by Amanda Boone
A smile stretched across Alaina’s face as she peered at him through the firelight. “What do you mean, you were in love with him?”
“He’s always been the only thing I had.”
“No mom?”
He leaned towards her, placing an arm behind her. He was so close to her, she could smell the scent of pine cones and must coming off of him. “She left us when I was about ten.”
“Oh. I’m sorry.” Alaina knew far too well what it felt like when a parent didn’t love you enough to stay.
He shook his head as if to brush it off. “It’s nothin’. They never got along anyway.”
Alaina nodded.
Keith reached into his back pocket, pulling out a cigarette and nudging her with it.
She shook her head. “I’m good. That shit’s unhealthy.”
He let out a chuckle as he lit it. “The health-conscious stripper.”
Alaina flashed him a severe look. “I’m not just a stripper.” She said.
He held both of his palms up in defense. “Yeah. Yeah.”
Alaina shook her head, looking away from him, but noting how he had artfully moved that much closer to her in the interim.
“It was weird anyway. Ever since that girl got killed…”
“Bethany?”
Keith nodded. “Yeah. Shit got weird after that. My dad, he just… he didn’t take it well.”
“So, if you’re so in love with your dad, why do you spend all your time on the road?”
“I love my dad, but he’s a shit father. You probably already noticed he’s an asshole. I don’t know why your mom would throw herself into all that.”
Alaina scoffed. “I don’t know either.”
“I guess I can’t complain. I dropped out of high school and ran away as soon as I could anyway.”
Alaina furrowed her brow. “Where did you go?”
“I had a friend. A best friend. He was in a gang, wanted me to be in the gang… so I left with him… now he’s dead.” Keith’s voice broke a little at the end.
Alaina’s eyes went wide. For the first time, she saw something more than an incredibly attractive guy wrapped in tattoos with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. “How?”
“Shooting out in Texas.”
She nodded. Maybe it was the moonlight, or the fire, or the mere fact that she was bat shit tired, but she let her head fall on his shoulder. It was comforting, feeling his strong body under hers. “I’m so sorry about all that.”
“Yeah me too.”
Keith threw his cigarette into the fire and wrapped his arms around Alaina. She gazed into the fire, trying her best not to think too hard. When she did that, when she let her mind wander beyond the moment right in front of her, it would conjure up images of people and things. She’d be back at Cajun Field again walking through a sea of peanut shells…
“I don’t think my dad is right for Joanna.” Keith murmured.
Alaina gave an eager nod. “Oh God, Keith. No one’s right for her.” But the light breeze carried that last word away. She burrowed her face into Keith’s chest, soaking every bit of him in. Her heart pounded for him, her stomach fluttered for him. She wanted him with every fiber in her being.
He held her tighter and tighter, his chin resting on the crown of her head, then his lips pressing against her forehead, then her cheeks, and then her chin. Under the crackle of the flame and the glow of the moon, Alaina could think of no reason to refuse him.
His hand found its way to her chin, tilting it up towards him, but she closed her eyes. She was afraid that if she looked at him, if she saw the desire in his gaze, she could never look at him again without her heart throbbing with longing.
He hovered there, his lips barely brushing against hers, his breath washing over her face. Her mouth watered in anticipation.
In anticipation.
In anticipation.
But just as they touched, just as she began to melt, he pulled away.
Chapter Five
There were voices in the kitchen. Keith’s bass voice was intertwined with Jeb’s scratchy husk. Alaina hid in the small space right in front of her bedroom door. She had just returned from a short evening practice with Frida and had been looking forward to talking to her mother about this whole Jeb thing all day.
But Jeb was here… and so was Keith.
She tried to ignore the way that her heart pounded, just knowing he was under the same roof. She sucked in deep breaths, telling herself that nothing would happen between the two of them, but the almost-kiss they had shared not even twenty-four hours prior made it impossible for her not to at least hope.
Alaina pressed her palms against the walls on either side of her. “Go,” She mouthed to herself. “Just freaking go.”
“Alaina!” Jeb’s voice shot across the living room, up the stairs and right to her ears.
“Yes?” she practically hopped down the hall, sounding more like an overstimulated dog than an actual functional woman.
Jeb sat low in their old loveseat, his arm reaching over Alaina’s mother’s shoulders. His thin lips stretched into a smile, his eyes twinkling and his face flushed in his drunkenness. “Why don’t you and Keith grab some beers for your old lady?”
Her mother’s jaw dropped. She shoved him, yelling, “I’m a far cry from old!”
Jeb let out a dark chuckle as he planted a forced kiss on her lips.
Alaina bit her lip, her eyes darting across the room to the mantle where Keith stood staring almost too intently at her childhood photos. She willed him to look at her, but as she stared, his eyes remained averted.
“Hey! Hun!” Jeb snapped his finger at her. “Go,” His eyebrows shot up as he practically shooed Alaina and Keith out of the house.
Alaina felt much more alone outside in the cool night than she did in her own house. Her stomach rolled, turning over itself in excitement, but Keith still had nothing to say to her.
They made it to the liquor store, nearly touching arms as they stood trying to pick out something cheap, yet satisfying. When they got to the counter, Alaina’s heart fluttered at the fact that he had insisted on paying. Then they were outside again and in the car and home.
Alaina shriveled under the weight of her thousands of questions but couldn’t bring herself to ask one.
Keith knocked on the door even though Alaina had distinctly remembered to bring her key. Her hand curled around the cool piece of metal in her jacket pocket, but she wouldn’t tell him. She wanted those few seconds alone with him.
He stood there next to her, rolling back and forth, the leather of his jacket brushing against the leather of hers. “Sorry. My dad can be a little--”
“Don’t apologize for him,” Alaina didn’t want to be talking about his dad.
After a short pause, he tried again with, “The other night, I…” But he couldn’t finish the statement.
Alaina nodded as if he had, one small voice in the back of her mind wondering why no one had come to the door yet and an even smaller voice hoping that they’d be stuck out there forever. “It was a cool place. I had fun.” What she really meant was, “Please just kiss me already.”
He looked at her, his gaze reaching down into her. “I don’t wanna be inappropriate…”
But they were already inappropriately close. Somehow, they had managed to gravitate towards each other, creating a cloud of heat and lust. She could feel his hand just grazing against hers, his breath showering her face… then his lips on hers. Alaina couldn’t attest to what had happened. One minute they were standing and the next they were kissing.
And it was glorious. And it was scandalously beautiful. His hand on her hip, his pinkies ducking just below her belt line, tickling her butt. It was perfect. His tongue jutting into her mouth, his sighs intertwining with hers.
Then the door yanked open and they jumped apart. Alaina’s heart pounded around like a fat kid running laps in gym class, stumbling around in her chest as she struggled not to give away their deed with her fa
ce.
Jeb snatched the beers right out of Keith’s hands and clasped Alaina’s arm, yanking her over the threshold. “You don’t got a key?”
Alaina’s skin crawled at the sensation of his touch. “I for--”
“Jeb, that’s my daughter. You don’t touch her like that.”
It was then that Alaina noticed it: a shift. Jeb and her mother seemed to repel each other as they made their way to the kitchen with the alcohol. They must have had some sort of fight, because they wouldn’t even look at each other.
“So now you gonna tell me how ta act?” Jeb slammed the beer on the counter top, yanking each bottle out of its cardboard slot.
It was like the rubber band that held them together had snapped, whacking both of them in the face. “You can’t just touch her any type ‘a way.” Alaina’s mother slammed her palms against the counter.
Jeb opened his beer, taking a generous gulp of it, and then slammed it on the counter. He leaned over to her. “I’m the head of this family now. I know my rights.”
Alaina’s mother’s eyes went wide as her hands shot up in the air. She held them there, her lips stretching into a sneer as she squeezed her fingers shut. “Oh! You!” she screeched.
“Dad,” Keith said, placing a calming hand on his shoulder.
Jeb shrugged it off, taking another swig of his beer. “Besides. You’re in the wrong.” He turned his gaze on Alaina. “What took you so fuckin’ long anyway? Did ya’ll screw or somethin’.”
“Jeb!” mother roared.
It was a joke. It had to be a joke. Or wasn’t it? Could Jeb see the desire emanating from her every pore?
Jeb cocked his head to one side, shrugging his shoulders. “Come on. It’s not that far out.”
Alaina’s eyes narrowed, her heart pounding in her ears.
“What’s gotten into you?” Her mother asked, her nervous eyes darting from Jeb to Alaina.
“I’m a dancer, not a whore.”
“Dad, give it a rest.”
But Jeb’s eyes were glazed over, his gaze unseeing. “Oh?” he said. “There’s a difference?”
“Jeb! Don’t you dare talk about my daughter like that!” Mother yelled, rounding the kitchen table. She faced him chest to chest, glaring at him.
“You’re gonna let me talk to her however I want,” He said, lifting her left hand and gesturing at her engagement ring, “Because I put that there.” Jeb gulped down the rest of his beer, swaying backwards. “Besides… I ain’t sayin’ nothin’ you weren’t already thinkin’.”
Alaina flushed beet red.
Her mother’s chest inflated to almost twice its size as she slammed her fists into his chest, her little body exploding in front of them.
Jeb flinched in surprise, but his hands grasped her wrists, holding her in the spot. He grabbed her so hard, her slippers lifted almost an inch off the ground. When he finally dropped her, she stumbled back towards Alaina. “Be cool, Joanna!” he hollered.
But her mother was already far too angry. She charged him as soon as she physically could. She swung her right arm at him, the sound of flesh hitting flesh filling the kitchen.
“Mom!” Alaina wrapped her arms around her small frame.
Jeb’s hand flew to the reddening patch of skin on his face, a cold rage building in his eyes.
Keith had taken a step in front of him. A precaution.
“Get out,” Her mother said, panting.
Jeb set his jaw, brushing past Keith to pick up the pack of beers on the counter. He bent over, performing a drunken bow. “Gladly.”
Keith reluctantly followed him out, his brows furrowed in worry. “I’ll make sure he doesn’t crash.”
Alaina nodded. “What happened?” she asked her mother as soon as she heard the door shut behind them.
Her mother set her jaw, the grinding of her teeth audible in the quiet space. “He’s full of shit. That’s what,” She said as she stalked out of the room. Her words lingered behind her.
Chapter Six
On her first day back at work, Alaina felt far under the weather. She was distracted. Four whole dances around a pole… three falls… seven stumbles and two missed beats. She found it impossible to count anything except for how many times she was failing.
Alaina made her fourth revolution around the pole as she filled her head with thoughts of Jeb. For some reason, he reminded her of that night all those years ago. She could see herself… but the memory was hazy…
She had needed to use the restroom. She had to pee so bad that she could feel the ache all the way down her thighs. So, she had left her mother and whatever bimbo she had been dating at the time and she swam through the crowd.
Those feminine legs that were wrapped around the man went limp and fell to either side of him. He stumbled away and turned around and there she was… Bethany. She grabbed his shoulders with both of her hands, a smoky gaze in her sixteen-year old eyes. He was rapidly pulling up his pants, clasping his buttons, buckling his belt.
There it was…
His face….
The music had stopped before she realized no one had thrown her any money. Slightly disoriented, she stepped off of the stage. As Frida’s favorite song blared through the speakers, Alaina made eye contact with a man who looked extremely familiar. It wasn’t until he stepped up to her that she even recognized who he was. “Jeb?” her stomach turned at the thought of even being in the same room with her future step dad dressed the way she was.
“I want a private dance.” The sentence tumbled out of his mouth, the words slurring together.
Alaina couldn’t possibly take him seriously. “What?”
Then he clasped both of her arms with his sticky hands.
Alaina’s eyes darted all around her as she looked for the manager or a bartender or anyone with clothes on that could tell him to fuck off. But none of them were paying any attention to her.
“You heard me.”
He pushed her towards one of the curtain covered rooms. “No,” she said. But as she looked into his eyes, she saw the man she had stumbled upon all those years ago. “Bethany.” She breathed, looking up at him.
He glared at her. “What?”
His grip tightened.
She tried to shrug her way out of it, but he held her far too tight. It was as she swept the room one more time for help that her eyes fell on the front door. Keith’s voice could be clearly heard. “No! That’s my Dad, I—”
“You can’t say no to me.” Jeb said, shaking her. He rattled her from the inside out.
“I can say whatever the hell I want!” She screeched.
“Jeb!” Keith snapped.
The next thing Aliana knew, Keith was using his heavy hands and his strength to rip Jeb’s grip away from her.
“What the hell is going on?” she demanded, rubbing her arms.
“You have no right!” Jeb roared before throwing a slow punch at Keith.
Alaina’s eyes went wide, just as the sound of flesh hitting flesh broke through the music.
Keith recovered quickly, but instead of retaliating or making any moves to defend himself, he grabbed Alaina. “Let’s go!” he ordered.
Alaina was not inclined to blindly follow directions but as soon as she saw the look in his hazel eyes, she couldn’t bring herself to challenge him.
“What the fuck is wrong with your dad?” she demanded as soon as they were outside. The crisp breeze cut at her skin. She crossed her arms, grinding her teeth to keep herself from shivering. “What the hell happened in there?”
Keith shook his head and threw his arms up around him. “He gets like this around this time of year.” He said, panting.
“What do you mean?” Alaina paced back and forth. A million thoughts ran through her head and everything around her spun. She could hardly see straight, let alone carry on a real conversation.
“The whole Bethany thing really affected him.” he said, stepping towards her.
Alaina would allow herself to return his gaze onl
y because looking into those eyes stopped the world from spinning, but she wouldn’t let herself be touched by him. Not dressed this way, not drenched in the funk of Lipstick. “Bethany Chandler?”
He nodded. “That dead girl.”
Alaina looked down at her feet, the weight of the evening finally taking a toll on her. She was just so tired… so tired she didn’t even protest when Keith wrapped his arms around her. “What is this?” she asked, completely caught off guard.
“I’m sorry about him.”
“It isn’t your fault,” She said, taking in a generous whiff of his scent. She could already feel her stomach settling with his touch.
“It doesn’t matter whose fault it is,” Keith replied.
Alaina could hear his heart pounding in his chest, feel the trembling in his muscles. Even though he’d die before admitting it, she could tell he’d been rattled. She opened her mouth to say something, anything comforting, but before she could even assemble the right words, the club doors burst open and guard thrust Jeb through the door. Just as he got to the curb, the sound of police sirens could be heard from the distance.
Alaina couldn’t stop herself from staring at his tall, lean frame. He hung over the curb of the sidewalk as if he awaited a whirlwind of vomit. His whole body shook, his shirt drenched in sweat and his pasty skin gleaming in the moonlight.
Then, as if possessed by some strange urge, he snapped up and glared right at her.
Alaina gulped, her heart stopping as he jabbed his finger in her direction and charged at her. “Fuck you! Fuck you and your whore mother!”
Her skin crawled at those words even though they couldn’t mean anything to her coming from him.
Keith let out a deep sigh, but, as the police car pulled up, with its flashing lights and blaring sirens, he refrained from saying anything. Alaina wanted to watch them arrest him, but Keith turned her around, grabbing her hand and forcing her to walk with him down the sidewalk.
“What about Bethany get’s him so worked up?” She asked.
Keith stopped walking. “I’m the only one in the whole fucking world that knows this.”
He wouldn’t even look at Alaina.
“That’s a lot of pressure.” She said, keeping her gaze fixed on him.
