by Marni Mann
I held the sides of her face and said, “Kiss me.”
After a few seconds, she pushed her mouth on mine, and I felt her relax a little. I took in the small amount of tongue she had given me, circling around it.
Her hands went to my chest, her nails scraping my flesh during the climb. When she reached the top of my T-shirt, I felt her grip it as though she wanted to pull it over my head.
I broke our kiss, sliding back a few inches to look at her. “Fuck, I want you.”
“Jack, don’t make me wait.”
“Samantha—”
“I want more than just your fingers tonight.”
I gripped her harder, lifting her off the stool and wrapping her legs around me. “Kiss me,” I demanded again, and I carried her to my bedroom.
When I set her on the bed, I broke our kiss to take off her tank top and do the same with her shoes and jeans. Now, she was only in a pair of red panties and a matching bra.
Goddamn it.
She was fucking gorgeous. Exactly the way I remembered, but her body was tighter, her skin a little tanner, her curves even sexier.
“You’re perfect.”
“Come here,” she said, reaching for me from between her legs.
She gripped the waist of my sweats and let them drop to the floor, doing the same with my T-shirt, and now, I was standing in front of her in just my boxer briefs.
I knelt on the bed, my lips pressing on the middle of her stomach, and I kissed across her navel, up to her bra, and back down to lick the top of her panties.
More cinnamon.
More lace.
They reminded me of the first pair I’d ripped off of her eight years ago.
Slowly, I yanked them down her legs, my mouth diving straight to her pussy. I grazed over her clit, my tongue spreading the wetness, the tip of it flicking across the very top of her, which I knew was one of her most sensitive places.
She grasped my hair and twisted it around her fingers. “Jack, don’t stop.”
I groaned in response, my fucking cock so hard, it was grinding into the bed. I reached down and gave it a few pumps, the need to be inside her causing me to lick even faster.
“You taste so goddamn good.”
I lowered a few inches, my nose pressed into her lips, and I inhaled.
That fucking scent.
I wanted it to be the first thing I smelled every morning when I woke up, her pussy the first thing that touched my tongue long before I even brushed my teeth.
I inserted two fingers, and she immediately started to ride them. It was the hottest sight to see them buried deep within her, her clit so wet from my tongue.
Pleasure spread across her face. “Jack,” she breathed.
She didn’t have to tell me. Her pussy was clenching me so hard, it was as though my cock were inside her, and she was trying to milk the cum out of it. But then she tightened even more, her stomach shuddering, and I knew she’d hit her peak. So, I pointed my tongue at the top of that hard bud, and I licked it as hard and as fast as I could.
Her hips bucked, her breath released in short screams, and her body quivered.
When she finally stilled, I pulled out of her, and I moved her higher on the bed.
I didn’t join her right away. I walked over to the nightstand first to grab a condom and I let my boxer briefs fall to the ground while I rolled it onto my cock. Then, I climbed over her body.
“I forgot how good your tongue was,” she said.
I wiped my hand over my beard, drying all the wetness before I pressed my lips against hers. “If I didn’t want to fuck you so badly, I’d remind you all night.”
“My God, you’re incredible.”
I moved in between her thighs, and while I kept them spread, I aimed my dick at her entrance. Her pussy was so wet, I knew I didn’t need to add any more to it, so I gently tilted my hips and drove in a few inches, letting her get used to what I felt like again.
Her head leaned back, and her mouth opened. “More.”
Slowly, I continued to bury myself until she had all of me. “Fuck,” I hissed, pausing to let her loosen, feeling her muscles constrict around my cock.
She was still so fucking tight.
So wet.
So goddamn warm.
When her stare connected with mine, I lifted her back off the bed, and I pushed her higher until it hit the headboard. Then, I gripped the top of the wood and used it to rock my hips forward.
“Ahhh!” she yelled.
I gave her another thrust, and the same noise shot out of her.
“Too much?”
“No.” She gnawed into her lip. “Don’t you dare stop.”
That was the answer I wanted.
I stroked in and out, easily finding a rhythm, pushing my way through her tightness.
She felt so fucking good.
“Hold on to me, baby,” I told her once I felt her cunt start to contract.
Her hands slid to my back, her nails pressing into my skin. She could dig all she wanted. The only thing it did was show me how much she liked it, and that turned me on even more.
She groaned so loudly. “You’re going to make me come again.”
She barely had the words out before I felt her get wetter, her clenching causing my own orgasm to work its way through my balls.
I reared my hips back and pounded into her.
“Jack!”
“Say it fucking louder.”
When she did, I looked down and ordered her to, “Kiss me.”
I was met with her lips and a moan that I could taste on my tongue.
When I knew she was lost in sensations, her body trembling through each wave, I emptied myself inside her.
Finally catching my breath, I pulled away from her mouth and wrapped myself around her body. “You feel so good.”
She nuzzled her face into my neck. “I’ve missed you. No one makes me feel the way you do.”
I fucking loved hearing that.
I especially liked knowing that no one but me could give her body what she wanted. I knew most of her spots, the ones she liked touched and the ones she preferred to have licked. I planned on learning the rest very soon.
Possibly even later this evening, which got me thinking. “Do you have to go home tonight?”
“No.”
“Good.” I grazed my nose across the side of her hair. “I need to toss this condom, and then we have some sushi to eat.”
“God, I forgot all about the food.”
I kissed her cheek and the tip of her nose and the center of her forehead. “You need to eat.”
She let out a light laugh. “Why?”
“Because you’re going to need fuel for what I plan on doing to you all night.”
“You’re just as naughty as you were eight years ago.”
“Oh no, Samantha.” I bit down on her bottom lip, tugging it between mine. “I’m much worse now.”
18
Samantha
When I ran up to the entrance of Anna’s building, I was immediately greeted by her doorman, who smiled and said, “Good morning, Miss Cole. It’s nice to see you.”
“Morning,” I replied, completely out of breath.
I rushed into the lobby and went over to the elevator where I slammed my finger on the button, hoping it would open quickly.
“Do you want me to call Miss Shay and let her know you’re here?”
The elevator arrived, and I stepped inside, pressing the button for Anna’s floor. “No, I’m sure she is asleep and won’t answer.” I rested my hand on my chest, trying to calm the anxiety surrounding my heart.
“Have a good day,” he said.
I waved as the door closed. Then, I used the same hand to grip the safety bar behind me, needing it to bear some of my weight.
The heaviness of my body was becoming too much.
I was grateful Anna worked nights and was always home in the morning. The short window between dropping Lucy off and my first meeting was the only t
ime I ever had available to come here. I was even more grateful of that today because I needed my best friend.
The elevator stopped on her floor, and I used the set of keys she’d given me to open her door. I darted past the kitchen and went right to the guest room where I always checked for her first. Even though she kept her nursing license active, Anna now worked as a fetish model where she was paid to show her feet on a live cam. Often pulling all-nighters, she would sometimes be filming when I arrived. Fortunately, that wasn’t the case now. The lights had been turned off, the props had been put away, and the red light was missing from the camera.
Had she been in the middle of a scene, it could have been hours before she was able to talk.
That was another thing I was grateful for this morning.
I continued down the hallway and slipped inside her room, taking a seat on the other side of the mattress. My hand fell against her arm, and I shook it to wake her.
She groaned and pulled the blanket over her head. “I worked until five this morning—which was, what? An hour ago I’m guessing? So, unless you are hot, single, and have the most glorious penis in Miami, or you have a coffee that’s a minimum of sixty ounces, let me sleep.”
“Anna,” I whispered.
“Oh, fuck.” She tossed the blanket off and immediately faced me. “You sound like shit. What happened?”
Now that I was here, sitting so close to her, the memories from the last hour started screaming inside my head again.
“Does she have your eyes?” Jack asked as his mouth left mine.
“Who?”
“Lucy.”
“No, she has her father’s eyes.”
I couldn’t breathe.
It felt like a pair of hands were around my throat, squeezing all the air out of me, and there were feet stomping on my chest, putting too much pressure on my heart.
“Samantha.” She grasped my shoulders, observing my face, scanning my eyes, as she looked at me like I was a patient. “What’s going on? You’re worrying me.”
I shook my head, trying to force out my thoughts. “I want him, and I want him to be in our lives.”
“Pause for a second.” She got up from the bed, went into the bathroom, and returned with a box of tissues. She took several in her hand and blotted them against my face, catching tears that I hadn’t realized had fallen. “You’ve made a decision. Finally. That’s a good thing, babe.”
“No.”
I tried to swallow, but the spit wouldn’t go down. My throat was too constricted. My breathing was becoming shallow, air barely passing through.
“Why are you so upset?”
I shook my head again, trying to reach for the thoughts, but when I opened my mouth, they wouldn’t come out. A sob burst through instead, and I felt myself panting, and my skin turned flushed, clamminess covering me.
“Samantha, you need to take a few deep breaths, or you’re going to pass out.”
This was the nurse in her.
But, this time, unlike so many others, it wouldn’t heal me.
Nothing could.
Her hands moved back to my shoulders, and she squeezed. “Big breaths.”
“I can’t,” I huffed.
Her fingers went to my chin, and she held my face, so I was forced to look at her. “You have to. Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. Focus, Samantha; it’ll make you feel better.”
“No,” I cried.
It wouldn’t. I was so sure of that.
But I still tried to follow her instructions, bypassing the tightness and making the thoughts stop spinning for just a second. When I did, things started to loosen.
“That’s it,” she encouraged. “Just a few more deep breaths, and the panic attack will pass.”
It had been years since I had one.
Eight years to be exact.
The last one had felt just like this.
Ironically, they were over the same person.
“I fucked up so badly,” I said once I was able to take in enough air.
“Honey, how?” She put a tissue in my hand and held another against my face to dry my cheeks. “I’m sure it’s not as bad as you think.”
I looked down, the shame tearing me apart. “You know I went over to Jack’s last night to talk to him about Lucy?”
“Yes. I know.”
“Well, we discussed her.” I paused, the tightness returning. I tried swallowing it down, and all it did was get worse. “Anna”—I finally looked up at her again—“I couldn’t tell him. I had the perfect opportunity, and I wanted to so badly. The words were there; they were on my tongue, I just couldn’t say them out loud. I was just so scared.” The strangling returned, and so did the feeling of someone stepping on my chest. “He asked me this morning if Lucy had my eyes, and I couldn’t get out of his condo fast enough. I told him I had a meeting, and I rushed downstairs. I held on to my bag, and I ran all five blocks to your building.” My body started to rock back and forth. “What have I done? How the hell am I going to fix this?”
“Oh God.”
“He asked about her father. I told him he wasn’t in the picture anymore and…”
“You lied.”
Tears fell from my chin as I nodded. “He’s never going to forgive me this time. I had a chance to come clean, to make this right, to tell him the truth. And I blew it.”
“Samantha—”
“How do I tell him, Anna? How do I look him in the face and say, You’re Lucy’s father?”
She grabbed another handful of tissues, but I didn’t want them. I placed them on the mattress and let the tears soak in, let the spit fly from my lips, let the snot run from my nose.
The guilt of never telling Jack about his daughter had been eating me alive for eight years. I knew, no matter what I said to him or Lucy, keeping this secret was the most selfish act a mother could commit. No amount of tissues or deep breathing could take away my deceit. I could only hope that, one day, they would both forgive me.
“She’s seven years old,” I said in a hoarse voice, my throat so restricted. “She’s never met her father. She only knows the fairy-tale image that I’ve painted of him. When I got pregnant, I thought I was doing what he wanted, and that was staying away from him. But I’ve lived with this regret for too long. I can’t do it anymore.”
“You should have told him.” Her tone forced my eyes to lock with hers.
She was always on my side, always had my back.
But not now.
I saw the disappointment on her face, and that hurt so much.
Yet I deserved it. Every bit of it.
“You’re absolutely right. I should have told him,” I said.
“Now, you have to go do it. Because that man needs to know that gorgeous little girl is his.”
The tightening clenched even harder.
My chest felt like it was going to explode.
My entire body shook.
And it got even worse as I pictured my daughter in my head.
She was so beautiful.
She had her father’s stunning, big blue eyes. His smile. His charm. His wit.
I had to tell him.
And then, somehow, I had to tell Lucy.
I found my purse on the floor. I didn’t even remember dropping it before I had crawled into her bed. I dug around inside until I found my phone. “I’m going to ask if I can see him tonight.”
“Who’s going to watch Lucy?”
“My parents.”
Me: Can I see you again tonight? Your place? Dinner?
I set the phone on her bed, and another thought hit me. This one hurt as much as the others. “Oh my God, I’m going to have to tell my family, too. What are they going to think when they find out that Jack is Lucy’s father?”
Everyone thought her father was a boy from the University of Miami. A one-night stand whose name I never knew. But, to Lucy, I had described her father in a much different way. She knew more than anyone else.
“Let’
s just take this one day at a time because this isn’t going to be pretty. At all,” she said. “But you have to do it. You can’t put it off any longer.”
My world had changed the night of the NFL draft.
It had changed again the night of the Super Bowl.
And it would change once more tonight.
“You’re going to be all right, no matter what,” she said. Her hand was on mine, our fingers linked, my tear-soaked skin dampening hers. “We survived your pregnancy, Lucy’s birth, and seven years of her life. We’ll get through this, too.”
I nodded, but I said nothing.
I couldn’t.
19
Jack
Me: Two nights in a row? Fuck, you must have read my mind.
Samantha: Nope, I just need to see you.
Me: Damn it, I need to see you. You rushed out of my place so fast this morning; I didn’t get a chance to taste you again like I wanted. New rule…
Samantha: Rule?
Me: You don’t get out of my bed in the morning until I’ve tasted you at least twice. No exceptions. I’m going to prove that even more tonight. Have yourself a good day, Samantha. I’ll see you later.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Brett asked as he stood in the doorway of my office.
I hadn’t realized he was there, so I set my phone on top of my desk and said, “Come on in.”
“I take it, you and Samantha talked?”
I shrugged. “She apologized for not telling me about her daughter, and we’re going to try to figure this shit out. Man, I don’t have a fucking clue how to navigate this one, but I guess it’ll make sense over time.”
He took a seat in one of the chairs in front of me. “The first step was her brother, and you made it through that. Now, I’m sure she has to figure out how to balance you and the little girl. Is the dad still in the picture?”
“No, it doesn’t sound like he ever was.”
Brett lifted a squish ball off my desk and tossed it into the air, caught it, and threw it high again. “Are you going to meet her kid right away?”
“She didn’t bring that up, but I have a feeling, it’s going to take a while.”
