, and found my mother's living will. I thanked God yet again. There was no way my father could do anything to harm her now. I was named my mother's primary caregiver. After I did everything in the house, I sat on the couch and pulled my cell phone out of my purse. My finger pressed the on button and the gray screen turned green. I had three new voicemails from Julian and four text messages from Delaney.
Delaney: Hey, are you around? I need to talk to you.
Delaney: Hey, just heard your message. Hope your mom is okay. Keep me posted.
Delaney: Hey, how’s everything? Can you please call me?
Delaney: You’re freaking me out! Call me! I have news for you!
I hit the call back button and she picked up on the second ring. “Brie!”
“Hey.”
“Oh my God, I’ve been going crazy worried over here. How’s your mom?”
I sighed. “It was a bit of touch and go at first, but they plan on waking her up from the induced coma today. I’m actually on my way to the hospital soon.”
“But she’ll be okay?”
“We won't know for a while; they have to see if there was brain injury. For now, all I know is that she’ll live.”
“Oh, thank goodness.” Delaney cleared her throat. “I have something to tell you.” Her voice changed. The concerned tone for my mother's well-being dropped and it was replaced with a bit of glee. “I hate that I have to do this over the phone, but I’m pregnant!”
I was shocked.
Stunned.
“Brie, say something?”
Was this why she ran out of Austin’s car crying?
I opened my mouth to speak when the doorbell rang. “Del, I need to call you back.”
Pushing off the couch, I strolled to the door. My heart picked up speed as I turned the knob and pulled the door open. His back was toward me as he scanned the shady neighborhood.
He came!
No . . .
It wasn’t him.
Julian turned toward the door, a full, wide smile filling his face.
“I heard about your mom.” He scratched the back of his head in a nervous gesture. “I figured you might need your stuff.” He stepped to the side. My car was parked at the curb filled with my belongings.
A soft sob escaped me and I leapt into his arms. For months he had been by my side, loving me even when I didn’t love him back. “You drove all the way here?” I cried into his neck.
Julian pulled away so he could look at my face. “I’d do anything for you, Brie.”
“Oh, Julian.” I hugged him tighter.
He came for me. When I didn’t ask. When I desperately needed a friend. Julian came for me.
He held me for a few more seconds before I released my death grip and asked him in. “It’s not much,” I said, embarrassed. His mother’s house seemed like a mansion compared to mine.
“How’s your mom?” He asked as he sat on the couch.
I explained the hellish three days I had. “They’re waking her up today, so I should get to the hospital soon. When do you have to go back?”
“I’m here for you, Brie. As long as you need me, I’ll be here.”
I entwined my hand with his. “Thank you.” I swiped at a lone tear.
“Hey, did you hear?” A grin lit his face. “You’re going to be an aunt.”
“I can’t believe Del’s pregnant.” The thought of Delaney as a mother boggled me.
“I know. Nate will be a great father. He’s always wanted kids.”
The world stopped.
“Wait. What?”
“Yeah, Nate’s the dad. Crazy, right? Apparently, they got tog
ether one drunken night a few weeks back.”
Without a word, I stood from the couch, grabbed my cell phone and walked upstairs to my bedroom. Once my door was closed, I typed out one final text message to Nate.
Me: Pregnant? You got her pregnant?
Nate: I’m sorry.
Me: It’s not fair to ask, but please, Nate. Pick me. Don’t stay with her. She will never love you like I do. Come back to me.
Nate: I can’t.
His family had abandoned him. There was no way he would ever choose me. I’d never be good enough.
Me: Then forget me. Forget who I am. Forget everything we ever shared.
Nate: I’m sorry.
Me: Fuck. You.
With all my might, I tossed the phone across the room, breaking it into pieces. I’d never been good enough for the people in my life. I wasn’t good enough for my father. And I wasn’t good enough for Nate.
But Julian . . .
I was good enough for Julian.
Part II
Nobody likes change. Whoever said they looked forward to their life changing lied. But change is inevitable. I was ten years older; married. I moved on. But the moment my gaze landed on Nathaniel Wright, I was right back to where I had always been—hopelessly in love with him.
Chapter 22
Brielle
Exhausted from a twelve-hour drive, I parked my car across the street and considered Louisa's house. I’d been inside only once for Thanksgiving over ten years ago, and even though she was my mother-in-law, I’d never visited her.
It was now the home of Nathaniel and Delaney Wright. Two people who, at one point, were the closest friends I had. Two people I hadn’t seen in a decade. Two people I avoided.
After I discovered their joyous news and sent Nate my hateful text message, I rose from my bedroom floor and made my mother's health my sole priority. Julian was a man of his word. He stayed beside me the entire time and became the man I needed in my life. I owed him everything. And with Nate out of the picture, I learned to love him. We had a small City Hall wedding where I vowed to be his wife. We were happy for many years. But I refused to ever return to Charlotte. It was simple. I didn’t want to leave my mother. The stroke caused permanent damage to her speech and she was bound to a wheelchair. Julian never pushed the subject. We didn’t even come down when Delaney and Nate welcomed their baby boy.
The reality was I couldn't stomach seeing Nate again.
Deep down in my heart, I knew I still loved him.
I wasn’t the same person who left Charlotte. Instead, I learned to live on autopilot, taking one day at a time.
The Brielle that Nate knew ten years ago was completely different from the woman I was today. I was filled with hatred and resentment, and I blamed him for all of it. He never really loved me.
I loved Julian. And this was why I came all the way to a place I swore I’d never step in again.
Inhaling the dry air in my car, I turned the engine off and pushed my shoulders back before I opened the door. “This is for my marriage,” I whispered as I stepped out of the car.
I reminded myself why I was here. Once you’re in, you’re in. I was staying in my marriage because I made a vow. Julian had given me promises, a house, a life. He picked me up when I was down.
But the fear that he’d continue to physically and verbally abuse me was why I came here. I would get him the help he needed to change.
My flip-flops slapped my heels as I stepped along the stone path. The landscaping had changed, and the house had been painted a periwinkle blue. The new black shutters told me the renovations were recent. With a trembling hand, I pressed the doorbell.
Nauseated.
Scared.
Anxious.
I wanted to hide and throw up. My legs threatened to bolt for a split second, but the door opened and there was no escaping the man standing before me.
Nathaniel.
Nate.
He was ten years older and—fuck me—he was one gorgeous specimen. His hair was cut short, and the scruff around his rigid jawline made me weak. His T-shirt covered broad shoulders. Why in God’s name did I still love that man?
This was a bad idea. It had been ten years. He was a stranger to me now, not to mention I probably looked like hell at the moment.
I turned and began to walk back to my car.
“Brielle, wait.” His voice was deeper, too. More masculine. And the way he said my name caused chills to run up my spine.
I turned back in his direction. “I'm sorry to knock on your door like this.” My voice was shaky. “I've been driving all day, and it didn't even dawn on me that I probably should've called.” My hands balled into fists. “But Julian needs help and I don’t know what else to do.”
Nate stood there motionless. The door opened further and Delaney greeted me. “Brielle! Don't be silly. You are never a bother.” Delaney hadn’t aged a day. With open arms, she closed the gap between us. “I haven't seen you in ages,” she mumbled into my hair. My gaze locked on Nate’s, and for the life of me, I couldn’t remember why I hated him.
Delaney hugged me tighter. “God, Brie, I've missed you so much. Come inside.”
I could feel Nate’s eyes on me as I walked across the threshold of their home, but I didn't dare look in his direction. One glance at him and I would lose my composure. I was here on a mission. I was here because I needed help. I swallowed back the golf ball sized nodule that had lodged in my throat and forced myself to smile at Delaney.
My lips parted to speak when I heard the closing of the back door and footfalls running through the house.
“Dad!” A young boy’s voice ricocheted through the house. It wasn't bad enough that Nate had stayed behind and married Delaney, but he had made a family with her.
The air vanished from my lungs as I anticipated meeting their son, Caleb. My nephew. I expected a younger version of Nate’s broad shoulders, scruffy brown hair, and piercing green eyes. Instead, I was greeted with a boy who had strawberry blonde hair and crimson freckles scattered across his cheeks.
I’d seen those freckles before on a boy named Austin. I pushed the thought out of my mind. It was not my place to meddle in anyone’s life when mine was in shambles.
Nate cleared his throat and opened his arm to the boy. “Caleb, this is your Aunt Brielle, Uncle Julian's wife.”
Bile rose in my stomach. This was wrong. Everything that had broken my soul was right in front of me: Nate, Delaney, and their family in their perfect fucking house.
“Hi,” the boy said timidly. His long eyelashes covered his big brown eyes. “It's nice to meet you.”
His soft spoken voice pulled me out of a trance. “Hi, Caleb.” I smiled.
“What did I tell you about running in the house?” Delaney rested her hands on her hips.
“Sorry, Mom.” Caleb bowed his head.
“Honey, why don't you take Caleb out to play catch?” Delaney looked over at Nate. “I think Brie and I need to talk.”
I forced my features to remain neutral and didn't meet Nate's gaze, though I felt his on me. The two exchanged a few whispered words as I scanned the foyer and took in their house.
It looked as though it was taken out of a Country Living magazine. Light walls, beautifully arranged furniture, and bouquets of fresh flowers scattered on various surfaces. Long white curtains hung from high on the wall, the sunset peering right into the living room, and family photos of the three of them were everywhere.
I wanted to run away. I wanted to throw up. I wanted to get back in my car and never look back. But I was there for Julian, and Nate was the only one who could help me.
“Come on, champ.” From the corner of my eye, I saw Nate ruffle Caleb's hair. “Let's play some ball.”
Delaney and I watched as Nate and Caleb strolled through the house and out the back door. When it shut behind them, she turned and looked at me
“Come on, let's sit in the living room.”
“Your house is beautiful, Del.�
� It seemed my dirty shorts would smudge her cream sofa.
“Thank you.” She sat next to me and smiled widely. “Nathan did it all himself.” She said her husband's name with such pride. “He worked at it little by little until we made it our home.” The way she said home was a dagger in my heart. I was so careless ten years ago. So stupid and young. What I felt for Nate was nothing like he felt for me. He built Del a home. And I was tossed aside.
Delaney placed her hand on my lap, her eyes soft and a sad smile on her face. “Talk to me, Brielle. I know it's been years since we've spoken, but tell me what's going on.”
She looked as stunning as ever, with her handsome husband and a child they both loved, while I looked homeless with layers of foundation covering the bruise Julian left on my cheek.
My eyes swelled up with tears. “I guess I have to start from the beginning.” Delaney grabbed a tissue and handed it to me. “When my mother had her stroke, life changed completely. I was lost; I didn’t know what to do. My father wanted to pull the plug on her, and the floor was slipping out from underneath me. Then Julian showed up at my door and he was my anchor. My mother lost her jobs and her health care benefits, but Julian discovered a whole life insurance policy that had cash value. My mother’s left side was paralyzed, and her rehab and physical therapy bills were insane.” I closed my eyes and allowed myself to remember those dreaded days.
“I became her power of attorney. I was able to cash out the policy to pay for her medical expenses. Of course, my father was there when I withdrew the money and asked for half of it.” I pinched the bridge of my nose, reliving my darkest moments.
“Oh, Brie.” Delaney held my hand.
“My mother doesn't know how to stand up to my father; she's never been able to. Even when she couldn’t speak or walk, she wanted to give it to him. But Julian stood up to him. He kicked Brian out of the house, and soon he became the man I fell in love with. Our provider.”
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