Shadow Dreams

by Evangeline Anderson

  Rising up a little, he withdrew his tongue and replaced it with two long, strong fingers. I cried out loud as I felt the delicious deep thrust inside my cleft and then he was sucking my clit between his lips, licking and tasting me relentlessly while he pressed deeper and deeper inside my sex, as though he was searching for my soul.

  I felt the hot wash of orgasm break over me in a sudden flood and there was a high, keening wail, not unlike the lonely call of the coyote I’d heard earlier that night at the park. It was me. I was trembling under his hands, under his mouth, coming apart in a sweet flood of release as he lapped at me, tasting my intense pleasure.

  “God, you’re delicious. You sing so sweet for me, baby,” he murmured at last. And then he was on top of me again and I welcomed the heat of his big body, welcomed the feel of his thick shaft between my thighs.

  He took my mouth in a searing kiss, feeding me the taste of myself as he sucked my tongue the way he had sucked my clit. I felt the velvety slide of his cock parting the lips of my sex as he rubbed over me, against me, but never quite inside me.

  “Please,” I whispered and this time the word held no fear or doubt. I wanted him in me—needed him in me, filling me, fucking me, owning me.

  “Wish I could but there’s no time,” he whispered. I saw him glance up over my shoulder through the window and a shadow of something like fear or regret passed over his hawk-like features. “I better go now,” he said, beginning to pull away. “There isn’t enough time.”

  “Wait,” I protested but then he was leaving me, pulling away despite my efforts to hold him.

  “Later … we’ll talk later.” The low voice faded into the darkness and I knew somehow that there was no point in following him. How can you hold onto a dream when it fades away? I rolled on my side instead and watched the moon through the window as it sank into the blackness of the sky like a white stone disappearing into a pond.

  Chapter 8

  The persistent ringing of my bedside phone woke me and for a moment I felt disoriented. Shouldn’t there be someone beside me in bed? Then I remembered yet again that it had been six months since the divorce and the only person in my bed since was just a dream. I was just going to have to get used to sleeping alone.

  “H’lo,” I mumbled sleepily when I finally managed to fumble the phone off the hook.

  “Angelina, are you okay?” It was Barbara and I could tell she was upset.

  “’Course I’m okay,” I said, sitting up in bed and trying not to yawn in her ear. “What’s wrong?”

  “Oh,” she sighed in obvious relief. “It’s just that I was watching the morning news and … didn’t you tell me you were taking Shadow for a run in the park when you got off work yesterday?”

  “Yes,” I said and suddenly everything hit me at once. The park, the man who’d attacked me, the stale stench of his breath and the malevolent glint of his knife… “Oh my God,” I whispered, half to myself. How could I have forgotten such a horrible thing? It should have been uppermost in my mind the minute I woke up, but instead all I could remember was that I’d had that damn dream again.

  “What is it?” Barb still sounded plenty worried and I hastened to reassure her.

  “Nothing, Barb. I … I’m fine. What did you see on the news?”

  “Well, now don’t get excited, hon, but they found something in the White Tank Mountain Park. Was that the one you went to?”

  “No,” I lied immediately, although I wasn’t sure why. “Why, what did they find?”

  “There was a man found on the path—badly beaten but that isn’t what killed him. He had his … his throat was ripped out, Angelina,” she finished in a rush. “He had a knife and they found some rope and a gag in his car. They aren’t for sure, but they think he might be the serial rapist that’s been around your area.”

  “Oh, you mean the one we never talked about?” I said, still feeling numb. His throat ripped out? I remembered the blood on Shadow’s jaws and the choked gurgling sound I’d heard coming from the dark path. Surely not … surely that blood belonged to a rabbit…

  “Be fair,” Barbara was saying as I tried to pull my mind back to reality. “You know Patricia and I knew about it. And we knew you knew about it. We just didn’t want to upset you, hon.”

  “I know,” I said and sighed. It must have been a rabbit. It had to be. I needed to get off the phone and think. “Listen, now that you got me up I really ought to let Shadow out. So far he seems to be completely house-trained but…”

  “Oh, yes, Shadow. I almost forgot,” she interrupted me. “You do remember about his appointment tomorrow, don’t you?”

  “What appointment?” I stretched, trying to get rid of the tingling feeling in my limbs. I must have slept like a rock.

  “The vet’s appointment,” Barb said. “Don’t you remember?”

  “No,” I said, feeling irritated. I wanted to get off the phone and try to think everything through, not sit in bed naked all day talking on the phone. Naked, what was I doing naked? It looked like I was beginning to make sleeping in the buff a new nighttime practice.

  “Geeze.” Barb sighed, a long-suffering sound that never fails to make Patty or myself feel guilty. She knows it too. “I guess that whole lecture about responsible pet ownership went right in one ear and out the other. The woman at the shelter even went out of her way to make the appointment herself.”

  “Well I’m sorry she went through the trouble and I do intend to be a responsible pet owner, but there’s no way I can get him anywhere tomorrow,” I said. “We’ve got a huge presentation for the Bardine Corporation and if I miss one second of it Phelps will kill me.” (Ronald Phelps was my boss, and sometimes nemesis, at Thackery Advertising Agency where I worked. Didn’t much like him.) “I was at the office most of yesterday just trying to finish the report and get prepared for the damn thing,” I told Barbara. “Everything has to be perfect.”

  “Oh, Jelly, I’m sorry.” She sounded really contrite on the phone. “I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just that the woman kind of bent the rules for us, letting you take him over the weekend and everything…”

  Just then the topic of conversation himself came clicking into the room. He stopped by the edge of the bed and barked once, looking at me expectantly.

  “Hey, is that him?” Barbara sounded delighted.

  “Yup,” I ruffled the fuzzy pointed ears that had given me such comfort the night before when I was trying to drift off to sleep. “Look, Barb, I really should go. I think he needs to go out.” Shadow’s big plumy tail swished as though in agreement.

  “Okay, hon, I’ll let you go. Listen, tell you what. I’ll drop in tomorrow morning and take him myself. I’ve got your spare key and I don’t have any clients scheduled until ten.”

  “Oh, Barb, are you sure you don’t mind?” I said, ruffling his fur. Shadow barked again.

  “Not a problem,” she said dismissively. “Just leave his paperwork out where I can find it, okay?”

  “Will do. Thanks a million, you’re the best,” I told her.

  “You’d do the same for me,” she said. “Besides, I’m just glad you’re all right. At least there’s one less sick-o out there to worry about.”

  “At least,” I agreed.

  * * * *

  I got dressed and let Shadow out. While I watched him water Douglas’s prize rose bushes through the kitchen window I sipped a cup of coffee and considered things carefully. Why had I lied to Barb about being in White Tank Park the night before? It had been almost a reflex but now I was glad. If Shadow had killed the man who’d been intent on attacking me, I didn’t want anyone knowing it. Not even my best friends.

  I sighed and poured the rest of the coffee down the sink. At least there was one less thing on my itinerary today. Going to the police was out. They wouldn’t let me keep an animal that might have killed someone, even if that someone was a serial rapist. I would have to keep things to myself and be more careful in the future.

  I whistled for
Shadow to come inside and made sure the door was locked behind him. Time for a shower. Despite the trauma of the night before I felt rested and relaxed which seemed strange. Was it because of the recurring dream I kept having? What I could remember of the one last night made me blush. The dream seemed to get hotter and hotter every night I had it. And I felt I could’ve recognized my dream lover anywhere—he was becoming that real to me.

  That’s not necessarily a good thing, Angelina, I lectured myself as I went for the shower, Shadow trotting at my heels. Having hot dreams is one thing, beginning to believe them is something else.

  It was time to get back to reality.

  Chapter 9

  “Come on, boy. Time for bed.” I patted my leg and Shadow got up from his place on the couch and followed me eagerly. We had been watching an old movie, a black and white one with no sex or violence, on the Classic Movie station. It was refreshing for a change. Lately I felt like I’d had enough sex and violence to last me a lifetime. Well, violence anyway.

  I hadn’t caught the name of the movie but it reminded me of my Grandma. She’d died when I was nineteen, but I remembered so many times when I was a little girl and a teenager going to her house and staying up late talking and watching those old black and white movies with her. She’d bake a batch of her famous Snickerdoodles and we’d curl up on the couch under a few of her homemade quilts and watch movies from a gentler, quieter time. I’d tell her my latest batch of problems and she pat my knee and tell me to relax because everything was going to be fine.

  “Child, I never saw such a worrier,” she’d say. “If you weren’t borrowin’ trouble I wouldn’t know you.” Then she’d laugh and kiss me.

  I sighed and wiped away a tear that had found its way down my cheek. It had been almost ten years since she died but I still missed her. Somehow her comforting presence still seemed to permeate the old house despite Douglas’s ugly redecorations.

  I was settling into bed, wearing my favorite ‘sleep diva’ night shirt (no more sleeping nude for me, thank you very much) when the phone rang. I glanced at the clock, it was past ten and I was trying to get an early night so I’d be fresh for the Bardine pitch on Monday. If it was Patty I was prepared to be firm. I had to get some sleep.

  “Hello?” I said, lifting the receiver to my ear.

  “Angie?” The voice made me stiffen immediately. There was only one person who called me that.

  “Yes, Douglas. What do you want?” We hadn’t spoken in almost three months, when he’d come by to pick up the last of his things. It hadn’t been a very pretty scene but then, no scene between myself and Douglas had been very pretty in the last year. Lying on the floor beside the bed, Shadow perked up his ears and growled.

  “What do I want? That’s not a very friendly greeting,” he said, as though we were long lost friends instead of recently divorced ex-spouses.

  “Why should I be friendly?” I said. “It’s late, Douglas, and I have a big presentation tomorrow. What do you want?”

  “I can’t talk to you like this,” he said, his high, nasal voice sounding annoyed.

  “Fine, then hang up,” I started to say but a new voice came on the line.

  “Angelina?”

  I sighed deeply. It was Justin, my ex-husband’s personal trainer and boyfriend.

  “Yes, Justin, how are you?” I said as politely as I could. Strangely, I had never felt nearly as bitter and angry at Justin as I had at Douglas. I guess I didn’t feel so much that Justin had taken my husband from me as that Douglas had defected on his own. If it hadn’t been his personal trainer it would’ve been some other hapless schmuck, the mail man, or the UPS guy, or somebody from his gardening club. In a way, I felt sorry for Justin because he had yet to learn what I had found out a long time ago. Gay or straight, Douglas was a jerk.

  “Angelina, we’re sorry to call so late but we just got back into town…”

  “Spare me,” I interrupted him. I didn’t need to hear yet another story about one of their romantic weekend retreats. Now that Douglas was out and proud, he was suddenly into all kinds of last minute ‘get-ways’. When we had been married I was lucky to get him to take me to the Quik-Trip for a Slurpee. Now he was the ‘Travel King.’ Or Queen. Or whatever.

  “Look, the point is that there’s a very important gardening competition coming up and Douglas would really like to have some of his roses to enter. Now I know you two didn’t part on the best of terms, and the judge ruled that the rosebushes were part of the property belonging to the house…”

  “Didn’t part on the best of terms?” I snorted, sitting up in bed. It was a definite understatement. There had been a huge, ugly scene in which Douglas informed me he was gay and that I could never meet his physical and emotional needs. There had been screaming and name-calling and I admit to throwing some of my ex-husband’s more expensive and breakable decorating touches at his head. I do have a temper when provoked.

  “But as a gesture of goodwill, Douglas is willing to let by-gones be by-gones and he just wants to stop by and…”

  “Forget it, Justin,” I said flatly. “Those rosebushes are the only change Douglas made to my Grandmother’s house that I actually like. He ruined my kitchen and the only thing left of his ‘Southwestern’ den is that stupid cow-hide couch and a potted cactus.”

  “Actually, he was sort of wondering about that cactus too…”

  “No cactus and no roses,” I said. “Douglas should have thought a little more about how much he loved those roses before you two started pumping iron together or whatever it is you do.”

  I slammed down the phone feeling a vindictive sort of satisfaction that comes from getting the last word.

  Shadow barked once, sharply.

  “I know,” I said, ruffling his fur. “Showed him, didn’t I?” Then I burst into tears.

  Shadow whined and jumped up to put his front paws on the bed. He nuzzled my shoulder and gave my cheek a big messy swipe with his taffy-pink tongue.

  “Okay, all right … enough already.” I held him off with some difficulty, grinning through my tears. He might not be human but it felt good to have someone who cared around. I stroked his ears and he barked again.

  “Now just look at me,” I told him, indicating my messy face. “I’m all over tears and dog slobber. I need another shower.”

  Sighing I got out of bed and decided to take a bath instead. I was way too wound up to sleep right away and a bath would help relax me.

  Shadow whined again and pressed against my legs as I tried to walk to the bathroom.

  “Come on, boy. Get out of the way,” I told him impatiently. “I’ll be back in a little while.”

  He gave up and laid his huge head on his paws, staring up at me reproachfully.

  “Geeze,” I muttered, stepping around his bulk to get to the bathroom. “Anybody would think I was a bad owner, not spending enough quality time with you.” I shook my head and closed the bathroom door behind me.

  * * * *

  I had been soaking in the tub for less than forty-five minutes when I heard something outside the window. I sat up in the tub and leaned forward. There it was again—a low clatter and then the unmistakable murmur of voices. Someone was trying to break into the house!

  I got out of the tub as noiselessly as I could, trying to remember if I had locked everything up tightly before going to bed. I didn’t bother with a towel, instead I wrapped myself in the silky pink robe hanging on the back of the door and snuck to the window. Being a bathroom window it was small and didn’t open very far. I couldn’t get my head out far enough to find out what was going on.

  The smartest thing would have been to dial 911, but I didn’t even think about it. All I could think about was that someone was breaking into my house and I didn’t want to sit passively by and let it happen. The way I had frozen at the park when the would-be rapist had attacked me really bothered me. I was determined not to freeze up again.

  “Shadow, come,” I whispered, slipping out of the bat
hroom with the slinky pink material of the robe sticking to my damp skin.

  He whined uneasily and I could see the fur at the back of his neck standing up. He had heard the noises outside as well.

  Together we padded noiselessly down the stairs and I kept hearing the ominous scratching and muttering just outside whenever the AC cut out. Shadow whined once more but never barked; he seemed to understand the need for silence.

  I listened carefully when we got downstairs to the back of the house. They were outside in my back lawn, probably trying to get in through the same door I let Shadow out by. But no … I crept a little closer, jumping when I heard an odd scraping sound. They were outside but it didn’t sound like they were at the door after all. Could they be trying to get in a window? But why?

  I dared to get right up to the crack in the door and listened hard. Shadow pressed against my legs, a low growl building in his throat. Clearly he was eager to get to the intruders. The voices were muffled but I could definitely detect two different tones above the scraping sounds.

  Suddenly I wasn’t scared anymore—I was angry. What right did these men have to come bother me in the middle of the night like this? I thought of the man who’d attacked me in the park the night before. That dirty son of a bitch… I was sick of feeling like a helpless victim. I was so filled with rage that if only I’d had a gun in my hand I could have shot the intruders without hesitation.

  Well, I didn’t have a gun but I had something just as intimidating. I flung open the door and gestured for Shadow.

  “Go get ‘em, boy,” I yelled, but he didn’t need any urging on my part. He was out the door like a shot with a tremendous volley of barking that would have made the bravest burglar wet his pants.

  I was about to follow him out when I realized what a stupid thing I was doing. Even with Shadow to protect me I had clearly heard two voices. What if he couldn’t handle two men at once? I needed a weapon.

  I ran back upstairs as fast as I could to get the mace Barbara had bought me. After a frantic scramble in my underwear drawer I found it under my black lace panties and charged back down stairs again, ready to take on anything. I expected to hear more barking or growling when I reached the open back door but instead there was an ominous silence.