Family, she thought.
She knew that wasn’t quite what she, Grady, and Destiny were, but they sure felt like one.
Grady put snow chains on the car and they got on the road. A few minutes later they were passing the entrance to the Raven’s Nest.
“I bet that’s a place you never want to go back to,” Grady said.
Autumn smiled. “You have no idea.”
“They were strange people, and I don’t even have a problem with that. People have a right to be as strange as they want, in my opinion.”
“As long as they’re not harming anyone,” Autumn said.
“Right. And the thing about the Hildegards, is that you got the distinct impression that maybe they would harm someone.”
“I got that feeling sometimes too,” Autumn said.
Grady looked at her.
“The truth is, I felt guilty leaving you there with them. I had a feeling something bad might happen.”
“It wasn’t your responsibility to protect me,” she said.
“I know, but I would have liked if it was.”
Autumn felt her cheeks flush. “Really?” she said.
Grady nodded.
“I don’t think anyone’s ever said that to me,” she said. “At least, anyone but my mother.”
“What about your father?”
“I never knew him,” she said. “He died when I was very young.”
Grady nodded.
They drove on, through the town of Destiny and onto the winding road that led out of the mountains and back to civilization. Autumn watched the scenery pass. It was beautiful, there was no doubt about that, but there was something scary about it too. It was so grand. The mountains rose so far into the sky you could no longer see the peaks. The forest was so dense you could imagine any type of wild animal living in there. The rivers gushed rapidly, icy water racing with currents that could kill.
She loved it. She loved the grandeur and the power of the Rockies, but she knew she’d never be quite at home there, she’d never feel truly safe there, unless she had someone by her side. Someone strong. Someone who knew how to handle himself and protect her from the wilderness.
She was feeling sentimental, she knew that, but what she was imagining was a life with Grady in the cabin. The cabin was quaint, comfortable, cozy and safe. It was a place she could live happily, so long as Grady was there.
She shook her head, feeling foolish for allowing her thoughts to get so far ahead of her. He was driving her home, not setting up with her in his cabin.
After they got out of the mountains they reached a real highway, an interstate, and Grady pulled over and took off the snow chains. When he got back in the car, Autumn spoke, breaking the silence the three of them had been enjoying.
“Thank you,” she said out of the blue.
Grady looked at her, and there was such affection, such kindness in his eyes. She had no idea where it came from. How could he be so nice to her? Why was he so fond of her?
“I’m just glad I found you, Autumn. I’d die thinking of you out in the cold, all alone.”
“I’d probably be back at the Raven’s Nest by now if it wasn’t for you.”
“Well, sometimes God just puts you in the right place at the right time.”
“You really believe that?”
He nodded and she knew he was telling her the truth.
“I wouldn’t have called my baby Destiny if I didn’t,” he said.
Autumn looked back at the baby. She was sleeping so peacefully.
“Destiny’s mother,” Autumn said, unsure what she wanted to ask.
Grady nodded. “I thought my relationship with her was a mistake. I didn’t love her. I didn’t want to be with her. We had a one night stand and it was awful. She was a drug addict. I even went so far as to buy her morning after pills to make sure nothing happened.”
“Guess that didn’t work out,” Autumn said.
“It sure didn’t. She got pregnant and I couldn’t let her destroy the baby so I looked after her.”
“And you think that was destiny?”
“I thought it was a pain in the ass,” Grady said, laughing. “But I did the best I knew how to do. I looked after her, I kept her clean, I tried to get her healthy and back on her feet.”
“But it didn’t go according to plan?”
“No it didn’t, and for a long time I blamed God for that. I thought it was a curse. Destiny’s mother ran off with her old drug dealer, a despicable guy, and their car crashed. They told me at the hospital there were no survivors.”
“So you thought you lost the baby too?”
“I did until the authorities called me out of the blue six months later and told me they’d been looking for me the entire time.”
“And what did that make you think?”
“First, I was in shock.”
“Of course,” Autumn said. “Anyone would be.”
“Right. But now I think, you know, destiny. Fate. I feel like it was all in God’s hands the entire time. I don’t want to sound wishy washy. I’m not the kind of guy who shows up at church every Sunday.”
“No, I didn’t think you were,” Autumn said.
“I’ve lived a hard life. I’ve done things no man should ever do. To be honest, I don’t even know how I sit with God. I mean, I’ve killed people, Autumn.”
“I see,” she said.
“But I know one thing. I used to say, fear nothing. That was my motto.”
“And what’s your motto now?”
“Now it’s, fear nothing, except for God.”
“I think that’s a pretty good way to live.”
“Well, it’s better than the way I used to live, I’ll tell you that much.”
They drove on and Autumn thought about what Grady had said. She couldn’t say she fully understood everything. She wasn’t even sure he understood all his feelings about what had happened in his past. But there was one thing she knew for certain. She knew he was a good man, he was a man of honor and duty, he gave family the loyalty the respect it deserved, and he was a man she could see herself falling in love with.
It wasn’t just his looks. It wasn’t the muscles and tattoos. It wasn’t the attitude, the confidence, the way he always seemed to know what to do. It certainly wasn’t the fact he seemed to be rich, beyond any financial worries.
It was just … him. Who he was. What he believed. Where he stood on matters of the heart.
He was a man. A real man.
And Autumn had a sneaking suspicion that he was fond of her in a way that didn’t come along every day. She’d never been treated the way he treated her. She’d never been spoken to the way he spoke to her. She wasn’t sure if he was this nice to all the girls, but she was sure he made her feel a way no other man ever had.
They drove on and every once in a while, Grady would turn to look at her. She’d look back and they’d lock eyes for a few seconds before he looked back at the road. Sometimes he’d smile. Sometimes he’d blush or look embarrassed.
Autumn herself would have been embarrassed except for the kindness, the fondness, she saw in his face every time she looked back at him.
When Destiny woke up, Autumn reached back and took her from her car seat and held her. She played with her a while, bounced her on her knee, fed her from her bottle, and when she fell back asleep, she put her back in her carseat and tucked a little blanket over her.
“You’re good with her,” Grady said.
“I like babies.”
“You’ll be a good mother one day,” he said.
She didn’t know what to make of that.
A few hours into the journey she started to feel hungry, and as if reading her mind, Grady pulled into the exit lane.
“You ready for a bite to eat?” he said.
“I’m starving.”
Grady laughed.
“I’m not surprised. After the night you had, your body is going to need a lot of strength.”
They got off th
e interstate and pulled into a roadside diner. It was the type of diner that could have been in any town in the country, welcoming, comfortable, unassuming. Local faces looked happy and satisfied. The line cook called out the orders as they were ready and the waitress ran to get them. It seemed Grady liked that type of place, and Autumn was glad because she did too.
She carried the baby from the car and Grady thanked her.
“Of course,” she said. “It’s the least I could do.”
“It’s a real relief for me to have a woman along for the ride,” he said. “I’m always afraid I’m forgetting to do something for Destiny that a woman would instinctively know about.”
“You’re doing great,” Autumn said.
They went inside and grabbed a booth by the window. The winter wasn’t nearly as set in as it was up in the mountains and there was only a little snow outside.
A waitress came and they both ordered coffee and the special. They sat across from each other, Autumn holding the sleeping baby, and didn’t say a word until the waitress arrived with their coffee and broke the spell.
“So,” Grady said, “you know all about me but I know next to nothing about you.”
Autumn smiled. She wouldn’t say she knew all about Grady but it was true that she hadn’t told him much of her own story. The question was, where to start?
“Well, I graduated high school earlier this year and was all set to go to college.”
“To study what?” Grady said.
“Literature, poetry, english.”
“You want to be a writer?”
Autumn nodded shyly. “I mean, I would have liked to, but you know how life is.”
Grady nodded. “Your mom got sick?”
“Yeah. She was sick before, but it got really bad during the summer. We did everything we could for her, but eventually we ran out of ideas. The clinic she was getting help at could only do so much and they kept recommending we take her to the hospital across town that was part of the medical school. They had the best treatments in the world there. I mean, they had the professors and experts who are inventing the new treatments. It was her best chance.”
“But it wasn’t cheap?”
Autumn nodded. “No, it wasn’t cheap. She had some income from her pension and my dad’s insurance, but it was hard to make ends meet. We had to refinance her house, sell most of our things, and of course, cancel my plans to go to college.”
“And that’s when you decided to go to Destiny?”
“Well, I needed to work, and my aunt told us about the job at Raven’s Nest. She knew Mrs. Hildegard from way back when.”
“She knew her and still sent you to work for her?”
Autumn nodded. “Well, I don’t know how well they know each other. A lot of years have passed. Anyway, Mr. Hildegard got one look at me online and offered to pay my mother’s medical bills if they sent me.”
“Sounds strange.”
“Yeah, it does,” Autumn said, thinking of her moments alone with Mr. Hildegard. The memory still gave her the chills.
“Were you sorry to have to give up your school plans?”
“Of course I was, but the way I see things, family comes first. My mother needs that hospital. I would do anything if it meant she could stay there. That’s why it came as such a shock when I learned the Hildegards hadn’t been sending her the checks they’d promised. The whole reason I was there was to keep my mom in good care, and they never sent a penny. I could have been at home the whole time, working at the bakery I worked at during high school, and it would have made a bigger contribution.”
Grady nodded. “I can see why you were so upset, Autumn. I would be too.”
Autumn looked at him. “I still haven’t really thanked you for everything you’ve done. I heard what you said to them, giving them your credit card number. I was so shocked I didn’t know what to say.”
“You don’t have to say anything,” Grady said.
“I do. I mean, those bills will add up to thousands of dollars. How can you afford that?”
“I can spare the money, Autumn.”
“But why use it to help me?”
Grady looked at her and seemed to be thinking about his answer. He gave a little shrug and when he spoke, his voice sounded even and calm.
“I don’t know. It’s like what we were talking about earlier. Fate. Destiny. I just feel like I want to do this thing for you more than I’ve ever wanted to do anything in my life. And if you needed something a million times harder, I’d want to do that for you too.”
“You keep saying you want to do things for me.”
Grady nodded. “It’s true.”
Autumn wasn’t sure how to ask what she wanted to know. She made to speak and stopped herself, going back over the words she would use.
“I guess, what I’m asking, Grady, is why me? You could help anyone. That waitress over there, the line cook, those customers at the counter, I’m sure all of them could use your help as much as I could.”
Grady looked around the diner at everyone Autumn had pointed out.
He took a deep breath before speaking.
“Well, the truth is, it looks like I’m doing this for you, but I’m really doing it for myself. It’s not selfless, Autumn. This is something I’m taking for myself, because it feels right, and I feel like I’ve earned it. I’ve spent a lot of time in my life helping people, and often they were people I didn’t necessarily want to help. This time, I’m picking the one person I know I want to help more than I’ve ever wanted anything. I want to do this. I want to do this for you. And this time, I’m taking what I want.”
“What you want?” Autumn said uncertainly.
“I’m not asking you for anything in return. Don’t worry. I don’t expect you to repay the favor or anything. I just mean, out of all the things I could be doing right now, this is the thing I want most. And I’m not going to let anything stop me from being here, with you, doing this.”
Autumn looked at him. She had no idea what to say. What did he mean? He wanted this for himself? He wanted to help her more than he wanted anything else?
What was that?
Did it mean he liked her?
That he wanted her?
Or just that he wanted to do something good with his life and his money?
“Well, Grady, I don’t know what to say to that exactly, but I will say this. Thank you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.”
CHAPTER 23
GRADY
They drove the rest of the day and when he started to get tired, Grady pulled off the highway for a motel. It wasn’t any place special, just an ordinary sixty dollar a night motel you might see at any highway exit, but to Grady it was the nicest place he’d ever seen.
The reason it was so nice to him was that for the first time since he’d found out he was going to be a father, things felt right. He felt like he had a family under his wing. A baby and a woman. And not just any woman, a good woman, one who cared about him and his child. He knew Autumn wasn’t Destiny’s mother, he knew they weren’t even a couple, but none of that seemed to matter. All that mattered was that the three of them were together.
They went into the office, Grady carrying the luggage and Autumn carrying the child, a light snow falling from the sky. It was almost Christmas and the three of them checking into the motel reminded Grady of the story of Mary and Joseph in Bethlehem, searching for an inn.
“We need two rooms,” Grady said to the man at the reception.
“Sorry, mister, we’ve only got one left.”
Grady looked at Autumn a little awkwardly. “Oh, well, I don’t know, is there another motel nearby?”
“Not in this town,” he said. “Which way you headed?”
“East.”
The man shrugged. “I don’t know, I don’t think you’ll find much for a while.”
“How many beds in the room?” Grady said.
“One king.”
Grady looked at Autumn and she gave him a smal
l, almost imperceptible nod.
“We’ll take it,” he said.
They checked in and Grady asked the man if there was anywhere they might buy some clothes and toiletries.
“There’s a Walmart just down the street. A few restaurants and gas stations too.”
“That will have to do,” Grady said.
The man gave them a key and led the way down the corridor to their room.
“It’s not much,” he said, opening the door, “but it’s all we have available.”
They went inside and Grady threw his bag on the bed.
“It’s perfect,” he said to the man and he nodded and left.
Grady looked at Autumn and shrugged.
“I don’t want to make you uncomfortable,” he said. “You and the baby need a decent place to spend the night. I’ll sleep outside in the car.”
A flash of worry crossed Autumn’s face.
“No,” she said, and it was the loudest he’d ever heard her say anything.
“You don’t want me to sleep in the car?”
“It wouldn’t feel right,” she said.
“Autumn, I’m a thirty year old man. You’re what?”
“Nineteen,” she said, reminding him.
“It wouldn’t be right for me to take advantage of the situation.”
“You’re not taking advantage,” she said. “We’re just sharing a room because it’s all there is. I don’t want to sleep in here without you. I don’t want you in the car.”
Grady looked at her. He felt guilty just being in the room with her. She was so good, so lovely. She was too beautiful to be stuck in a motel room with the likes of him.
He felt a throb of desire at the thought of spending the night with her, even if nothing happened. Even if they just shared the room, her on the bed and him on the armchair by the television. She was beautiful, truly beautiful, an angel sent from heaven to ease his aching heart.
“Well, lets talk about it later. First we need to go buy you a few things to wear, and get something to eat.”
They left their things in the room and went back to the car. A minute later they were pulling up outside the Walmart.
They went inside and bought Autumn some basic clothes, clean underwear and socks, toiletries, makeup and perfume. Grady was adamant she get everything she could possibly need.
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