“What is it?” Celia asked. “Did you change your mind about joining my group?”
“No. I want to be in your group. I just thought you should know that over the past month, I had a chance to talk to Lady Steinbeck. That is, to Iris.” She took a deep breath then added, “I think she’s a nice person. I hadn’t expected her to be since we had that disagreement with her before she married Lord Steinbeck, but once I sat down and actually talked to her, I found out we were wrong about her.”
Celia shifted in her chair, unsure of how to respond. It still irked her that Iris hadn’t even wanted to spend time with her and Loretta that evening at the dinner party before Iris married Lord Steinbeck. She only did so because she’d had no other choice. Then Iris had called her and Loretta senseless chits who were boring.
“You have to admit that we were rude to her,” Loretta said.
“She was rude, too.”
“I’m not saying she wasn’t. We all said things we shouldn’t have.” When Celia sighed, she hurried to continue, “No one is perfect. Neither you nor I have been good at all times in the past. If you’re honest with yourself, you won’t deny that.”
As much as Celia hated to relent, Loretta’s argument was far too logical to dismiss. “I know I don’t always act in the best possible way, but how am I supposed to get beyond the fact that I don’t like Iris? Whenever I think of her, I get upset because of what she said to us.”
“Think of the things you said to her. It helps to put things in perspective when we remember we also said things we shouldn’t have. And Celia, I’m not saying that you were the only one who said things that were wrong. I did, too. We told Iris that she was plain to look at and that she had nothing interesting to say. Then we added that the only way she could get a husband was to have her marriage arranged.”
“We didn’t word it like that.”
Loretta shot her a pointed look. “We did say those things to her, and we were wrong.”
Well, when Loretta put it like that, Celia supposed Iris had a reason not to like them. Or rather, her. “How did you resolve things with Iris?”
“I apologized, and she apologized, too. Then we agreed to start over.”
“That was it?”
“Iris is a very forgiving person. She doesn’t hold onto grudges like some ladies do.” She picked her cup back up and took a sip. “If we had talked to Lady Eloise like that, she would have ruined our reputations.”
Yes, Celia had no doubt about that. She, however, didn’t know how it was best to apologize to Iris. She wasn’t used to apologizing to anyone for anything. Just how did the whole thing work? Apologizing to Damara had been easy enough since Celia met Damara’s parents and realized that if Damara hadn’t married Anthony, she would have been trapped in a prison forever. At least with Anthony, Damara was loved.
But Iris had no such horrible upbringing, and as Loretta had rightly mentioned, Iris didn’t concern herself with the opinions other people had about her. Celia wasn’t sure if Iris would even listen to her. Between the two of them, Loretta had always been more likable because Loretta knew when to keep quiet about things.
Ladies like her who were outspoken tended to upset people more easily, something Celia didn’t think was all that fair since gentlemen didn’t mind saying whatever they wanted without any serious consequences. Gentlemen could say the most outrageous things and get away with it. A lady, however, could ruin her reputation if she did the same things they did.
Nonetheless, the double standard didn’t release Celia from the dilemma over what was right. She still had to consider Loretta’s words.
“I know it’s not easy for you to admit when you’re wrong,” Loretta began, her voice soft, “but forgiving others and asking for forgiveness relieves you of the harmful feelings you’re carrying around. Celia, do you honestly want to go through the rest of your life hating Iris?”
“I rarely think about her.”
“But when you do, it’s not all that pleasant, is it?”
“No, it’s not,” Celia admitted.
“I’m not asking you to apologize to her today. I’m only asking that you think about it.”
“All right. I’ll think about it.”
Since Loretta seemed happy with her answer, Celia decided to end that particular topic there. She would consider it, but she wouldn’t do so right now. At the moment, she was far more interested in making plans for her group, especially how she could make it better than Lady Eloise’s group.
Picking up a scone, Celia asked, “If you could change anything about Ladies of Grace, besides the fact that Lady Eloise felt it was all right to sleep with our husbands, what would it be?”
As Loretta answered, Celia bit into her scone and made notes in her mind to reference in the future.
Chapter Twelve
Celia’s foot tapped the rug beneath her feet as she sat in the drawing room of her brother’s townhouse. Now that she had Loretta’s consent to invite Damara to her group, she didn’t dare hesitate to do so. Lady Eloise had a way of charming people if she wanted to, and there was no doubt she wanted Damara in her group more than any other lady in London. If Celia could talk Damara into joining her group instead, then she’d start with a huge advantage over Lady Eloise.
From the hallway, she became aware that her brother and Damara were talking to each other.
“She’s going to try to talk you into letting her come back here to live,” Anthony said, his voice not nearly as low as he assumed since Celia heard him despite his hushed tones.
Damara, on the other hand, did watch how loud she was since Celia couldn’t make out her response.
“I read the missive she sent me on her wedding day,” Anthony countered, “and all she did was try to make me feel guilty. She does nothing but manipulate people.”
Celia frowned. Was that what he thought of her? That she went around manipulating others to do her bidding? If she’d been able to do that, her scandal would have been successful. Or, better yet, she would have been able to convince Corin to propose marriage to her. Not that she would do so now since she preferred Sebastian, but back then, she certainly would have.
“I can hear you, Anthony,” Celia decided to call out before he made a bigger fool of himself. “You never did learn how to adequately whisper when someone was in another room.”
She got to her feet as Damara entered the room, Anthony at her heels.
“You’re not coming back here,” Anthony told Celia as he hurried over to her. “Your home is with your husband.”
“I’m not here to talk to you,” Celia replied, crossing her arms. “I came to talk to my sister-in-law.”
“She’s not letting you come back here, either,” he said.
“If you can’t get him to stop, then I insist we talk somewhere else,” Celia told Damara.
Damara put her hand on Anthony’s arm. “She’s not going to ask to come back here to live.”
“What makes you think that?” Anthony asked, turning to her.
“There are no trunks,” Damara replied, gesturing to the area around them.
“I wouldn’t live under the same roof with you if you had the only townhouse in London,” Celia told her brother. “Your betrayal is more than I can bear.”
“My betrayal?” he pointed to himself. “My betrayal? What you did to Corin was a betrayal. What you did to Damara by pretending to be her friend so you could pry into her past was a betrayal.”
Celia gasped. “I have apologized to Damara for all of that, and I have been sincere in my friendship to her ever since. You can’t hold that slight indiscretion against me.”
“Anthony,” Damara interrupted when he opened his mouth to protest, “let me talk to her. She doesn’t want to live here. She only wishes for a moment of my time.”
“Yes, that’s exactly what I want,” Celia agreed, thankful that Damara wasn’t irrational like her brother was. “I don’t want to live anywhere near you, Anthony. Not after you forced me into a marr
iage I didn’t ask for. I would rather live with Loretta and her husband.”
Anthony narrowed his eyes at her. “Is that what you’re doing?”
“The moment I became the captain’s wife,” Celia began, “I was no longer under your authority. What I do or don’t do is no longer your concern.”
“She’s going to be the aunt of our child,” Damara said. “Don’t say something you will later regret.”
Celia watched him, wondering if he would protest, but then he groaned.
“Fine,” he told Damara. “You can talk to her. But if she says one thing about moving back here, I’ll carry her back to Lord Erandon myself.”
Celia rolled her eyes but decided not to comment.
After Anthony stormed out of the room like a little boy having a temper tantrum, Damara turned to her and offered her an apologetic smile. “Try not to let him worry you. He will forgive you for the scandal. It’s just going to take some time.”
“He should be worried about whether or not I’ll forgive him,” Celia replied as she sat on the settee next to Damara. “But I didn’t come here to put you in the awkward situation of having to admit I’m right. We both know what Anthony did was wrong, but like any gentleman, he thinks his way is best.”
“He didn’t have you marry Sebastian because he wanted to punish you,” Damara said.
“He did it to get rid of me. And he got his wish. He did get rid of me. He doesn’t have to worry about me interfering with his life anymore.” She cleared her throat and continued before Damara could answer. “But that doesn’t mean you and I can’t talk to each other. As you pointed out, I am the aunt of your unborn child.” She glanced down, noting that Damara was only barely showing. “How is my nephew or niece?”
Damara patted her stomach. “Good. So far.”
“I’m glad. I fully intend to spoil him or her. I always dreamt of being a mother or an aunt. My brother doesn’t know this about me, but I love children. They’re adorable in their little outfits, and they have such a sweetness about them.”
“You love children?”
She nodded. “I didn’t know my own parents very well. They were nothing like yours. Yours are horrible. Mine were kind, but I rarely ever saw them. They had important things to do. Anthony and our grandparents said they were doing missionary work. They did what they felt led by God to do. Unlike them, I feel led to stay in London and be with my own children or with my nephew or niece. I want them to get to know me.”
“That’s lovely, Celia. I had no idea you felt that way.”
“I do. My grandparents were wonderful, but I often wished I had known my parents better. Not that I’m complaining. They had their own work to do.”
“As you mentioned,” Damara said.
“But I’m not here to talk about them,” Celia replied and turned to face her. “I came because I have decided to start a brand new elite group only for ladies. Loretta is already a part of it, and I’d like to invite you to join, too.” Then, with a smile that she hoped would soften her to the idea, Celia added, “You are my sister-in-law, and though we didn’t have the best of beginnings, I hope you know that you are my friend.”
“I don’t understand. You’re already a member of an elite group.”
“Oh, that.” Celia waved her hand and laughed. “Ladies of Grace is not worth discussing.” She couldn’t tell Damara what Lady Eloise had done to Loretta. Such a thing would betray Loretta’s confidence. Plus, it would probably embarrass her. “I would rather have my own group. This way, I can do things the way I want instead of worrying about someone else’s rules. For instance, I don’t mind if you associate with Lady Steinbeck. You wouldn’t have to feel like your loyalties were divided between me and her.”
“You’ve never made me feel that way.”
“I’m glad to hear that.”
Because Celia had tried to be careful about that. It hadn’t been easy to see Damara and Iris in the drawing room together or coming back from a social occasion, but she had managed to keep her mouth shut because she knew how important Iris was to Damara. It was nice to know her efforts had paid off.
Celia cleared her throat. “I know Lady Eloise relented somewhat in what she’d allow between you and Lady Steinbeck, but I want you to know that there would be no such limitations with me. We can even invite her into the group if you desire.”
She had hoped that would be the thing that’d spark Damara’s interest, but Damara, just like Loretta, asked, “Is that a good idea since you don’t like Lady Steinbeck?”
“My feelings for Lady Steinbeck have nothing to do with this.” Then, as an afterthought, she added, “Do you think she might not want to join because she doesn’t like me?”
Damara hesitated to answer. Celia knew her sister-in-law was so nice that she refused to tell anyone what she was thinking if it was unpleasant, but Celia needed to know the truth. Damara spent a good deal of her time with Lady Steinbeck.
“Damara, I like you,” Celia said. “Granted, I wasn’t sincere to you when we first met. But since then, I thought we established a good relationship. I’m not as close to you as I am with Loretta, and you’re not as close to me as you are with Lady Steinbeck. That’s all right. My brother is closer to Corin than he is with Mr. Jasper and Lord Steinbeck. We all have people we naturally draw closer to than others. I expect that your first loyalties will be to Lady Steinbeck. But even so, I hope you feel comfortable enough with me to tell me the truth.”
Damara set her teacup down, and after a moment, she said, “You don’t handle the truth well.”
“Sure, I do. Loretta tells me things I don’t want to hear all the time, and I still think of her as my dearest friend.”
“If you handled the truth well, then you would have listened when Loretta and Anthony told you that Corin didn’t want to marry you. Even Corin told you, and you still tried to trap him in a marriage.”
Celia’s face grew warm. Had it really been like that? She had been certain that Corin had wanted to be with her. He seemed attentive when she talked to him. He had danced with her at the balls. He had come over often to visit, and if she happened to come into the room while he was talking to her brother, he had taken the time to talk to her.
Except, he had never seemed comfortable with her. At the time, she had assumed he was shy because he was excited to be around her. But what if he hadn’t been shy? What if he had only been polite? What if, out of his friendship to Anthony, he’d merely tolerated her?
“Celia, are you all right?” Damara asked as she grabbed the cup from Celia before Celia dropped it.
No. It couldn’t be. All this time, she couldn’t have been so wrong. And yet…and yet… What if she had been?
Damara rose to her feet. “Maybe I should get the smelling salts. You look like you’re about to faint.”
Celia finally brought her attention back to Damara. “No, don’t be silly. I’m fine.”
She glanced at the half-eaten scone in her hand. She no longer had an appetite, so she put it on the tray. Damara studied her for a moment, and hoping to reassure her that she wasn’t going to faint, she patted the spot next to her.
“I’m fine,” she told Damara. “I just had to think something through, that’s all.”
It would do no good to dwell on Corin. It wouldn’t change anything. She was with Sebastian now, and he was with Lady Hedwrett. More and more, it was looking to be like the best thing that had happened to them both.
Celia cleared her throat. “If you think we shouldn’t invite Lady Steinbeck to the group, just let me know.”
“I don’t think we should invite Lady Steinbeck to the group.” Then she winced as if she expected Celia to be upset.
Celia, on the other hand, wasn’t surprised by the answer since Iris didn’t like her. “If we don’t invite her, does that mean you won’t join?”
Damara glanced at the tray in front of them then turned her gaze back to her. “I’ve been honest with you. Now I ask you to do the same with me. D
o you only want me in the group because it’ll mean you have gained an advantage over Lady Eloise?”
“It’s one of the reasons,” Celia admitted, “but it’s not the only one. You are my sister-in-law and a friend. Plus, you’re married to my brother, and he has a good reputation in the Ton. People would approve of you.”
“In that case, let me think it over.”
Celia frowned. She had hoped Damara would say yes right away, but she shouldn’t be surprised. If Damara hadn’t jumped at the chance to be in Ladies of Grace, then Celia could hardly expect her to do the same for her group. She should be happy with the fact that Damara hadn’t come right out and said no like she’d done with Lady Eloise.
“Is that all you wish to discuss?” Damara asked.
“No. I’d like to also talk about what’s new with you. Has anything happened since we last saw each other?”
“We saw each other two days ago when you got married,” Damara teased. “I’m afraid not much has happened since then.”
Celia smiled. “I didn’t know you had a sense of humor. You seem so serious all the time.”
“I have my moments.”
“You should have more of them.” After a moment, she continued, “I was wondering if you know which lady in Ladies of Grace is secretly friends with Lady Steinbeck.”
Celia held her breath and waited to see if Damara would tell her. She was sure Damara knew. Being as close to Lady Steinbeck as she was, she had to have either seen or heard something.
Damara took a sip of her tea then lowered the cup to her lap. “I can’t disclose anything private.”
Drat. Celia was hoping she would, but she knew better than to press Damara for the information. Loretta would have told her if she knew, but Loretta shared confidences that she wasn’t supposed to because she and Celia were closer than sisters. She had no such tight connections with Damara, and even if she had, she suspected that Damara’s moral code would prevent her from saying anything.
“Well, I had to try to find out,” Celia replied.
Anthony passed by the room, glancing in as if he was afraid Celia was trying to convince Damara into letting her move back in. Celia waited to see if he would turn around in the hallway and walk right in front of the room again, and sure enough, he did.
Taming The Viscountess Page 12
