‘Yes.’ Linette did not turn around. ‘To London.’
‘London?’
‘To stay with Aunt Dorothy. She told me I was welcome to come whenever I liked.’
Emma walked in and closed the door behind her. ‘But why?’
‘Because I cannot stay here a moment longer,’ Linette said quietly. ‘There is nothing for me now but memories that grow more painful by the minute.’
‘Linette, dearest, what are you talking about? Your life is here, with Peter.’
‘Not any more. I’ve…broken it off.’
Emma gasped. ‘What?’ She flew to her sister’s side and turned her around. ‘Why ever did you do such a thing?’
‘Because I had no choice. Don’t you see, Emma?’ Linette whispered, her face crumpling. ‘He would have disowned him. His own son. How could a father do something like that to his child?’
‘I fear it is the way of the aristocracy. Obligation and duty mean more to a man like Lord Widdicombe than the love he feels toward his son,’ Emma said. ‘But that doesn’t matter. If Peter still wishes to marry you, his father cannot stop him from doing so.’
‘But at what cost?’ Linette shook her head. ‘I love him so much, Emma. How could I bear to see him reduced to a man with no status? A man forced to give up everything he is entitled to…everything he is used to…because of me. It is more than I would ask of any man, let alone him.’
‘Now you listen to me, Linette Darling,’ Emma said in a tone that brooked no argument. ‘I have been giving this a great deal of thought and there is absolutely no need for you to do anything so drastic. You and Peter can live here at Dove’s Hollow after you’re married. You know Papa would agree to that. You can have my room and I could use Ridley’s. Then Peter could speak to Mr Tufton about employment within the church. He’s sure to know how to go about making that happen. And I can give you money—’
‘Oh, Emma, it’s not the money or the job, don’t you see?’ Linette interrupted. ‘Lord Widdicombe intends to disown Peter if we marry. Do you know what that means? It means our children would have no status in the eyes of society. Their own grandfather would not recognise or receive them. How could I do that to them? I can live with the consequences of my own actions, but to know that I would be condemning their lives from the very start is more than I could bear.’
‘But you don’t know he would do such a thing,’ Emma said. ‘I’ve yet to see a man who doesn’t fall head over heels in love with his grandchild the very first time he sees him or her. Do you really think Lord Widdicombe’s heart so hard that he could shut out the sight of his own grandson?’
‘I do not know Lord Widdicombe’s heart well enough to hazard a guess. But based on what I do know of him, yes, I think he would, if only to make a point.’ Linette shook her head. ‘I could never hurt a child of mine the way he has hurt Peter. Never! But at least now, he won’t have to. I sent Peter a note this morning, telling him that I am…releasing him from his promise.’
Emma gasped. ‘Oh Linette, you must not—!’
‘It’s done. And I have asked that he not to come to see me because I am going away. It’s over, Emma. Lord Widdicombe has won. I am not going to fight any more. I am going to finish my packing and then get ready to leave.’
‘Not if I have anything to say about it.’ Emma got up and headed for the door.
Linette spun around. ‘Where are you going?’
‘To see Lord Stewart. It’s time I gave him a piece of my mind. Then we’ll just see who’s won and who’s lost!’
* * *
Alex was in the library going over some correspondence when the butler appeared at the door. ‘Miss Emma Darling to see you, my lord.’
Alex put down the letter. Emma was here? ‘Show her in, Houston.’
Moments later, she appeared in the doorway and it was all Alex could do not to run to her and sweep her up in his arms. She looked lovelier than ever in a deep-blue riding habit, her cheeks dusted with pink, her lips the colour of a newly bloomed rose. But her chin was raised in defiance and her eyes flashed fire. She was upset and deeply so. ‘Emma—’
‘Are you happy with yourself, Lord Stewart?’ she threw at him. ‘Are you content now that you have ruined her life?’
Alex stopped. ‘I’m not sure I understand—’
‘You wrote my sister this letter!’ Emma said, waving a piece of parchment in front of his face. ‘How could you ask her to break off her engagement? What kind of a man are you?’
At once, the cause of her anger became clear. ‘The kind who puts the welfare of his family first. I am sorry to have caused your sister pain, Emma—’
‘Miss Darling!’
The coldness of her voice struck him like a blow to the heart. ‘Miss Darling. But everything I wrote in that letter is true. My father will disinherit Peter if he marries your sister. I heard it from his own lips. He will cut off Peter’s allowance and provide nothing in the way of future income. What do you think that will do to my brother, Miss Darling? How do you think that will make him feel, knowing he would not be able to support his wife and his children?’
‘He would not be the first man forced into earning a living,’ Emma retorted. ‘Your brother is an intelligent man. He can find a living that will provide for all of them. He can approach the church, or teach, as my father did.’
‘Oh, yes, the son of the Earl of Widdicombe, tutoring the younger brothers of the boys he went to school with. That’s a wonderful thing for a man’s pride.’
‘Pride be damned!’ Emma cried. ‘If he loves Linette enough, he will do whatever he has to in order to support her.’
‘Yes, he probably would,’ Alex said more slowly. ‘If it was only the two of them. But what about their children? Would you have their lives blighted because of a mistake their father made?’
‘Your brother has chosen to stay with Linette in spite of everything that’s happened,’ Emma said, ignoring his use of the word ‘mistake’. ‘Up until this point, he has stood by her. Now you have gone behind his back and asked the woman he loves to put an end to their engagement. And she has.’
Alex stared at her. ‘She broke it off?’
‘You didn’t know?’
‘I haven’t seen my brother this morning.’
‘Then you should seek him out, Lord Stewart,’ Emma said coldly. ‘You should ask him how he feels now that his engagement is at an end. Because I can tell you how Linette feels. She is broken hearted! She is going to stay with my aunt in London because she cannot bear to remain here a moment longer. You have ruined her life, my lord. But I don’t suppose that matters to you, does it? Now you can go to your father and tell him the good news. Hoorah, Father, your beloved son is not to marry that wretched young lady.’
‘Miss Darling—’
‘He is free to marry someone from his own class. Someone as stuck up as you—’
‘Emma—!’
‘Thank God I managed to save him from himself—!’
The rest of the words were cut off. Alex crossed the room in three strides and pulled her into his arms, silencing her with a kiss. It wasn’t meant to be gentle. It was meant to punish and it tore his soul apart. He wanted nothing more than to beg her to forgive him, to forget about the duty that had ruled his life from the moment of his birth and to tell her how much he loved and needed her. He wanted to cast off responsibility and lead the life he wanted. A life with Emma.
But he wasn’t free to do any of those things. He could no more shrug off his obligations than he could his name and he could no more have Emma Darling than he could the stars in the sky. Both blinded him with their beauty and both were for ever unattainable.
He carefully set her away from him, aware that they were both trembling. Emma’s face was white, her lips pink from the bruising force of his kiss. ‘Forgive me,’ he whispered, the words torn from his heart. ‘I had no right…’
‘No, you had no right,’ Emma said in a voice so low he had to strain to hear it. ‘No
right to kiss me like that. No right to go to my sister and ask her to break off her engagement. No right to meddle in something that doesn’t concern you. I will never forgive you for the pain you have caused Linette, my lord. And though I never thought I would hear myself say this, I pity Lady Glynnis. You think she is marrying you for the benefit of you both, but you’re wrong. A woman can say what she likes, but in the deepest recesses of her heart, she will always long for love. Especially when she knows how powerful the emotion can be.’
She left him where he stood. Not moving, scarcely breathing, the pain in his chest threatening to tear him apart. He might have stood there for a minute or an hour, the memory of her voice slicing into his heart. She despised him. And she had every right to do so…
‘Alex?’
Peter. Alex hadn’t heard his brother come in. But looking up, he asked the question, needing to know if it was true. ‘Have you heard from Linette this morning?’
There was no need for his brother to speak. A look of such anguish appeared on his face that Alex knew it would haunt him for the rest of his life. ‘You have.’
‘She sent me a letter. She has withdrawn her acceptance of my proposal.’ There was no inflection in Peter’s voice. He could have been an automaton reciting lines. ‘She wishes me well and says it is…for the best.’
They stood the length of the room away…and the length of the world apart. ‘It is for the best, Peter,’ Alex said, though even to his own ears the words sounded hollow and trite. ‘I overheard Mother and Father talking. He was going to cut you off. To disown you without a penny if you went ahead and married Linette.’
‘I know.’
Alex stared. ‘You knew?’
‘Of course. It was the only weapon he had left. He hinted at it when he suggested I make Linette my mistress. He tried to tell me she wouldn’t be interested in me if I was nothing but a parish priest, because that’s all I would be if I refused to do as he asked. So I told him to go ahead and do it. That I would make the best of it.’
‘You told him that?’
‘What else was I to say?’ Peter asked quietly. ‘I had no intention of giving Linette up. She was my life, Alex. I never knew it could be like that between two people. Never knew how complete a man could feel just by having someone like her by his side. Even when I wasn’t with her, I felt…connected to her. The knowledge that she was thinking about me, wherever she was, made me feel whole. I don’t expect you to understand. I know your relationship with Lady Glynnis isn’t based on love. But mine was. And it truly was the most remarkable thing I have ever experienced. I felt as though I could do anything…be anything…as long as she was by my side. With her, I could have scaled mountains. Without her, I am…just a man.’
Alex had no idea what to say. What could he say to a man who believed he had just lost everything of value in his life? A man whose unhappiness now was as a direct result of his own interference? ‘What are you going to do?’
Peter managed a smile, even though he looked close to tears. ‘What can I do? She has taken the decision out of my hands. She’s told me she has no desire to see me again. I’ve lost her, Alex. And there’s not a damn thing I can do about it.’
There was nothing Alex could say. If ever he had seen a man tortured by emotion, it was Peter. The life had gone out of his voice and the spirit out of his heart. His eyes were dead, devoid of the warmth and humour that had always been there. In one fell swoop, Alex had destroyed the gentle man his brother was and alienated Emma—the one woman he had ever truly loved. The woman who had opened his eyes to what love was really about and who had made him feel all the things Peter had just described. Everything he had been willing to give up, all for what he had believed to be the right reasons. ‘Have you told Father yet?’
Peter shook his head. ‘I’ll tell him tonight. I’m not ready to see him gloat. I was on my way to the stables when I saw Miss Darling leave. What did she want, by the way?’
Alex grimaced. ‘To tear a strip off me for ruining her sister’s life.’
‘You didn’t ruin it.’
‘Yes, Peter, I did.’ And with a heavy heart, Alex told his brother about the conversation he’d overheard between his mother and father, and about the letter he had written to Linette as a result.
‘I thought I was doing the right thing,’ he said, humbly, at the end. ‘But now, I realise I was entirely in the wrong. It wasn’t my place to interfere. When I see what it’s done to you—’
‘You acted the way you did for the right reasons,’ Peter said without inflection. ‘You were concerned about my future. Maybe I was wrong to say it didn’t matter. That I could live without Father’s approval. Maybe it would have meant more to me when the invitations stopped coming and Linette and I were turned away from the places I’ve always been welcome at before. Maybe then I would have believed that he truly had my best interests at heart. But right now, all I can feel is this terrible emptiness. This pain for everything I’ve lost.’ He turned and started towards the door. ‘You know, it’s funny. Father’s approval always meant so much to me. I tried to excel at everything I did so he would be proud of me.’
‘He always was,’ Alex said.
‘Until now.’ Peter shrugged again. ‘And that’s what’s funny. I don’t care any more. It’s as though I’m seeing him clearly for the first time in my life. And for the first time in my life, I’m not sure I like what I see.’
Peter quietly left the room. Alex remained behind, staring at the floor. Emma was right. He had interfered in something he’d had no business interfering in. He had tried to do the best for all concerned; instead, he had just ended up hurting the people he loved most. And for what? His father’s happiness? His own sense of having done the right thing? What had he to look forward to for all his efforts? His brother’s sad face. His own empty marriage to a woman who probably deserved better.
He thought about what Emma had said. A woman may say what she likes, but in the deepest recesses of her heart, she will always long for love. Especially when she knows how powerful the emotion can be.
What had she meant by that? Was she suggesting that Glynnis knew what she was missing and wanted more? Alex had never stopped to consider how Glynnis felt about their marriage. He’d assumed, as most men did, that having several homes to look after and with every comfort at her disposal, she would be happy. But what if she truly wanted more? What if, under the pretence of practicality, she did long for love?
He’d never thought about it for himself. Never dreamt he would find anything missing in his relationship with Glynnis—until he’d met Emma and discovered what love was really all about. It was about two people looking out for each other’s welfare and happiness. It was his brother being willing to give up his father’s approval, his position in society, even his life as a gentleman, in order to be with the woman he loved. It was Linette Darling, willing to set free the man she loved because she feared what it would cost him if he went ahead with the marriage.
And it was Emma Darling. His Emma. Having the courage to stand up to him and tell him he was wrong. To tell him that Glynnis wanted more and deserved better, and that he had a long and empty life ahead of him.
Why? Because he had done what he’d thought right. He had honoured what he had been taught to honour. Respect what had been taught to respect. The traditions that had become the life and breath of his world.
Suddenly, he realised he couldn’t have been more wrong.
* * *
He found his brother in the stable, waiting for the groom to finish saddling up.
‘Ready Thunder as well, would you, Clarke?’ he said to the lad tightening the girth on his brother’s saddle.
The young lad nodded. ‘Right away, m’lord.’
Alex turned and offered Peter a smile. ‘Mind if I join you?’ His brother sighed. ‘Actually, I’d prefer some time on my own.’
‘I understand that. And I’ll give you all the time you want…if you’ll give me just a few minutes
of your time now. There’s something I have to say to you, Peter. Something very important. And it can’t wait.’
Peter stared down at the stone floor, then slowly nodded. ‘All right.’
They set off for the rolling hills behind Ellingsworth. Alex was aware of an incredible sense of freedom, as though on the verge of doing something he had always wanted to do without even having been aware of wanting to do it. But now he knew what needed to be done, and, once having accepted that he was the only one who could do it, it was almost as though it couldn’t happen fast enough.
After a vigorous gallop, they reined in their horses and stood admiring the countryside around them. Everywhere he looked, Alex saw new life springing up. Flowers blooming in the hedgerows. Trees budding into leaf over head. The air was warm and sweet with the scent of growing things. London had never looked or smelled like this, he thought wryly.
‘Peter,’ he said finally. ‘I’ve been giving this situation with you and Linette a great deal of thought. And I’ve come to the conclusion that I was wrong to suggest to either of you that you break it off.’
Peter’s head slowly came up. ‘Why?’
‘Because you love Linette Darling and she loves you. You were willing to sacrifice our father’s respect and approval, and to be disowned without a penny, rather than lose her, and she has released you from your promise, rather than be the one to cause you to lose everything she thinks you hold dear.’
‘Yes. So?’
‘So, it makes absolutely no sense that the two of you shouldn’t be together. That’s why I think you should go to her this very minute and beg her to take you back.’
Peter looked stunned. ‘Are you serious?’
‘Never more so. It’s your life, Peter,’ Alex said with quiet intensity. ‘Not mine. Not Father’s. Yours. Even in the short time I’ve been here, I’ve seen how happy Linette makes you and how miserable you are now. And I have no reason to doubt that Miss Darling isn’t every bit as unhappy. Her sister informed me that she would be leaving for London as soon as it could be arranged.’
Improper Miss Darling Page 23
