by Amanda Boone
Luke often kept his personal life from his mother because she was a very typical Southern mom in the fact that she was always trying to set him up. Even more so after his father died, she was overwhelmed with the thought of having grandchildren. “That’s so exciting!” She clapped her hands together and fidgeted in her seat.
“It’s just dinner, Ma. We’re not marrying off.”
“Not yet,” she sang as she grabbed his hand and gave it a good squeeze. “She is such a good girl, Luke. You two really were great together.”
Luke took a deep breath. He didn’t want to get her hopes up, or maybe he didn’t want to get his hopes up. “Don’t get too excited. We’re just catchin’ up.”
No matter what he said, he wasn’t going to discourage her excitement. “She asks about you all the time, you know?”
Damn it. Now his hopes were a thousand stories up, and there was no way to bring them down. “She does?”
“Well of course she does. You’re the sweetest man she could ever ask for,” his mother cooed. Luke took a bite of his sandwich and tried to act as if his heart wasn’t about to beat from his chest. He took a few deep breaths and cleared his throat.
“She been seeing anyone since I left?” He kept his eyes focused on his food as if it were the most fascinating thing he had ever seen. After a few moments of silence, he peered out of the corner of his eye at his mom, who was smiling at him happily.
“Not that I know of, and believe me, I would know about it.”
“Why? You got eyes on her?”
“Oh, Luke.” She waved her hands, dismissing the thought. Southern mothers all had one thing in common: They loved to snoop, but they hated to be called out on it. “Now you know that in a town this size I’m liable to hear about something happening before it even begins.” She busied herself with the dishes before mumbling under her breath, “And Mrs. Kiplins gives me updates from time to time.”
“Ma!” Luke protested in disbelief. He tried his hardest to hold back the laugh that threatened to escape his throat. “Shame on you.” Although he tried to ignore it, the curiosity was eating away at him. “What’d Mrs. Kiplins have to say?”
His mom shot him a mischievous grin, knowing she had roped him in, and excitedly pranced back to the counter bar where he sat. “Well, she said that Serena was missing you bad. She said that the whole time you been gone that girl came in and sat at your table. She said she was always writing something, but she had a far off look about her, like she wasn’t quite right without you.”
“Oh, Ma.” He waved his hand at the thought that someone like Serena would be pining over someone like him. “She did not.”
“She did so!”
“She could have any guy she wanted to…” Luke’s voice trailed off in the footsteps of his thoughts. After all this time, 397 days, since they had been together, he hadn’t spent one single day without thinking about her. In his heart he didn’t allow himself to believe that she could have felt the same. Every man she had ever run into wanted her. There would be no need for her to wait this long just for a poor farm boy.
Luke choked up slightly at the thought of how they had ended things. There was no way that after the things he’d said to her she would still care for him, but he’d done what he’d had to to protect her. He had no idea the day he left if he would ever be coming back, and leaving her grieving over him wasn’t something he could have on his conscious.
His mother put her hand gently under his chin and raised it ever so slightly until their eyes met. He could see the glisten of tears that rested on the brim of her ocean blue eyes. “But she didn’t want just any man. She wanted you.” She took a deep breath to steady herself before she continued. “Luke, don’t do this to yourself.”
“Do what?”
“Self-destruct.” Staring deep into his eyes, she could see the hurt that lay just below the surface where he would never allow anyone to see. “You’ve been through some rough stuff, but that doesn’t mean that you aren’t worth loving. You deserve love. At least promise me you’ll take a chance with her? Put your feelings out there and allow her to decide. Don’t decide for her that you aren’t good enough.”
“Don’t worry about me, Ma. I’m fine.”
“It’s my job to worry about you.” With a kiss on the forehead, she left the room and left him to deal with his thoughts.
*
With each mile he closed between his house and hers, his heart was threatening to beat from his chest more and more. He hadn’t been this nervous about something in a very long time. Five agonizingly long minutes later he finally pulled down her drive that was all too familiar. Years’ worth of memories flooded back all at once.
As he rang the doorbell, he took a deep breath. “Luke!” a familiar voice called. As the door opened, he saw Serena’s mom standing inside, beaming. She wrapped him in a warm hug before holding him at arm’s length. “How have you been?” He knew she meant well, but the pity in her eyes cut straight to his heart. All his life he had been independent, always keeping his personal life to himself. Each time someone gave him a pitiful look and asked how he was, he found embarrassment rising inside him.
“Been great, Mrs. Thompson. How have you been?”
“We’ve been great! We miss seeing you around.”
“I’ve missed y’all too.” Before he could say any more, Serena came bounding down the stairs.
“Hey!” She wore a fitted blue floral print dress that accentuated her figure perfectly. Although Luke prided himself on being a gentleman, he would have had to have been dead or gay to not notice how deliciously the sweetheart neckline framed her chest.
“Hey, Serena. You ready to go?” He offered her the crook of his elbow, which she eagerly laced her arm through.
“Bye, Momma!” She called over her shoulder. “Don’t wait up.”
“Take care of her, Luke!” Serena’s mom hollered after them.
“Yes, ma’am. You have my word.” As they approached his truck, he jogged slowly ahead of her to open her door. She grinned up at him as she crawled up into his raised cab. “I was thinking,” he said as he climbed into the driver’s seat and reeved the engine, “maybe we could go to Loca’s? I know it’s your favorite.”
Serena gave him a confused glance that hid so beautifully under her bright white smile. “Loca’s went out of business a long time ago.”
“They did?” She nodded. “Damn. Guess a lot’s changed since I’ve been gone.”
Sensing the slight sadness in his voice, Serena piped up cheerfully. “How about Henry’s? Or we could always go to Midway. Oh! Or what about Stumpie’s? I know how you love breakfast foods at dinner time.” The way the words gushed from her mouth without thought or filter made Luke smile.
“Where would you like to go?”
Switching her scrunching mouth from side to side, deep in thought, she finally said, “Stumpie’s.”
“You sure? Not just on account of me?”
“No. I want to! As you know, I take food very seriously. I assure you I would not be making such an important decision based on your opinion.” Luke let out a heartfelt laugh at the animated nature in which she spoke, using wild hand gestures for emphasis. He had forgotten how easily she could make him laugh.
“As long as you’re sure.” After a few minutes filled with laughter, they pulled into the parking lot at Stumpie’s. It was a place unlike any other he had been to. The best way he had found to describe it to others was a combination of a bar and a diner with a little bit of heaven mixed in. He was sure the guys in his troop had gotten tired of it before too long; he talked about missing it so often. However, he knew they hadn’t gotten sick of hearing about it as fast as they had gotten sick of hearing about Serena for as much as he talked about her.
After opening her car door for her and helping her out of the truck, he had to resist the urge to grab her hand. At one point in his life, it had felt so natural to do so that he had a hard time not unconsciously doing it now. “Luke!” He heard a frie
ndly voice call as they walked into the dimly lit space.
“Mary Ellen!” Before he could finish what he was saying, she had him wrapped in a tight hug. Mary Ellen was the owner of Stumpie’s, and the mayor’s daughter. They had grown up together. In a town of 2,000, you didn’t have much of a choice but to know everyone.
“Oh my God!” she squealed. “Please tell me this is a thing again.” She wagged her finger between the two of them.
“Oh...” Luke couldn’t find the words to say.
“Yeah. We’re expecting,” Serena said, rubbing her stomach gently.
“What?!” Mary Ellen’s eyes nearly fell from her skull. “You’re…” She looked at the other people around them before whispering, “Pregnant?”
“No!” Serena exclaimed, shoving her shoulder. “I’m totally kiddin’, but you should have seen your face.”
“Oh thank God. I had so many follow-up questions!”
“We’re just catching up.”
“Well, y’all have a good time. And Luke?”
“Yeah?”
“Thank you for your service. You’re a real local hero around here.”
He could feel himself blush slightly. “Oh, I don’t know about that. Just doing my job like anyone else.”
“Well, I appreciate what you do. Y’all seat yourselves. I’ll send Dusty over in just a few.”
“What the hell was that?” Luke laughed when they sat down. Serena batted her eyelashes innocently.
“I didn’t know how else to break the awkward tension of asking if we were back together.”
“And an unexpected pregnancy was your only option?” Luke was laughing so hard he thought he might cry.
“I’m not quick on my feet.” After keeping a straight face throughout their entire conversation, she finally broke into a fit of laughter with him. “I’ll admit, it wasn’t my best work.”
“Guess it was about time I was the center of a town-wide rumor. Been too long since I was a part of one of those.”
“Hey, somebody’s got to keep things interesting around here.” At that exact moment Dusty came and took their order, but not before he asked Luke a million invasive questions about Iraq. When he finally headed off to the kitchen to put their order in, Serena looked at him with bug eyes. “I am so sorry about that.”
“’Bout Dusty? He’s just a kid interested in war. Most the young guys are nowadays with all the commercials glorifying it all. Well, I’m here to tell ya, it ain’t nothing like the commercials.” He took a swig of his beer and leaned back in his seat. Hearing the hurt in his voice, Serena’s forehead creased with concern.
“How long are you home for this time?”
“For good.” Without making eye contact, he took another drink from his bottle and focused on peeling the label like it was the most interesting thing in the entire world.
“What? What do you mean?”
“I’m not going back. I was…” He cleared his throat and tried to sound as casual as possible. “I was discharged by the Marines.”
“Luke, what happened?” The pity in her voice was the exact reason he hadn’t told anyone.
“Mines can be a pesky thing.” He planned to leave it at that, but seeing how confused and scared she was made him carry on. “It ain’t that bad. The main trouble was my shoulder. I spent the last few months in a physical rehab center in Arizona, but I’m almost back to normal now.”
“Luke…I’m so sorry.” She said the words barely above a whisper.
“Don’t be. I was lucky. A few my buddies weren’t nearly as lucky as me. Plus, I had a good run at it. Four years ain’t too bad.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Not really how you want to start a conversation with a pretty girl. Plus, it’s over now. I can’t go back and change things, so it doesn’t matter anymore.” She reached across the table and very gently sat her hand on top of his. Her ocean blue eyes burned into his with concern.
“Luke…”
“Let’s talk about something else, okay?”
“Yeah, okay.”
“So…how does your boyfriend feel about you being at dinner with your charming ex?” She shot him a devilish smirk.
“That was smooth.”
“Was it? Been tryin’ to think of a good way to bring that up all day.” Luke chuckled. The moment of silence that followed had his heart in his throat. What if she was dating someone? How would he take that news?
Serena scrunched her nose, making a face at him. “No boyfriend. How does your girlfriend feel about it?”
“Ah, so you’re interested,” he teased. “No girlfriend.”
“Oh, sorry.” She made a dramatically surprised face. “Boyfriend?” She couldn’t even get the word fully out before she burst into laughter.
“Real funny.”
“Well, you did spend the like four years surrounded by nothing but men.”
“Hey now. We had a couple women in our groups, you sexist.” His eyes glimmered as he teased her back, and the awkward tension from before quickly melted away. They sat for nearly two hours, laughing and talking as if nothing had changed between them. Luke loved every single moment he got to spend around her. Something about her radiated happiness. It was nearly impossible to be around her without finding yourself filled with warmth and meaning.
Luke could slowly feel his hands beginning to shake more and more as time went on. He cursed himself for forgetting to take his medicine before he left. He didn’t know how he could have been so stupid. Still, he was having such a good time that he chose to ignore it.
“Oh shit. Serena?” A deep voice came from behind them, heavy with arrogance.
“Nathan.” Although Serena’s voice was polite, it was obvious that she didn’t care to be talking to him.
“It’s been a while, huh?”
“Yeah, it’s been a while.”
“Damn, Luke,” Nathan said as he turned his attention back to him. “It’s been even longer since I’ve seen you round here. Weren’t you off shooting up those towel heads? If only I wasn’t flat-footed,” he said to the guy next to him. “I’d be out there putting caps in all of ’em.”
“That’s not a rule anymore.”
Anger shot across Nathan’s face, and his voice was filled with defense. “Uh, yeah it is. I talked to a recruiter senior year, same as you.” Luke was in no mood to ruin their evening by arguing the rules of the military with someone he didn’t even care to talk to at all, so he didn’t say anything else and let Nathan think that he had won.
“So, Serena, how have you been?”
“I’ve been good.” Nathan grabbed a chair from the table next to where they were seated and pulled it over, making an awful screeching noise on the floor. He flipped it backward and sat with his legs on either side of the back, his arms crossed, leaning across the back of it.
“Yeah? I heard you were almost done with your teaching degree.”
“Yes. I only have one semester left.” It was always obvious when Serena didn’t want to talk to someone, because she would say the bare minimum required to be able to get by. Normally he couldn’t get her to stop talking.
“I wish we’d had teachers like you around when I was in school. Bet you could teach me a thing or two.” He eyed Serena up and down, not concerned with how noticeable it was. The tone of his voice made Serena’s skin crawl and Luke’s blood boil.
“If you don’t mind,” she said politely. “We’re in the middle of a date.”
“A date?” Nathan asked while letting out a mocking laugh. “With this guy?” As he leaned in closer to her, she could smell the whiskey on his breath. “Wouldn’t you rather go out with a real man?”
“All right,” Luke interrupted. “You’ve said hi. I think it’s time for y’all to go now.” Nathan didn’t even turn to look at Luke. He kept his eyes plastered on every square inch of Serena.
“I wasn’t talking to you. I asked the lady a question. I could show you a good time if you’d let me.”
>
“Honestly,” Serena said slowly, nervously. Her scared eyes darted to Luke. “You’re making me very uncomfortable.”
“Listen here. You’d be lucky to get to go out with me.” Anger rose in Nathan’s voice with each word. “Ain’t nobody good enough for you? You spoiled bitch.”
“That’s enough,” Luke growled through clenched teeth.
Acting as if he hadn’t hear him, Nathan cupped Serena’s chin in his hand. “Might be a bitch, but you’re as hot as always.” With a look of disgust on her face, she forcefully pushed his hand away.
“Please, don’t touch me.”
“You’re kidding right? Like you’re some kind of princess?” As she stood to walk away, Nathan grabbed her arm and pulled her back.
“She said not to touch her.” Luke’s voice boomed with anger. In one swift motion he pushed the chair Nathan was sitting in, which caused him to go flying to the ground. Luke tried to silently talk down the anger that was rising inside him.
Nathan looked around when he hit the ground as if he was confused about how he had ended up there. Anger covered his face as he pieced together what had happened. “You kiddin’ me?” he yelled at the top of his lungs. At this point they had gathered the attention of everyone else in the building, and a crowd was beginning to form. Nathan drunkenly got to his feet and pushed Luke.
“Listen, I don’t want to fight you,” Luke said. “Sorry I shoved you—” Before Luke could finish his sentence, Nathan shoved him again.
“Scared of me, Luke?”
Luke’s hands began to shake even more, and he closed his eyes to try to regain focus on the situation that he was losing. At that exact moment the front door slammed, and having already been agitated, this pushed Luke over the edge.
It was something he could never explain. It was as if his body was taken over by someone else. He felt terrified and liberated all at once. After that, it all went black. The next thing he remembered, he was kneeling over Nathan’s body with blood-splattered hands. Serena’s terrified voice echoed in the background around him. He looked at his shaking hands, dripping with red, as if they weren’t his own. Slowly the confusion subsided and he realized what he had done.
