“Fuck you!” Josh spits the words. His spit is mixed with blood.
Volkov nods slowly, again giving me that creepy feeling that he’s a monster who shouldn’t be provoked.
Again, the huge, inked man comes into view. He has a white bottle in his hand. This time I know what it means. My eyes jump between him and Dad, thinking he’s going to hurt Dad again, but this time he walks over to where Mom’s tied to the chair. Her face is streaked with mascara and blood. She looks devastated, and that makes me think that I’m too calm. If Mom looks so haggard and broken, then I should be nothing but a whimpering mess. Where Dad is the foundation, Mom is the glue that keeps our family together. She’s the one who kissed our scraped knees and made us chicken soup when we were sick. She’s the one who comforted us with her loving arms when our hearts were broken. She was the one who cheered us on.
It feels as if I’m being sucked into a bottomless hole of pain. Dread and hysteria whirls in my chest, making a deadly combination.
The nameless torturer squirts a fluid over the front of Mom. I’m confused until he takes a lighter from his pocket.
“No-No-No-No!” Distorted screams rip from my throat, but it’s no use. He throws the lighter at Mom, and I watch in horror struck distress as her dress lights up with angry flames.
I try to fling my legs at Mom … if only I can kill the flames. But I end up being strangled by the chain. My body swings violently as I try to suck in air. I feel heat flare up to my left.
Cries … agonizing cries that make bile rush up my throat, tear through Mom. I see glimpses of her as my body swings out of control. She tries to move to get away from the flames but the chair falls over. The man squirts more fluid into the already fiery flames, causing them to engulf Mom.
My mind starts to race, trying to think of a way to make this all go away - to save Mom and Dad – to just erase the past few hours and go back to a time where we were a happy, carefree family.
I finally find my footing and I’m able to stop the chain from spinning and strangling me.
My eyes are glued to my mother’s burning body until she no longer moves. I refuse to absorb what just happened.
This is not real.
If I don’t accept this as my reality then surely it can still be undone?
“I’m sorry!” I hear Josh cry. I can’t tear my gaze away from my burning mother. “I’m fucking sorry! Please … no more.”
“Your apology means nothing,” Volkov spits. “You left me ashes to bury. Choose!”
I can feel my soul shrinking away from all the violence and pain. A deadly calm creeps into my devastated mind, bringing along with it a hissing noise – like the fatal silence that hangs in the air after a bomb exploded.
My eyes keep jumping from Mom’s burning body to Dad’s ghastly pale face, then to Volkov, then back to Josh. I’m reeling with devastation and agony.
“She woke me up, bouncing at the foot of the bed like she used to do back when she was a toddler,” Volkov whispers.
I’m confused by the sudden change of direction this nightmare is taking, and my eyes slowly find their way to Volkov.
He’s looking at Mom’s burned body.
Anger unlike any other explodes inside of me. How dare he look at Mom!
“You’re a monster,” I try to scream at him, but it comes out sounding like a strangled hiss. “You’re a cruel and heartless monster.”
His eyes find mine and I watch as they grow cold.
“I watched my precious daughter suffer for nine long days before she died. She was innocent! The blood of my innocent family screams at me to avenge them!” he shouts at me. Spittle flies from his lips and it makes him look savage. His maddened eyes fall hard on Josh. “Choose or I will choose for you, Mr. Woods.”
Josh looks at Logan and I see his lips move. I can’t make out the words. His whole body shudders and then he looks at me. His mouths moves, forming the words, “I’m sorry.”
Two words that shock me to my core.
The walls of my perfectly constructed life crash down around me, leaving me defenseless to assaults.
“Gun,” Josh spits the word out. “Please don’t let them suffer.”
I can’t believe what I’m hearing. My big brother just chose the way I should die. My hero won’t be saving me.
My hero … my always caring and protective bother.
There’s a deafening bang and it rips me out of my moment of shock and self-pity, in time to see Logan’s body sag limply to the floor. A pool of blood quickly forms around him.
My eyes are wide with disbelief and distress. My heart is racing too fast. It’s leaving me breathless.
My ears are ringing. My skin is tingly with dread.
I’m suspended in a gruesome moment in which the hissing sound fills every corner of my mind.
I see the man walk towards me.
I see him point the gun at me.
Just behind him I see another man point a gun right at Josh’s chest. My legs give way as I see his hand jerk and Josh’s body jerks from the impact of the bullet.
The man in front of me fires the gun but I don’t hear the deafening sound. I don’t feel any pain.
The loneliest silence descends over me. It leaves me isolated … devastated ... forlorn.
A pitiful chaos.
Nothing more than a desolate atom in a universe of hopelessness.
Sometimes, help doesn’t arrive on time.
Sometimes, the hero is late.
Sometimes, life just gets to break you, and there’s nothing you can do to stop it from happening – because the hero turns out to be fake.
I see people storm into the room. I see bright lights. The people are dressed all in black helmets and goggles cover their faces.
I see flashes as they fire their guns but it means nothing to me.
I’m already dead.
A man runs right by me, and a moment later the chain loosens the biting hold around my neck. I didn’t notice how my racing breaths from a moment ago turned into pitiful gasps.
I sag to the floor and it takes considerable effort to keep my eyes open.
A dark figure kneels next to me. The person pauses before he reaches for me. Strong hands quickly remove the chain from around my neck.
I’m not sure what’s a dream and what’s real anymore. I can’t process everything that’s happening.
Arms slip under my back and knees and I’m lifted into the air. I get a glimpse of Josh. The chair has toppled over and he’s not moving. His eyes are wide open … but lifeless. His once white shirt is stained with blood and grime.
Everywhere my eyes touch, there are dead bodies – those of my family – and those of Volkov and his men.
Death. It’s not a path to a better place like I always thought it would be. Death confines you. It suffocates all the warmth and happiness from you. Death is the end. There’s just nothing after it.
Griffin~
“We breach on three,” I say. I’m so fucking tense there’s a dull ache between my shoulder blades. Nothing can go wrong. Josh’s life depends on it.
All my men have trackers implanted in them for cases like this. It just makes it easier to find them in a time of crisis.
I look at my group one last time. Mike is the baby of the team. He only joined us two years ago but he has quickly become a part of the family. I’ve known Josh the longest, almost thirteen years. Miles was the first to join our little team when I started ATS. Amelia joined us after she lost her husband in combat. She was a medic but we trained her in weapons and combat, and she’s quickly become the heart of the team. Camden and Carson were recruited over the years. The seven of us make up Armed Tactical Services. We’ve had some shitty jobs over the past few years, but nothing compares to something like this – when one of your own has been taken.
I hold my left hand up and show three fingers, two fingers, and then Mike detonates the charge. The door gives way from the blast, and we quickly file into the supposedly abandon
ed building.
We’ve done this a million times. I know my men won’t fail me, especially since it’s Josh we’re coming for.
A gunshot echoes through the building. We move faster as cold fear grips ahold of my heart. A man walks into the passage and Miles quickly takes him out. He’s got lead because he’s the quickest on the trigger.
Miles leads us into a room and immediately starts firing. I tighten my finger on the trigger and when I enter the room, my eyes quickly take in my surroundings. Nothing can prepare me for what I see.
Carson takes down a man that looks like Volkov, but that can’t be. We killed Volkov and his family three years ago. Recognizing Dmitri, one of Volkov’s most trusted men, I quickly take him out.
What the fuck is going on? How are these people alive?
I can pretty much handle anything. Hell, I’ve been shot at by kids who didn’t look old enough to read, let alone carry a gun. I’ve seen the worst of what this life has to offer – but this, the scene playing out around me, sends shockwaves through my body.
Never in my life did I expect to see Volkov again. The sight of him shudders through me. I thought we killed him. I was sure of it. I saw his burned body. I shake my head as I try to reconcile the past with the ghost in front of me.
When I’m sure all Volkov’s men have been taken out, I rush over to where Josh is lying. He’s tied to a chair that’s fallen over. I feel for his pulse but there’s nothing. Icy, cold shivers race down my spine as the finality of death hits.
“Fuck, we’re too late.” I utter words that have never crossed my lips before. I’ve never failed at anything in my life.
Realizing that I’ve let down my best friend when he needed me the most quickly makes way for anger and sorrow. Josh was more than just my best friend. He was my brother, and seeing him like this is gutting me alive.
“I have a live one!” Camden yells.
My head snaps up and I watch as he picks up a woman. Then my eyes go to the body that’s burned beyond recognition. It’s still smoldering. My eyes jump to where Miles is cutting down Mr. Woods.
Tremors of fear and shock vibrate through me, and my eyes quickly go back to the smoldering body. My stomach churns at the sight and I quickly look to my left. Amelia is busy doing CPR on Logan, and that’s when it really hits home. It’s not just Josh – it’s his family. Amelia’s eyes meet mine and she shakes her head, silently telling me that Logan is gone.
A cold dread sets into my bones. I rush to my feet and run over to Camden. The second I get a clear view of her face, my heart constricts painfully from pure relief. It’s Riley.
“Let me take her. Make sure every one of these fuckers are dead. Bring Josh and his family.”
Camden nods. “We’ll take care of things here. Get her to safety.”
We’re careful as I take Riley from him.
As I rush out of the room I call, “Amelia, you’re with me.” I don’t wait and make my way back to the SUV’s, being on the lookout for any form of danger.
Amelia is our team medic. I can’t risk taking Riley to a hospital until I’m sure Volkov really has been taken care off. I’ve killed the man twice now, and I just can’t wrap my head around the mess.
I’ve already failed Josh once. I won’t fail him again.
Josh and I had a deal. He’d take care of my family should something happen to me, and I’d take care of his. We made that promise to each other back when we were still serving. After my mother passed away, the team became my family, and Josh would’ve taken over from me if anything happened to me. I know he would have sacrificed his life for any of the team members. I swallow down the grief as it wells up thick and dark inside me.
I can’t believe he’s gone. I can’t believe I was too late. I fucked up so badly, and it cost the life of the person I loved most in this world.
Riley is the last of Josh’s family and I’ll be damned if I don’t honor my promise to Josh.
When we reach the SUV’s, Amelia gets in the back. I’m careful as I hand Riley over to her care. I rush to get into the driver side and quickly start the engine. I speed away from the building, not sure if there’s still any danger out there, but I can’t take any chances, not with Riley’s life hanging in the balance.
I keep checking the mirrors to make sure we’re not being followed, and once I’m satisfied that we didn’t pick up a tail, I glance at Amelia. “How’s she doing?”
“Her throat is torn to shreds. She took a bullet, but we might just be in luck as it struck shy of her left shoulder. Hopefully it didn’t do too much damage, but I won’t know until I get in there.” Her tone is completely professional. That’s what makes Amelia so great at what she does, she works best under pressure.
I grab the radio on my shoulder when Miles’ voice crackles over it.
“Where to?”
“Colorado. Tell the team they should be on high alert. I’d recommend they bring their families along and you should do the same. We don’t know what’s going on and can’t risk another fuck-up like this. The fucker took out Josh and his family. Get your sister and get your ass up there. Make sure everyone covers their tracks.”
“Sure thing. Sky is going to have my balls for this, but we’ll be there,” Miles says. I can only hope that the rest of the team and their families will make it to the safe house without any casualties.
I slam a fist into the wheel as anger once again rages through me.
“Fuck! How did that fucker get by our security? How is he even alive? I saw his burned remains with my own eyes. The tests came back positive that it was him. They said the teeth from the burned body were an exact match. I don’t understand any of it! Where did we slip up?” I check the mirrors again, just to be sure.
“How did Volkov get Josh and his family?” I slam my fist against the wheel again as frustration and disappointment burn a hole inside of me.
Something just doesn’t feel right. Somewhere I’m missing something big … something vital to our safety.
Riley~
I come to, feeling groggy and out of it. I hear the calming sound of rain pitter-pattering against the window, and for a moment I stare at the drops trickling down the glass.
I shift slightly and the movement makes a hollow pain come to life in my chest. It feels as if there’s a ton weighing down on my chest and left shoulder.
I take in my surroundings, confused about where I am. The one wall is made up of large windows. Peach colored curtains are tied back, giving me an amazing view of the rain falling. In the distance I can see mountains.
Mountains? Am I dreaming?
When I move my right arm I feel something tug at it, and that’s when I see the IV going into the back of my hand. There’s a bag with some sort of fluid hanging from a stand that’s been situated right next to the bed.
Am I in a hospital?
My mind is heavy and I fight to try and stay awake, but it’s a battle I lose as the darkness drags me under.
When I wake up again, it’s dark outside the window. Did I imagine mountains earlier or was it a dream? The lamp next to the bed is switched on, lending a soft glow to the elegantly decorated room. The colors are all soft tones of peaches and cream. I don’t recognize anything, though.
The sound of a door opening yanks me from the drowsy state I’m in. My eyes race around the room until I find it, and I watch as a woman comes in. She’s dressed casually in jeans and a black t-shirt. She’s got another bag for the IV stand in her hand. Her hair is short and light blonde and she has vibrant green eyes. I can’t remember ever seeing her before.
I try to push myself into a sitting position. A body-numbing pain tears through my chest, spreading down my left arm. I can’t keep the hoarse groan from slipping over my dry lips which sets my throat on fire.
Shit, my whole body hurts.
“Riley, don’t try to move yet,” the woman says calmly. I frown at her, not sure if I’m supposed to recognize her. “You’ve been out of it for four days. It’s goin
g to take some time for you to get back on your feet.”
Four days!
What is she talking about?
“My name is Amelia Quinn. I’m the team medic and will be taking care of you until you’re all better.”
Team medic?
For another peaceful moment my mind is blank and foggy, and then the first flash slams into the back of my eyes. Memories crash into me, making my chest close up with an unbearable pain.
Dad.
Mom.
Logan.
Josh.
My family.
A strangled sound rips painfully from my throat. I turn onto my side and sit up as the agony continues to tear through me. I try to move away from all the hurt, but it digs its claws deep into me. A scream explodes from me, sounding almost like a wail. I start to rock, trying to ease the extreme agony that’s flooring me.
My family is dead.
Bile pushes up my throat and I start to heave. Rasping, empty croaks shudder through my body.
“Let me help,” Amelia whispers. She takes hold of my long black strands and holds it away from my face with one hand. Her other hand is moving gently up and down my back and it makes everything hurt even more. It hurts so much that someone is being nice to me right now. I took my family for granted and now they’re gone.
Agony suffocates me until I’m gasping for air. It feels as if there are thorns stuck in my throat and I can’t get any words out to tell Amelia to stop.
When I’m done retching, she places a wet, cool cloth to my forehead. It feels good on my feverish face. She does this twice more before she whispers, “Lie back down. You need to rest.”
I need to rest.
I want to scream. I want to hit something. I want to break everything around me until it all looks as distorted as the ruins of my life.
I want to ask questions so I can make sense of everything that happened, but I can’t manage a word. I close my eyes instead, trying to find that dark place where the unbearable pain can’t follow me.
I can’t sleep. I manage to doze off every now and then, but it’s never for long.
I don’t keep track of the days. Why should I? My life has become a series of tormenting memories.
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