“Understood.” Smiling, I collect one more arrangement and follow him to the door. When we make it to the bottom of the stairs, it hits me—I didn’t make a snide remark about him being free to move out at any time. Then it hits me again—his two weeks are almost up. I’m not sure that I’m ready for him to go.
Once he stopped pushing so hard for me to choose him, I relaxed. And somewhere in the middle of our coexistence, my walls have fallen and I’m comfortable with him.
If only we could be friends.
If only he wasn’t hiding something huge from me.
Maybe then I could choose him....
You should choose him anyway.
That little voice inside me is going off again. My little angel and devil have been incredibly quiet lately—so quiet that I don’t recognise which voice is telling me what to do.
When we arrive at the retirement home, they’re happy to accept the flower arrangements, thanking us for being so thoughtful. We’re invited inside to the common area to visit with some of the patrons.
“We have a lot of folks who don’t have any family to visit them. Conversation helps keep their mind sharp and improve their quality of life. So, if you can spare the time, I’m sure they’ll appreciate it.”
We look at each other and at the same time say, “Sure.”
Once inside, we’re shown to a large open area with floor-to-ceiling glass windows all along one wall. The gardens can be seen, as well as an aviary of birds. There are upholstered chairs arranged around small tables where some patrons are taking tea or playing board games. I’m drawn to the large window where I find a frail-looking woman sitting alone watching the birds.
“May I sit?” I ask, gesturing to the vacant chair beside her.
“It’s a free country,” she replies, her eyes on a tiny sparrow shuffling about in the under scrub.
“I’m Ruby.” I hold out my hand to introduce myself.
Slowly, she takes it, her touch gentle and smooth. “Joan.”
“It’s nice to meet you.” I smile. She goes back to watching the little bird.
“Are you here to visit anyone in particular, Ruby?”
“No. Just visiting in general. We came to drop off some flowers.”
“From a wedding? We get a lot of wedding flowers here. People seem to think we’d enjoy sharing in their joy. But all it really does is remind us of funerals.”
“That’s what my friend said about all the flowers in our apartment.”
“Your friend?”
I nod toward Flynn, who’s sitting down with a group of men playing cards. She follows my gaze. “He’s handsome. You’re not dating?”
“No. I have a boyfriend. That’s who all the flowers are from.”
“But you live with this guy?” She releases a low whistle. “No wonder your boyfriend is sending flowers.”
“I suppose he’s a little jealous.”
“Does he have reason to be?”
I look at Flynn for long enough that he notices and smiles my way. “Yeah,” I admit, feeling safer talking to a stranger than I feel talking to myself in my head.
“You sleeping with this guy?”
“What?” I shake my head quickly. “No. None of that. I’m not like that.”
“Like what? A cheater?” She shrugs. “We all cheat in our minds. It’s human nature. My late husband used to cheat with the woman who lived at the end of our street. Then his dick got too old to stand up straight and he took too many of those Viagra pills. Terrible thing having to bury a man with a giant hard-on.”
A laugh bursts out of my throat. “Surely you’re joking?”
“Not at all. I wasn’t sad to see him go, really. But I was sad that I had to organise his funeral—that other woman loved him more than I did. But then, she didn’t have to wash his dirty underwear every day for fifty-six years.”
“Why did you stay with him?”
She shrugs. “The world was different then. We got married because that’s what you were supposed to do. These days, I think I’d have a string of suitors that I’d keep on rotation.”
I laugh. “You’ve given this a lot of thought.”
“Oh yes. I’d have a brilliant time.”
“But what about falling in love and finding your one?”
She sits back, rests her hands on her stomach and sighs. “My one... I do think about that. I wonder if it was maybe Angelo Gallo. He was this Italian boy who came to our school when I was thirteen. He barely spoke a word of English. We were all lumped in the same class back then. He and his five brothers stuck together and the Australian boys would be awful to them. Angelo took them all on, one by one, day after day, until they left him alone.” Another sigh leaves her chest. “I was so nervous around him. He was as beautiful as a man can get without losing that manly appeal. Once, he said something to me, and I still remember it. It was ‘Sei troppo bella’. It means ‘You’re beautiful’. At the time, I didn’t understand the words, but I think I understood the meaning.”
“Why didn’t you go out with him?”
“Because my parents wouldn’t have approved. Live was different and we women weren’t so brave. So I missed my chance. I hope he had a good life and wasn’t a cheating bastard like my husband was.”
“Did you ever see him again?”
“Only ever in my dreams.” She looks out the window again. “In my dreams, I was always brave. In life, not so much.” She turns back to face me. “Are you brave, Ruby?”
“I used to be. Once, I was fearless. But life taught me to be careful.”
“Fearless and brave aren’t the same thing. Brave is doing something even though it scares you. Careful people miss out on the greatest parts of life. Trust me, I know—I’m old. Old people know everything.”
With a chuckle at her words, my eyes again find Flynn. He’s laughing while a man claps him on the arm.
“Be brave, Ruby. You don’t want to be old and bitter like me because you didn’t take your chance.”
***
“Do you do the crazy parkour where you jump between the roofs of buildings?” I ask on the way back home. Flynn is in a great mood after spending most of his time playing the card game ‘Bullshit’ with the elderly gentlemen. When I left Joan to join him, he was telling them all about parkour and why he loves it as a sport.
“Sometimes,” he replies.
“And do you ever fall?”
He grins and glances at me. “I wouldn’t be here if I did.”
“Delilah said she fell and she’s here.”
“She landed bad and wrecked her knee. People fall and get hurt when they try to do things that are above their skill or their confidence level. We have a saying: ‘If you hesitate, it’s too late.’”
“So, if you are worried you won’t make it, don’t take the risk?”
“More like if you slow down before a jump, don’t take it. You can’t do what we do with an anxious heart. You have to be super-alert and confidant enough so your feet will keep you moving.”
“I suppose that can be applied to life as well.”
He lifts a single shoulder. “I guess.”
“You know what I always thought was cool?”
“What’s that?”
“That flip some guys do where you run up the wall into a backflip. Can you do that?”
“I can.” He grins.
“Can you show me?”
Laughing, he nods. “Sure.”
When we reach our apartment building, he parks the car and jumps up and down on the spot to warm up a little.
“You look like a twat,” I say, borrowing a word I’ve heard Coral use while I lean against the outside of his car to watch him. “Can’t you just do it?”
“You want me to pull something?” He smiles, continuing what he’s doing and not giving a damn about how stupid he looks right now.
I laugh. “I guess not.”
He tests the muscles in his legs with a couple of deep practice jumps, then looks at me. “R
eady?”
“Uh, yeah, I’m getting bored waiting,” I joke.
With a grin, he turns and runs at the wall, taking two steps up it, then pushing off with the third, tilting his body into a backflip before landing on his feet, his knees bent slightly.
“Well done.” I clap my hands as he takes a bow.
“Your turn,” he says, gesturing to the wall.
“Sure.” Without waiting a beat, I run at the wall, lifting one foot and then pushing myself back to land squarely on my feet again—no acrobatics required.
Flynn laughs. “You had me there for a second.”
“Yeah? You really thought I was going to do it?”
“For a second.”
“You’re a sucker.” I laugh.
“Do it again,” he teases.
I’m having fun, so I take the bait and run at the wall. But this time, he grabs me by the waist, his arms across my middle like a brace, and carries me through the move. The only difference is I don’t land on my feet—I’m dangling over his arm with my feet too high off the ground.
“Put me down.” I laugh, kicking my legs and reaching downward with my arms. I feel like a little kid stuck on the monkey bars, but it’s Flynn’s steel-like arms that are holding me in place.
“I get control of the remote if I do.”
“No!”
He lifts me higher, both of us laughing as I stretch my small limbs toward the ground.
“You pause it to talk too much,” he teases.
“It’s mine. I own it.”
He lifts me even higher.
“OK,” I yell. “OK, put me down.”
He lowers me down. “Looks like I'm the king of Outlander tonight.” He grins.
“Not if I get the remote first.” I turn and run for the front door. He catches me when I’m keying in the security code but stops when I yell, “Stop everything,” and hold up my hands.
“What happened?” He turns to me with wide eyes.
“There’s ice cream in the car.”
Relief softens the concern on his face. Then he leans down and scoops me up, carrying me under his arm like a rag doll. “Then I guess you won’t mine pausing this race while you come with me to get it?”
“Fine,” I concede, hanging there limply.
“Ruby?”
I have to flick my head back to see through my hair. “Joel?” Shit.
Flynn puts me down straight away. “G’day, mate. I’m Flynn.” He holds out his hand for Joel to take.
Joel’s brow creases as he looks between us, his eyes filled with questions. “So I gathered.”
“You’re back early.” I wrap my arms around his neck and rise on my toes to hug him.
He catches my face in his hands and my mouth with his lips, kissing me possessively. I tear my mouth away, my cheeks burning. “I finished early. Thought I’d surprise you.”
I wonder if that kiss was for me or just a display for Flynn.
“If you knew Ruby, you’d know she doesn’t like surprise visitors,” Flynn adds, then excuses himself to get the groceries out of the car.
“What’s he talking about?” Joel turns to me.
“It’s nothing. I just like to know who’s on the other side of the door before I answer it.”
“That’s what peepholes are for.”
“You’re right,” I say, slipping my arm around his waist and guiding him upstairs to the apartment. “You’re absolutely right.”
31
NEEDLESS TO SAY, season two of Outlander remains unwatched. Joel’s presence changes things, and his unwillingness to do anything outside of my apartment creates a tension that only ends when Flynn leaves to go see some of his friends.
“How much longer is he staying for?” Joel asks the moment he leaves.
“That was rude,” I tell him.
“What was?” He holds his hands out, acting as though he has no idea what I’m talking about.
“Coming in here, swinging your dick around like you own me—it was rude. Flynn doesn’t deserve that.”
“Then what does he deserve? The right to put his hands all over you while I’m away working?”
“He hasn’t done anything wrong. Nothing has happened.”
“So that’s how you are with all the guys you know?”
“No. But Flynn and I, we’re friends.”
“He wasn’t anything to you a couple of weeks ago.”
“I know. Things change. We’re friends now.”
“Just friends?”
“Yes, Joel. Just friends. I’ve told you all about him, every step of the way. I haven’t been hiding anything for this exact reason. I didn’t want you to feel like I was hiding anything from you. I’m your girlfriend.”
He runs his hands through his hair and sighs. “I guess it seemed like he was getting the girlfriend experience while I was stuck in another state feeling left out. I mean, the guy takes you diving with sharks and teaches you parkour. He’s getting to do all the fun stuff.”
Leaning in, I press my lips against his. “He doesn’t get to do this.”
Without missing a beat, he kisses me deeper. “And that?”
“No. He doesn’t get to do that.”
“What about...?” His hands move beneath my shirt and caress the skin at my sides.
“No. Nothing like that.” I run my fingers through the side of his hair, looking into his hazel eyes, filled with worry.
“I thought I was losing you.”
I shake my head. “You weren’t. But if you’re going to be an arsehole to my friends each time you get a little jealous, we might be on rocky ground.”
He laughs and presses his lips against my jawline. “I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.” His hand slides up my thigh. “Can I make it up to you?” His lips move to the curve of my neck.
“You’re off to a good start.”
***
Sleep won’t come. I don’t know if my mind is keeping me awake or if I’m still uncomfortable sharing my bed. Wrapped in Joel’s arms, I’m a little claustrophobic, so I slide out of bed.
I feel bad for ditching my plans with Flynn. I feel bad for the way he felt pushed out with Joel in our apartment.
I feel bad.
I probably shouldn’t. After all, Flynn’s entire reason for moving in here was to push Joel out. I shouldn’t feel bad at all. But I do. He said that once the two weeks are up, if I don’t choose him, then he’ll exit my life for good. I don't want that anymore. I’m not ready to say goodbye.
It’s after five in the morning when the front door opens and closes quietly. Shortly after, Flynn comes into view, looking tired. “That better not be Outlander,” he says, taking a seat next to me.
Exhausted by my own thoughts and the lack of sleep, I let my head drop onto his shoulder. “We made a deal.”
“Actually, we made a date. There was ice cream and everything.”
Closing my eyes, that feeling of guilt creeps up from my gut and claws at my neck. “Do you think I’m a terrible person?”
“No,” he says immediately, his voice soft and quiet. “I think you’re strong. I think you’re stubborn, focused. Driven. But I don’t think you’re terrible. Not even a little.”
“I feel bad.”
“Where’s Greg?”
“Joel is asleep.”
“Why aren’t you with him?”
I shrug. “I have a lot on my mind.”
“I surf when I need to clear my mind.” He looks toward the darkened window. “The sun’s up soon. Seems like a good time for you to get in that second surf lesson.”
“You want to go surfing now?”
“We’ll be back before John even knows you’re gone.”
I look to my closed bedroom door, then back to Flynn. “Let’s go.”
32
“PERHAPS WE SHOULD have checked the surf report,” I say when we reach Coogee Beach and find it severely lacking in waves.
“This beach is perfect for beginners. You can practice i
n a gentle surf without worrying too much about getting in anyone’s way.”
“I don’t think anyone can surf those tiny things.” I’m sceptical when the only white caps I see are a couple of feet away from the shore.
“Come on.” He walks ahead of me, turning to make sure I’m still close when he enters the water and lies flat on his board. “You can practice your balance, your rolls and your paddling.”
Joining him in the water, I paddle alongside him until we get far enough out that the waves get a little larger, shifting our boards from side to side as they glide beneath us.
“Still think we can surf out here?” I ask, watching an old man with a long grey beard paddle past us in a blue plastic kayak. He nods a greeting and we both wave back, laughing a little.
“Regret coming now?” Flynn sits on his board, his feet dangling in the cold water beneath us.
Looking out at the lightening sky, I take a deep breath, enjoying the lack of sound. I can’t hear any cars. I can’t hear any TVs or radios. There isn’t that hum of electrical appliances and general sound of the day. There’s just the lapping sound of the water and the occasional call of sea birds. “No. I actually couldn’t think of a single place I’d rather be right now.”
“You wouldn’t opt for different company?”
Glancing over to him, I find his eyes in the dim light, serious and searching. “No,” I tell him.
We fall quiet and focus on the sky above us, changing from blue-black to grey, then peach, pink and yellow before finally becoming light blue with white fluffy clouds drifting from left to right.
“Kind of makes you realise how insignificant and small we all are, doesn’t it?” I say, taking in the enormity that is the coming of the new day. Whether I was here to witness it or not, it would still come. Nothing stops it. Nothing gets in its way. It simply keeps happening.
“I don’t think there’s a single thing about you that could be considered insignificant, Ruby. You’re far brighter than the sun could ever hope to be.”
He makes me smile. “You say that because you’re so infatuated me.”
A Beautiful Danger (Beautiful #7) Page 20
