by Inelia Benz
“Sorry señor, I’m afraid we cannot serve alcohol to minors, could I interest you in a soda or milkshake?”
Chapter 2
Sean was the most handsome man Jennifer had ever met. He was tall, dark and had a spark in his dark blue eyes that made her heart race. He was her twin soul, she had seen him in her dreams as a child, she’d read a book that said twin souls saw each other in dreams and visions, years before they met sometimes.
It was lashing down outside, she looked at her watch and wondered if he would come, but with this rain it was unlikely.
The shop was always quiet on rainy days. The clock ticked away the minutes.
Another batch of multimedia books had arrived, it would be a while before they sold them, but her mother insisted on getting the latest thing, even if the rest of the town hadn’t caught up yet..
The door opened.
Sean entered the bookshop and pretended to be interested in the religious section. Jennifer’s heart did a summersault in her chest, her hands trembled with excitement. She carried on separating the latest orders and casually made her way over to her mother.
The rain changed direction, hitting the window head on. She was going to get soaked.
The clock chimed the hour.
Sean moved on to the humor section.
“It seems rather quiet today, is it alright if I go for the afternoon? I was thinking of going to the library,” Jennifer asked her mother while scrutinizing the order list.
“Of course my love, although I do wish you would warn me with more time in the future.”
“Sorry about that, I want to do some research on setting up a web page,” she said and ran to the coat hanger, took her bag and walked to the door, passing so close to her lover she was able to breathe the scent of wet clothes mixed with the aftershave she had given him.
She quickly put on her coat and walked into the heavy rain, which hit her head on.
“Jennifer,” called her mother, “I rather you took the bus in this rain, you can collect your bike tomorrow,” she said handing her over some money and pulling her hood up over her head.
“Okay, mom,” she said blushing with embarrassment, “please don’t treat me like a child, I am 23 for God’s sake.”
”I know darling, I can’t help myself.”
Jennifer put the money in her pocket and ran down the street toward the bus stop.
In the shop the young man paid for a small pocket book of humorous anecdotes before leaving.
Jennifer waited for him round the corner and grabbed him as he walked past. They kissed for much too long and then run down the street from tree to tree trying to stay off the rain. It wasn’t that Jennifer didn’t like kissing him, she loved it, but somehow it felt strange, wrong, but she didn’t know why, couldn’t put her finger on it. She had put it down to the fact that even though she had received many offers before Sean, he was the first man he had gone out with. Still, she didn’t like kissing him too long.
“I love you,” Sean said to the girl of his life while pushing back some long red strands of hair from her face, looking into her green eyes, but instead of kissing her again he stood back in surprise.
“What’s wrong?” She asked, terrified that he had guessed her thoughts about kissing.
“I don’t know. It was like I could see myself looking through your eyes, like you were me or something. It’s okay now, it was probably just my imagination,” he said hugging her.
Jennifer hugged him back relieved; it had nothing to do with her thoughts at all. He was so warm, so strong. She could feel his muscles under his clothes, he was trembling.
“Are you okay?”
“It’s nothing. It just brought back an old memory, I had a twin brother. I always thought I could remember him but I was told he died at childbirth, with my mother. But I remember looking into a face just like mine when I was very small. They said it was just wishful thinking.”
“Your mother and brother died at childbirth?”
“Yes, but it’s okay you know, I never really met them so I shouldn’t miss them.”
“Did your father bring you up?”
“No, some other people did, I was never told who my father was.”
“I’m so sorry,” she said and hugged him tighter.
“Would you like some chips?” He said as though nothing had happened.
She looked up at him, the sadness was gone, his face as happy and excited as she was.
“I’d love to,” she said smiling. One of her most favorite thing in the world was chips in a cold and rainy summer’s day. Sean always seemed to know what she liked, or maybe he liked the same things she did. They were one hundred percent compatible.
Skerries was a small town north of Dublin, and most people knew her mother, so when they arrived at the chip shop Jennifer waited under the bus shelter while Sean got their chips.
She wanted to keep her affair as quiet as possible for as long as possible, there was no privacy in a small town and as soon as word got round that she had a boyfriend they would start planning the wedding.
“I didn’t know whether you liked vinegar so I got one with and one without,” he said when he got back.
“With,” she answered.
He handed her one of the hot packages and started opening his.
The clouds parted letting out a jet of sunlight, a large rainbow crossed the sky, “the rain stopped,” she said, “why don’t we go and eat them by the beach?” A seagull cried on queue.
This is like a dream, she thought.
The sunlight shone on the freshly rained grass, on the houses, the trees, giving the landscape an aura of silvery magic. They set their coats on a bench and sat overlooking the sea pecking at each other’s chips and kissing the salt off each other’s lips.
“You taste nice with salt and vinegar,” Sean said to her taking her in his arms and kissing her passionately. She felt an inner energy begging for more, she wanted to control it but couldn’t.
She returned the kiss with vigor, pressing against him.
Sean reached under her cardigan, his hand felt so strong against her skin. No man had ever touched her like that before. If this was what a man touching her waist felt like, then she could understand why people did such silly things over sex. His hand worked its way from her waist to her breasts.
“No,” she said pulling away.
“I’m sorry,” Sean said taking his hand away, he was flustered and upset, “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, I love you, I don’t want to do anything that would upset you,” he added.
She breathed in, then out.
“I mean not here, and we have to take precautions.”
“Precautions?”
“You have to get… well, you know.”
“Get what?”
“A condom Sean, you have to get condoms from the chemist before we can make love.”
“So you are not angry at me?”
“Of course not silly, what do you take me for? I love you, I want you to be the… well, I mean you are… just go to the chemist will you? I’ll meet you by your place, it’s best if no one sees us arriving together.”
She watched him walk toward Main Street and felt panic take over her, what was she doing? She felt frightened, what if she couldn’t do it? She wanted to do it, she was the only twenty three year old in all of Ireland to still be a virgin, and it was the twenty first century after all. She had done the right thing, sent him for condoms, it gave her time to think, but she didn’t want to think, if she thought too much she would run away and hide under her bed. What if she started screaming and moaning like those women on the movies? How would she be able to control that?
Once she thought he’d had a fair advantage to buy the contraceptives and get to the bed-sit she got up to leave, but her legs had turned to jelly, “pull yourself together Jennifer,” she said to herself. After all it wasn’t like she was going to be the first woman ever to do this, everyone had done it. Yet something inside he
r was pulling her apart, one side was making her go ahead while the other felt wrong about it. “Stop being silly,” she said to herself, breathed in then out, and started walking toward Sean’s bed-sit.
Everyone seemed to be looking at her. They stared as though they knew what she was up to. No it couldn’t be, it must be her imagination, she thought, yes, her imagination. She would act casual, head up, arms swinging, yes. That was it, confident. Act confident and confidence arrives.
The bed-sit was right across the other side of town. Everyone seemed to have come out to watch her walking to her lover’s house.
“Hi there Mrs. Crow!”
“Hello Jennifer, nice bit of sunshine we’re having,”
“Yes, lovely. Goodbye.”
“Say hello to your mother for me won’t you.”
“Yes, I will.”
Another two streets and she would be there.
“Hi Jenny, not in the shop today then?”
“Oh, hi Sinead, no, going to the library to get some information on programming web pages.”
“But the library is on the other side of town.”
“Yes, have to get a book I lent a friend of mine first, have to get it back today, she lives up here.”
“You are such a book worm Jenny, you should get out more. A group of us are getting together tonight down at Carper’s, just a few drinks and maybe we’ll drive into Dublin to a club. You are welcome to come along if you like.”
“Thanks, but I really have to get on with that web page. We are placing the shop on the internet, we could get orders from all over the world!”
“Ok, well, I don’t really know much about that stuff, but it sounds like a good idea. You know where we’ll be if you change your mind.”
“Sounds cool, I’ll try and make it over. Bye then.”
“Bye.”
She’d had to walk past the bed-sit.
She waited round the corner until Sinead was out of sight, checked to see no one else was around and ran back to Sean’s front door.
Jennifer worked at the bookstore her mother ran and three times a week she did shopping as a voluntary service for some local pensioners like Mrs. Crow. They all thought she was a wonderful young girl.
She knew the dangers of unprotected sex such as AIDS and unwanted pregnancies, and had heard the ads on TV and had read about it in the papers. But a condom breaking is something that happened to other people, not her.
So when Sean came back into the room looking sheepish she didn’t think to ask him what was wrong. She just thought he was embarrassed about what they had done, what they had done three times already. Irish boys must be the only boys in the world to be virgins in their twenties, she thought.
At first, when he said he didn’t know what to do next she thought he was joking, but by his face and tearful eyes she realized it was true. Fancy that, her of all people teaching a man how to make love. Good job she’d read about it. She had also read it would be an experience she would never forget, but she felt bad now. It wasn’t that she didn’t love Sean, she did, she was head over heels for him, but making love with him just felt wrong, like kissing. She wondered if there was something wrong with her, maybe she didn’t have enough female hormones or something. She’d get a book about it.
He jumped on the bed and held her tightly.
“This is like a dream,” she said hugging him back.
Monday morning was clear and warm, Jennifer had some cereal and went to get her bike from the shed, she’d collected it from her mother’s shop the day before, it was her job to clean the shop on Sundays, and she was able to spend all afternoon away from home without her mom batting an eyelid. She smiled to herself. She would be meeting Sean again at lunchtime.
But Sean was waiting for her outside the shop when she got there, he looked very upset.
“I have to go to an interview today,” he said quickly, taking her hand in his, “I was wondering if you would lend me your ring for good luck,”
His sense of urgency worried her. He looked so nervous, he’d been looking for a part time job for a while now, and this was his first interview. She smiled and handed him her ring, she wished she could kiss him, but Mrs. Laire was staring at them from the clothes shop across the road.
“I love you,” she whispered loud enough for only him to hear.
“Oh, Jennifer, my love,” he said and reached over to kiss her. She pulled back and tried to look casual.
“Sorry,” she whispered, “I want us to be a secret for as long as possible. You have no idea what it’s like, living in a small town.”
He looked down at the floor, he was clearly very distressed. She regretted her thoughtlessness and took his face in her hands. She was about to kiss him but Sean moved away this time.
He kissed each hand in turn and stroked her face. Then turned and left.
She looked across the road and saw a large grin on Mrs. Liare face.
She watched him as he disappeared down the street, he was very upset. If only she could have given him a good luck kiss, she thought as she walked into the shop, after all the cat was out of the bag now anyway. Hopefully her mother wouldn’t start planning the wedding yet.
Sean turned the corner, broke down and cried. It had been a long time since he had cried and he felt quite foolish, but he loved that girl and couldn’t bear the thought of never seeing her again.
He cried for the life they wouldn’t have, he cried for his broken heart, he cried for the contemn she would feel for him when she realized he had gone. When she realized she was pregnant. He cried for not being strong enough to fight them, keep her safe. He cried for the baby he would never meet.
He sat by the curb and cried until there were no more tears to cry, he then got up and put the ring on his little finger.
He wanted to take a lock of her hair but the Old Ones might take it off him and then they would be able to locate her. No, he would take her ring, they wouldn’t take her ring as it was made of metal and they couldn't go near metal.
He breathed his last breath of freedom and disappeared into a tree.
Jennifer looked at her watch, he was late. Day trippers had already gone. The only people left in the beach were some of the locals taking their evening walk. The sun had set and twilight bathed the sand, Jennifer had read somewhere that twilight was the gap between the worlds. She looked up and down the beach once again. Her mother would be closing the shop soon and would expect her to be home by the time she got there.
She looked down at her mobile phone, no missed calls, and no messages. She didn’t quite know why she bothered looking at it really, Sean didn’t have a phone.
She got up, picked up her bike and walked home.
The next day was worse, she had left early for work and called on Sean’s bed-sit, the man had told her he had paid his bills and returned his keys the previous day. The day after that Jennifer told her mother she was going to go out with some friends and waited for Sean at their usual place until well after dark.
Thinking back she realized he had left his bed-sit before he came to the shop, he knew he was leaving yet he hadn’t said goodbye. Why?
Days went slowly past. After a week her heart was so heavy she didn’t get out of bed.
“I heard there was a flu virus going round,” her mother said, “it starts with the sniffles and a fever.”
“I don’t have the flu, mom.”
Esther felt Jennifer’s forehead, then took her pulse, “you don’t have a temperature,” she said puzzled, “I’ll call the doctor, make an appointment,” she added. There were many things Esther could cope with but having her only child sick was not one of them.
“No mom, it’s alright, I’m just... ate something bad or something, I just need to rest for a couple of days, I’ll be fine.” How would she be able to tell the doctor she was heartbroken because her boyfriend had left without a word? No she would just take a couple of days off, she felt exhausted.
The next week was worse than the firs
t, she didn’t think it possible but it was true. She lost her appetite and started getting sick all day long. All she wanted to do was sleep, but when she did manage to fall asleep terrible nightmares plagued her mind. She saw herself being led by an old man, a ruthless, evil man. He would travel through the world taking whatever he wanted, killing or maiming anyone who dared get in his way. Joitan was his name, “you and me joined forever,” he would say to her and she would be pleased, honored. The nightmares would leave her tired, breathless and covered in cold sweat.
The weeks passed and the nightmares subsided, she started feeling herself again, started getting back to her old routine.
On Tuesdays she usually got the shopping for Mrs. Crow, another volunteer had been doing it while she was sick, she went to fetch the list and money during lunch. Mrs. Crow took one look at her and asked her to come into the house.
“How’s the nausea?” she asked as a matter of fact.
“Very bad,” Jennifer answered before she had time to think.
Mrs. Crow tapped the sofa beside her and poured some tea.
“How old are you now Jennifer?”
“Twenty three, Mrs. Crow, twenty four in a few months.”
“That’s good. At least you are over the age of consent. Being a single mother is hard enough without age coming into it. If you were younger they would probably try to get the baby adopted.”
Jennifer was about to ask, what baby? But the look in Mrs. Crow said it all. She felt the blood drain from her face, “no, I’m not… I mean I’m just upset because...”
“And the boy... is he around?”
Jennifer felt her hands and feet go cold and numb, her heart began to throb, tears welled behind her eyes.
Mrs. Crow took her in her arms, “there, there my child. You’ll be just fine.”
Chapter 3
The problem with having such a young body was that it was addictive.
Owen had thought about speeding up the aging process but it wasn’t advisable to do so for any length of time, it was better to let the body age or get younger at its own pace, the mortal pace.
Now he found he wanted to stay looking twenty forever, this society loved youth. It worshipped youth. Women flocked to him like bees to honey.
