by K. N. Banet
“Ouch.” I winced. “Asshole.”
“He was right. I still love him. I thought everything was perfect, and he tried to ask me for more time with him and our children, but I never thought it was serious. I was bringing home good money, and my career was really important to me. I was finally done having babies, so I could focus on it. One day, I came home, and our kids weren’t there…”
I could smell the tears. We had no lighting in the room or outside, but I didn’t need to see them. The smell alone was enough to know how badly my sister hurt.
“He told me…he wanted me to move out. He’d already secured an apartment in Minneapolis and wanted me to move into it. I left, thinking…he’ll want me to come back. So, I didn’t change. After a year, I went to him and asked, and he just looked at me like I was crazy. I realized then my marriage was over. I got an offer to work at Mygi, accepted, and moved out of the city down to Rochester.”
“Gwen…”
“He started dating last year,” she whispered.
“I’m so sorry.” I moved across the room to sit next to her. Wrapping an arm around her shoulder, I pulled her in as she cried for a moment. This was still an open wound for her, and she was still my sister. I couldn’t let her bleed this out when I was the one who brought it up. I couldn’t remain so detached.
“I was a fool. I was arrogant and selfish.” She wiped her face as she pulled away. “And now my kids barely talk to me. I asked for it. I put my job in front of them. I missed their games and everything else. I gave birth to them, then I handed them over for their dad to take care of, so I could get back to work.”
“That doesn’t sound like you.” I knew my sister was driven, but having a family had always been a dream of hers. Always.
“I had them, then I didn’t know what to do. After my daughter, I dealt with postpartum depression. Almost didn’t have my son,” she explained, looking away now. “Our parents tried to help, but…”
“They’re our parents. Mental health doesn’t exist. Get up and deal with it like an adult,” I whispered.
“Exactly. We’re both trained to know otherwise, but the fact of the matter is, that way of thinking is hard to break through. They love their grandchildren. They see them more than I do.” She waved a hand, an obvious sign for me to dismiss the topic. “What about you? What’s life been like for you for the last twelve years?”
“Very different and very similar to the one I lived as a human,” I answered, swallowing. “I own a bar in the middle of my territory with two employees. Heath and his family live toward the edge of my territory, and I see them all the time.” Shrugging, I tried to find a way to put my life into words. “Not being human anymore…things are different. I don’t have as many friends as I used to. I can’t. I’ve changed a lot. There are some personality traits that werecats can’t avoid, just like werewolves. You’ll never meet a werewolf who doesn’t love to be a part of a big, cohesive pack or community. You’ll never meet a werecat who doesn’t like having space and alone time, hidden from the rest of the world.”
“Why is that?”
“We’re not human anymore. When the full moon rises, and the sun falls, I turn into a big cat with five-inch-long fangs. That cat isn’t just a physical form I control…she’s a piece of me. She’s primal urges, something wild that lurks in my mind. She’s not something else, she’s me. She’s every instinct to hunt and survive. She’s the instinct to fight against intruding predators and protect her territory and whatever else may belong to her. It’s easier for the human mind to detach from those urges by making it sound like the animal is other, but it’s not. Werecats, werewolves, even vampires, any supernatural species that was once human, we’re irrevocably changed by what we’ve become. Something new was added to the equation of our humanity.” I pulled my knees up and wrapped my arms around them, rubbing my upper forearms. I wasn’t chilled, but I felt the need to warm up.
“I remember when you didn’t believe in magic,” she whispered. “Not that I ever did, either.”
“Easier to do as a human. I’ve seen things…”
“Me, too. Obviously, I’m still human, but…” Gwen nodded as I chuckled at her response. After a moment of silence, she continued. “You said it was similar, too. How?”
“Oh.” Snorting, I shook my head. I had been thinking about how my human family and my werecat family treated me. Hasan and my werecat siblings were getting better, but sometimes I was reminded I was the bad kid, the troublesome sibling. I always had been. “There’re some things…”
“Come on, you can tell me. I’ve kept the supernatural secret for a hospital for two years.”
“No, not about this,” I declared as I stood. I needed to move and let my feet take me where they wanted, pacing around the room. “It’ll drag up stuff I try not to think about.”
“Like us? Me, Mom, and Dad?” Gwen sounded hurt. “We were a good family, Jacky. They did their best.”
“For you,” I whispered as I looked her in the eye.
“Excuse me?” Gwen jerked back, insulted. “They loved us.”
“I’m sure,” I mumbled, turning away again. “It doesn’t matter, Gwen—”
“It does matter. You cut us out of your life, and for what? I didn’t cut them out when they disregarded my depression. It was bad, but they were only doing what they thought was—”
“What they thought was best,” I finished for her, nodding. I paced once more around the room before propping myself on the far wall again. “Yeah, that’s a favorite excuse of parents. From what I’ve learned, it doesn’t matter the species. They’ll always do what they think is for the best.”
“Then what’s—”
“When are you going to understand I couldn’t go back? I’m not human anymore, Gwen!”
“I understand you’re hiding behind that excuse, but it feels like there’s a much deeper reason why you never bothered to pick up a phone and call any of us. Even a token phone call would have been—”
“I didn’t want to,” I growled. “Is that what you want to hear? I didn’t want to contact our parents. I didn’t want to contact you. I didn’t want to be surrounded by reminders of my human life, day in and day out. I didn’t want to be reminded Shane was dead, or that I could never live a normal life. I didn’t want to scare our family and see how much they hated what I had become. They never liked werewolves. How do you think they would feel about me?”
“You know, those reasons might work if I didn’t work with other supernaturals—”
“Do you have a way out?” I demanded. “If you ever wanted to stop working for my world, is that possible?”
“Well, yes. They would transfer me to another great hospital. They would tamper with my memory a little, but there’re ways out for humans at the hospital.” Gwen’s confusion at the turn in the argument was clear.
“I don’t,” I hissed softly. “There’s no leaving for me. Since the day Hasan bit me, since the day he Changed me, there was no turning back. I will always be in this world. You said it earlier. You’ve heard the stories about me, the rumors about what I’ve done with my immortality. Do you honestly think it would be smart for me to reach out to my vulnerable human family members? Do you? Between the werewolves, werecats, and fucking vampires, I’m pretty sure I’ve made enemies I don’t even know about.” Scoffing, I turned my back on her. I hadn’t even brought up my one and only run-in with the fae. “It’s not like you tried after you found out what I was, so what does it matter? You’ve known for a few months that I’m a werecat, and you didn’t bother reaching out.”
“That…” Gwen never continued that sentence, leaving us standing in silence that threatened to drive me mad.
“It’s long past, Gwen. You have your road, and I have mine,” I whispered, looking over my shoulder. I couldn’t bear the silence anymore, the crushing weight of it as we stood in the same room and couldn’t be more different people. “And I liked it that way.”
“You always were—�
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Gwen stopped as Heath walked back in. As he entered slowly, we both watched him, and she never continued when he came up beside me.
“Jacky, come outside with me for a moment,” he said softly as he drew close. I followed him out the backdoor.
“What’s wrong?”
“Since the death of Alpha Vasiliev, the hospital has been making regular calls to all of their employees, making them check-in, both verbally and physically at the hospital. An ER nurse didn’t check-in. They tried calling her, and no one answered. That was two hours ago,” he explained softly. “They reported it to the Tribunal, who had put all werewolves living in the area to finding her.”
“The werewolves make sense. You guys find people better than anyone from scent alone, and this could be related to your mess. Where are the Russians?” I crossed my arms, not liking the sinking sensation in my gut.
“The ones everyone knew about left the hospital, but they haven’t left the country. As it stands, there’s no public reason to believe this ER nurse is connected to Alpha Vasiliev.”
“We know better.”
“We do,” he agreed. “And I promise you, others are thinking the same. My contact with the NAWC made it clear they all feel the Russians are playing a game, but no one really understands what’s at stake or what the game even is. Mygi Hospital still refuses to release any information about who treated who and how they might be connected. There’s a chance the Russians know more than they’re letting on, and the leadership at the hospital is trying to scramble to protect their people from further problems.”
“Their silence is becoming detrimental,” I growled, talking about the policies at Mygi Hospital. “So, we have no one who can confirm if this ER nurse treated the female werewolf.”
“We have one person, but I wanted to talk to you before approaching her.”
I sighed, my shoulders sagging. “I don’t know,” I admitted. “I didn’t even think to ask her. I don’t want to.”
“Why?” He watched me intently as I leaned on the car.
“You said it earlier. I’m already trying to get my sister off for murder. She killed a reportedly awful man and is standing beside that, not that I can blame her. If they never know she’s involved, should we go further? If they never rule Alpha Vasiliev’s death a murder, does it matter?” Crossing my arms, I looked at my feet. The need to keep my sister out of danger and trouble was one thing, but I didn’t want to go after a werewolf pack unless I absolutely had to.
“I understand.” Heath leaned on the hood next to me. “And I don’t disagree. I don’t like her, your sister, but you were right. She’s your sister, and you feel you have an obligation. I can’t fault you for it. It’s the same obligation I feel for any of my family, alive and dead. As for her reasons for killing Alpha Vasiliev…you were also right about that, and I can’t fault her reasons. I just wish this didn’t land on us to deal with.”
“Me neither,” I agreed, swallowing that painful pill. “If I had the chance, knowing what he did to women…”
“I know. In that way, you and Gwen really are twins.” Heath’s words held a note of teasing. I side-eyed him, hoping he would elaborate. “Jacky, I think she’s set in her convictions. She’s decided the way werewolves have gone about this is wrong. She’s done what she felt was right and is obviously willing to stand by it. You do the same thing. You stood in front of the Tribunal and proclaimed all you ever did was uphold your word. You walk your own path. Apparently, so does she.”
Nobody had ever said Gwen and I were that much alike. Never. In fact, we had grown up with our differences showcased at every opportunity. She was always smarter, more stable, more obedient.
“How do we get out of this without it blowing up?” I asked, turning to stare at the woodlands around us. This was an old farm, completely overrun by trees and shrubbery. The idea of running through the wilds called to me. Just run from the problems. They were so human, and I was tired of these sorts of dramas playing out in my life. The idea of running was instinctive.
The idea of fighting for my sister was something my humanity wanted.
“We hope the hospital continues to cover for Gwen,” he whispered. “Sit here and ride it out. We can’t take her back to your territory. That’s too suspicious.”
“Wouldn’t the hospital be doing an investigation of their own?” I asked, swallowing. “Won’t they realize she killed him?”
“Yes.” A large, warm hand touched my lower back and began to make circles. “But…”
“But?” I raised an eyebrow as I turned. “They’ll turn her in.”
“Maybe, but I’ve been thinking about that. What if you and I reached out to the hospital and tried to broker a deal? What if she was punished internally, and it never went to the Tribunal?”
I stared at him, my eyes narrowing as I considered what my smart Alpha werewolf was thinking.
“Do you think we have enough political power to make that happen?” I considered my question as I asked it. “I’m a daughter of a Tribunal member…”
“I’m just some werewolf, but I wouldn’t matter in the end. You do, daughter of Hasan.”
Nodding, I accepted that.
“Do you think they might know about our relationship already?” Crossing my arms, I looked toward the back door, thinking about my sister just beyond, tucked away inside and safe. “Do you think they put it together?”
“If they didn’t, they’re fools,” Heath said with a dark chuckle. “You and she look too much alike. She has the age lines of humanity, but you have the same eyes, the same hair. You seem a little more vibrant, but that’s the magic of the curse and our immortality. In comparison, she seems dull. She lacks magic. That’s all.”
“So, the hospital is asking everyone to report in. She obviously hasn’t, but they haven’t put anyone to finding her yet…” I took a sharp breath. “Do you think they might have guessed I’m here? Or that I would get involved?”
“What would their game be?” he asked, then growled softly. “Blackmail.”
I nodded again, very slowly as that piece of the problem fell into place.
We didn’t have a chance to continue our conversation, though, as my sister screamed.
15
Chapter Fifteen
Heath and I nearly took the doors down as we ran inside and found my sister, where we had left her in the dark back room of the abandoned home. The only source of light in the room was the glow of a cell phone screen, illuminating her face and showing the sheer terror there. Her heavy breathing had a soft whimper to it, the moaning of pain and fear. Her scent told the same story.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, rushing to her side. “Sis?”
Her hands were shaking, and she dropped the phone as I grabbed her before she could fall. I eased her to the floor, ignoring the phone as Heath grabbed it.
“Talk to me,” I pleaded as her mouth hung in shock.
“Fuck,” Heath murmured. “Jacky, they know.”
“Who knows what?” I demanded, turning to him while keeping my hands on my sister. I couldn’t let her go. I wouldn’t let her go.
“The Russians,” he whispered, turning the phone to me, showing me the gory mess on the screen.
“Oh…”
“That’s…that’s…” Gwen began to cry, and all I could do was rub her back. Slow and steady, I tried to comfort her. My stomach twisted at what was on the screen. There was a person there, though there was no way of knowing if the person was alive or dead—most likely dead.
Heath was the one who stepped up.
“Gwen, an ER nurse went missing. Is that her? Did this woman work in the ER?” He went to a knee in front of us, his eyes trained on my sister. “Is it?”
She nodded, sobbing as she covered her face and pulled her knees up.
“Did she know what you did and why?” I needed answers. It felt like I was always one step behind. I didn’t know who I was dealing with, what their intentions were, nothing.
“Yes,” Gwen whispered the word, breaking into another sob. “We were friends.”
“Was she one of the nurses who treated—”
“Yes,” Gwen repeated. “Sarah. Her name is Sarah. She was involved. She was one of the emergency teams who initially helped Vasiliev when he came in and prepped him for surgery. She saw Devora when she came in as well. She specialized in werewolves and werecats.”
Her shaky breath rattled me to the core as I recognized the sound as something I had done before. It was what I did when I knew I needed to focus, even as the world crumbled around me.
“Gwen, what do you want to do?” I knew she was already considering her next move. She was smart enough to know to find Everett to find me. She was smart enough to know she couldn’t go back to her home. When she didn’t answer, I grabbed her arm, probably more roughly than I should have, and yanked her to pay attention to me. “Gwen, what do you want to do? What’s your endgame here?”
When Heath tried to comment before my sister could answer, I waved a hand at him, stopping him from interrupting.
When she looked up, I saw resolve again in her eyes.
“I want to see them fall. We knew killing Alpha Vasiliev would only take out one problem, but his entire inner circle of werewolves…they’re all just as bad. We were hoping the infighting after he died would destroy the pack from the inside, but…”
“But what?” I snapped. “We are beyond the point where you needed to tell me fucking everything.”
“We…we recorded a full interview from Devora. She said it all. I was there. We didn’t know what we were going to do about it because the hospital had already made it clear they wouldn’t let us take it to the Tribunal. We’re neutral. I’ve never worked at a hospital where we didn’t report abuse, but Mygi Hospital is set on remaining neutral. They won’t report anything.”
“That doesn’t answer my question, sis,” I growled softly. “Did any of you think this through?”
