by Naomi Niles
It was still dark.
“What are those called?” I asked him as he took a deep breath.
“Pushups. They’re for arms as well. I exercise every part of my body.” Aidan assured me as I nodded and leaned against the wood of the barn. “I like to be in shape, which is from my time in The Army. Before that, even. I played football in high school as well. I like to be active.”
“I love working on the farm with the animals, but I want more,” I whispered as he looked at me. There was a scuffle in the stalls to the right of me, and I soothed our mare with a calming voice before I looked back at Aidan.
“Tell me what you want,” he said to me as I glanced back at the house and saw a lantern turn on in the kitchen.
“I have to go, they can’t find me out here,” I said as I gave him one last look before running through the door and across the lawn. I hated leaving him, hated being even a building away, but I knew that I could not be found out there with Aidan. I needed to do some thinking tonight.
I made my way back to the door and opened it softly. The washroom was at this end of the house, and I glanced around quickly before I made my way inside and pulled the door closed as I leaned against it. If anyone were to look for me, I would likely not be bothered here. I slipped off my shoes and took a deep breath as I closed my eyes and pictured Aidan in my mind. I knew what I was thinking, and I knew that my family could not tell me no, despite the fact that my choice might break their hearts.
CHAPTER 4
Aidan
I watched her leave as the air left my lungs. I knew that it was best, but I wanted to talk all night with her about this tradition of hers and see her eyes light up with excitement while she talked about all that she wanted to do. I understood that this was similar to being a teenager in a normal household with the usual experimentation, but for Elsa, it was a journey. She was going to see things that she would never see here in her safe surroundings, and I noticed in her body that she craved that. There was a part of me that wanted to urge her just to stay here and stay safe because a lot could happen out there to a sweet innocent girl such as herself.
I thought about the men that she would encounter in her journey, men like me that would want to touch her. I thought about the harm that could come to her and keep her from living life as I paced the floor and walked to the door to look through it.
It was as if she was never here at all. The night was quiet, and the house dark, and I closed the barn door gently before I walked over to the hay bale where the thick pillow and blanket was as I sat down and ran my hands down my leg.
When I was dismissed from the Army, I thought my life was over, and doctors only made me see that more with their diagnosis of cancer. I had lost so much already, and I didn’t see any point in going on until I came here.
I didn’t know what I could do for Elsa, but I knew that I wanted to make her life better. I knew that I wanted to make a difference in her life, if only for a moment.
I sat on the hay and leaned back as I looked out of the small window into the night sky. I felt my mind tormented with thoughts as I reached for my pills and shook two into my hand before I took a swallow of the water that I’d brought out with me. I hoped that they would bring me some peace and some much-needed sleep as I settled back against the pillow and lost myself in the quiet night.
I was dressed in jeans and a button up shirt when I heard the rumble of an engine the following day. I left the barn and took a deep inhale of the fresh morning air as I walked over to the driveway to see a tow truck parked behind my car. “Morning.”
“This is a great car you’ve got here,” the guy said as he looked it over and then looked around slowly. “This is where she broke down, huh? How was that for you?”
“It’s different; that’s for sure,” I admitted as I reached into the car and pulled the handle to crack the hood. “I just lost all power and made it here in this driveway. It’s not like there’s a shop close by and it was near supper time when that happened.”
“It sounds like it could be the battery or some connection to me. Let’s take a look.” The kid was a little younger than me, and he seemed anxious to get under the hood as I gave him a knowing smile. We both leaned over, and I felt eyes on me as we chatted about various aspects of the motor and the car as I tossed a glance towards the kitchen window. I saw someone standing there, and I grinned before I turned back towards the car and continued to talk to the driver.
We determined that it was the battery, and he asked me if I wanted to hop in and go to the shop a few miles away to grab a new one with him. I nodded and gave another look towards the house before I climbed in, and he started the engine.
“Have you heard about their tradition where they get to run off for a time?” I smiled as I remembered Elsa talking about it.
“Yeah, I’ve heard a little about that. I suppose it’s no different that things that other kids do without all of the pomp and circumstances,” I casually replied as I glanced over at him. I’d done plenty of running around with several different women in my life, and I’d seen a lot of things over the years, some of which I’d rather forget. “I reckon that you see a lot of that living around here.”
“Sure have,” he stopped at the light and looked over at me. “These girls are all wide-eyed and eager. Mama raised me to take care of folks, so I never take advantage, but there was one once.” He shook his head. “She was different; you know? I hated to see her go back home, but I’ll never forget her. Do you have anyone like that?”
“I do,” I replied, knowing that Elsa was the one on my mind the most at the moment. “It’s hard to see them go.”
We introduced ourselves to one another at the local car shop, and I found out that his name was Todd and that he’d just turned twenty-one years old. I was already on the front lines by that age, and I took in his soft hazel eyes that hadn’t seen the things that mine had and tried to draw just a bit of his innocence into my veins to feel it for just a moment. We walked inside, and I stepped up to the counter to ask for a battery for my car, which took a few minutes as they scrambled around to my amusement.
You mention a classic car in a room full of testosterone, and they lose their minds. It was always something to see for me. We secured the battery, and I placed it on the seat between us as we headed back to my car. It's been tested there already so I was certain that it was ready to go, which meant that I’d be leaving myself soon.
It was tempting to stay here for a few more days and take in the calm surroundings and a lot more of Elsa. I had a few stops to make over the next week or so visiting so I should just head out this morning. This week of driving the highway Had been one of the most peaceful of my life and staying here appealed to me as much as continuing my journey.
We pulled into the driveway within a few moments, and he got the battery installed and stood back as I started the engine with a smooth turn of the key. It roared to life, and he grinned widely as I shut her down and got out to pay him for the trip out along with a generous tip. I watched Todd drive away with a wistful smile for the country boy that he was and that I knew I would never be.
I headed to the barn for my small bag with the few things that I needed and placed it on the seat of the car as I heard the bell ring for breakfast. It seemed late in the day for that, and I sighed as I started to twirl my keys in my hand.
I was headed to the house to thank them for their kindness as the door opened and Elsa stepped out onto the stoop in a fresh soft yellow dress with her white ruffled apron and bonnet secured to her body. Her hair was pulled into a low bun with the few curls that always seemed to slip out of any hairdo that she had. “Breakfast is ready, Aidan.” She smiled, and I pictured her hair loose around her shoulders as they’d been the night before with a soft smile. “Come on inside and eat something before you head out.” She seemed nervous, and I watched her rock back and forth on her feet before I slipped the keys into my pocket and walked around to lock the doors of the car before I followed her inside.
How could I not? I took in her slim waist and greeted the family as I took the seat beside her for a change with a grin. I saw the look that her brother had given me before he reached for her hand and they said their morning prayer as she rested her soft palm in my large hand.
It felt like everything that I’d ever wanted in my life.
CHAPTER 5
Elsa
I fixed breakfast at the stove and stirred plenty of eggs into the pot with a splash of fresh milk as I watched them cook. I lifted my eyes to look out of the window a few times to see the car hood wide open and the two men looking at it. I longed to go out there and see the engine and be close to Aidan as he worked and I glanced down as Mama entered the room. “Is everything going well in here? Your father has to tend to the animals.” Mama looked out of the window and noted the activity in the driveway. “I suppose it would be fitting to feed Aidan before he leaves today.”
I knew that I could leave as well, and I looked down quickly so she wouldn’t see the temptation on my face.
I pretended to smile and found another pan that I sprinkled the mixture of pork into as it heated up. It was a little sausage and some bacon, and it went well with the eggs and the thick homemade bread with the delicious butter. I didn’t want him to leave, and I spared a glance into the driveway as I watched the guys go to the tow truck and drive away.
I’d never seen one of those close up, and I wondered what all of the stuff on it did. Our lives were simple with our buggy and horse and the most critical part to that was keeping our animals healthy.
I thought about the adrenaline that I felt when I was riding alongside the side of the road, and the cars would race by us as I shivered with fear and excitement. There was always that thought that we might be hit, but I always watched the cars drive by and memorized the colors and the lines of them. I wondered what it would be like to drive one with the music that I’d only heard bits and pieces of on the radio.
Mama made the coffee as I stirred the meat and the eggs. She stacked the bread on a plate and smoothed the butter I’d made that morning into a bowl as she smiled at me. I could see the worry in her eyes and she had no idea what I’d done last night or the thoughts that I’d had. “I love you, Elsa.” I stared at her since she didn’t say a lot most of the time. Mama just took care of all of us, and that’s how we knew that she was so happy with this life.
“I love you, Mama,” I told her as she gave me a hug and squeezed me tightly. We stayed that way for a few minutes before we plated the food and brought it to the table. I walked back to the window to see the men working on the car and then my heart dropped as I heard the engine break the silence of the morning.
This was it. I brought the coffee to the table before I rushed back into the kitchen and saw Aidan walking to the car with his bag before he set it on the seat beside him. I took that moment to step outside and ring the bell for breakfast.
Aidan was walking towards me, and I looked at him with a wide smile. “Breakfast is ready.” I felt the sweat pooling in my hair under my soft bonnet as I felt my hands shaking. “Come on inside and eat something before you head out.” The last words left my mouth in a heavy weight as he slipped the keys in his pocket and stepped forward as I felt myself rock back and forth as I did when I was nervous. He locked the doors of the car as an afterthought and walked towards me as I turned and stepped inside of the house with a nervous flush to my cheeks.
I could see that Daddy and Adam weren’t expecting him since they were sitting in a different place today and I swallowed the lump in my throat as I watched Aidan sit beside me. We raised our hands for the prayer, and I almost whimpered as the heat of his palm covered my small hand. It was warm and rough against my skin, and I had never felt heat like I did coming from Aidan.
I barely heard the words that Daddy said before I reluctantly let go of Aidan and started to pick at my breakfast. It had smelled so good when I was cooking it, but now all I could feel was the lump inside of my stomach as Daddy talked to Aidan about his upcoming travels. I blinked as I felt something touching my ankles over my skirt and raised my eyes to see Aidan smile at me as he talked about the places that he was going to go. It sounded fantastic, and I tore a piece from the bread and tried to take a small bite.
Every time he talked, Aidan looked at me. The feeling that was sweeping over me was overwhelming, and I had trouble doing anything but to stare right back at him. I knew that my family could probably feel this as well, and I tried to pull my eyes away from him as I stared down at my plate.
Was this how Mama felt when she met Daddy?
Was this how Adam felt about Abby?
I’d never seen anything like this between any of them, and I wondered if I was losing my mind.
His feet kept touching my skin, and I knew that I was sweating underneath this dress as I tried to hold myself together. The meal seemed to both drag and move faster as I took a few bites of the food and tried to focus on what Daddy was saying as my head seemed to pound just a little harder. I glanced up at Mama as she gave me a long searching look with her eyes before Aidan said something and I looked at him again.
Time was standing still, and suddenly I sensed that the meal was over. I watched as Mama stood to clear the table and stared at the plate of food that I’d merely pushed around before she urged me with her eyes to stand up and help. Mama and Daddy hated wasting food, and the only reason that they didn’t say anything was due to Aidan being there.
He stood and looked at me before he cleared his throat. “Thank you kindly for your generosity, Isaac. Your cooking is wonderful, and I’ll always appreciate your cooking, Ma’am.” My father started to walk to the front door with him as Mama walked into the kitchen and I stood there.
My heart raced as I knew what I had to do. I walked to the front door behind the men as Mama called my name and went right outside with them. “Elsa, what are you doing?”
Daddy and Aidan were standing near the car as they talked until they heard Mama and stared at me. “Did you want to say goodbye?” Daddy asked me as I swallowed nervously and stared into Aidan’s endless eyes for strength.
“I need to say goodbye…to you. All of you.” There was silence from my family, including my brother who’s joined us outside.
“Elsa, think about this,” Mama told me as she stepped up with sad eyes.
“You all had this chance, and I need it too.” Mama had looked at Aidan before she looked back at me. She wasn’t scared for me to complete a tradition, but I knew that my family feared my leaving with this man. I wasn’t stupid enough to think that they didn’t see our connection. “I want to go for a ride. I need to go somewhere.” I pleaded with Aidan as his eyes softened and he slowly nodded.
My mother looked as though she was going to cry and my father’s face was set in a hard scowl as I looked between them with tears in my eyes. I wanted this so much, but I loved them. “If this is your choice. Take care of her,” Daddy told Aidan with a stern look in his green eyes as his voice trembled.
Adam glared at us as I stepped forward and joined Aidan by the car. “I can’t believe that you’re leaving with him.” His voice was cold, and Mama slipped an arm around his shoulders as he froze under her tough.
“I have to do this. I need to know what I want from life.” I told them as I looked at all of them again. “I love you.”
Aidan waited for my lead to walk to the car before he unlocked the door and opened it for me in the silence that hung around us. I slipped inside after moving his bag to the back seat, and I realized that I was bringing nothing from home with me.
That was the point, wasn’t it?
I had saved a little money from working so hard, and it was tucked inside of the small pocket of my dress. That was what my little allowance had gone to for the past few years. I could get a few things to get me by, and if I ran out of money, I could just come home.
That idea gutted me, and I stared at my family as Aidan walked around to his side of the car. ‘I�
�m going to keep her safe. Don’t worry about that.”
I closed my eyes as he got inside of the car and started it before he pulled out and headed slowly down the road.
CHAPTER 6
Aidan
The car was quiet for a moment before her eyes popped open and she looked over at me. I couldn’t believe this was happening, and I glanced back towards her house in a moment of doubt. “I want to go to an electronics store.”
I stared at her. Women had thrown themselves at me my entire life, and it was no surprise that she was into me, but this woman had just abandoned her family for me, or at least with me. She wasn’t just your average girl. “Electronics store?”
“I’ve never had anything from one. I want a…gadget. I want something new.” Elsa explained as she went on to say that her family and the community never used technology. She explained that they didn’t drink alcohol, wear anything besides these clothes that covered them up, or have sex before they married. I noticed her blush when she said that even with her defiant tone and my body took notice of the fact that she ripped her bonnet off and loosened her hair. “I have some money. If I get to be a burden, I’ll stay in town, but I want just to buy one thing for myself.”
Her curls hung loose and silky around her shoulders, and I licked my lips slowly. “I have money. I am doing fine, so don’t worry. I’d prefer you safe with me than just leaving you behind somewhere.”
“Let’s go to the store then,” Elsa suggested, and I drove into the nearest city where she seemed to take everything in despite the fact that I assumed she’d been here before. Elsa looked at every building with wonder and stared at the cars as I looked around for something that would suit her needs.
“Radio Shack. That should suit your needs just fine.” I parked, and she bounced in her seat for a moment before she hopped out of the car. “I was going to get that for you, you know.” I teased her as she met me at the car as she frowned. “The door. I open doors for ladies.”
