“Don’t lie to me, please,” she whispered.
“That’s just me.”
That didn’t make her feel better at all. “What do you mean that’s just you?”
“I am that guy. I go from 0-60 in two seconds. I can be your best friend or your worst enemy. That’s who I am.” His stomach dropped as he saw the look on her face. For some reason he wanted to impress this woman, and apparently his answers weren’t cutting it. Never before had it mattered to him what a woman thought of what he did. Now, nothing else mattered but what this woman thought.
“Oh.”
Panic welled up in his stomach. In all his life, he’d never scared a woman, and he was confused as to how he had scared Denise. “Don’t do this, don’t be scared of me.”
She got up from the table and walked to the screened-in porch. Hugging her arms around her waist, she looked out into the black of night. Lightening streaked in the distance, and light rain hit the tin roof that covered the porch. The storm building in the atmosphere matched the storm building inside her.
Was she doing the right thing? Should she stay in this situation with this man? Was she too far in to get out? The big question….did she want to leave? For some reason she felt safe in this environment. Much safer than she had felt when she was on her own with her children. It was all so confusing. Denise felt him enter the small area but refused to turn around and face him.
“You’re not used to me and I know that, but you’re going to have to get used to me. I’ve claimed you. If you leave me, which I can tell you’re thinking about doing, you’d have a bull’s-eye on your back. I know you don’t want that for your children.” He felt like a bastard for even saying those words.
She finally turned to face him. “It may sound weird to you, but I feel safe here. In the few days I’ve been here I’ve felt more at home than I did when I was in my own home. Maybe it’s because I don’t have much to worry about here. The only thing that worries me about you, Liam, is the fact that I don’t know how far you would go for your club.”
“What do you mean by that?” he asked, having a seat on the outdoor chaise.
Denise didn’t want to ask this question because she didn’t want to know the answer, but she felt as if it was imperative that she know. “I mean, have you ever killed anybody?”
He swallowed hard. Telling her the truth would mean letting her in on club business, but lying to this woman would break his heart. Liam sighed. Lies were a part of his everyday life, but he didn’t want to lie to her. He wanted whatever relationship they had to be built on trust.
“I could lie to you and tell you I haven’t, but I want you to trust me. I do what I have to do to keep my brothers safe, to protect my club. That has at times meant we’ve had to put someone down. More than once it’s been either them or me. I don’t like telling you this because I know it scares you about me, but I’m not a violent man by nature.”
“I don’t like violent men,” she whispered, gazing at her hands in her lap.
She looked so lost that he wanted to reach out to her. However, he wasn’t sure whether she would welcome it or not. He’d know this woman for mere days, but it felt like forever. They seemed to be cut from the same cloth, yet he knew that she would never be able to kill someone unless they threatened her children. How could he come to her as he was? With blood on his hands?
Gently he questioned, “Did something happen to you?” Suddenly it dawned on him. “Does this have to do with the twins’ dad?”
A hollow laugh echoed from her throat. In the distance, thunder rumbled and lightening flashed across the sky. “You could say that.”
“It’s only fair that you be honest with me, just like I’ve been honest with you.”
Taking a deep breath, she realized he was right. “Their father was a very violent man.”
“Trust me enough to tell me, Denise. We’re never going to get anywhere if you don’t. I’m not letting you go back home, so you may as well just be honest with me. I can’t let you – it could be dangerous.”
She liked this about him, the fact that he was so tenacious. That he didn’t take no for an answer. It tested every instinct she had honed over the last few years. Tears came to her eyes, and she cleared her throat loudly, gathering the strength to begin.
“I met him in high school, senior year to be exact. He was the captain of the football team. I had always been a nerd. More interested in what book was coming out that month than anything else. Books were the most important part of my life at that time. I was painfully shy, and my home life left a lot to be desired. My dad stayed drunk most of the time, and all my mom wanted to do was stay out of his way. He was violent when he drank, and if I had my nose buried in a book, I could stay under the radar when he went off the handle.” She had zoned out as she talked, it was obvious she had transported back to that time. The rain sounded against the house, just like it had that night. Only it wasn’t hitting the tin roof of a trailer, she was now in a home that was well-built and cozy.
“So when the captain of the football team started showing you attention, you were flattered?” Liam supplied for her.
She nodded, tears silently streamed down her face. “But you have to understand how horrible it was at my house.”
The breath she took was heavy and fragile all at the same time, almost like it would break her in half. A loud clap of thunder rattled the house on its foundation. “I walked on egg shells all the time, trying to do what both my mom and dad wanted me to. Matt, the kids’ father, was the answer to my prayers at first. He took me out on dates, took me out to dinner, brought me flowers, and told me he loved me. He invited me to prom, and I finally told my parents we were dating. Miracle of all miracles, my parents told me to go. My dad liked the fact that he was captain of the football team. It was something for him to brag about at the bar when he got wasted. We had been dating for a few months by the time prom rolled around, and I thought that night was going to be incredible.” She stopped, took another shuddering breath, and composed herself.
“Let me guess, prom night wasn’t all that you’d hoped it would be?”
A sad smile spread across her face. “Let me finish. After we spent an amazing night dancing with friends, he told me that he had a surprise for us. He took me to a hotel room. I lost my virginity in the most amazing setting. He was so gentle. It was everything I had always dreamed of. The next day everything changed.”
“How so?” Liam wasn’t sure he wanted to hear this, but knew he had to.
“He became possessive. If I wasn’t home when he expected me to be there, he was pissed. He would scream and yell at me to the point that he and my father came to blows one night. It was the first and only time my dad ever stuck up for me. If I had a male friend, Matt would try to intimidate them. I started withdrawing into myself again, and two months later I found out I was pregnant.”
Liam could guess how it had gone when she’d shared that news with the daddy-to-be. “Matt wasn’t excited was he?”
A hollow laugh came from deep within her. “That’s the understatement of my life. I was tainted goods, and Matt didn’t want the responsibility he was now going to have. Ole Daddy wasn’t too happy either. The night I told Matt, he beat the absolute shit out of me. Of course I had to tell my dad what happened. Instead of being understanding, he kicked me out.”
He grasped her hand, running his hand along her wrist. “It hurts when a parent isn’t understanding, I know.”
She nodded, sobbing as the rain came down in sheets outside. It had been on a night like this that she had walked miles, trying to get someone to help her. “I mean, here I was an eighteen year old kid who just found out she’s going to have a child and who just had the shit beat out of her. I went home expecting my parents to be pissed but hoping that they would welcome me with open arms and tell me that everything would be okay. Instead, my dad packed a bag for me. Me and my broken ribs were thrown out into the mother of all thunderstorms. Kind of like the one toni
ght.”
“How did you survive?”
“How does anyone survive? They just do.”
He had tears in his own eyes as she recounted her story. Denise Cunningham was the strongest person he had ever met in his life. “You had no help. That’s what’s surprising to me. You had twins with no help.” The people who should have cared, they didn’t even give a damn.
“I relied on public assistance for a couple of years. Then I got the job at the factory. That was the most money I had ever seen in my life, and we were able to live very comfortably up until the economy took a nosedive. I was proud of how far I had come, but the downturn caused me to question everything. I had worked so hard to provide for my family, and then we had nothing to show for it besides a stack of bills and a mortgage I couldn’t pay.”
“You should still be proud of how far you’ve come and what you’ve done. Everyone has hard times; it’s how we deal with those hard times that define us.”
In that moment, she wanted badly to kiss him. To show him physically how much those words meant to her, but it had been so long since she had kissed a man. She was nervous that she didn’t remember how to do it.
He made up her mind for her when he gently brought his hand up to cup the back of her neck. His fingers lightly massaged the muscles there before he pressed lightly and leaned towards her, bringing them closer. Their lips met in a light touch. He was patient as he coaxed her lips open before slipping his tongue inside her mouth.
She moaned, placing her arms around his neck, pulling him close. Her tongue stroked his tentatively, as she contemplated what to do with her hands. She had wanted for so long to run her fingers through his hair. Throwing caution to the wind, she let her fingers tangle in his long locks, using it to pull him tighter against her lips. It was as silky and smooth as she had imagined it would be, sliding against her fingers as she fought to hold him tighter.
Moments later they separated, both breathing heavily. He kept his hands at her neck while she continued to twirl the strands of his hair around her fingers, a shy smile breaking over her face.
“That was nice,” she sighed, running her tongue over her wet lips.
A thought occurred to him, causing him to smile widely. Crow’s feet broke at the side of his eyes, evidence of the hours he spent on his bike squinting in the wind and sun. “Is that the first kiss you’ve had in all these years?”
Suddenly shy, she buried her head in his neck. “I was raising children,” she defended, her protest muffled.
He laughed. “Well Denise Cunningham, I think it’s about time we get you back to the land of the living.”
Chapter Sixteen
“You’ll need to wear this,” Liam instructed, handing Denise a helmet.
This was the first time the two of them had ridden his bike for pleasure, and she was a bit nervous. She put the helmet over her head and made sure to strap it at her chin. The night before, when he’d told her it was time for her to join the land of the living, she hadn’t thought he meant so soon.
“This is going to be much different than last time, huh?” he joked.
“No, I loved those bullets flying past my head,” she deadpanned.
He got on and motioned for her to slide on behind him. When she did, he grabbed her thighs and pulled her so that every inch of their bodies touched.
“When you ride bitch, we touch.”
The tone of his voice sent chill bumps up her spine, and she gladly scooted up so that she could wrap her arms around his waist. She made sure to snake her arms under his cut, as close as she could get. The feelings of a new relationship made her want to be as close to him as she could. As they rode she held on tightly, leaning this way and that with his body. They came to a stop too soon. Excitement shot through her as he brought his gloved hand up to rest on hers. It was fleeting, but it was one of those small touches she’d never had before. This whole situation made her feel like a teenager dating someone for the first time. It was new, exciting, and she loved it.
“This is what you meant by getting me back into the land of the living?”
Liam laughed as he swung his leg over the back of his bike and helped her off. “I’m gonna assume you’ve never been to a strip club before. So yeah, this is the land of the living.”
Her eyes were wide as she gazed upon the building in front of them. Wet Wanda’s, the neon flashing sign proclaimed. It was an old building, built in the sixties or seventies vein, and looked like it was built with rock. It was so old the rock looked gray. An hourly motel sat adjacent to it.
“I’m not so sure about this,” she mumbled as she grabbed his hand and followed closely behind.
The bouncer at the door knew him, and Liam lifted his chin in acknowledgement, grasping the bouncer’s hand and shaking it. She barely listened to the words they exchanged, but she was curious when the bouncer waved them in, not even asking for a cover charge.
They entered the belly of the beast, and she couldn’t help but glance around. It was dark in the main part of the building, but she could see that it was very clean. A large stage dominated the room which separated into individual stages amongst the floor with booths around them. Scantily clad women raced back and forth between tables hauling food and drinks. Among the people she could see some of the members of Heaven Hill. She wondered just how often Liam and the guys frequented this establishment.
“You alright?” he asked her.
She nodded as he led them to a booth further back in the room. From there they had a good look at the main stage. In front of them, the table blocked most everyone from looking at them. The vinyl of the leather was clean and comfortable. It was obvious that it was well used, but it was in good condition. Sinking deeply into the booth, she snuggled up close to him. His arm went around her shoulders as he got comfortable. Spreading his knees, he braced his feet on the floor, giving the impression that he was just a man there with his woman.
“I’m okay, this is just different,” she explained, trying to avoid looking at some of the more provocatively dressed women.
A woman walked up to their booth, this one a little bit more covered up than the rest. “How you doin’ Liam?” she asked, giving him a polite smile.
“Not too bad, Bianca. Can I get a beer? Whatever you’ve got on tap.”
“And you honey?” she glanced expectantly at Denise.
That caught her off guard, she wasn’t a big drinker, and she had no idea what ‘tap’ meant. “Sure, same here,” she blurted out.
Liam laughed. “You’re not a drinker are you?”
Her face flamed in embarrassment. “I haven’t really had time to do that.”
His hand stroked her shoulder, causing goose bumps to break out on the skin exposed there. “Do you like Sprite?”
“Yeah.”
Bianca could see where he was going with this. “Do you like Strawberries?” she asked, her eyes twinkling at the exchange between these two.
“They’re my favorite,” Denise admitted, wondering if she’d get herself some strawberries out of this.
“I’ll hook you up with something a lot better than a damn beer. I’ll be right back, y’all.”
Once she was gone, they sat in silence. Liam took in what was going on in the club, and Denise wasn’t sure of how she should act now.
“You come here often?” she blurted.
“In my youth, yeah. Now we work protection for the club. Someone is here every night. We make sure the ladies get out of here safe, and if there’s any problem in here, we take care of it. Most of the women working here are trying to make better lives for themselves. Bianca, our waitress, is in college. She’s damn smart.”
Before she could say anything, the woman they were talking about came back with their drinks. She sat a drink down in front of Denise. “Try that and tell me what you think.”
It was clear, with strawberries in the bottom. It looked carbonated, but she wasn’t sure what this was. Looking at the two of them, she took a sip from th
e small straw that sat in the drink. It had a bit of a bite, but it went down smooth. “That’s good. What is it?”
“Strawberry flavored Vodka and Sprite. Be sure and let those strawberries sit in the bottom and then eat ‘em, but watch it. They’ll be completely full of alcohol.”
Bianca left them to go to another table, and Denise went back to sipping on the drink.
Liam took a drink himself and removed his arm from around her shoulder. “You’re gonna have a good time tonight,” he predicted.
The smooth burn of the drink kept going down her throat and her tongue opened up, telling him things that she hadn’t told anyone else ever. She told him about how lonely she’d felt being the single mother of twins. Bianca kept bringing the drinks. Denise was on number three when she shocked the hell out of him.
“Oh, and have I ever told you how sexy you are? You have this dark, dangerous look about you and the tattoos going up and down that one arm,” she leaned forward so that her lips met his ear. “They get me hot.”
“Holy shit woman, you’ve got to stop drinking now.” He immediately realized how much the alcohol was affecting her. It was nice, but he didn’t want her this way.
He motioned Bianca over. “Hey, get her some water, coffee, something else besides alcohol.” His teeth were clenched, and Bianca laughed, knowing exactly what was going on.
Underneath the booth, her hand rested on his thigh and then curiously went further up, grabbing his package with a firm grip.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” he breathed loudly through his nose. “Don’t start something you won’t finish here. With you, I’m a hair trigger,” he warned.
For the first time, his guard was completely down with her. She gazed into his eyes, seeing the honesty there. He was trying so hard to be a gentleman, to show her that he was different than the only other man she had ever been with. Pulling her hand back, she let it rest on his thigh again.
“Is that okay?”
“You can do that.”
Meant To Be (Heaven Hill Series) Page 9
