by K. N. Banet
“She’s not scared of you or them. She’s just sensitive. She doesn’t like hurting people or making them feel uncomfortable,” Agent Smith explained. “We’ll get out of your hair now. Um…tell Alpha Everson we apologize for this intrusion. We’re required to come by at least once a year, and normally, it goes smoothly. The parents are never comfortable, of course, but we try to make it easy on everyone involved.”
“Why?” I demanded. “Why do you need to come out once a year? Doesn’t my government trust werewolves to be decent parents?”
“Yes and no. We want to make sure the children are getting the right education and will have a choice to follow their parents or not without being pressured. It’s invasive, for sure, but we’ve actually saved a few kids. Some were being treated like they were werewolves already, which you can imagine, is a much harder lifestyle.”
That would be a rough way to treat a human child. A werewolf youth could handle getting snapped at or getting roughed up a little. It was expected, a necessary lesson in dominance and controlling the animal instincts to learn how to behave, like a wild animal teaching its young. Human kids didn’t need those lessons.
I nodded slowly. “Well, Heath doesn’t do that,” I promised. I’d kill him if I ever caught teeth marks on Carey’s arms, and no amount of feeling I had for him would stop me.
“Of course. You have a nice day.” Agent Taylor bowed his head a little and walked out. I went to a window and watched them disappear down the trail. The woman was already gone, hopefully having headed back to their vehicle with Miss Davis.
Carey was the first person to come up to me.
“There’s always one mean person in the group,” she whispered. “Always. It’s never the same one, but there’s always one who tries to make Dad and Landon feel bad for being werewolves. They always try to make me say stuff that will make Dad look bad.”
“Why didn’t you ever tell me about this?” I asked gently, looking down at her. “Carey…”
“Because it embarrasses Dad. It embarrasses me. It’s like how my school counselor always pulls me into her office, just for a ‘quick chat,’ so I never bring it up. They just don’t understand, and they never will. Why talk about it all the time when there’s no way to change it?”
There was a naïve and sad wisdom to those words. Why, indeed?
I hadn’t known about the school counselor. That bothered me, but I figured it was best not to bring it up—definitely not today—but maybe another time when my sweet girl wasn’t feeling so obviously bruised.
“How did they only just find out about me?” I crossed my arms. “And why didn’t I see them last year?” This was their second summer in my territory. If this happened yearly, they should have already wanted to meet me.
“Oh, they didn’t visit last year. They talked a lot with Dad after he left the Dallas pack—”
“They wanted to give us time to settle in a new place,” Heath said, cutting off his daughter as he walked back in. “This is the first time I’ve seen them since. This was why I had to run out on you this morning.”
“Ah.” I looked over his face and saw what Carey mentioned. There was shame in his eyes. Something weighed down his normally proud posture, all that powerful Alpha in him crippled by the idea someone thought he wasn’t a good enough father or even safe to be around his daughter.
We stared at each other over her head. I wanted to strangle him because I’d just had to expose myself to government agencies. They would come back and ask more questions. My life now had a giant spotlight on it.
“You might want to tell your family this happened,” he whispered.
“Oh, I plan to,” I snapped. “Damn it, Heath. You could have told me something like this was coming up. I could have prepared something, anything that might have made this go a little smoother. Instead, I was blindsided and didn’t know what I was dealing with. The BSA is out of my league. I can barely handle secret supernatural shit, and now the people who like to expose people like me have been in my house.”
He looked down at Carey, then back up at me. I put my hands over her ears and felt her sigh.
“Don’t get high and mighty with me right now,” I growled. “She can handle a couple of bad words. What I can’t handle is being the person who…” I stopped and inhaled sharply. “Is there a chance they bugged my house?”
“No. They never have before, and they can’t start now. That’s something the North American Werewolf Council fought with them about a decade ago. They can’t secretly spy on us like that. Since you’re ‘human,’ they have even less right or reason to.”
“Good, then I’ll continue. What I can’t handle is being the person who might expose werecats to the United States government. Slip ups might happen, but if they start thinking I’m a supernatural, I’ll have to leave the country. You’ll probably have to leave, too. No one wants that, right?”
“Right,” he agreed softly. I deflated at the defeat in his voice.
“I’m sorry. I’m pissed, but…” I let go of Carey and started to walk out of the kitchen.
“You have every right to be.” I stopped at his words, leaning over to let my forehead touch the frame of the doorway I was in. “I should have mentioned it this morning, should have mentioned it before the last full moon, should have mentioned they might want to meet you because Carey spends so much time with you. I should have mentioned all of that. It’s not easy being looked at like I’m a danger to my own family, and I was too much of a coward to bring it up. I never wanted to tell you about it when we moved in, and then we became friends, and I…was too ashamed.”
“Well, now I know, and we can work with this,” I said softly. “Let me take you three out to lunch.”
“Let me buy.” I opened my mouth to turn him down, but he lifted a hand and kept talking. “As an apology and a thank you for your involvement today. You did great, by the way. None of them really believed you weren’t human. A highly opinionated human is what they’re probably going to write down.”
“Fine,” I sighed. “But you and I need to talk privately later, away from prying ears.”
Carey’s long, drawn-out sigh told me she knew exactly who I was talking about.
Before we left, I grabbed the sketchbook Jabari left me and threw it into a bag. Heath and I had a lot to talk about.
4
Chapter Four
Lunch went as smoothly as it could with me angry at Heath, while Landon and Carey tried to ignore it. Heath took me and his family out for pizza, something easy and fast because the tension was probably too much to deal with. I had to be angry with him, but I didn’t want to be. There was a difference. He spent the morning kissing me and couldn’t bother to tell me the BSA was coming into my territory. I already knew I had to tell Hasan, and that wasn’t going to go over well.
Once Carey was done eating, Landon took her somewhere in Heath’s truck. I had to ignore her vocal protest. In some ways, she knew more about the world of werewolves and humans than I did because she lived in it while I was an outsider. In other ways, I knew much more about the supernatural world at large, and there were things I knew Heath kept from his daughter.
Even though I knew a lot more than Carey, I barely knew anything myself. Every day, that became clearer, especially when I spent time talking to my family, who were so deep into the supernatural world, I was certain they barely knew what it meant to be human in this day and age.
Heath and I went into his home, in a sense the only neutral ground, both my and Heath’s territory. We walked into his office, me trying to continue to ignore his bad design choices with all the brown furniture. I couldn’t get over that I really didn’t like his favorite colors. Being internally distraught by his interior design helped me ignore the long, drawn-out silence between us.
He locked his office door as I sat down on a small loveseat. I could smell Landon the most, and picturing the scene in my head was easy. Heath would sit behind his desk, facing the door with the large windo
w behind him. Landon would sit here, and they would talk about the family, things that needed to be done, or possibly me. Landon might even relax for just a moment, something I didn’t think I’d ever witnessed. This room was his father’s office, and he could probably be a son, not a werewolf, a second in command, or the older brother. He could just be Heath’s son.
The idea of that image resonated with me because I had done the same thing when I lived with Hasan. I would sit in his office and read a book on a similar couch while he worked. For a moment, I wanted that again. I wanted to visit Hasan and just sit in his office, a refuge where I knew he would protect me from the outside world and let me clear my head.
“You look like you’re thinking about something important,” Heath commented, sitting beside me. “Care to tell me?”
“This couch smells like Landon. There’s a couch in Hasan’s office I’m certain smells like Niko right now. It probably smelled like me for a few years. Hasan would let me hide in his office if I needed to. I want to right now,” I explained, not looking at my werewolf. “I don’t like attention, Heath, and you put a giant spotlight on me.”
“You’ve had a lot of attention since we met. I figured you would almost be used to it by now.” There was a bite of annoyance to his words, which pissed me off.
“Getting used to it and liking it are two very different things. Carey is used to you serving her lima beans at dinner, but she absolutely hates eating them.” I growled softly. “Even then, it’s one thing to expose me further to the supernatural world and another to expose me to the human one. The supernatural world knows what I am, who I am. I’m a werecat, and there’s an expectation I’m left alone. Humans? Heath, exposing me to humans could expose werecats to humans. I’m fairly certain neither of us wants to be the reason that happens.”
A small growl told me Heath was listening but frustrated.
“I already apologized,” he said stiffly. “I’m sorry. How much more do you want from me, Jacky? Do you want me to deny the BSA and CPS visitation with Carey? Because that will get her taken away faster than you and I could blink. It would be a firestorm. Imagine the headlines? ‘Werewolf Alpha has a human daughter taken from him over safety concerns.’ Or ‘Werewolf Alpha resists human government’s efforts to protect a human girl.’ I’m sorry you were brought up, and they wanted to meet you. I am. I understand the reason why you’re upset. I just…” He stood up and ran his hand through his hair. “There’s nothing I can do. This is out of my control.”
It hit me that Heath’s problems and his annoyance had nothing to do with me, and my anger eased. He was right; he couldn’t do anything. For a dominant creature like Heath Everson, it was eating him up. His apology was sincere.
“What else don’t I know?” I asked softly, trying not to sound angry with him anymore. He was making it a point to beat himself up more than I could, and I regretted my initial outburst. “If there’s anything…”
“Jacky, the depth of supernatural knowledge you don’t know would take years to teach,” he said, sagging back into the seat next to me. “Years. You don’t even get the simplest of magics others use in their daily lives. You don’t have fae contacts or know a local vampire nest, and I know you chose this region because many of those things aren’t close by. You don’t know what other supernaturals run in the area around you, in the major cities.”
“I knew about you,” I snapped, angry he thought I was so ignorant. “I knew about the Dallas pack and know about the Houston pack and the fucking Austin pack and the New Orleans pack.” I knew where all the werewolves who could possibly be a threat lived.
“Why did you know about me? Why did you know about the Dallas pack, Jacky?” He leaned back, shifting his body, so his chest was toward me. His legs outstretched, and I found myself thinking about the moment I met Heath Everson in the back of a pack SUV.
“Because…” I looked away. “Hasan taught me to know where werewolf packs were located near me, so I could keep an eye out for trouble.”
“Did he tell you how to get to the Market? Do you even know what the Market is? Or the Mygi Corporation and Foundation? The hospital where your family took Niko and Zuri after that explosion? You know just as well as I do, in some ways, you are just as ignorant as my daughter when it comes to the supernatural world.”
I leaned over and rubbed my temples.
“Are you saying I need to start learning?” I didn’t want to. I liked my home. I liked my simple life, even as it tried to grow more complicated.
“I’m saying you should think carefully when you ask what else don’t you know,” he clarified. “If you want to keep the illusion you live a simple life, you need to ask questions like that with much more care. I can teach you. Jacky, I can expand your worldview, but you might hate me for it…and I don’t want that,” he ended in a whisper. I saw his hand come into view before it dipped down and grabbed my chin. I didn’t fight as he lifted my head, so he could stare into my eyes. His grey-blue eyes looked a little scared, a little hurt, very sad. “I don’t want that.”
“You said, years.” I licked my lips. “Would about six years cover it?”
“Yeah? Maybe? Why six?” He frowned. I turned, breaking his hold.
“I left home too early. There was a lot Hasan still wanted to teach me. Ten years is the accepted amount of time for a new werecat to live with their…parent. I left his home and protection after four years. If you think I don’t know how ignorant I am, you are sorely mistaken.” I sighed, staring at the far wall. “But that’s not the point. What I was trying to ask…Is there anything about you and your family I need to know? Is there anything you’ve kept from me like today that could put me or my kind at risk?”
“I…” He trailed off, a look of concentration coming over his face. “I don’t know, actually. Nothing off the top of my head.”
“Good. Since we’re on the topic, and because you owe me for today…is there anything you think I should know, even if it has nothing to do with today?” I narrowed my eyes on him, waiting and wondering what his answer would be.
“There are…some things I might be able to help you with,” he said carefully as if he was trying not to upset me. “But you could ask them of Hasan or any of your siblings, I bet. With Hasan’s connection and position with the Tribunal, I’m sure he knows even more than me.”
“I’m not asking him, though. What’s wrong with you telling me?”
“Jacky, there have always been a couple of things I wished you did to protect yourself and Carey—always—but I never brought them up and don’t want to bring them up because I know how you would react.” He seemed so uncomfortable. “If I had told you a year ago, you would have stomped your foot and said I was trying to be your Alpha.”
I flinched. He was right, I would have. I would have been pissed. Now, I was pissed I didn’t know things—not that I had ever wanted to know any of it—but now it seemed like the safest thing. Better to live with knowledge I didn’t need than continue to be ignorant. It was a lesson that should have sunk in years before, but I had gotten complacent. I had successfully lived with the limited knowledge I had. With the BSA sniffing around my territory, I had the foreboding sensation I couldn’t live like that any longer.
“Jacky?” Heath’s voice was so gentle and soft. There wasn’t any dominance or indication the man beside me was a werewolf Alpha, based on the way he said my name.
“Sorry, I got lost in thought. You’re right. I wouldn’t have liked you telling me how to do anything, especially if it meant reaching out to other supernaturals or doing something different than I have for years,” I said, sighing heavily.
“I know today really bothered you, but what else is going on?” He shifted closer, an arm going around my shoulders, not touching me, but over the back of the couch. It was such a startling change from the passion we had this morning.
I didn’t like it.
I leaned into him, smelling how shocked that made him. For a moment, I wished we were hum
an, and this could be normal. It wasn’t and would never be normal, though. Nothing in our lives was.
With my head on his chest, I pointed at the bag I had dragged into his house.
“She was wearing a necklace with a rune of power,” I whispered. “And it’s making me…paranoid. She hated you, Heath. Hates werewolves. Tried to convince me or see if I did, too.” I shook my head. “Yet she was wearing a rune of power. I don’t know which one. I still haven’t looked it up. I think…not knowing BSA would take an interest in your family and my life and her…it just freaked me out. I don’t like having the spotlight on me, but it’s here and…I don’t know how to really protect myself from it. Maybe it’s time I learned.”
“Don’t give up what you love and who you are because you’re scared.” His words were warm as his breath drifted over my ear. “The BSA is my problem. I don’t want you to change or be forced to change because of my problems.”
I turned a little and smiled sadly.
“Heath, it’s not just about them,” I said softly, moving so my lips grazed against his. Heat built as I searched for comfort. His breath was heavier as I spoke. “What about us? We have this secret and…” If anyone found out, we were dead. Not even my relationship with Hasan would save me. My siblings, as much as they might care in their own way, wouldn’t be able to save me. Part of me wasn’t certain they would try. Maybe Hisao would be the one who did me in.
“I know,” he murmured. He was the one who leaned in as though I was some sort of magnet, and he couldn’t resist.
Our lips met in a slow kiss, one that reminded both of us exactly what the problem was.
We shouldn’t have these feelings. They’re going to get us killed.
When the kiss ended, I sighed.
“Anything I can do that can keep protecting all of us is stuff I need to learn,” I said, showing him just how freaked out the BSA visit left me. “This is my territory, and I swore to you I would protect you.”
