Nora looked up at her sister, her eyes filled with doubt. Who was she in love with?
When she hadn’t spoken in several minutes, Dana chimed back in, “What are you thinking?”
“I love... well it’s... I think... I think I really need to know how to finish this sentence before I can talk to either of them. Maybe I need some time to myself to figure it out. When I am with Leo, I feel like it’s him. He challenges me, excites me in a way I didn’t think was possible. He gives me the butterflies whenever we are together. But then, when I’m with Gage, I’m sure it’s him,” Nora explained softly, her voice barely a whisper, as though she was just thinking out loud and Dana was not even in the room with her.
“And what is it about Gage?” Dana asked, her voice just as hushed.
“Gage,” Nora smiled, “he is so loving, and considerate, and thoughtful. He makes me happy, comfortable, safe. I feel like he’s my best friend.”
“Oh,” Dana grimaced, hoping that friend wasn’t a bad thing.
“No, no, he’s not in the friend zone, trust me,” Nora insisted. “We have a great physical connection too, especially after last night. What I’m trying to say is that I feel like Gage would always have my back, no matter what.”
“And Leo?” Dana asked curiously. “Would he always have your back?”
“That’s a good question.” Nora wondered, her voice trailing off.
She didn’t know that yet. Gage seemed to always want to take care of Nora, opening doors for her, checking in with her to make sure she was happy, doing little things to make her feel loved. Leo, on the other hand, was more of a modern man. He treated her as more of an equal, assuming she could take care of herself, which she could. He seemed certain that if she wasn’t happy about something, she would speak up, which she was starting to do. He had shown her in different ways that he cared, but it was just more subtle. It took her a while to get used to Leo’s style, but she liked the challenge. Would he have her back? Protect her heart? Put her needs above his own? That remained to be seen.
She just needed to decide what traits she desired from a partner more in the long term. What would ultimately make her feel like she was in a balanced, happy, and respectful relationship?
“Well, I like Gage,” Dana crowed, winking at her twin. “He’s frigging gorgeous and super sweet.”
“That he is, but in all fairness, you haven’t met Leo yet,” Nora exclaimed, knowing her sister was biased, “and you only met Gage twice, and both times were for just a few minutes!”
“Along with what you have told me about him, he just seems like a decent guy. Devon was so self-centered and you always had to work so hard with him. He made you jump through hoops, remember? I just worry that Leo might be the same,” Dana insisted, holding nothing back. “I understand your attraction to him, I really do, but are you sure this is not just about you wanting to hang with the cool kids all over again? Trying to prove your worthiness?”
Nora stared at her sister, her mouth agape, shocked by the allegation. It wasn’t uncommon for her to get annoyed by Dana’s opinions, hell, they didn’t see eye to eye on a lot of things, but this was too much! Nora was not a self-conscious teenager anymore! She was well beyond that, and the fact that her sister couldn’t see that was infuriating.
“I know you don’t want to hear this, but I worry about you. You deserve the best, and I feel like you are too close to the situation to see things clearly. Obviously Leo is a hot guy, but there is more to a relationship than sex!” Dana chided, dangerously close to crossing the line.
“Don’t you think I know that?” Nora snapped. “I’m not an idiot, Dana!”
“I know you’re not, that’s not what I’m saying. It’s just that I know a thing or two about this. Once the bloom is off the rose—and trust me, it will happen—there has to be something more to get you through the rough patches, those ups and downs that will inevitably come. You must remember that with Devon!” Dana offered, trying to redeem herself. “As much as I love Sam, our sex life is not as hot as it once was, if we weren’t close in other ways, it would be difficult to go through this ‘down’ with him, you know? The transfer to New York.”
Nora understood what she was saying, but Dana didn’t know everything Nora knew about Leo, or Gage. She took a deep breath, trying to gather herself. Dana was entitled to her opinion, it didn’t make her right.
“I wish you had a chance to meet him, that’s all. I feel like you would understand a little better, just why I am so torn,” Nora said, trying to keep her tone level.
She really needed her sister to appreciate what she saw in Leo, so she could understand why he meant so much to her.
“Well, I would have if he hadn’t avoided meeting me,” Dana grumbled, pushing her food away.
Nora sighed, unable to conceal her frustration.
“He wasn’t avoiding you, he had to work,” she offered half-heartedly, annoyed that she had to defend him.
It sounded like she was making excuses for him, and that would only feed into Dana’s doubts.
“Well then, why don’t I go with you tomorrow night? I’m not in rehearsal and Sam is working on a big case at the moment. It might be nice. If he is introducing you to his friends, it might be a great time to bring me along. Less pressure,” Dana suggested cautiously.
“That’s interesting,” Nora agreed.
It actually wasn’t a bad idea, Nora thought, confident that Leo wouldn’t mind.
“I’m heading over right after work. Do you think you can meet me here, at 5:00?”
Dana grinned at her, nodding her head enthusiastically.
“I’ll be here! I can’t wait to meet him, maybe he’ll prove me wrong.”
“I think once you meet him you will understand what I see in him,” Nora offered warmly, hoping in her heart of hearts it was true.
* * *
The drive to Leo’s place had been relatively easy. They had squeezed their way through a traffic jam, but other than that they made good time. Although she had been a little irritated with her sister, she was grateful that Dana was joining her. She had texted Leo earlier in the day for directions and asked him if Dana could come. He graciously agreed, even stating that he was excited to meet her. Nora took that as a sign that they had indeed been making great strides. She was in a wonderful mood, not only was she happy to meet Leo’s friends, she only had one more day of work before her vacation started. She had scheduled herself off for two weeks, her first time since starting her practice.
Leo lived in a modest condo close to the fire station, a two story town home with an overgrown garden in the front. It was clear that the place needed a woman’s touch, Nora thought, smiling to herself. She looked at her sister and shrugged.
“Kind of a cute place, right?” Nora mused, taking her sister by the arm.
“Have you not been here before?” Dana asked, a note of surprise in her voice.
“Actually, no, this is the first time. We always just stayed at my place,” Nora answered back, suddenly feeling insecure.
Was that odd, she wondered? Dana noted the look on her face and smiled.
“Well, we’re here now, right? That’s a good sign.”
“Yeah, I guess it is,” Nora agreed, leading her sister up the stairs.
Leo answered the door looking fine, the scent of his aftershave filling the space between them. He pulled Nora into his arms and gave her a kiss.
“Hi, I’m glad you made it. This must be the sister you’ve been talking about,” he said, holding his hand out to her.
Dana shook his hand and smirked at him.
“I’m Dana. Don’t believe a word of what she tells you. Unless it was about how fucking awesome I am, then it’s all true,” she quipped, rolling her eyes at him playfully.
“Only good things. She left out the part about how beautiful you are though,” he flirted, in typical Leo fashion.
Dana giggled girlishly, succumbing to his charms.
“I did not,” Nora
chimed in, grateful that Leo seemed so at ease. “I told him well in advance and also warned him you were married.”
“Lucky man,” Leo winked, stepping aside so the two women could enter. “Come on in, everyone is out back on the patio. I just turned on the grill.”
“I brought wine,” Nora said, handing him the bottle as she passed him. “It’s the St. Francis Merlot we had on our first date.”
Leo cocked his head and smiled, taking the wine from her.
“That’s pretty thoughtful. Thank you.”
He quickly kissed her again, then led them up the stairs to the backyard. There were three couples sitting around a long patio table, all of them looking very comfortable with one another, the way really good friends do. Nora hoped that she and Dana would be able fit into their cozy clique. As soon as they saw the women, they all stopped talking, but continued to smile. One of the men stood up and came closer.
“Guys, this is Nora,” Leo said proudly, drawing her a little closer, “and her twin sister Dana. Ladies, this fella here is my buddy Chuck, but we call him Pitbull, and the pretty blonde at the end is his wife Leah.”
Nora gave them a little wave, acknowledging the introduction.
“And just beside Leah is Mandy, and that ugly mother-fucker beside her is Shrek. You can probably guess why,” Leo continued, with a spirited chuckle.
“Otherwise known as Joe,” Shrek chortled, giving Leo the finger.
Everyone laughed.
“That handsome bastard with the red hair is Paddy, a.k.a. Patrick, and his girlfriend, Kate,” Leo finished, looking back at Nora with a grin.
She had never seen him so relaxed, and it suited him.
“How’s it going,” Dana called out, never uncomfortable meeting new people. “Did you save some beer for us?”
“Yeah, come on over, pull up a chair!” Shrek called out, gesturing for her to sit down.
“So, you all have nicknames?” Nora asked, following Leo to the table.
He unfolded a chair for her so she could sit down, beside what she assumed would be his seat.
“We sure do,” Paddy smirked, toasting his beer bottle at no one. “It’s a badge of honor in the department to have a nickname.”
“What’s yours, Leo?” Dana chirped, taking the beer Shrek just cracked opened for her.
“Who, the Italian Stallion?” Chuck/Pitbull teased, taking a seat beside his wife. “We call him Romeo...”
“Or Lieutenant,” Leo grunted, shooting them a playful warning with his eyes.
Nora laughed along with everyone else, taking Leo’s hand in hers. The nickname didn’t surprise her.
She looked up at Leo and smiled, but he was looking around, as though he was missing someone.
“Where’s Coop?”
Nora felt a prickle of fear claw down her spine just before her skin went ice cold. She looked across the table, her eyes searching for her sister.
“He just went to the bathroom, I think,” one of the wives offered.
Nora didn’t see which one.
Dana didn’t appear to have heard Leo’s question, but when she finally made eye contact with Nora, she could tell that her sister was distressed. She raised her eyebrows, in an unspoken question. Nora shook her head weakly, unsure of what to think.
“Okay,” Leo replied, sitting down beside Nora. “Hand me one of those brewskies, will ya Paddy?”
“Coop?” Nora asked discreetly, hoping not to draw attention to herself.
“Ya, Coop! Gage Cooper. He’s the friend I was telling you about, my high school buddy, from Ojai?” Leo reminded her, taking a sip of his beer.
It was almost unnoticeable, but he offered her a look that begged her discretion, as though he didn’t want the others to know the whole story. Nora was sure no one else would have caught it. She swallowed hard, fear catching in her throat. Never in a million years did she imagine that her two lovers knew each other, let alone that they would end up in the same place together. How in the hell was she supposed to handle this, she wondered, downing the glass of wine that had been placed in front of her. Leo looked at her inquisitively.
“Is everything ok?” he asked, more out of curiosity than concern. Nora looked at him and nodded slowly, trying to force a smile.
“Yes, I just remembered I forgot to call my service. Will you excuse me for a minute?” she asked, grabbing her purse. In her haste, she knocked Leo’s beer off the table and it came crashing down onto the patio stones beneath. It smashed into a million pieces, mirroring precisely how Nora felt, her life unfolding that very moment. Dana looked up, alarmed by her sister’s uncharacteristic behavior. She got up to offer a hand but Nora was already under the table with one of the wives, picking up the broken glass.
In the midst all the chaos, Coop walked through the patio doors. He smiled at Dana, and offered her a look, mixed with both recognition and confusion, as though wondering why she was there. Suddenly, the situation became crystal clear to Dana. Nora was in a deep, dark bucket of shit.
“Coop!” Leo called out, waving his friend over. “I want you to meet someone.”
Nora wished she could have stayed under the table for the rest of the night, mortified by her predicament. She had always been very honest with both of them that she was seeing other people, but this? This was possibly too much for all of them to bear. It was awful. There was only one thing she could do, stand up and embrace the suck.
She got up, minding not to bash her head into the table, then turned to face her karma. Seeing both of her lovers standing in front of her, side by side, was a shock to her system. She felt queasy, like she was suddenly on an amusement park ride that was decidedly more terrifying than amusing.
“This is Nora,” Leo said proudly, holding out his hand, gesturing her towards him.
Gage looked at her curiously. Nora noticed his lip twitch ever so slightly, as though he didn’t know whether to smile or frown. She waited for him to speak, mainly because she didn’t know what the hell to say that could make the situation any better.
“Hi there,” Gage greeted, his muted voice suggesting recognition.
He looked over at her twin and waved.
“Hi Dana.”
Dana grinned at him sheepishly and waved back, gratefully silent.
“Do you guys all know each other?” Leo asked.
He looked between the three of them, pleasantly surprised. The girls stared at one another smiling weakly, but didn’t speak. Nora reluctantly looked back at Gage, waiting for him to drop the bomb.
“Yes,” Gage nodded, meeting Nora’s regretful gaze, “we met at a game awhile back, during a reception, a business function if I recall. A room full of stuffy male lawyers and these two beauties. You can imagine where I found myself.”
His voice trailed off as he broke eye contact with Nora. She knew that he was just as stunned and confused as she was and yet he chose to be discreet, and save her from public humiliation.
“Of course you would,” Leo said, playfully punching his buddy’s shoulder. “Who wouldn’t?”
“Good to see you again, Coop,” Dana chirped, giving him a grateful look.
He waved back half-heartedly, but didn’t smile. Nora wished that she could go to him and pull him into her arms. To do something, anything, to make him feel better.
“Grab another beer buddy, take my seat. I’m just gonna grab a broom to sweep up some of this glass,” Leo said, signaling to Paddy to grab two more beers, one for himself and one for his friend.
He turned and walked cheerfully back into the house, oblivious to the shit storm raging around him.
Nora sat down beside Gage, unable to make eye contact with him. The other guests just carried on as though nothing had happened, the men chipping on one another while the wives talked amongst themselves and Dana. They tried to include Nora in the conversation, and she pretended to be interested, but her mind was spinning off into the stratosphere. She could feel the adrenalin coursing through her body, as the fight or flight
kicked in, warning her of impending doom, begging her to make a choice, run or prepare for battle. She wanted to get the fuck out of there, but for the fact that her legs were like rubber bands and weren’t likely to hold her up.
Leo returned shortly with a broom and dust pan, and one of the ladies took it from him. Kate, if Nora remembered correctly. She went to work sweeping up the last of the splinters while Leo came over to Nora and put his hands on her shoulders. She handed him his beer, looking over her shoulder at him. He smiled at her, but Nora only nodded in return, her eyes catching Gage’s on their way back down. He smiled at her warmly, his eyes filled with empathy. And something else. Concern? Was he worried about her?
Dinner passed by slowly and painfully for Nora. She did her best to appear cheerful, but it was not easy. She had never been more grateful in her life that her sister was there to pick up the slack. Dana was her charming self, entertaining the room with tales of Dance With Me and the various celebrities on the show—who was the nicest, who was the biggest diva, who got caught masturbating in the janitor closet right before a show. Leo’s friends were enchanted with her. Leo himself was busy playing the perfect host, making sure that everyone was well fed and content, in typical Italian fashion. He would catch Nora’s eye and wink every now and then, as though he was proud of her, happy that she was finally a part of his circle. She smiled back at him but she felt sick inside, knowing that in just a few short hours his good mood would drastically change. Gage seemed to be blending in too, but as soon as everyone started mingling after dinner, he made his way to the opposite side of the yard, away from her.
While everyone was in the midst of a heated conversation about politics, Nora excused herself to use the bathroom. She needed to freshen up and regroup. Nothing in her life, or her education, had prepared her for any of this. She knew that before the end of the evening her life was going to flip on its axis. It was quite possible that the only answer was for her to end it with both Leo and Gage. They were friends. More than that, they were like brothers. Gage had saved Leo’s life, they were connected forever by the threads of karma. She could never break that bond. She didn’t think she could ever come between them. They needed each other. Leo had so few people in his life he could open up to, and now the two he trusted the most were sleeping together!
Her Baby Donor: He's doing her the old-fashioned way. Page 65
