Until I turned away. Blocked her out.
I couldn’t let her see deep inside of me. Couldn’t take the look on her face when she realized how sick I was.
I left, but I couldn’t get her out of my mind. She’d sneak up on me when I tried to fill my head with other things. I discarded one book after another. I even saw Sapphire, but I couldn’t stop picturing Marisol’s features on Sapphire’s face, and I ended up leaving even before we’d started our session. I paid her for the full time, of course. She just patted my cheek and told me to come back whenever I needed to.
I smiled, telling her I would, but when I left the building, I had the feeling it would be the last time.
I wanted things with Marisol that I’d never wanted before. Things like sleeping in the same bed and waking up with her head pillowed on my shoulder, her gorgeous hair spilled out on the sheets, her face relaxed and content. I wanted to take her to a carnival, go on all the rides, win her an absurdly large stuffed animal, and share cotton candy. To take her to the library and pick some books, and then spend hours reading to each other in the park.
Those things had never been on my radar before. I thought they were for other people. Normal people. I wasn’t normal. I had to stay in the shadows where I belonged.
Mari made me want to be in the light.
I kept asking her if she was sure, if she wanted to back out and she always said that she was, that she wanted me. She didn’t even know me. I didn’t want her to know me.
I checked on her a few times while she slept in my bed. She’d called me a prince and my bedroom an enchanted forest. I was just waiting for her to disappear. To vanish from my life as quickly as she’d arrived. Leaving me with nothing but the hole I’d lived with my entire life, but this time it would be raw and red and infected. Gouged larger by her absence.
She wanted my secrets. One each night. I’d already planned out which one I would share on each night. I also tried to guess which one would push her over the edge and make her run. It would be one of them. But would it be the third? The sixth?
Or worse, would she take all of them and still want to stay?
And coming May 15
Deep Surrendering
Episode 3
Deep Surrendering is a series of novellas that tell the story of Fin and Marisol. Each novella is around 20,000 words and contains a complete story, but all are part of a larger story arc. They will be released on the third Thursday of each month. The number of episodes is still being decided, but it will be around 12-14, which is two complete novel’s worth of content. For news about this series, please check out chelseamcameron.com and sign up for Chelsea’s newsletter.
This has been a fun ride so far and I have a few people to thank, including my family, friends, my author and blogger families (including the ladies of WDDR), my editor Jen, my copyeditor Kara, my formatter Ali and of course, all of you for devouring the first installment and begging for another. This ride is going to get a hell of a lot bumpier before it gets smooth. Hang on tight.
The Noctalis Chronicles
Nocturnal (Book One)
Nightmare (Book Two)
Neither (Book Three)
Neverend (Book Four)
The Whisper Trilogy
Whisper (Book One)
Fall and Rise
Deeper We Fall (Book One)
Faster We Burn (Book Two)
My Favorite Mistake
My Sweetest Escape
(Available from Harlequin)
Surrendering
Sweet Surrendering
Surrendering to Us
For Real
Chelsea M. Cameron is a YA/NA New York Times/USA Today Best Selling author from Maine. Lover of things random and ridiculous, Jane Austen/Charlotte and Emily Bronte Fangirl, red velvet cake enthusiast, obsessive tea drinker, vegetarian, former cheerleader and world's worst video gamer. When not writing, she enjoys watching infomercials, singing in the car and tweeting. She has a degree in journalism from the University of Maine, Orono that she promptly abandoned to write about the people in her own head. More often than not, these people turn out to be just as weird as she is.
Find Chelsea online:
chelseamcameron.com
Twitter: @chel_c_cam
Facebook: Chelsea M. Cameron (Official Author Page)
Table of Contents
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Bonus Scene from Fin's Point of View
Author's Note
Thank you's
Books by Chelsea M. Cameron
About the Author
Deep Surrendering (Episode Two) Page 7
