“Yes, it does!” Jordan and Nate perused their menus and once the server came they ordered some cocktails and an appetizer. “Thanks for bringing me out to dinner, Nate,” Jordan stated, smiling and readjusting herself in the seat beside him once they’d ordered and the menus were taken away.
“It’s my pleasure.” Nate nodded. “A beautiful woman such as yourself doesn’t need to stay behind a hot stove and a washing machine all day, you know?”
“Oh?” Her auburn eyebrows shot up. “And what exactly is a beautiful woman, such as myself,” she asked, hand splayed over her chest, “supposed to do all day?”
Nate’s face lit up with a cat-with-the-canary grin. “Well,” he started and looked from left to right, tongue between his lips, “I better not say it out loud. These good folks might faint.” With that, Jordan laughed a throaty laugh. “These people don’t use language like that.”
“I bet they don’t use their mouths like that either,” she cooed. Nate looked over at her, equally shocked and probably aroused by the meaning in her words.
“I bet you’re right.” He scooted a bit closer to her in their private booth. “But I know how you use your mouth.” He licked his lips, probably recalling the same memory Jordan did in that moment.
She smiled seductively. “Play your cards right and you’ll know again!”
If he’d been drinking something at that moment, he would have probably choked on it for he sputtered and blushed and Jordan’s belly warmed. It was good to feel wanted.
The drinks came and he toasted her, and they continued their playful banter over appetizers. When their meals came, they indulged and savored every bite.
“Man, this has got to be the best steak I’ve ever had.”
“I know! It’s so tender,” Jordan said as she took a bite of her filet.
They ordered a dark chocolate mousse afterward, but less than a few bites in they couldn’t finish it. They sat back, sipping their coffees, just taking in the moment. Jordan was simply enjoying the fact that she wouldn’t be the one doing the dishes tonight when Nate took her hand in his, entwining their fingers. A seriousness had come over him that made her nervous all of a sudden.
“Jordan, would it be so hard to imagine our lives like this?” She didn’t fully understand what he meant by that, but she held his gaze for long moments and finally he continued. “I didn’t realize that I’d hit a sore spot in the truck. I always thought your self-confidence was authentic; I never realized that it was a cover.” His boldness in that moment shocked her and she gaped at him. At first, she wasn’t sure how to respond. She wanted to lash out at him that he was wrong and insult him, but she couldn’t. He was a spade calling out a spade. His vice was his intimidation, his anger and he’d used it to push people away to cover for his fear. Her vice was her confidence and indifference and she’d used it to cover for her insecurity. She lowered her head then, tears stinging at her eyes.
“Baby, you are an amazing woman,” Nate insisted and cupped her cheek. “I don’t know who made you feel that you aren’t or why you feel that way, but please know that whatever you were thinking about yourself, whatever you still think- it’s dead wrong.” Hadn’t she said almost the exact same thing to him in the pasture that day… But his words were unfounded; he didn’t know the whole truth about her. “Jordan, sweetheart.” He brought her chin up with his index finger. “You and I are so much alike. We’re fierce and passionate and aggressive, and I think that’s why what’s going on between us has really opened us both up to new possibilities. Jordan, I’m starting to feel again.” Her eyes sought his and she smiled. “That was you who did that, you know? And it wasn’t just the sex that helped me, so don’t even say that. It was more; it was your patience with me and your teaching me to look inside myself. You’ve made this possible because you care, you care about me.” She did and she wanted to tell him so. Her heart had been stirring. It scared her and she hadn’t wanted it, but it was true.
“Oh, Nate.” She pulled his hand to her lips and kissed it softly. “I have to tell you something important. I—”
“Well, if it ain’t Nate Butler! How in Hell are ya?”
Their gaze shot up at that moment to see a tall mustached man in a white cowboy hat leaning towards them, his hand outstretched to Nate. Nathan took his offered hand and shook it, seeming to recognize him as he smiled back at the older man dressed to the nines in a tan button down shirt, red paisley vest and a silver bolo tie.
“I’m well, Mason. How are you?”
“Good, good…” The man named Mason looked over at Jordan, admiration twinkling in his eyes as he gave her the once over, twice. His grey eyes undressed her and made her feel incredibly uncomfortable, but she would never show him that. She gave him her best sultry smile. “And who is this beautiful redhead you’ve got with you tonight?”
“Oh, I apologize. Mason Sullivan meet Jordan Tate… Jordan meet Mason Sullivan.” Mason Sullivan took her outstretched hand, turned in over and placed his slimy lips against her knuckles. She cringed internally.
“Ms. Tate, I must say, it’s truly a pleasure.” His eyes told her what type of pleasure he meant.
She tried not to let her smile waver as she looked up at him. “Thank you, Mr. Sullivan.”
“Jordan, Mason is a very old client of ours. He knows my dad.”
Jordan just smiled over at Nate, nodding, waiting to get her hand back.
“Oh yes. David and I go way back.” Suddenly, and to Jordan’s intense relief, Mason dropped her hand as a middle-aged woman in a yellow dress approached. “Why, Carolyn look who it is? Nathan Butler.”
Carolyn looked over to Nate, smiling brightly. She was almost the exact definition of drab with maybe a bit more mascara and highlights, but the dress, the brunette perm and her face were completely drab. “My goodness, I haven’t seen you since you were knee high to a grasshopper. How’ve you been?”
“I’m well! Thank you, Mrs. Sullivan. I hope you are.”
“And this is Jordan Tate,” Mason stated and Carolyn’s eyes fell over Jordan. She could feel them as if they were lasers burning into her skin. The look of sheer disgust on her face as she looked up and down at her made Jordan recoil as if she’d been struck. Carolyn gave her a withered grin and told Mason to hurry along. Jordan swallowed hard and looked down. It was how her ex boss’s wife had looked at her that day: as if she were trash, as if she were a bug that needed squashing, as if she were the scum of the earth. She couldn’t control the tears that stung her eyes and excused herself from the table then making a beeline for the ladies’ room.
“I sure will. Thank you, Mr. Sullivan. I look forward to working with you too.” Nathan finished up with Sullivan as he paid the tab.
Nate and Mason had discussed business for a good ten to fifteen minutes, but Jordan had never returned from the restroom and he was starting to get worried. He quickly signed the check, replaced his card into his wallet and hurried to the front of the restaurant and behind the host stand, where the restroom was. He hated to just barge in, but something was wrong. It had to be the way that Mason had been looking at Jordan that spooked her. It was very clear to Nate that he’d liked what he’d seen and his wife hadn’t; talk about awkward for business.
He couldn’t stand it anymore. He cracked the door and called for her.
“Jordan?” Nothing. No answer. No sounds. He cursed silently. Perhaps she had gone to the truck. He let the door close and stood there for a moment, pondering what to do. Suddenly, she came out. “Oh, thank God! I was starting to worry. Are you ok?”
“Fine.” She’d completely composed herself as if nothing had happened. “You ready?” Nate’s brows drew in confusion. He just nodded and they headed out, her arm through his.
He wasn’t sure if he should bring it up or not, seeing as she obviously didn’t want to talk about it, but he’d seen the look on her face as she’d jetted away from the table. That encounter had affected her immensely. He looked over at her, but she stared strai
ght ahead as he started the truck, pulled out of the parking lot and headed down the road back home. He wasn’t three miles down the road, out of town on the lone dusty road when her voice broke the silence.
“Pull over.” In surprise, he looked over at her but did as she said, pulling into an old run-down gas station parking lot. Maybe she was going to be sick. They had both eaten a fair amount of food at dinner.
Nope. She had other plans.
Suddenly, she was in his lap, mouth on his, hands struggling at his belt. He was taken by surprise and not entirely in the mood considering, so he took her hands and stopped her.
“Jordan!”
“What?”
“What’s going on? What are you doing?”
“What does it look like I’m doing?” Her eyes were hard as she looked at him. “I’m trying to fuck you.”
“No.”
“No?” Her eyes squinted in anger. “Since when…”
“No, you’re trying to bury your feelings.”
“Oh, God,” she exclaimed in exasperation and jumped off him then, curling up to the side of the truck door, bringing her knees to her chest. “Don’t try to psychoanalyze me, Butler.”
“I’m not, but obviously something happened back there that upset you and you don’t want to face it. Look, I saw what happened!”
“Did you? And what was that?” She looked over at him then. The sun was starting to fade, but he could still see her and her eyes were hollow.
“They made you feel like you were a tramp.”
With that, Jordan burst into tears. Her body wracked by violent sobs as he pulled her into his chest and her head fell to his shoulder. “Shh, baby, don’t allow them to make you feel that way. You have a beautiful soul. It doesn’t even matter what they think. Who cares? Fuck ‘em. They don’t deserve to even get to know you. Old rich farts… What do they know? They’re just jealous.” She continued to cry and murmur incoherently as he stroked her back and kissed her head and hushed her. “Sweetheart, I adore you. You aren’t just a sex symbol. I know that. I know that now. It doesn’t matter if they don’t. Please, look at me.” Slowly, finally, she peeked her head out from behind her hands and looked at him. He opened the glove compartment and took out some tissues and handed one over as he blotted her eyes with the other. She turned and blew her nose. “Baby,” he cooed and shook his head. “You are so much more than what you show everyone.” She stared at him then looking into his eyes with such conviction that he knew in that instant that he loved her.
She straddled him again, taking his face in her hands and began kissing him, softly, passionately, and he reciprocated, moaning as she sucked on his tongue. Her hands fell then, back to his belt, and she had him unbuttoned and unfastened so quickly that he barely had time to register that she was already pulling him into her silky wetness. She cried out as the tip of him entered her as if she’d spent an eternity waiting to slake her lusts on him. It was all happening too fast as his erection was still growing inside her.
“Easy baby, there’s no rush…take your time.” He gripped her face in his hands and kissed her softly as her body came down on him hard, her hips writhing as she impaled herself on him. He moved his hands to her hips to slow her. “Jordan, baby, slowly.”
“I need you… Please,” she cried as she kissed him, her hands gripping his shirt. His hands moved then and he let her go to town on him. Nate peeled the dress off her head, seeing that she was naked beneath it and her head flew back as he grasped her breasts in his palms, squeezing and reshaping them. Her rhythm was fast and hard and it became increasingly difficult for him to restrain his climax. Jordan climbed and reached, the sweat dripping from them both as she sought her release. Sweet release. He kissed her neck, her chest, her collarbone, his mouth covered her breasts, pulling each nipple in to love them with his lips and tongue. She cried out. She had to be close, he knew, but she continued to ride him, hard and fast, milking him so close to oblivion. Jordan grunted and strained, huffed, rolling her hips, all the while he fought his body to hold himself back…just a little longer…a little longer.
“Sweet baby.” His lips went to her jawline as he softly whispered into her ear. “Come for me, my darlin’. Come for me. Just for me.”
She whimpered, her thighs digging in, climbing, stroking, writhing; so close, so close… His hips arched up to meet hers.
“My sexy lady… so beautiful,” he murmured and stroked her breasts, rolling her nipples between his thumbs and index fingers and moved his mouth on her neck, sucking the tender skin there exactly how he knew she liked it, grazing her pulse point with his teeth. She cried out, whimpering again. “That’s it. Let me feel your tightness around me. Let go, Jordan.”
She sobbed and cried out, “I can’t. I can’t.”
Before he could respond, he himself was climaxing, groaning in pleasure, gripping those rocking hips that had driven him over the edge of sanity, and he tumbled and tumbled, his body wracked in spasms as he came back to reality. He looked into her tear-stricken face and pulled her off his lap then and down to the seat, hovering over her. He started at her mouth with deep, passionate kisses then her breasts, sucking and licking; his mouth slowly bringing her desire back as slow moans filled her throat. Then his kiss moved lower and lower, planting little smooches on her tummy and her thighs and settling between her legs. He spread them wide and his mouth hovered over the delta of her thighs. His fingers were first, exploring and caressing the folds of skin that lie there then his mouth followed. He elicited a number of sexy noises from her throat as his tongue lapped at her sensitive flesh, his fingers thrusting gently into the silky warmth that was hers alone. He started slowly then increased his speed and pressure until her breath was ragged and her body writhed against him. She moaned out her pleasure cry, her sex contracting around his fingers as she fell in beautiful release, tears falling from her eyes. He continued to love her sweet flesh, her body jerking in spasms until her orgasm subsided then slowly he moved back up over her, aligning his body to hers, stroking her face and kissing her lips. She just looked at him, the light from the street lamp twinkling in her eyes.
“I love you, Jordan,” he whispered.
Jordan supposed she should be happy with herself. After all, she’d set out to bring Nathan Butler back from the dead, end his self-destruction, and cure him of his demons… It appeared that she’d accomplished all that. But she’d never imagined that he would end up falling in love with her in order to do so. She hadn’t anticipated that. Although, maybe she should have. One thing a person could always count on to give them hope was finding a reason to look forward to tomorrow. That’s what Jordan had done for Nathan. She’d given him hope! She should be happy that she’d brought him out of the darkness and into the light. She should be happy that he no longer had a reason to consider taking his own life. She should be happy that he was in love with her… What she wasn’t happy with was that she’d gone and fallen for him too.
She’d just sighed after he’d told her he loved her and shook her head at him.
“Oh, Nathan,” she’d said and kissed his cheek.
He didn’t know everything he needed to know about her to decide that he loved her. And she was sure she wasn’t ready to divulge that information. She’d only been his employee now for a little over a month, and almost overnight, they’d become so much more. She hadn’t been prepared for that. She hadn’t been prepared for love. She still wasn’t sure if she even wanted it. All she knew was that she enjoyed the way she felt in his arms and for now, that was enough.
She played it cool once they arrived home and smiled and thanked him for the date and had gone upstairs, calling it a night, much to his trepidation. She knew, at the time, he was beating himself up, wondering what he’d done wrong and thinking that she didn’t return his feelings. What she’d actually done was run away from him because her heart was wreaking havoc on her mind, and she was trying to rationalize her predicament, which wasn’t something one could do with love. Lo
ve was a new emotion for Jordan. Love wasn’t just a tingling feeling in the pit of a stomach, it was a deep humming; a magnetic force that became soul encompassing. It was passion, fulfillment, trust, contentment, understanding; love wasn’t just some problem to be worked out. Love was straight and to the point, it either was or it wasn’t.
She’d learned all that after battling her feelings for hours on end, bartering and begging and relenting with herself to try and sort out her emotions. The only clear and concise message she’d received was that she now knew, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that she was absolutely, head over heels for Nathan David Butler.
He was beautiful and intense and loving and he made her feel as if she were the only woman in the world. He was caring and giving and humble now and even though she knew he still had a lot of things to work out within himself, she had faith that he could move on from his past and embrace his future. Future, now that word had scared her. She saw him in her future; she wanted him there. He would probably want to marry her. He would expect that they would have children… But that’s where the future stopped for her. She couldn’t see past that giant blur on the lens. She had to come clean then perhaps she wouldn’t be as terrified of this new thing she was feeling called love.
But coming clean hadn’t been quite that easy for Jordan, not in the days that followed. Nate was so patient, his eyes beautiful blue orbs fighting a mixture of sadness and hope. He hadn’t cornered her or forced her or even touched her, come to think of it. He’d just waited good-naturedly on her answer to the unspoken question he’d asked after selflessly giving her the explosive sexual release she’d been striving for but unable to bring herself to experience that night in the truck.
That week, Nate had been really busy with a new set of horses that had come in for training, so it had given Jordan the space from him she’d needed. She’d cooked and cleaned and worked longer than usual and had even gone over to see Natalie and the baby a couple times just to get away from Nate’s intensely expectant gaze. She could now understand the way that Natalie looked at her husband and vice versa. Her former envy of them now seemed like a betrayal to her fellow women and to love in general. Natalie could sense something was off, but she hadn’t pushed Jordan for information and for that Jordan was grateful. Admitting to something she didn’t fully understand herself wouldn’t have been an easy thing to do.
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