Deciding not to follow her usual path up the hill, Emma turned the mare left and headed south. This route was more heavily forested than the one she usually took and unless she wished to incur a lengthy detour by going around the woods, she had no choice but to ride through them. At the best of times, they tended to be dark and gloomy, but this morning they were an exact match for Emma’s feelings.
She had ridden in about a mile when she saw Ridley’s horse standing in a small copse of trees. The chestnut’s reins were tethered to the lowest branch of a tree, but Ridley was nowhere to be seen.
Concerned, Emma drew Bess to a halt and slipped out of the saddle. After securing the mare’s reins to the same tree as Chesapeake’s, Emma went in search of her brother. Given the state of mind he was in, she worried about him being alone in the woods. She doubted he would intentionally injure himself. Ridley loved life too much for that. But there were definitely times when one’s thoughts could turn dark and Ridley was enough of a romantic to fall into an emotional depression.
She moved quietly through the trees, about to call his name, when she came upon the second horse. A very nice-looking mare Emma hadn’t seen before. And there, just beyond the mare, in a forest clearing, she saw them.
A man and a woman, locked in each other’s arms. The man’s jacket and cravat were on the ground, his shirt open at the neck. The lady’s bonnet had fallen to the forest floor, as had her shawl.
Suddenly, the lady broke free. The man reached for her, but she pushed him away. She stood with her arms wrapped tightly around her chest as though to hold herself together. She was pleading with him, her voice low and intent, her beautiful face a study in anguish.
And then he spoke. Three words, followed by her name. Then the same three words again.
A shudder rippled through the woman’s slender frame. Her eyes closed and a tortured sound slipped past her lips. A battle was raging: the urge to run against the desire to stay.
Emma knew it well. The wisdom of resisting against the pleasures of giving in.
Longing versus duty. Obligation versus love.
Suddenly, the woman reached out her hand, tears streaming down her face, and the next moment they were in each other’s arms. Emma watched as the man lowered his mouth to her neck, trailing kisses along the smooth white skin of her throat. He ventured even lower, finally pressing his mouth to the soft swell of her breasts. Wantonly, the lady tipped back her head, a low moan escaping her throat as she drew his head closer, their bodies pressed intimately together in a way that left Emma in no doubt as to their intent.
If nothing happened to prevent it, her brother and Lady Glynnis were about to become lovers.
The decision was agonising, the seconds flying by as she watched the pair sink to the ground. Lady Glynnis’s arms were still wrapped around Ridley. He broke away only long enough to spread his jacket over the grass before going back to kissing her, his hand replacing his mouth at her breast.
Emma felt her cheeks flame. She had never seen anything so blatantly erotic in her life. That they were deeply in love she had no doubt, but that they were about to make the biggest mistake of their lives was undeniable.
And yet, what right had she to interfere? It was clearly a consensual arrangement. Neither of them was trying to escape. But if they went ahead and did this, they risked destroying themselves and everything they held dear.
Still, it wasn’t her decision to make. Ridley and Lady Glynnis were adults. They knew what they were doing. And if they didn’t, God help them when they came to their senses and found out.
Emma stepped back, intending to leave quietly, when her foot landed on a small twig and snapped it in half, the sound echoing through the silence like a gunshot.
In an instant, Ridley was on his feet. He glanced with unerring accuracy in Emma’s direction, and as their eyes met she saw his face burn with shame, even as his eyes pleaded with her to understand.
Emma swallowed and backed away. She felt like an intruder, a voyeur into something she had no business witnessing. But they were the ones in the wrong. How could they have been so foolish? So unbelievably careless? What if Alex had been the one to come along and find them rather than she?
Without a word, Emma turned and ran back to her mare. Ridley did not follow. She knew he wouldn’t leave Lady Glynnis alone now, but the damage was done, their secret well and truly revealed. Ridley and Lady Glynnis were in love—and Glynnis was engaged to marry Alex.
How on earth could matters ever have gone so completely and so utterly wrong?
* * *
Ridley came to her room later that evening. Immediately after dinner, Emma pleaded a headache and went upstairs. Her brother had appeared in the doorway a short time later, begging to speak with her.
Reluctantly, Emma let him in, but she had been harsh in her condemnation of his actions.
‘Have you lost your mind, Ridley?’ she snapped the moment the door closed behind him. ‘Have you any idea of the trouble you’re in? She is engaged to marry Lord Stewart!’
‘You think I don’t know that?’ Ridley dragged his hand through his hair. ‘Do you think I’m happy about what almost happened this morning?’
‘Never mind what almost happened,’ Emma murmured, her face burning. ‘What did happen was bad enough!’ She looked at her brother and sighed. ‘Whatever possessed you to do something so reckless? Asking her to meet you like that?’
‘I had no choice. I had to know, Emma, once and for all how she felt about me.’
‘But why would she agree to such a meeting? Only yesterday she accepted Lord Stewart’s proposal.’
‘I know.’
‘Then why—?’
‘Because she wanted to tell me the truth, too. Before it was too late. The truth that…she loves me,’ Ridley whispered happily. ‘And that she has ever since the early days of sitting for me.’
Feeling her legs give way, Emma sank down on to the edge of the bed. ‘But I thought she was angry with you for having shown the painting to Mr Towbridge.’
‘She was, but you were right, Emma. I painted a portrait of a woman in love,’ Ridley said quietly. ‘A woman who’d never felt or looked that way before, even when she was with Lord Stewart. And Glynnis was afraid Tom would see that when he looked at it. She was afraid her expression revealed the true extent of her feelings for me.’
‘So she knew the look of love on her face was there…because of you.’
Ridley nodded. ‘Had it all been on one side or the other, it might have been all right. But because she was looking at me with love, and I was seeing her that way, there wasn’t a hope that our feelings for one another wouldn’t be reflected on the canvas. Glynnis knew that the moment she saw the completed painting. And when she realised how she really felt about me and how much she had inadvertently given away…she panicked. She used my showing the painting to Towbridge as an excuse for being angry with me. She accused me of betraying her trust, but it was actually her own feelings she was finding impossible to deal with.’
‘Oh, Ridley,’ Emma said with a groan. ‘This is insane! She’s in love with you—but she’s going to marry Lord Stewart.’
‘She has no choice. Even if she wasn’t engaged to him, she would never be allowed to marry me. Her father cares even more about class distinction than old Widdicombe does. Nothing less than an earl would do for his Glynnis. In fact, he suggested a match with the Marquess of Stahley’s son if Stewart didn’t make good on his promise.’
‘Oh, that’s just wonderful,’ Emma said. ‘But what kind of life do you think she’s going to have with Alex now?’
‘I don’t—Alex?’ Ridley frowned. ‘When did you start calling him that?’
‘Shortly after Linette and Peter became engaged,’ Emma said, too distraught to bother making excuses. ‘He said that since we were going to be brother and sister-in-law, it made more sense.’
‘Well, yes, I suppose it does. Oh, God, and now Glynnis is going to be my sister-in-law,’ Ridley
said. ‘I don’t think I can bear it. I’m going to have to say something to him.’
‘Him?’
‘Lord Stewart. You’re right, Emma,’ Ridley said. ‘It’s madness for Glynnis to marry him when she loves me. She didn’t plan on falling in love with me any more than I planned on falling in love with her, but we did and now we have to do something about it.’ He took a deep breath and said, ‘I’m going to ask Lord Stewart to release Glynnis from her promise.’
‘Are you mad?’ Emma said in horror. ‘You’d be the laughing stock of London. A titled lady can play games if she wishes, but she does not back out of a marriage to an earl’s son in order to marry an artist. I’m sorry, Ridley, but those are the facts of life!’
‘But you just said it’s insane that she marry someone else.’
‘Of course it is! But going to Alex and expecting him to release her so that she can marry you is equally ludicrous. You just said Lord Leyland is more of a stickler than Alex’s father. I guarantee if you go through with this, you will find every door in London slammed in your face.’
‘Then what would you have me do? Let her go?’
Emma closed her eyes. ‘Yes, because you have no other choice. Daughters of earls do not marry artists.’ And heirs to earldoms do not marry penniless nonentities. ‘Papa’s right. You would have stood a better chance had you stuck it out and become a barrister. At least then you would have been received at Court. You would have had a profession with some degree of respectability.’
‘Then I am lost.’ Ridley sank down beside Emma on the bed, his expression bleak. ‘She will marry Lord Stewart and give him the portrait I painted of her, and I shall never see her again.’
‘Unfortunately, you will see her.’ Emma put her arm around his shoulders. ‘At Linette’s wedding. At the birth of their first child. And at every family gathering and event that follows. But you will not let on to anyone how devastated you really are because it will gain you nothing. When you go to Linette’s wedding—’
‘I can’t go!’
‘When you go to Linette’s wedding,’ Emma repeated firmly, ‘you will greet Lady Glynnis as a friend. Then you will kiss your sister and wish her happy in her new life and only then may you leave. But do not do this other thing, Ridley. You must not give Lord Widdicombe any reason to hate you. Because if he finds out about this, he will—and then I doubt very much there will ever be a wedding between Linette and Peter.’
The words seemed to shock Ridley awake. ‘You think the earl would forbid them from marrying?’
‘I’m surprised he didn’t do it after the débâcle with Aunt Dorothy. He certainly wouldn’t permit it if you were the cause of the break up between his heir and the lady he believes to be perfection in every way.’
The words were as difficult for Emma to say as they were for Ridley to hear, but they were the truth and they both knew it. If Ridley persisted in bringing his relationship with Lady Glynnis out into the open, they would all be ruined.
‘Linette would hate me,’ Ridley said quietly.
‘I don’t think Linette is capable of hate, but I know it would break her heart,’ Emma said. ‘And I think that would bother you far more than if she said she hated you.’
‘It would. I can live with my own unhappiness. I couldn’t bear knowing I had been the cause of hers.’
‘Then it’s settled,’ Emma said. ‘Lady Glynnis will leave with her parents later today and that will be an end of it. She and Al—Lord Stewart will marry. Linette and Mr Taylor will marry. And you and I will make the best of it.’
He glanced at her quizzically. ‘You and I?’
Emma closed her eyes. ‘Yes, Ridley. You and I. And if you wish to leave this room with your fingers still capable of holding a paintbrush, I suggest you not ask any more questions.’ She sighed. ‘There have been more than enough shocking revelations for one day.’
As it turned out, there was still one more shocking revelation in store for Emma. It was just after lunch that the letter was delivered. It was addressed to Emma and the young lad who brought it was told to make sure it was put directly into her hands. Upon breaking the seal, she discovered it was from Lady Glynnis.
Dear Miss Darling,
You will no doubt find the occasion of my writing to you unusual, but given what you witnessed yesterday morning, I wanted to set matters right between us. I would also beg you to burn this after reading, as what I am about to say could have disastrous consequences if it were to fall into the wrong hands. As it is, I hope you can appreciate the level of trust I place in you by being willing to send such a letter.
It will likely be clear to you now, that your brother and I are in love. I tell you this, because I would hate you to misinterpret what you saw in the forest. You are no doubt aware that I have accepted Lord Stewart’s proposal and that we are to be married. I hope you will wish me well, for it was always my intention to marry Alexander. As I told you that day, our friendship goes back a long way and I cannot think of a better or kinder man in all of my acquaintance. But once I met your brother, I realised how shallow my feelings for Alexander were, and how much more there could be between a man and a woman.
My relationship with your brother began soon after I began sitting for him. I found him to be charming, of course, as any woman would, and handsome because it would be silly to call him otherwise. But during our time together I discovered something else about Ridley: a tender and caring side, as well as a compassionate nature that appealed to me very much. And I discovered, for the first time in my life, a side to my own nature that took me completely unawares.
I don’t know if you have ever been in love, Miss Darling. Until I met your brother, I had not. I knew attraction and I knew friendship. But I never knew what it was to ache for someone so intensely that to be without them was akin to a physical pain. That came to me over the days and weeks I sat for your brother; perhaps now, looking back, I can safely say that the reason his portrait captured what it did is because I was willing to show that side of myself to him. I doubt the same results would have been achieved had I hired someone else to do the portrait. However, since it was your brother who drew out that side of me, it should have come as no shock to me that the finished painting would reflect what I felt when I was with him. Regrettably it did and I reacted accordingly.
Having said all that, we must also face the reality of our lives. I have accepted Lord Stewart’s proposal because it is the right thing to do. My parents expect it. His parents expect it. And Alexander expects it. And knowing how deeply it would hurt him if were I to break it off now, I have no choice but to go through with it. Also, as my father would never permit me to marry a man like Ridley, there would be nothing to be gained by calling it off.
I hope you can understand this, Miss Darling. If wishes were horses, beggars would ride. An old proverb, perhaps, but significant in its message here. I will never forget Ridley, but I also know that there can never be anything between us. The rules that govern our lives are strict, the punishments for flouting them harsh. Please don’t misunderstand me when I say that enough heartache has been caused by Mr Taylor’s engagement to your sister. I cannot be the cause of further disruption to everyone’s lives.
I hope that you and I can remain friends, and that you will keep secret the contents of this letter. There will be occasions when we are required to see one another and, for everyone’s sake, I wish it to be civil. But in case you have any doubts, I do like you and your sister very much.
Yours, in friendship,
Glynnis
Emma slowly refolded the letter. It had taken a great deal of courage for Lady Glynnis to write what she had. It was an emotional confession, an outpouring of her soul. And knowing what she risked in sending it, Emma felt a warm glow of affection for the writer because, like she and Ridley, Lady Glynnis had also found love with the wrong person. And because of her awareness of her duties and obligations, she had cast it aside to do what was right.
If wishes were
horses, beggars would ride.
Emma tipped back her head and stared at the ceiling. How appropriate the lady’s choice of proverb. One needn’t be rich to have wishes. Even the most simple of men and women had dreams. Unattainable, perhaps, but dreams none the less. It was what kept people going and gave hope to their lives. It offered something to aspire to. Except in her case, it was a dream that could never be realised.
There wasn’t a horse in the world that could carry Emma to the place she so desperately wanted to go.
The day hadn’t been much better for Alex. He had hoped, after having offered his proposal to Glynnis, that his life would magically fall into place. That with luck, the confusion he’d felt until this moment would vanish and leave everything remarkably clear. If anything, matters only became darker and more murky. While his head knew he was doing the right thing, his heart screamed that he was not. And as a man who had spent his entire life listening to his head, this sudden, unexpected voice was decidedly unwelcome.
He had gone for a long ride in the afternoon, refusing Peter’s offer of companionship as gently as he could. There was no easy way of telling his brother how hard it was to spend time in his company now. Childish as it was, Alex knew himself well enough to know that every time he saw his sibling, he would be faced with the knowledge that while he would get the title and the estate, Peter would live happily with the woman he loved. And the woman Alex loved would likely end up becoming the vicar’s wife.
He couldn’t bear thinking about that either. Emma deserved so much more than John Tufton. A clergyman needed a woman without goals or opinions of her own. One who was content to live in his shadow and who would mould her life around his. That was what Emma’s life would be like married to the clergyman and Alex couldn’t think of a worse fate for a woman of her vivacious and creative nature.
Consequently, by the time he got back from his ride, his mood was even blacker than when he’d set out. He walked into the house and stood for a moment in the hall, trying to think what he might do for the rest of the day. Then, deciding a few hours with a book was as good a way as any to pass the time, he turned and headed in the direction of the library.
Improper Miss Darling Page 21
