“I think he was, until the plane crash. My sister, Caran, bless her soul, was so upset about her daughter that she didn’t really think about the impact on Zachary, beyond the practical matters, I mean. And Peter was one of those very reserved, reticent people who didn’t know how to show emotion. I never understood what my sister saw in him, to be honest. She was a much more open person—or she had been before Helena was killed. Poor Zachary was very much left to himself.”
“He said…he didn’t want to cry because it would upset his grandma and his grandpa told him not to.”
Leo shook his head. “I'm sure that’s true. These things scar a child, and we don’t realise. I could have done so much more. I regret it every day, Julian.”
“Leo…did you know he actually hates people touching him? To the point of panic?”
“I suspected something like that, but I didn’t realise it was so severe. That’s dreadful.”
“Do you think we can help?”
Leo sighed. “One deals with phobias by desensitisation. In Zachary’s case, I doubt he’d ever allow anyone to try. You’ve done more than most would in that regard, Julian. He lets you get much closer than anyone else.”
“He says he still hates it, only not as much as with strangers. That’s not much to work with.”
“No, but it’s all we’ve got.” He closed the photo album. “I’ll give this to him after lunch. But I have something else I want to talk to you about. Zachary will most likely be going back to the office on half-days next week. There’s no reason for him not to take a normal taxi now, since he doesn’t need the wheelchair. I think your days as a chauffeur are over and that ugly car should be sold.”
Already? He’d known this had to come to an end but it had gone so fast. “I’ll sort that out. So…I guess I better be thinking about returning to the office too.”
Leo rested his chin on his hand, his green eyes sharp as his great-nephew’s. “Hmmm. Well, that’s what I want to talk to you about. I’ve got rather used to having you around, and Kevin was saying at lunch the other day that I should have had a personal assistant years ago. How would you like to work for me full-time, instead of the law firm?”
“Really? Like, permanently?”
“Yes. Terms and conditions at least as favourable as what you’re on now, and three months’ notice either way. If I pass on, I’ll arrange to cover your salary for a further six months on top of notice.”
“Don’t talk about that, Leo.”
“My dear boy, I have to be practical. Well?”
“Yes. God…yes, I’d love it! Doing what I do now?”
“Yes, and much more, because I can transfer all the business administration to you as well. Between you and Zachary, I can cover everything that I need to, and I’d much rather it was handled within the family. Is that agreeable to you?”
“Of course!” He gave Leo a quick hug. “Thank you! Pyon! Guess what?”
The two kems came over for cuddles and scritching, while Leo beamed with the smug look of a man who’d sprung a delightful surprise. “And I have another proposal, though this may not suit you so well.” Julian put Pyon down and paid attention. “I need someone to live in with me. I am getting older, and the fact you were around when I had the stroke, probably meant the difference between walking around and being disabled. I could advertise for a live-in aide—but I’d much rather have you. What do you say? Companionship in exchange for rent and all found? Absolutely no other duties other than the PA ones. I don’t need a housekeeper, I just need someone around.”
“Are you kidding? Yes!”
Leo grinned. “Oh good—I was dreading having to find someone I liked as well as you. So I can finally move out of Zachary’s apartment and let the poor man have his privacy back.”
“Um…what about my social life? I do have one—well, kind of.”
“Ah. Yes. Perhaps I was getting ahead of myself. How about if you’re to be out all night, we hire an attendant. And if you fall madly in love with some handsome young man, then we can discuss the transitional arrangements then. You could sublet your apartment, so you don’t lose that security. Think about it, Julian. That’s not so important as you being my PA. I’d fight much harder for that.”
“I will.” But already he had accepted the idea he wanted to live in this spacious apartment with the man who’d become his closest friend over the last few weeks. It would mean compromises—he’d never dream of bringing someone home—but it hadn’t been a problem in the past. If he could hang onto his old apartment, then if it didn’t work out, he’d have a fall back. “Have you told Zachary about all this? Won’t he think I'm invading his space?”
“I suspect he won’t be as resistant as you think. I’ll speak to him over lunch—perhaps just the two of us, just this once?”
“Sure…uh, when do you want me to move in?”
“Tonight, if you like. The second bedroom’s all ready.”
“Okay—you talk to him, I’ll go home and grab some stuff. It’ll make a difference not to have to stagger home each night.”
“Yes, I know.” Leo’s eyes were concerned now. “We’ve been overworking you, and I'm sorry.”
“I’ve loved every minute of it.” And he meant it. Meeting Leo had been one of the best things to ever happen to him.
Chapter 9
Leo gave him a key and told him to bring as much or as little back as he liked, and to get a taxi at Leo’s expense. But while Julian ate lunch as he packed a suitcase, Leo called him.
“My dear boy, would you mind dallying over at your place for a little while? Zachary and I have things to discuss and we need to be alone while we do that.”
“Sure. Just call me when you’re done.”
Julian hung up. Had Zachary vetoed the idea? If the man had been hoping to get rid of Julian’s constant presence once his leg was completely mended, then Leo’s announcement wouldn’t be good news.
He fretted, having already started to think about working for Leo and living in his apartment, and now facing the possibility that none of it would happen because of Zachary and his phobias. Pyon caught his mood, and for the first time in ages, started to play up, running around the apartment like a mad thing, and getting into cupboards and making a mess. Julian caught him up and gave him lots of cuddles and attention which calmed him down, but couldn’t quite make himself ask his kem to go inside, because sitting on his own appealed less than chasing Pyon around and trying to make him behave.
It was close to five when Leo called back. “I know it’s late, Julian, but Zachary and I would love you to come back for supper. Are you staying over tonight?”
“Is that okay?”
“Of course. You surely didn’t think…Zachary thought it was a wonderful idea. All of it. Come back, Julian. All’s well, I promise you.”
Julian almost burst into tears with raw relief. Instead, he swung Pyon around and around. “It’s okay! Everything’s okay!”
Pyon was so excited he ran around the room a dozen times before he stopped, chirped and then demanded to be picked up again and held close. Julian indulged him until they were both a little calmer, and then quickly finished his packing. It really was happening.
He caught a taxi to the other building, dumped his stuff in Leo’s apartment, then came downstairs. He let himself into the apartment, and found Leo and Zachary sitting at the dining table, looking at Leo’s photos. At least—Leo was looking. Zachary was petting Linis and staring into space, eyes red and distant.
“Hey—is this a bad time?” He came to Zachary’s side. “You okay?”
Zachary nodded. “We were…just talking about my…Mama and Papa. I…” His voice trailed off.
“I hadn’t realised Zachary had no photos at all of his parents,” Leo said, filling the silence.
“There were so many things I didn’t know,” Zachary whispered. “So many things.” Linis sat and began to lick at Zachary’s chin. Pyon whined and Julian let him go—his kem leapt onto Zachary’s s
houlder so he could nuzzle at his hair. Julian wished he had a kem’s freedom so he could offer some comfort. Zachary looked devastated.
Julian pulled up a chair. “You were a happy kid.”
“I must have been. I don’t remember. I don’t remember anything before the crash. Not much, anyway. I feel…could you both excuse me? Linis, Pyon, I need to get up, I'm sorry.” He grabbed his crutches and hobbled away towards his bedroom. The three kems ran after him. Julian hoped they’d help.
A grim-faced Leo gathered the photos into the albums and closed it.
“Are you sure you wouldn’t like me to go?” Julian asked. “He’s upset.”
“Yes, he is. And he needs his friends, so please don’t leave, Julian. I…didn’t mean to expose him so much. I had no idea that Caran had left me all the photos she had. I’d always assumed Zachary had a collection—we just never discussed it. We’ve never talked about any of this before. So much wasted time.
“Will he be all right?”
“I hope so. He’s upset, but he was grateful to know more about his parents, and Caran and Peter’s feelings, and…just how he fitted in. You see, his understanding of the situation hadn’t really moved on from what he understood as a child. No one had explained, or helped him work it out. His own reserve didn’t help of course, and Caran just never got over Helena’s death. Peter didn’t either, I suspect. I know they loved Zachary—I wish they’d found a way to show him that more than they did.”
“My parents loving me…it’s been there all my life. I’ve never doubted it, even when they’ve driven me crazy. He must have been so lonely.”
“Yes. Which is why I won’t let him be alone now. I think he knows it’s bad for him. I asked him if you should come over and he said yes. He could have refused. He’s learning, Julian.”
“He’s really glad I'm moving in?”
“Yes. Surprisingly so.” Leo smiled. “He pretends it’s so Linis will have company, of course.”
Julian grinned. “Of course. Are you sure yourself? I'm a slob.”
“And I can hire a cleaner, or someone with a shovel if necessary. I wasn’t any tidier at your age, my dear boy. I'm looking forward to it. I’ve been alone for too long, and I hate it. Would you put that up on that bookcase for me? Thank you. Now—he said he wanted to cook but I think that’ll wait another day. Let’s choose a nice meal and then a decent film to enjoy afterwards.”
The DVD player had been a new addition when Zachary was released from hospital, and though he despised television, Leo had introduced him to foreign cinema. Julian, who in his student days had regularly haunted the art film houses, had rediscovered his taste for it. Now he’d be able to watch a film with them both and only have to get as far as the stairs to go home. Luxury.
Zachary emerged when the food was delivered. He looked very much calmer, though tired, and thanked Leo for organising the food. “I want to cook tomorrow,” he insisted.
“Of course, my dear fellow. Julian’s in need of lessons too—he’s hoping you’ll teach him some of your techniques.”
Julian, who had mentioned nothing of the sort, just smiled and agreed, and mentally reminded himself that Leo was a conniving old bastard and he, Julian, was a mere amateur in the manipulating Zachary stakes. Zachary, though surprised at Julian’s interest, was more than happy to agree to show him whatever he wanted to know.
“And you should make him do the shopping,” Leo added. “Learning where to buy the best ingredients is part of the secret of being a good cook.”
“He can come with me…er, if you’d like,” Zachary added, uncharacteristically hesitant.
“Sure. We can get a walk in and I can find out what’s what at the same time.” And he’d better learn to feign a genuine interest in cooking or Zachary would realise what Leo had done. The old bastard.
Zachary always let the two of them choose the film, having no experience in the matter, and willing to give almost anything a try, at least once. Tonight, more subdued than usual, he didn’t even look at what they’d chosen, just taking up his usual position on the sofa. Julian sat on one armchair, Leo on the other. Leo started the movie up, and they settled back to watch.
Not five minutes later, Linis, who’d been lying peacefully on Zachary’s lap, sat up and whined, before stalking along the sofa, coming to rest on the arm closest to Julian’s chair. He whined again, and stuck out a paw to bat at Julian’s arm. Pyon, who’d also been lying quietly, jumped up off Julian’s lap, ran across the floor, and leapt onto Zachary’s lap.
“What the hell?” Julian asked, looking at Zachary. “Linis, shoo.” The kem continued to stare at him, and batted at him again, this time with a hint of claws. “What do you want?”
Linis turned around, ran across the sofa to Zachary, head butted him, and then ran back to Julian, whining and batting him. Leo laughed. “I would say Linis thinks you should be sitting closer to Zachary.”
“Silly kem. Run away.” But Linis wouldn’t, and he wouldn’t shut up either. The whining was getting on Julian’s nerves. He finally looked at Zachary, who seemed as bewildered as Julian felt. “Do you mind?”
“It’s worth a try. Linis, what’s wrong with you? Leave Julian alone, please.”
But his kem ignored him, and actually hooked Julian’s sleeve with his claws and tugged. Julian picked him up and carried him over to the sofa, settling down at the very end, trying hard not to encroach on Zachary’s space. “Happy now?” he asked Linis as he set the big kem down.
Apparently not, because the whining continued until Julian moved close enough to Zachary that Linis could lie on the sofa, stretched out between the two men, his head on Zachary’s lap and his tail and back legs on Julian. “Has he ever done anything like this before?” Julian asked.
“Never. Linis, that looks very undignified.” Linis merely twitched his tail. Pyon, taking his cue, stretched out alongside his friend. Only Nuji retained some common sense, sitting on Leo’s lap and squeaking in amusement at the antics on the sofa.
Zachary shook his head at his kem. “If you’re quite finished…Uncle Leo, would you mind rewinding? Someone was distracting me.”
But Linis was still not happy. Julian had kept his hands off the kem’s body, mindful of the effect on Zachary. Linis had other ideas, digging his back feet into Julian and whacking him with his tail and doing everything but sitting up and shouting for Julian to pet him. Julian sighed and stroked both kems. Linis settled down immediately.
“You mind?” he whispered at Zachary.
“I’ll survive,” his friend said dryly. “Linis, you’re being a pest.” His kem ignored that remark as being beneath him. When Zachary started to pet him as well, Linis trilled quietly.
Julian couldn’t relax for a good while after that, worried about Zachary’s reaction to Julian touching Linis. But gradually he realised whatever sensations he received through his kem seemed to be helping the man. Zachary’s posture eased, and the hands moving over Pyon and Linis’s fur showed no tension. He doubted Zachary was entirely absorbed in the film—he seemed too distracted for that—but Julian could detect no sign of distress or embarrassment.
Eventually he just concentrated on the long but excellent film. As the credits rolled, he turned to Zachary to ask him what he thought—and found the man had quietly fallen asleep, head turned against the back of the sofa, his face soft and relaxed.
“He’s been out for at least an hour,” Leo whispered, smiling. “I wondered if you’d notice.”
“The movie was so good…I should wake him up.”
“Yes. You do that. I’ll see you upstairs.”
Julian waited until Leo left, hoping the slight noise might rouse Zachary—but the man slumbered on. “Linis, you try.”
The kem yawned and gave Julian a ‘Me? You want me to do your dirty work?’ look. So was no help. Julian finally had to resort to giving Zachary a gentle push on the shoulder. “Hey, Zachary—show’s over.”
Zachary woke with a start, blinking in the
dim light. “Oh…I slept?”
“Yes, you did. Leo’s gone to bed. You should too.”
“Yes.” But he made no move except to hold Linis close to his chest, his expression sad. “I was dreaming. About…Mama.”
“Was it nice?”
“Yes. It was. I just…haven’t dreamed about her since I was a child.”
“The photos?”
“Yes. I…it…it was strange. I felt…almost like it was just new to me. Like it hadn’t been more than twenty years.”
“You cried for them.”
Zachary nodded. “I felt rather foolish.”
“I don’t think so.” It was rather curiously intimate, this quiet conversation about such a personal thing, in the darkened living room. It surprised Julian that Zachary would even speak of this to him, but he felt the man wanted…something…from him. “You didn’t cry for your grandparents either, did you?”
“No. Because…I don’t know why, exactly. I just…thought it wasn’t right. That Grandfather would disapprove.”
“Your granddad isn’t you.” He reached behind him and turned on the little table lamp. Pyon walked over onto his lap and looked up, as if waiting for Julian to get moving. “Will you be okay tonight? Leo would sleep down here if you wanted. Or I could, since he’s got that medical alert thing. I don’t need to be in the apartment itself.”
Zachary sat up a little. “No…it’s enough you’re both upstairs. Close but…”
“Not too close?”
“Yes. I have to admit I was relieved when Uncle Leo told me what you and he had arranged. It’s the perfect solution for him—but for you?”
“For me too. Come on, let me help you up.”
He kept his grasp impersonal and brief, letting go as soon as Zachary had his feet under him. “Okay, see you tomorrow. If you need anything…I keep my mobile in my room. You can call me, you won’t wake him up.”
“I'm perfectly fine, Julian.” But before Julian could take offence at the cool words, Zachary smiled slightly. “I appreciate…the thought.”
A Fluffy Tale Page 12
