My eyes search his, watching for the moment when he leans in.
His eyes search mine. But then a cheer erupts from the group of free runners a little farther down the street. We both turn our heads to the sound and I spot Flynn standing a few feet back from the group, watching me. My stomach flips and flops and I suck in my breath. It’s only a split second before he runs after the rest of them. But when I turn back, the moment is gone and Joel has pulled back, standing aside so I can get in the car.
A pit forms in my stomach. Did I just fuck this up?
On the way home, he talks a little about his work, and I answer questions about mine. But in my head, I can't stop wondering if that stupid parkour group ruined the mood of the evening. Stupid Flynn.
Seriously, what kind of grown man goes running through parking lots and flipping from car roofs for fun? Doesn't he have anything better to do? Like a job, for instance? Then I realise that Flynn probably doesn't even have a job since free running and imposing on my life seems to be all he can do.
“Is everything all right?” Joel asks, looking at me with one eyebrow raised.
His voice snaps me from my thoughts and I realise that we're sitting outside my apartment building.
“Oh, it's the wine. It's gone to my head a little.”
“With all the food you put away, I'm surprised you aren't in a coma.” He laughs.
“Did I gross you out?” I scrunch my nose up a little, forcing my annoyance at Flynn to the side. I’m here with Joel.
“No way. I was seriously impressed.”
I run a hand over the lace of my dress. “My mum used to say I had hollow legs.”
“I'd expect that you do. I’m not sure where else you’d put it.” He looks past me to my building. “Can I walk you to your door?”
A smile crosses my lips as I feel like this date is realigning with my expectations again. “You can come up if you like. I'm sure I have something for a nightcap.”
He grins and drops his gaze so I can't properly see his reaction. “I'll have to pass tonight.”
My face flushes. “Oh.”
“But maybe next time,” he adds.
My smile returns. He wants to see me again. “Sure.”
When we reach the security door, he stops and I see that this is as far as he's going to take me. I'm confused by this. I always thought guys did the whole wine and dinner thing to try and get in your front door as fast as possible.
“I had fun, Ruby. Thank you for letting me take you out tonight.” He's smiling, his hands tucked into his back pockets as he moves to step away.
I talk fast, needing to get my words out before he disappears and possibly never calls me again. Because guys lie, right? Even the ones that seem nice. “Can I ask you something?”
He stops moving. “Of course.”
“Back in the parking lot when we were about to get in the car, were you going to kiss me?”
He drops his head a little, that smile of his pushing up his cheeks in a way I'm beginning to recognise as his response to anything a little too forward. It confuses the fuck out of me, because I can't tell if he's doing it because he's shy or if he doesn’t like it when I talk this way.
See, the bad boys I'm usually attracted to don't do this. Sure, they make you question how they feel about you constantly. But when it comes to the physical stuff, if they want you, they take you. There's no questioning that look in their eyes. Their actions speak louder than any word ever could.
Joel is reserved. It took months of little looks and gentle flirtation for him to ask me out. It’s what I wanted, but now that this is happening, I feel out of my depth and I’m questioning everything.
“Did you want me to kiss you?” he asks.
My mouth opens and closes a bit like a goldfish. “Well, yeah,” I finally manage, shrugging as if to say it's no big deal when it so obviously is.
“OK,” he replies, stepping back again.
“OK?”
He nods. “Yeah.”
I stare after him in confusion as he walks down the path back to his car. “What does that even mean?”
Hitting the button on his remote, the car beeps open. “It means I'll keep that in mind.”
“For what?”
Opening the driver door, he looks at me over the roof of the car, flashing an enigmatic grin. “For next time.”
“So, we’re going out again?”
He laughs. “Goodnight, Ruby.”
Shit. Now I'm more confused than ever.
7
WITH THE TELEVISION tuned to the Morning Show, I spoon Crunchy Nut Cornflakes into my mouth and try not to dribble milk on my chin. At the same time, I spin my phone with my left hand, surreptitiously eyeing the white box in the fruit bowl.
He owes you a new phone
Joel's words from the night before urge me to reach out for it. Lifting the lid, I look at the shiny new screen. I should use it. I mean, the guy does legally have to fix or replace what his recklessness broke. It doesn't mean anything if I use it. It's not like I'm accepting a gift, more like I'm deciding not to sue the guy for causing my concentration to falter and therefore a magpie to swoop my head.
Wait.
Flynn said he climbed a tree to escape that cop. Does that mean he saw the magpie swoop me and did nothing to warn or help me?
My mouth forms a large O. That rat bastard! If I knew where he lived, I’d have half a mind to go over there and try out some of my self-defence moves on his balls.
“Ruby!” The thudding of the door hitting against the security latch accompanies Coral’s voice from outside our apartment. “When are you going to stop over-locking the apartment?” she asks when I let her in.
I shrug. “Probably never.” I gesture towards her outfit—she’s wearing the same clothes I saw her in last night. “There's a story behind this, I'm sure.”
“Shane proposed,” she blurts out the moment the door closes. She leans against it, a broad grin on her face.
“Holy shit.” I don't know what to say. The sceptic in me wonders if he only did it because he was going to lose her, and the believer in me wants to think that deep down this is what he always wanted.
“Where's your ring?” I ask, noting her naked left hand when I return to the table and spoon more cornflakes into my mouth.
She drops her bag on the couch. “I told him no.”
“You what!” Cornflakes and milk shoot out of my mouth. Embarrassed, I try to clean the mess with my hands. “I thought commitment is what you wanted.”
Coral walks over and hands me a paper towel. “It is. But not like this. I didn’t want him to propose because he was scared I would leave him.” She furrows her brows as she makes herself a cup of tea. “No, I wanted him to commit to me because he chooses me as his life partner.”
“What happened when you said no?”
She picks up her steaming mug and sits diagonally from me, lifting her teabag up and down by the string. “He was a bit shocked at first. But then we got talking—actually, we sat up all night talking—and after we both laid all our cards on the table, he's agreed to come back to London with me.”
“To London? When? I mean, wow. When?”
She meets my eyes. “Two months.”
I look down at my half-eaten bowl of cereal, suddenly not so hungry anymore. While I knew her visa was expiring, I honestly didn't take the idea of her going back to England seriously. I thought she and Shane would kiss and make up, and then she'd extend her time like she previously did—or even better, apply for permanent residency. “That soon?”
She nods and places her hand over mine. “I'll miss you.”
As much as I lament having Shane's junk all over my apartment and complain about him, I don’t want to live alone again. I'm petrified of Tony getting out of prison early and finding me. Even without that fear, I just don’t want to be alone again.
“Then don’t go.”
Smiling, she squeezes my hand a little tighter. “My family is there, Rubes. I’ve alr
eady been gone too long.”
Releasing a sigh, I press my lips together and nod. “Then I’ll miss you too.”
“What about Shane,” she asks with a grin. “Will you miss him?”
I twist my mouth to the side a little, thinking. “Probably not.”
A burst of laughter rings out between us, lasting only a couple of seconds before the sadness sets back in. “I've really loved being your friend, Ruby.”
She says it in such a way that it brings a tear to my eye, thickening my throat. “Don't talk like you’re dying. We'll still be friends.”
“I'll expect you to come and visit sometime.”
“I'll start saving right away.”
Giving my hand another squeeze, she releases me then lifts her tea to her mouth, taking a sip. “Now tell me about your date with Rocky. Did he sweep you off your feet?”
I grin and stir my spoon through my now-soggy cereal. “Kind of. He was really nice, great company, but....”
“But?”
“He didn't kiss me.”
“Seriously?”
“See, that's weird, right? He was talking like he was going to see me again, then nothing. Was I... friend-zoned?” The idea had been worrying me ever since Joel skipped a second opportunity to kiss me last night.
“I don't know. Did something happen?”
I give her a rundown of our night, presenting her with every detail I can remember. She nods along and when I get to the part about the parkour group, she sits back and says, “Oh.”
“What do you mean ‘Oh’?”
“Well, the last time you crossed paths with Flynn you caused quite the scene. If you reacted anything like that, you might have given the impression you were into someone else.”
“What are you on? How could my reaction give him that idea? I hate that stupid parkour guy.”
“That in itself is a red flag. Hate implies emotion—and strong emotion, at that.”
“You're on drugs,” I scoff. “I barely give the guy a second thought.”
She laughs and taps her finger on the open phone box. “You keep telling yourself that.”
***
When my alarm goes off on Sunday morning, going to my self-defence class is a big question mark in my mind. I haven't heard from Joel all week, and I’m nervous about facing him again. The way I see it, if I forget about learning how to protect myself, I can shut off my alarm and try to get another couple hours’ worth of valuable sleep. Or I can go and risk looking pathetic by showing up somewhere I know he’ll be, even though he obviously isn’t as interested in me as I thought he was.
That in itself confuses me. In my mind, the date had gone fantastically. We talked like old friends and flirted like people who wanted something more. We were both smiling like Cheshire cats the whole night. Then we got to the end of the date and he just walked away. I don’t get it. Guys are supposed to be interested in the fastest route to the horizontal mamba they can possibly find.
Have I lost my touch?
Or does my appeal only work on low-lives and creeps who aren’t good for me?
Getting out of bed, I stand in front of the mirror, staring at my reflection and wondering what it is about me that attracts the wrong sort of man. Is it my coloured hair? The way I do my makeup? I push and pull at my pale cheeks, pinching my pointy chin as I twist my lips from side to side. I never questioned my looks before. They were pretty much the one thing I could count on. Something about my small stature and big green eyes seemed to draw men to me who gave me a vehicle to lash out at a world that I thought was unfair.
Daddy issues, I know. He left just as I was turning from a girl to a woman. And when I asked him to stay for me, he told me that he couldn’t. At twelve years old, he made me feel as though I wasn’t enough. That’s a big thing for a girl that age. When the one man in her life who is supposed to be there no matter what isn’t. It makes her, well, reckless. Angry. Confused.
It wasn’t long before boys started to notice me.
In a way, I think I went for that type of guy because I wanted my father to realise that I needed him. I thought that the crazier I got, the more likely he’d be to come back to pull me back in line. But it didn’t work. I realised that he was never coming back when I got arrested for being in a stolen car and I wasted my one phone call on him.
I spent the night in a jail cell.
I wasn’t charged with anything. I was the passenger and had no idea the car didn’t belong to the guy I was with. Actually, I didn’t really know the guy that well to begin with.
But that taught me that I could never count on my father to protect me. He’d never be there.
That’s when I started going for those bad-boy alpha types. I thought they’d protect me with their lives if they had to. But we all know how that turned out.
Running my finger down the bridge of my nose, I note the slight bump to the left where Tony broke it. An imperfection that will forever remind me that I need to be careful about the kind of man I give my heart to.
That’s why I like Joel. He makes me feel safe. He literally teaches me how to make myself feel safe. And on top of that, he’s a good guy. He even has a job that requires a university degree. I have never dated a guy that cultured before. He’s the right kind of guy. No real danger, just strength and safety.
Turning my head from side to side, I try to work out what it is about me that turned him away. I run the whole night through my mind, over and over. And the more I think about it, the more I think that Coral was right—Flynn showing up ruined things. That man just can’t seem to stay out of my way despite the fact that I’ve made it more than obvious that I don’t want anything to do with him.
Does he think I’m just playing hard to get? Does he think that if he keeps getting in my face that somehow, I’m going to relent and go out with him? All that stuff about him not trying to be in my life is total bullshit. He’s obviously interested—how the hell else does he explain turning up in the parking lot after my date? That can’t be a coincidence; the timing was just too perfect.
Deciding that I won’t let Flynn be the reason I lose a chance at dating a good guy for a change, I pull my hair up into a high bun and get my gym gear on, telling Coral that I’ll meet her there since I need to get there early to confront Joel.
Before entering the boxing gym, I take a deep breath, turning it into a chest full of determination. Then I push through the door and run up the stairs, in a hurry to be the first one to class.
“Ruby.” Joel says my name with an edge of surprise. He frowns, looks at the floor, then clears his throat before meeting my gaze. “I wasn’t sure you’d come today.”
I step forward, my bag still on my shoulder. Clutching at the strap, my hands are sweating. “I didn’t know if you’d want me to.”
He shrugs. “It’s a free world. The fact that you’ve been dodging my calls all week doesn’t mean you aren’t entitled to keep coming here.”
About to launch into a speech about the virtues of giving me another chance, I stop and blink a few times to make sure I heard him right. “Wait. What?”
“It’s fine, Ruby. If you don’t want to see me again, I can live with that. But it would have been nice if you had answered your phone just once and told me that instead of making me feel like a dick for trying over and over because I’d convinced myself that perhaps your phone wasn’t working or you were somewhere without mobile reception.” He touches his fingers to his head briefly, that frown of his still embedded in the skin on his forehead. “I feel stupid.”
“You called me?”
“You know I did.”
“But I didn’t get any calls. I... I thought you didn’t want to see me again.”
“What do you mean you didn’t get any calls? I left messages and everything.”
I shake my head and fish my phone out of my bag, checking the recent calls list. “There’s nothing here.” In fact, there hasn’t been a call or text on my phone for a few days. That’s strange. “
You’re positive you called the right number.”
“Of course. I got your voicemail. You’re the only Ruby Garvan I know.”
Frowning, I continue tapping at my phone, checking the dates on all my last communications. “Wait,” I say. “Something is wrong. Try calling me now.”
He lifts a single brow, looking at me as if he thinks I've gone slightly mad. But he pulls out his phone. “You going to answer this time?”
I meet his eyes. “If it rings.”
For a moment, we both look at our screens as the call connects. Nothing happens on my screen, but in the quiet room, I hear my voicemail message cut in via Joel’s phone.
Relief washes over his face, his gaze softening as he lets out his breath. “Your phone is broken.” His lips quirk a little at the side.
I let out my breath. “It seems that way.”
“This changes things.”
A nervous laugh escapes my chest. “I hope so.”
“You know, this whole issue could have been avoided if you just called me. It is the twenty-first century, after all.”
Glancing down at my feet, I toe the floor. “I thought you didn't like me.”
He steps closer. “How could anyone not like you, Ruby?”
I shrug. “I don't know. When you didn't kiss me at the end of our date, and then you didn't call—well, I thought you didn't call—I thought that maybe you changed your mind.”
“It bothers you that I didn't kiss you, doesn't it?”
Pulling at my lip with my teeth, I shrug. “A bit.” I demonstrate by holding my fingers about a centimetre apart.
“Would it make you feel better if I kissed you now?” He moves so he's close enough for me to feel the warmth of his body.
I don't get to respond. The moment I look up, he sees the answer in my eyes and brings his mouth to mine. All the nerves that were twisting in my stomach turn into a swirl of butterflies that take flight throughout my body and flap their gentle wings against my skin.
I rise on my toes, his hands resting firmly on my hips as we kiss in a slow, searching fashion. When it ends, it's over too soon and I can feel the heat in my cheeks as we part. “Better?”
“That was amazing, actually.” That voice wasn’t me. It’s Coral. A skitter of giggles lets us know that we’re far from alone.
A Beautiful Danger (Beautiful #7) Page 5
