They ate without acknowledging the other’s presence. Only after they had eaten two helpings apiece did Ashley carefully place her cup back on the table and look at him.
“I want to apologize for my very rude behavior earlier. There was no excuse for what I said to you. You have been doing everything in your power to protect me, and I have done nothing but give you a bad time. It isn’t fair. It isn’t right, and I hope that you will forgive me.”
“There’s nothing to forgive, Ashley. You have the right to express your opinions, which I believe you did, quite succinctly.”
Her face flushed, but she didn’t drop her gaze. “I guess I’ve behaved so badly because I’ve never been around anyone like you. I find you very unnerving. And when you snubbed me the other night at the dance—”
“Snubbed you? What are you talking about?”
“When you didn’t want to dance with me.”
“I did dance with you. You’re the one who walked off the dance floor. Not me.”
She looked down at her empty bowl for several seconds before she shrugged and said, “I guess it doesn’t matter. You were so friendly with everyone else and seemed to enjoy dancing with Erin and Trish. But with me…well, it was obvious to me you didn’t want to dance with me, and it hurt my feelings. Somehow I thought that we’d managed to break through the barrier between us. You’d actually been a little friendly toward me earlier in the day. I guess I had some expectations that you didn’t meet that night, so I acted like a brat.”
“I certainly didn’t mean to hurt you, Ashley, and if I did, then I owe you an apology.”
She tried to smile and her bottom lip trembled slightly. “Have you heard anything about my family?”
“Oh! You’re supposed to call Washington. I meant to have you call as soon as you were awake.”
“I really needed to eat before I did anything else. Does that mean they’ve located them?” she asked hopefully.
“I’ll let the VP fill you in on the details.” He hit the speed-dial number for the detail leader and spoke to Greg Chambers, then handed the phone to Ashley.
In a moment she greeted Jason Freeman and asked if there was any news from her family. She was quiet as she listened to a lengthy response.
Nick got up and began to gather their dishes in order to give her some privacy.
She wasn’t saying much, he noticed. Each question must be receiving full answers.
Ashley finished the call and handed the phone back to Nick. She quickly wiped her eyes and left the room. He decided to give her some time to adjust to the latest news she’d been given.
Besides, he needed to adjust to her apology. Damn, he really hadn’t meant to hurt her. He’d been trying to protect himself and his own feelings, using his job as a barrier between them. Ron had tried to warn him that he was being rude, and he hadn’t listened. So his own behavior was now coming back to haunt him.
She’d had the courage to admit why she’d behaved toward him as she had. He wondered if he had the courage to admit to her that his behavior toward her had been triggered by his own attraction to her.
Chapter 11
Nick paused in the archway to the great room. The room was in shadow. Moonlight filtered through the east window, casting a silhouette of bare tree limbs across the floor. The only other light came from the flickering flames of the fire. The scent of the burning wood wafted to him from across the room, bringing with it a sensory reminder of his past.
Ashley knelt in front of the fireplace, adding small pieces of wood to the increasing flames with the kind of intensity generally reserved for meticulously detailed occupations. Brain surgery came to his mind.
Nick could feel his nerves jumping. The two of them were in an intimate environment together. Despite what she’d said to him earlier, she’d also admitted that she had hoped, once, that they could be friends.
What he felt for her could hardly be described as friendly. The woman had managed to get under his skin like no other woman had. He couldn’t understand how one person could throw his emotions into such turmoil so quickly. His emotions bounced around like a yo-yo on a string whenever he was in her vicinity.
What in the world was he going to do about her?
Nick shoved his hands in his pockets and entered the room, suddenly understanding how Daniel must have felt when he entered the lions’ den. When she heard him behind her, she quickly wiped her cheeks with her fingers before she turned and attempted a watery smile.
“Your family has a lovely place here. Has it been in the family long?” From the light tone of her voice, they could have been having afternoon tea together and she was attempting to put him at ease by choosing a neutral subject.
She looked back at the fire and she furtively wiped her eyes.
He knew she was hurting and he wished he knew what to say to her for reassurance. She’d been right. They hadn’t taught him too many social-communication skills when he’d gotten into this business. So maybe he’d just follow her lead.
He sat down at one end of the sofa and took off his boots before responding.
“Actually it has,” he finally said, looking around the room that held so many pleasant memories for him. “My grandfather had it built some time ago,” he continued when he saw her shoulders relax slightly. “We’ve modernized it as much as possible. If it had been up to us, I think we would have picked a place a little more accessible. My grandfather was more of a hermit. After my grandmother died, he just walked away from everything and everyone and spent most of his remaining years up here alone.”
Ashley quietly blew her nose before saying, “No doubt without electricity or running water.”
He smiled, remembering the fuss over that. “True. My mother absolutely refused to spend any time here until Dad got the electrical company to run lines to the place. That took a great deal of talking on his part, let me tell you. I think he was ready to personally pay each man a bonus if they’d get the lines run so we could spend our summers up here. He also had the septic system installed so we could have indoor plumbing. My grandfather already had the well here, but we had the electric pump put in for running water.” He hadn’t thought about all that in years.
Ashley curled her legs beneath her and faced him. She looked very much at home there, which he found more than a little unnerving. He had a sudden flash of insight that almost paralyzed him—his family would fall in love with this woman without hesitation.
A fine time to have that thought sneak up on him!
The faint scent of her floral fragrance teased him, and the light from the fire gilded her in a warm rosy glow.
Say something, he thought to himself. The only thought that came to mind was much better left unsaid—such as telling her how beautiful she looked sitting there, her dark hair tumbling around her shoulders, her pale skin making the tips of his fingers tingle with the need to touch her.
Nick gazed into the fire, willing himself to think of anything other than his response to the woman he was supposed to be protecting.
He didn’t know how long they sat there in silence before she finally said, “After speaking with Vice President Freeman, I understand that you and I are going to be in each other’s company for a while longer.”
He’d been fighting these feelings ever since he met her.
“Um, yes.” He cleared his throat. “I want you to know how very sorry I am that—”
She stopped him with a small wave of her hand. “Please don’t. I’d rather not talk about the reasons we’re here. What I was hoping was to use our time together, for whatever length that’s going to be, to get better acquainted.”
He hoped his reaction to her innocent suggestion didn’t show on his face.
She smiled, a conciliatory smile that warmed him despite the warning bells going off inside of him. “We got off to a bad start, I’m afraid,” she said. “I’m perfectly willing to accept the blame for that. I can only tell you that I’ve never been so rude to anyone as I’ve been to
you, and you never did anything to warrant my behavior.”
“It doesn’t matter,” he replied gruffly.
She stared into the fire for several minutes before looking at him again. “I was hoping you would share a little about yourself with me. Don’t you think it would make the time we spend together a little more comfortable if I knew you better?”
Whoa. That was the last thing he’d expected her to say. She was trying to find a middle ground somewhere between them where they could function together. He appreciated it more than he could say.
She was being very honest, forthright, and he knew that he could do no less. He shifted so that he faced her, his knee resting on the sofa. He propped his elbow on the back of the sofa and rested his head against his hand.
“If you really want to get to know me, then I need to begin with an explanation.”
Her eyes seemed to widen slightly as she watched him intently. “All right.”
This was every bit as hard to say as he’d expected it to be. He wished he’d brought something from the kitchen to drink. His throat was so dry he could scarcely swallow. “About the other night…and the way I danced with you,” he began.
She immediately stopped him. “Oh, please. You’ve already apologized, and even that wasn’t necessary. I was the one acting childish.” She sounded amused, only her eyes didn’t reflect her tone. He saw a hint of pain in their golden depths.
“I never should have danced with you in the first place,” he said baldly. “I should have lied and said something about my job description not including dancing. You mentioned that I danced with the others with more enjoyment. It wasn’t that I enjoyed dancing with them more. It’s that I could relax a little with them. I couldn’t allow myself to relax with you.”
She frowned. “I’m not that bad of a dancer, am I?”
He was saying this all wrong. He didn’t want her to feel worse.
He shook his head, feeling his frustration level rising. “You’re one hell of a dancer, and you know it.” He rubbed his jaw, searching for words. “My problem with you, Ashley, is that the only way I can do my job is to stay detached from you. Having my arms around you shoots my objectivity all to hell.”
She looked at him in surprise. “I’m sorry, but I’m afraid I’m not following you here.”
Well, hell. Maybe his communication skills were nonexistent. The thing was, he didn’t want to have to explain any more than that. Surely she could understand about being detached and objective.
Now he was definitely feeling cornered. He’d started this explanation. He had to finish it. He sighed. There was no way out for him on this one.
He leaned closer. Watching her intently, he said, “All right. I’ll lay it out for you.” He paused, took a big breath and said, “I’m attracted to you.”
She stared at him blankly, her eyes wide.
“Very attracted,” he added. “I’ve been battling this thing ever since I was assigned to you. I’ve been fighting it, but I’m afraid I haven’t done a very good job of conquering the attraction. I’m supposed to be protecting you. I’m not supposed to allow any personal feelings I may have for you to affect me at all. I knew better than to dance with you. As soon as I put my arms around you, I knew I’d made a really bad decision.”
He watched her intently. “Now do you understand?”
Her face softened and she moved closer to him, so that his knee now rested against her thigh. “You’re attracted to me?” she repeated wistfully, her voice scarcely above a whisper.
He reached over and brushed his knuckles against her cheek. He smiled and touched a tendril of her hair with his finger. “Oh, yes, ma’am, I am.”
She rested her head against his hand, which lay along her cheek. He shifted once again so that he could put his arms around her, something he’d been aching to do again since they’d stopped dancing so abruptly the night before.
With a slight tug he managed to move her so that her head rested on his shoulder. He wrapped his arms loosely around her. She tilted her head back so that she could see his face, her eyes filled with wonder. “I find that more than a little hard to believe, considering everything that has happened between us since we met.”
He grinned, unable to resist stroking her hair. “Let’s just say we certainly do strike sparks off each other.” Once again he touched her cheek, gliding his fingers back and forth over the satiny surface.
“So that when you were being so…so…”
“Arrogant and egotistical?” he offered helpfully.
“I was thinking more along the lines of stiff and formal,” she said, blushing.
“I had to keep forcibly reminding myself of all the rules and regulations that I was contemplating breaking. It’s a breach of trust and borders unethical behavior for me to feel what I feel. It’s probably stepping over that line to be telling you now. However, considering our circumstances, I figure I owe you an explanation for my behavior.”
He swallowed and looked into the fire. “I want you to know that I’m sorry you’ve found me arrogant and egotistical and all those things you called me…”
She reached up and touched his jaw, causing his pulse to leap. “Please don’t remind me of the things I said. I didn’t mean them. Not really.” She turned so that her breasts now brushed his chest. “As long as we’re being truthful here, I have to admit that my behavior was probably based on the hope that I could provoke you out of your stern, efficient demeanor. What you should have done was to treat me like the spoiled brat I was being by turning me over your knee.”
“There were definitely times when I was tempted.”
“Like now?” she whispered, touching her lips to his mouth in a tender caress.
Oh, yes. He was absolutely tempted to do all kinds of things to her and with her, and the temptation she offered to him now was too strong for him to resist. He lost himself in the feel of her delectably soft mouth opening beneath his. He groaned and gathered her closer. This was what he’d been so afraid of, now that they were alone. He couldn’t take advantage of the situation. He needed to…hold her for a little longer, taste her and lose himself in the wondrous response she offered him.
When he finally forced himself to lift his head, they were both having trouble breathing. “See what I mean?” he managed to say. “I lose all reason when I’m around you.”
She placed a small kiss on his jaw, another one on his cheek. “I can’t tell you how happy I am to hear you say that.” She melted into him and gave him another soulful kiss.
This was getting out of hand. He lifted his hands and settled them on her shoulders in an effort to create some distance between them. His mouth didn’t follow suit. Instead, it clung to hers as though starving for the connection.
She ran her hand across his chest in a sensuous move guaranteed to make him forget everything but loving her. He finally forced himself to break the kiss, fighting to hang on to his sanity. It was hard enough to fight himself. It was next to impossible to fight both of them.
“Ashley,” he managed to say. “We can’t do this.”
She opened her eyes very slowly and looked at him. Her eyes glowed and her mouth looked thoroughly kissed. “What?” she asked innocently. “We’re just getting better acquainted. Didn’t we agree that would be a good thing?”
“Have you ever heard the saying about too much of a good thing?”
“No, but I’m certainly willing to find out what that would be,” she said, and slid her arms around his neck. He didn’t fight the kiss. However, when he realized several minutes later that they were now stretched out side by side on the sofa, their bodies pressed together from chest to thigh, he knew that if he didn’t call a halt to this right now, they were not going to stop.
He pulled away from her and sat up, then stood, forcing himself to walk over to the window and look outside. He had to get his mind on something else—anything else—other than the woman with whom he was very close to making love.
His body was
calling him all kind of names, demanding to return to Ashley and all she offered. He sternly resisted, concentrating on all that very cold snow outside that could cool off his overheated system.
The moon was making its way across the sky, lending its light to the snow that had draped itself over every surface. There were no tracks now leading to the cabin, nor were there any lights that would proclaim anyone was there. Outside of the smoke from the chimney, the place would look deserted to anyone who might be in the area.
Should anyone happen to investigate, he could honestly report that his family owned the place and he was checking to see that everything was all right. Of course there was no reason to believe that anyone would be interested enough to—
He’d been focusing so hard on anything outside of the room that he hadn’t been aware Ashley had moved until he felt her brush against his back in a tantalizing move. She leaned into him, the length of her body pressed against him, her arms snug around his waist.
He couldn’t have moved if his life depended on it. He could feel the heat of her. His hard-won victory over his body during these past few minutes was lost. He returned to rigid and aching in seconds. If she allowed her hands to drop even a few inches, she’d be in no doubt of his condition.
She rubbed her cheek against the back of his sweater, very much like a kitten seeking attention. He could feel her breasts pressing against him with every breath she took.
“I think I’ll go on to bed, Nick,” she said softly. “Does it matter which bedroom I choose?”
“Th-that’s a good idea. I know how tired you must be.” He placed his hands on top of hers and gave them a gentle squeeze. “I put your bag in the first bedroom at the top of the stairs.”
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