Kanemore sighed. “Lord Yamada, sometimes it is wretchedly inconvenient being your friend.”
The next day we were preparing to return to the city when Nidai came to me and bowed low. “Thank you for sparing Lady Snow’s life.”
I grunted. “I do not think she is as grateful as you are. What will you do now?”
“I do not know. Prince Kanemore has offered to take me into his service. Yet . . . ”
“I know. Whatever she may be: nun, asobi, or Lady of the Court, you do not wish to leave Lady Snow. Understand this, Nidai-kun—she is leaving you. Where she is going now, you cannot follow. You may visit from time to time. If you continue your education as Prince Kanemore will arrange, and if Lady Snow would approve, then you may learn to write letters to her with proper poems included. I think you should. I think she would like that. But that is all you can do. I think you will serve her best now by doing well and not disgracing her instruction.”
He smiled. “Yet now I must serve her in at least one more matter—she wishes to see you before you leave, Lord Yamada,” he said. “Will you come?”
I thought about it. “I do not think I should. But I will.”
Nidai led me to the main hall and then withdrew. I found the woman I had known as Lady Snow kneeling in prayer there in the plain garb of a nun. She turned as she heard me approach and lowered the hood of her robe.
“I really was an asobi, for a time,” she said. “I had the skills, and I did not mind the duties. Yet there was too much chance of meeting someone I knew or who knew me. I thought I would be safe under the veil, even so near as Enryaku-ji. Foolish, wasn’t it?”
“You wished to see me?” I said.
Her smile was hesitant, like a flower uncertain of its blossom. “No, but I did not think I could let you go without an apology. Though any apology seems inadequate considering what I tried to do to you . . . and for what I succeeded in doing.”
“You told me the truth, believing it was a lie. Now you know that truth, and I know my father’s honor was falsely taken yet can never be restored. I think it’s fair to say Lord Sentaro has had a measure of revenge on us both.”
“And what of your revenge on me, Lord Yamada? I behaved foolishly. First I broke my vows with you, and then I betrayed you. I thought my reasons were good, that I understood what I was doing . . . clearly, this was not the case. Why did you let me live?”
“Because once I had a dream of a young girl who died too soon. She offered me tea and then asked me to be kind to her sister, who was in pain. As there was little else I could do for her, I did not want to refuse.”
She did not look at me. “And that is the only reason?” she asked.
It wasn’t and I think she knew it, but nothing would or could be said of that now. “It is reason enough. I took your ignorance, as I said I would. I have no need of your life, Lady Snow, but I think you might still have some use for it.”
The tears had returned to her eyes. “Why?”
“So that you can still have what you say you wanted. A choice.” I nodded at her shaved head. “Does this mean you’ve made that choice?”
She smiled a wan smile. “As you said, ‘choices have consequences.’ I have made too many bad ones. I must pray for my poor sister for as long as I can, as well as for Kiyoshi. I have failed them both, and yet I must try to live so I may yet atone for what I have done. I do not know if I have the strength.”
“Then I think you’ve chosen more wisely now than you have in the past. May you find that strength, Lady Snow. And if you have any left over . . . ”
“Yes?”
Distracted by a sudden memory, I did not answer right away.
Death is easy, Lord Yamada. What comes after is the difficult part.
Seita’s words came back to me and for a moment I was once more staring into Hell. I looked away.
“I once had a rather unusual associate. His name was Seita, and he sacrificed a great deal on my behalf. If you have any reason to think well of me in the years to come, please pray for him as well.”
I wanted to add “pray for me, too” but I think Lady Snow had more than enough of a burden to carry as things were. We left Kenji and Nidai behind to see that Master Dai-wu and Lady Snow were cared for until they were strong enough to decide for themselves what paths to take. Perhaps Lady Hoshiko would come to terms with herself. Perhaps Master Dai-wu would become, arguably, the greatest caretaker Enryaku-ji had ever known; or perhaps one or both of them would still choose suicide. I did not know.
I tried not to care.
Nidai had a place with Prince Kanemore, if he chose to take it. I rather thought he would, though for a while and perhaps for the rest of his life part of his mind and heart would be at Enryaku-ji.
For my part, as soon as we returned to the city I took my leave of Prince Kanemore and returned to my rooms at the Widow Tamahara’s. From there I went directly to the wine shop in the front, and I proceeded to drink; one jar after another, just as in times past. The Widow Tamahara approached me at one point and I simply smiled.
“The rent, Tamahara-san. I have not forgotten. Soon, I promise.”
But not that night, nor for many others after it. For a time I tried to forget everything: Princess Teiko, Lady Snow, Lord Sentaro, Hell. When that didn’t work, I used the drink instead to help convince myself that all the things I desperately needed to believe were actually true.
I tried to believe Princess Teiko had been right to do as she did, that Prince Kanemore and myself had fought in a righteous cause and helped her accomplish a fine thing, a noble thing, and history would prove it so. First, in the continued decline of the power and influence of the Fujiwara, and second in the glory to come in the reign of Crown Prince Takahito, one day to be known to generations now unborn as his Imperial Majesty, Sanjo II.
My son.
Glossary of Terms
asobi: A female entertainer, often also a courtesan.
baka: A general insult. Usually translated as “idiot,” but with connotations of being uncouth and wild, like an animal.
eejean: Literally, “beautiful person,” usually applied to a female.
boshi: A hat.
bushi: A warrior. Later this would refer to samurai specifically.
emishi: An indigenous people usually identified with the modern Ainu.
gaijin: Literally “outside person,” a foreigner.
Genji Monogatari: The Tale of Genji. Written by a court lady in the tenth century. Widely considered to be the first novel.
geta: A type of wooden sandal.
gigaku: A type of dance/drama performance, believed to have been imported from Korea in the seventh century, but now extinct.
hakama: Loose-fitting trousers.
hashi: Chopsticks.
-hime: Honorific for a high-ranking female, usually a princess.
hojo: The abbot or chief priest of a Buddhist temple.
ikiryo: A “living ghost,” essentially an aspect of an individual that detaches itself from that person to attack a romantic rival or enemy. Mentioned in The Tale of Genji by Murasaki Shikibu.
inazuma: A flash of lightning.
junihitoe: Literally, “twelve-layer robe.” A formal style of clothing worn by ladies of the court.
kami: A divine spirit, roughly equivalent to a god.
kami-no-ku: The “upper phrase,” or first three lines, of a tanka.
kampai: Equivalent to “cheers!” before a drink.
kana: A native script for informal use, as opposed to the more formal Chinese kanji.
kanji: Chinese logographic characters, used for formal documents in the Heian period.
kesa: A priest’s mantle.
kimono: Literally “wear thing.” Clothes.
koi: A type of carp prized for their beautiful coloring.
koto: A traditional Japanese stringed instrument, similar to the Chinese zheng.
matsu: Refers both to a type of cup and the wood used to make it, the pine tree.
mon: A family crest or symbol.
neko-rei: Literally, “cat ghost.”
ohayo: Informal, “good morning.” A greeting.
oneesama: Formal, one’s elder sister.
oni: A specific type of dangerous monster, equivalent to the Western ogre.
onibi: Ghost lights. Small will-o’-wisp-type flames that signify the presence of ghosts.
rei: Ghost/spirit.
sakura: Cherry blossom.
-sama: Honorific, usually reserved for someone of high social status.
samurai: The warrior class of Japan. It became dominant after the Heian period.
-san: Honorific, showing respect to the person addressed.
shide: A paper streamer used in Shinto rituals. It can also refer to a priest.
shikigami: Artificial creatures created by magic to do the magician’s will.
shimo-no-ku: The “lower phrase,” or last two lines of a tanka.
shoji: A screen made of wooden lattice covered with rice paper.
sugi: Cryptomeria, a kind of evergreen tree.
tachi: A long, thin sword originally designed for use on horseback.
tanka: Classic Japanese poetic form of thirty-one syllables. A longer version of what eventually became the haiku.
tengu: A goblin, often depicted with a long nose or beak and crow’s wings.
yin-yang: A philosophy rooted in both the balance between and interconnectedness of all things: light/dark, male/female, life/death, etc. Probably derived from Daoism via China.
youkai: Generic term for a monster, or pretty much any supernatural creature.
yukata: A lightweight summer kimono.
Suggested Reading
As I Crossed a Bridge of Dreams: Recollections of a Woman in 11th Century Japan, translated by Sarashina and Ivan Morris (Penguin Classics, 1989).
The Confessions of Lady Nijo, translated by Karen Brazell (Stanford University Press, 1973).
The Diary of Lady Murasaki, translated by Richard Bowring (Penguin Classics, 1996).
The Gossamer Years: The Diary of a Noblewoman in Heian Japan, translated by Edward Seidensticker (Tuttle Classics, 1989).
The Pillow Book of Sei Shonagon, translated by Ivan Morris (Columbia University Press, 1991).
The Tale of Genji by Murasaki Shikibu, translated by Edward Seidensticker (Knopf, 1978).
The Tale of the Heike, translated by Helen McCullough (Stanford University Press, 1990).
An Introduction to Japanese Court Poetry by Earl Miner (Stanford University Press, 1968).
A History of Japan to 1334 by George Sansom (Stanford University Press, 1958).
The World of the Shining Prince: Court Life in Ancient Japan by Ivan Morris (Kodansha USA, 1994).
Hyakunin Isshu edited by Fujiwara no Teika, translated by Larry Hammer (Cholla Bear Press, 2011).
About the Author
Richard Parks has been writing and publishing science fiction and fantasy longer than he cares to remember . . . or probably can remember. His work has appeared in Asimov’s, Realms of Fantasy, Beneath Ceaseless Skies, Lady Churchill’s Rosebud Wristlet, and several “year’s best” anthologies. Other adventures featuring Yamada no Goji were collected in Yamada Monogatari: Demon Hunter (Prime Books, 2013). A second novel concerning Lord Yamada, The War God’s Son, will be published by Prime in late 2015. Parks blogs at “Den of Ego and Iniquity Annex #3,” also known as richard-parks.com.
Books by Richard Parks
The Ogre’s Wife
Hereafter, and After
Worshipping Small Gods
The Long Look
On the Banks of the River of Heaven
The Heavenly Fox
Spirits of Wood and Stone
Black Kath’s Daughter
The Blood Red Scarf
A Warrior of Dreams
Our Lady of 47 Ursae Majoris and Other Stories
Ghost Trouble: The Casefiles of Eli Mothersbaugh
The Ghost War
All the Gates of Hell
Yamada Monogatari: To Break the Demon Gate Page 27
