Script Timeline
Gene Roddenberry’s story premise, from his series proposal: March 11, 1964.
Roddenberry’s story outline, “The Women”: July 20, 1964.
Roddenberry’s revised outline: July 23, 1964.
Stephen Kandel’s 1st Draft teleplay, based on Roddenberry’s outline, now
“Mudd’s Women,” ST #4: May 1965.
Kandel’s 2nd Draft teleplay: June 1965.
John D.F. Black’s rewrite, his 1st Draft teleplay: May 17, 1966.
Black’s script polish (Mimeo Department “Yellow Cover 1st Draft”): May 23, 1966.
Gene Roddenberry’s rewrite (Final Draft teleplay): May 26, 1966.
Additional page revisions by Roddenberry: May 31, June 2 & 6, 1966.
Gene Roddenberry’s story outline, “The Women,” was one of three he wrote for NBC to choose from when planning the first pilot. The others were “Landru’s Paradise,” later to be made as “The Return of the Archons,” and the one the network picked, “The Cage.” The story in Roddenberry’s early drafts served as a blueprint for what was finally filmed except for one important fixture -- there is no Harry Mudd. That character came from Stephen Kandel.
NBC wanted to see three full screenplays by three different writers to choose from for the second pilot. Roddenberry wrote “The Omega Glory” and Sam Peeples wrote “Where No Man Has Gone Before.” The third script went to Kandel, who was not a science fiction writer but knew how to deliver scripts that network executives liked.
Stephen Kandel had started in television with half-hour shows such as Sea Hunt (for which he wrote 14 episodes) and The Millionaire, and then advanced to hour-long formats with Burke’s Law, The Wild, Wild West, I Spy and, in the tradition of lovable con men like Harry Mudd, 12 assignments on The Rogues (with David Niven and Charles Boyer). By 1964, the studios were eyeing him as a possible show runner and paying him to develop TV pilot scripts, including one at Screen Gems to star Vince Edwards of Ben Casey fame. Roddenberry, who’d also developed pilots for Screen Gems, read an unproduced script by Kandel -- the writer’s first foray into the science fiction genre -- and was duly impressed. The two men met and kicked around ideas.
Kandel enjoyed brainstorming with Roddenberry, saying, “I liked Gene a lot. He was fun to talk to because he liked to spin ideas. So, we had a good time.... He was always full of tremendous amounts of enthusiasm.” (95-1)
The concept which intrigued Roddenberry most was “Warrior World,” for which Kandel wrote a treatment, followed by a story outline. The somewhat violent and potentially costly tale was not working out, so Roddenberry asked Kandel to consider swapping stories and trying his hand at turning “The Women” into a teleplay. Since NBC had already seen and passed on Roddenberry’s outline, the story would need some major retooling.
The biggest hurdle in getting “The Women” on TV was its subject -- prostitution and drugs were hardly the type of thing NBC wanted in the prime time schedule. Helping the network to swallow the bitter pills was Kandel’s addition of the flamboyant, conniving Harry Mudd into Roddenberry’s story of “hookers in space.” Kandel said, “I originally had the idea of a kind of a traveling salesman and con man -- the medicine salesman in The Wizard of Oz that ends up as the Wizard; an interstellar con man hustling whatever he can hustle; a lighthearted, cheerful, song-and-dance man version of a pimp.” (95-1)
The slight-of-hand trick worked. Mudd effectively distracted the otherwise worrisome NBC censors from the hot topic issues at play in the story.
“We are talking about television in a primeval state,” said Kandel. “There was always something that was too hot to handle. We thought in a science fiction setting it was possible to do some stories that you couldn’t do in a street crime drama. So we treated this as if it were the American West, you know, ‘mail order brides.’ What else could you call them? We took it from there.” (95-1)
Portrait of a con man - Harry Mudd – a discarded film frame revealing a blank monitor screen (Courtesy of Gerald Gurian)
Kandel wrote two drafts of his “Mudd’s Women” script in 1965 when it was still an underdog contender for the second pilot film. Now that Star Trek was a series with an immediate need for scripts, it seemed sensible to resurrect one that had already been developed to some extent. But Kandel was preparing to produce a series of his own -- Iron Horse for ABC, which he co-created with Star Trek director James Goldstone -- and was not available to do the additional drafts of the script needed to incorporate new cast members and format changes.
Jack Guss, a TV writer who had recently served as script editor for 26 episodes of the one-hour dramatic series Channing, was offered the assignment. Roddenberry sent Guss a copy of Kandel’s revised first draft. Unaware that the script was based on a story by the show’s creator, Guss wrote back:
I read “Mudd’s Women” and consider the idea of this script beneath the challenge and breadth of the show’s concept as I visualize it from the pilot and my conversation with you.... Apart from any intricate weaknesses in the script it is not the strongest kind of action-adventure entry this early in the season.... To me, the theme is cloying and naïve and I find the resolution predictable.... There is no serious conflict between Kirk and Mudd or Kirk and Eve or Kirk and Childress.... The story has no focal point. (JG3)
Roddenberry took “Mudd’s Women” away from Guss and invited the writer to pitch a concept of his own. Guss received a story assignment, but this was “cut off” without proceeding to script. His association with Star Trek started and ended with equal abruptness.
Regardless of who would do the rewrite, Robert Justman was concerned over the number of characters in the script and suggested that Mudd’s women, as well as the miners who barter for them, be cut back from five each to four or, even better, three. The script needed to be cut back as well, from 75 pages to 65. And Justman felt many other things needed to go. He wrote Roddenberry:
You get me a horned koala creature that has been trained and won’t excrete on the actor’s shoulder, and I will be pleased to use it in the show.... On here, we see Benton riding a digging machine toward his cabin. Let’s eliminate this device right now. (RJ3-1)
Benton was one of the miners. The horned koala creature belonged to Mudd -- a sci-fi take on the parrot perched on a pirate’s shoulder. Otherwise, Justman liked much of what he read, writing:
I believe that by the use of judicious script editing, we can have a damn fine show out of this story. (RJ3-1)
Roddenberry was rewriting “The Corbomite Maneuver,” so “Mudd’s Women” was handed to Star Trek’s brand new script editor who was just moving his things into the office. Roddenberry’s April 18 memo to John D.F. Black read:
I think the only intelligent course is for you to take this on as an early project, giving it whatever time you can kick free from the more regular and routine tasks. No answer necessary now -- we can discuss after you’ve had time to settle in. (GR3-1)
Black’s regular and routine tasks, as soon discovered, were massive. He had to educate himself on all of Roddenberry’s ideas concerning the format of the series and nuances of its characters, its ship, its universe, sit in on story development meetings, read each draft of the story outlines and treatments as they came in, plus all the memos filled with comments from Roddenberry, Justman, NBC and De Forest Research, and then write memos filled with comments of his own, plus two original scripts and rewrite at least two other scripts started by other writers. He also had to write a pair of scripts in order to fulfill a prior commitment.
Mary Black recalled, “John had been working for Universal -- on Run for Your Life and Laredo -- and part of the contract with Desilu was that he was allowed to work on those projects, to finish them up, while he was beginning his work at Star Trek. That’s part of why we were working until two in the morning during much of that time.” (17a)
Despite the work load, and the overlapping deadlines, Black’s first stab at “Mudd” hit Roddenberry’s and Justma
n’s desks on May 18, just four weeks after he had been asked to take the project on. Mudd’s women now numbered at four.
Robert Justman, suggesting an idea that would stick, wrote:
It might be interesting to have someone other than Mister Spock in the Transporter Room when Harry Mudd and the girls first arrive. Later, in the beginning of Act 1, therefore, the four women could have some effect upon the person who is there to escort them to the Captain’s quarters. And they would be in close proximity inside the elevator and this might be some way of getting a little fun in a little earlier. (RJ3-2)
The final shooting script placed McCoy and Scott in the transporter room with Mr. Spock, allowing him to see the immediate reaction the others had to “the girls.” It was a delightful moment, as was the trip down the corridors and the “close proximity inside the elevator” with their escort. Credit Black for picking Spock as the escort and giving Harry Mudd the line about a pretty face not turning the head of “this one,” the “Vulcanian.” Credit director Harvey Hart for the “push in” on Spock’s face, revealing the dark anguish that tells us Mudd’s statement is not necessarily true.
Justman’s note, and concerns, continued:
We have the girls being transformed from ugly old crows to beautiful young chicks. I’m still plenty worried about being able to convince the audience that this change works. (RJ3-2)
In closing, worrying over the condition of all the outlines and scripts he was reading, and aware of a production schedule hungry for material, Justman said:
I feel, unless Gene has strong reasons to the contrary, that we must go with this script on the second show to be shot. And we cannot delay any longer. The decision must be made. (RJ3-2)
Roddenberry’s long memo to Black began:
A good script, excellent dialogue and characterizations; enjoyed reading it. But I do think our 8:30 time slot and NBC’s continued emphasis on a need for action-adventure requires that we hypo [inject excitement into] the story wherever possible; explore ways which might increase the mystery and suspense elements. (GR3-3)
Roddenberry didn’t like that Black followed Stephen Kandel’s lead in having Mudd and his women beam onto the Enterprise at the outset. He told his executive story consultant:
Suppose our teaser began at the point where a vessel -- out of visual sight -- has been picked up on the ship’s instruments and is trying to escape. It refuses communication, has no register beam.... The Enterprise instruments show the mysterious vessel tries to super-power its way to escape. Then we see a slight -inexpensive -- flare-up of the moving dot on the Enterprise viewing screen, then the dot is no longer visible. The vessel has overloaded, blown its engines, and now Kirk is worried that the mysterious vessel is drifting into certain destruction in a meteor belt. In other words, we extract during the teaser all the juice of the element, leaving Mudd and his women to serve as an additional dramatic element in Act 1. (GR3-3)
In this one memo, dictated quickly and late at night over a cocktail or two, Roddenberry had given John Black nearly everything seen in the filmed teaser segment ... except for one plot point. His next sentence took care of that.
Now, strain of a decision on Kirk, i.e., super-load -- or whatever term -- his own vessel in order to extend the Enterprise deflector beam far out into space to protect the other vessel. Also play at this same time frantic efforts to contact it, frantic efforts to establish Transporter Room contact so its occupants can be removed before destruction -- all this against increasing warnings by the proper control stations that the Enterprise is overloading. (GR3-3)
The teaser was mapped out. Roddenberry’s memo continued, walking Black through the early stages of Act 1:
The Enterprise power fails at an unexpected point -- the lithium crystal circuits.... A flare-up on the ship’s screen in the distance ahead of us, one meteoroid has gotten through the Enterprise’s fading deflector screen. The mysterious vessel is beginning to explode; break up. At this same moment, word from the Transporter Room that they’ve locked onto the bridge; are bringing in the Captain of the other vessel... where we first look at Harry Mudd -- and the “cargo” arrives -- Mudd’s women. (GR3-3)
It only took Black five days to hand in his rewrite, sent to the mimeo department and designated as the “Yellow Cover” First Draft script -- first to be sent to NBC; first to be circulated to the series’ department head; first to be leaked to the cast.
Black’s rewrite received guarded praise from Justman, although he didn’t care for the changes Roddenberry had asked for and said so in his next memo to both.
I feel that this is a much better version than we had previously.... [But] I don’t think the teaser is what we really need in this show. I don’t think it has a strong enough hook. To tell you the truth, I still think our teaser ought to end with the arrival of Mudd’s Women on board the Enterprise and I really do feel that the first six, seven or eight pages of this version really do not get us into the story soon enough. (RJ3-3)
Roddenberry liked Justman’s frankness, but many of the latter’s ideas concerning this script were ignored. Case in point: Justman said:
I would like to see Ben finally say that he does want Eve as she is, and vice versa. I have a feeling that we may have left this fact unresolved for the audience. I’d just like to see Ben finally crumble and admit that he has been wrong and indicate strongly how much he wants Eve. (RJ3-3)
This change was made, but only after Eve transformed back to beautiful, thereby losing the whole point of Justman’s recommendation.
At this point, Roddenberry had taken over, completing his rewrite -- the Final Draft from May 26, with additional revised pages arriving on June 2 and 6. His rewrite here, as with many of the early and formative scripts, was substantial. Wounded writers could -- and would -- complain, but a close comparison of first draft and final draft scripts clearly demonstrate the transformation from something better suited for an anthology series to something that was, by its nature and its execution, Star Trek.
Stephen Kandel understood this and, with no trace of animosity in his voice, later said, “Oh, Gene rewrote. He loved to meddle. No script was ever finished.” (95-1)
Roddenberry had rewritten the script for “The Corbomite Maneuver” even more so than that of “Mudd’s Women,” but did not ask to share in the screen credit with Jerry Sohl, whose notoriety as a science fiction author was an asset to Star Trek. Kandel, although a respected TV writer, did not bring such status to the new series, so on June 3, 1966, while still in the thick of the rewriting, Roddenberry petitioned the Writers Guild of America for a change in the writers’ credits on “Mudd’s Women.” He believed that his and Black’s contributions went beyond the call of duty of producer and script editor and warranted both acknowledgement and compensation. In his letter to the WGA, he wrote, “The writing credit we propose is as follows: Story by Gene Roddenberry; Teleplay by Stephen Kandel, John D.F. Black and Gene Roddenberry.”
The Guild believed the many script changes Roddenberry and Black made were in accordance with their positions as the series’ writing staff, which both were well compensated for. On June 31, Roddenberry’s request was denied. He would get the “story by” credit; Kandel alone was credited for the teleplay.
Roddenberry said, “Steve came up with that character. It was my story, but that was his character. By the time we filmed it, John Black and I had rewritten most of the dialogue and moved a lot of the action around. But that character of Harry Mudd was still a significant influence in everything we did; all those changes. And that was probably what the Arbitration Board was looking at.” (145-12)
All the rewriting made for a better script, a better episode and a better impression on NBC’s Stan Robertson, who was surprisingly supportive of this potentially controversial material. Of Roddenberry’s Final Draft script, Robertson wrote:
This has the makings of a very charming and somewhat different story for us, more so than anything we’ve attempted so far. Harry Mudd comes alive
as one of those unforgettable characters who illuminate our lives and our literature -- a lovable scoundrel. (SR3)
With so many troublesome Star Trek story outlines and scripts arriving on his desk, Robertson delighted in reading one which held his interest and, in the end, left him feeling moved. He continued:
There is a definition and motivation among our principals. One can easily understand and sympathize with the human emotions and feelings which exude from the women and the companion-starved miners they are paired with. As far as our regulars are concerned, they take on more dimension and we are exposed to newer facets of their personalities. Good dialogue and interplay between Kirk and Spock as there is between Kirk and Mudd. (SR3)
Nonetheless, Robertson also had misgivings. Echoing Robert Justman’s opinion that the story was taking too long to kick into gear, he told Roddenberry that too much time was spent explaining “gadgetry and use of instruments” and that this sort of thing was of “little interest to the development of the plot.” He complained:
It seems that all of the teaser and much of Act 1 is spent in establishing rather than saying.... We have to start like a sprinter rather than a distance man. (SR3)
Robertson, like Kandel, then Black, then Justman, preferred to meet Mudd’s women in the teaser. Regardless, there was no time for further debating. “Mudd’s Women” began filming the same day Robertson’s memo arrived at Desilu.
Pre-Production
May 24-31 and June 1, 1966 (6 days prep).
Harvey Hart, 37, was chosen to direct. Having begun in Hollywood as an actor, Hart had recently directed episodes for Alfred Hitchcock Presents, Laredo and The Wild, Wild West. James Doohan took direction from Hart in the 1965 film Bus Riley’s Back in Town, which also featured Kim Darby (who would play the title character in Star Trek’s upcoming episode “Miri”).
Robert Culp and Roger C. Carmel in an episode of I Spy (Courtesy of Three F Productions)
Jerry Finnerman, despite the raw nerves he experienced during “The Corbomite Maneuver,” was back in charge of the camera and lighting units. He said, “They’d given me one show and then would decide [whether] to give me another one. I’m on [“The Corbomite Maneuver”] a week and Herb Solow comes down with Roddenberry, and they say... ‘We don’t know what you’re doing, but we love it. And we’d like to sign you to a contract.’ Well, in those days, nobody had a contract; the days of the contract were gone. But they said, ‘We’ll give you a three-year contract.’ I think it was starting at $800 [per week]; the next year it would be $900; and then the following year a thousand. So, I talked to Harry [Stradling] and he said, ‘That’s fine... I’m going to get you my agent; he’ll make all the deals and anything that goes on he’ll handle it.’ So, in one week, I had a three-year contract.” (63-3)
These Are The Voyages, TOS, Season One Page 27
