We sat next to each other without speaking, both of us watching Daphne’s seemingly unquenchable energy.
“She really is quite the loveliest little girl,” Eden said finally.
“I know. I’m glad you’ve finally met her.”
“I never had an invite before.”
“Yeah, I feel embarrassed about that. But I’m glad you’re here now.”
The silence descended again for a minute more. We were sat there leaning towards each other, but still not touching. Not even looking at each other, just staring at Daphne as she took Edna for a ride on the roundabout.
“How have you been?” I asked.
“I’ve been okay. Once the prospect of prison stopped hanging over me, I went to Bermuda. Have you ever visited?”
I shook my head. “Tiger Bay is the most exotic place I’ve ever been to, and I was born a mile from there.”
“If you get a chance, you should go. The air is so clear over there. It’s good for settling one’s mind.” She turned to regard me with an unreadable smile. “And how have you been, Joe? You seem well.”
“I’m fine, I suppose,” I shrugged. “Incredibly, my life has gone on much as before. Just without you…”
“Not quite as before,” she told me. “I don’t remember you coming to see young Daphne once when we were together. You’d always find something else to do. Mostly me.”
I couldn’t help a blush filling my cheeks. “I moved home too.”
“I’m glad to hear it. I hope it’s not as much of a pigsty as the last place.”
“It’s better,” I said, “although it could do with a woman’s touch.”
The thought hung awkwardly between us and we stared out into the park again. Daphne had found a little playmate, a young boy with thick glasses and black hair who she was introducing to her new dolly.
“What are you up to now, Eden?”
She sighed. “I’m going to do some theatre. Despite what the newspapers say, there’s one promoter who seems convinced that the punters out there will pay their hard-earned money to see a scarlet lady. We start in Aberdeen three weeks Monday, a new production of Charley’s Aunt. Have you ever seen it?”
Again I shook my head. “I’ve lived an uncultured and untravelled life. I’ve lived a sheltered life.”
It was good to hear Eden laugh again, that rich, deep, smooth laugh. “We both know that isn’t true.”
“I’d be happy to see it, though, to find out all about Charley and his aunt. Maybe if you give me the schedule, I can find a date when I can come up and see you?”
Her shoulders tensed for a second, before she gave a long, thoughtful sigh.
“Do you really think that would be wise, Joe?”
“Wise?”
Her hand reached out to mine and finally we touched, her squeezing my fingers so tenderly.
“I know I’ve tracked you down today, I know I’ve barged in here on this day with your daughter, but I couldn’t let the last time I saw you be in the terrible confines of that courtroom. We had to see each other again. But as for the future, do you really think that’s wise?”
It seemed as if my voice wouldn’t come out as anything but a croak. “What do you mean?”
“I mean that bad things happen when we’re together, don’t they? That we bring out the worst in each other. Or maybe we bring out the best in each other, but that’s the worst for the world around us. I don’t know. I honestly don’t know.”
“What are you saying, Eden?” I was squeezing her fingers tight, too.
She sighed. “I’m saying that I love you. That I have loved you pretty much since I first met you. I know it took me a hell of a long time to say it, but it’s true. I love you, Joe Jones. I love you and I’m at my happiest when we’re together. But the passion which exists between us is just all-consuming. And I don’t think that’s a good thing.” She hesitated and stared at me with her big blue eyes, tears now budding at the corners. “I’m saying that I love you and I adore you, but I think for our sanity – our personal safety, even – that it would be best if we don’t see each other again.”
“What?” Even though I hadn’t truly known if I’d ever see her again, it still felt like a heavy blow to the gut.
“It’s exciting when we’re together, Joe, but it’s too exciting. And it’s dangerous when we’re together, but it’s too dangerous. I can’t keep letting you play the hero for me. And I know you will. There will always be someone who insults me, who affronts me – particularly now. And you’ll want to fight some of those battles for me. Maybe all of them. You’ll say you won’t, but you absolutely will because you can’t help yourself. And because I can’t help being your beloved heroine, I’ll end up letting you. Well, as lovely as being your damsel is, I have to stand up for myself.
“Oh…” She shook her head. “I don’t know if I’m making any sense, but I have to think of my peace of mind. Too much has happened between us – too much that was bad and too much that was good and too much that was intoxicating – and as much as I love you, I can’t get caught up in it again.”
“Look, I know you don’t believe me, but I can change.” My words came quickly, desperately. “I’m going to the boxing ring to spar at least twice a week, I’m getting my temper under control.”
Her other hand reached across and gently touched my cheek. “But it’s not just you, it’s me too. There’s something in me which enjoys seeing you spurred on. Which can’t help but spur you on. And I feel terrible for that, I really do. And I’d like to think if we were together again, that you wouldn’t feel the need to be my hero and I wouldn’t let you be my hero. But I can’t promise that. I can’t promise that we wouldn’t still leave destruction in our path.”
I went to say something, I don’t know what. Probably something along the lines that the worst thing to happen had surely already happened, that it couldn’t be so bad again.
But she stopped me with one unyielding look.
“I love you, Joe, and I will always love you. But the fact is that I don’t think we mix well together and I don’t think we play well with others.”
There were tears in my eyes too as I nodded. “I love you too, Eden. I love you so much.”
She leant in and gave me a lingering kiss on the lips, but stared down and away as she pulled back.
“Maybe when we’re older,” she whispered. “Maybe we’ll mature enough to play nicely with each other. To play nicely with others. Until then, know that I’ll always love you and I’m fully aware that you’ll always love me. But for now” – she glanced once more in the direction of Daphne – “go and play hero for a lady who deserves it.”
With one final squeeze of my fingers, she let go.
“Goodbye, Eden,” I said softly.
“Adieu, Joe.”
Eden St. Michel stood up as if suddenly unsteady on her high heels, and tried to cover it up by smoothing down the front of her coat. Not that anyone was looking at her. Even Daphne had become too caught up with her new best friend. My lost lover’s hair glimmered in the sunlight and she appeared so utterly beautiful, like she was a stranger from another world visiting this shabby part of south London.
Then she walked away.
I dried my tears on the back of my hand and couldn’t help but admire her self-possession. Not once she did turn her head back to glance at me.
Maybe I would have continued crying; certainly the emotion welled up as I watched her become a speck in the distance. But there was Daphne all of a sudden in front of me, staring at me so curiously and lovingly.
“Come and play, Daddy,” she said. “I’m sure the beautiful lady will be back.”
I grinned at her and gave her a big hug, and then she, Edna and I went back to the swings together.
From the audio recordings of Eden St. Michel
“It was the hardest thing I had ever done, but maybe the kindest, too. Absolutely, though, I had to do it. I had to go there and break his heart, knowing that I was going to b
reak mine too.
“Do I miss him?
“Every day of my miserable life.
“Sometimes, if the promoter demands it, I give interviews. Not often. I try to have a refusal written into most contracts, but there’s sometimes no way around it. Mostly the vultures with their spiral notepads want to rake over old coals. They want to talk about the murder and the trial and the crashing down of my glittering career. And of course, I don’t want to talk about any of it, and it’s all so boring to find ways not to talk about it.
“Yet sometimes you get one who isn’t utterly obsessed with the past, and a question they’ll frequently ask is why I never got married. Maybe they’re taking a circuitous route around to ask about my love life, but the answer I always give them is that I’ve never met the right one.
“I did, though. Once upon a time I did. It’s just that no matter how right it felt, we were just no good for each other, no good at all.
“I did see Joe once again, not that long ago really. I was in Selfridges browsing through some sale items, hunting out a new belt. I looked up and suddenly there was Joe, striding by me, with that strong, masculine walk of his. Looking every inch my gorgeous hero.
“He didn’t notice me. Why would he even think I’d be there? But every part of me wanted to cry out, to bring him to me. To have him smile at me again, to have him say hello, to have him swoop me up and squeeze me tight in his big arms.
“Obviously I didn’t. Instead I ducked down and hid myself away in case he turned back. I ducked down, all of me yearning and hurting so much.
“When I wanted to yell out his name, I thought instead of the body we left in Richmond. Even though I’d read in the press that that man’s wife – I didn’t even know he had a wife – had written a book about what a monster he was. Even though I knew from my own experience that he deserved to have bad things happen to him. I thought of his body and that gave me pause.
“It was one bad thing too many between me and Joe. And even though poor Archie Sandibanks had the crime hung around his neck, Joe and I hadn’t really walked away free.
“Maybe one day, enough time will have passed.
“Maybe at some future date, we’ll find a way to be good for each other.
“But not now.
“Not yet.
“One day surely, one day hopefully, but not yet. Not yet, Joe…”
A note from the author
I hope you’ve enjoyed reading ‘Eden St. Michel’.
Back when I started writing ‘Diana Christmas’, I thought it would be only be a one-off, a stand-alone novel. So I was thrilled when I had an idea for a second book and a third book and a fourth book and hopefully beyond.
(I’ll probably take a little break from this series after the fourth book though. By then, I’ll probably need one.)
The next instalment, ‘Alice Rackham’, will be out this October.
If you’d like to be kept abreast of what’s happening in the series, and receive some exclusive content, please do download: ‘An Interview with Charles Ravens’, which will sign you up for the ‘Screen Siren Noir’ mailing list. Charles Ravens was a co-star of both Diana Christmas and Eden St. Michel (and a co-star and lover of Alice Rackham, to boot) so – as you can imagine – he has lots of fascinating insights.
One final thing: if you enjoyed this novel, could you please take the time to leave a short review of it on Amazon?
Reviews are the lifeblood of an indie author. They make the difference between scrabbling along and actually making a living out of our writing. So, if you’re able to find the time to leave your thoughts on ‘Eden St. Michel’ (or ‘Diana Christmas’), then I would be tremendously grateful.
Kind regards,
FRJ.
Coming Soon!
Alice Rackham
Available for pre-order now!
A stunning actress, a Knight of the Realm and a crooked policeman. Theirs was a romance that was always going to end in tragedy.
It was no exaggeration to say that Thomas had never met a woman quite like Alice Rackham. Breathtakingly beautiful and incredibly glamorous; she was already a famous actress and – to him – an older woman. Furthermore, she was adventurous and uninhibited in a way that other girls in 1950’s London weren’t.
But he wasn’t the only man smitten with her. Her ex-lover skulked around ceaselessly outside her home, and that lover kept a bent former detective on retainer. A giant of a man with the ability to make their lives hell.
With Thomas feeling desperate and worried, Alice suggests a trip out to the country. An idyllic break to the wondrous and grand, Carreras Hall. A place where their love could fully bloom.
But their problems are not only going to follow them out there, they’re about to turn deadly.
A new thriller of passion, jealousy and suspense from F.R. Jameson.
The third novel in the Screen Siren Noir series.
Available for pre-order now!
Diana Christmas
AVAILABLE NOW!
His bones have been broken, and his insides bruised and mashed, but still he doesn't regret meeting Diana Christmas!
In 1959, Diana Christmas – the beautiful, vivacious redhead – was a major star in Britain. It was her moment. She was on the cusp of making it big in Hollywood. Then, she simply walked away from the limelight. Vanished from an industry that adored her.
Twenty years later, Michael, a young film journalist, arrives at her suburban home and discovers the still vibrant and alluring Diana. Between her sheets, he hears for the first time the reason for her disappearance – a tale of coercion, shame and blackmail.
To his shock, he learns that those who destroyed her career and ruined her life still have their claws in her.
Totally smitten, he promises to help her. But Michael soon finds that the past doesn’t let go easily…
A new thriller of desire and betrayal from F.R. Jameson.
The first in the Screen Siren Noir series.
Available now!
Available Exclusively!
An Interview with Charles Ravens
Download your copy now!
The English actor, matinee idol and raconteur, Charles Ravens worked with them all. Diana Christmas, Eden St. Michel and Alice Rackham were just a number of the beautiful actresses he was lucky enough to co-star with.
In 1981, he sat down in his back garden in The Cotswolds for a fabulously indiscreet interview in which he reflected on his career and his time in the British film industry, and gave his thoughts on his glamorous co-stars and many others.
You can read that interview exclusively, here!
About the author
F.R. Jameson was born in Wales, but now lives with his wife and daughter in London. He writes thrillers; sometimes of the supernatural variety, and sometimes historical, set around the British film industry. The next novel in his ‘Screen Siren Noir’ series, ‘Alice Rackham’ will be published in October.
You can find out more about the ‘Screen Siren Noir’ series by downloading the exclusive ‘An Interview with Charles Ravens’ here.
He has a regularly updated blog (https://frjameson.com/) where he puts book reviews, film reviews and the occasional writing diary, and you can also find him on Facebook, and follow him on Twitter, Instagram and Pinterest: @frjameson.
Table of Contents
From audio recordings made by Eden St. Michel
Chapter One
Chapter Two
From the audio recordings of Eden St. Michel
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
From the audio recordings of Eden St. Michel
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
From the audio recordings of Eden St. Michel
Chapter Fourteen
&n
bsp; Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
From the audio recordings of Eden St. Michel
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
From the audio recordings of Eden St. Michel
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Five
Chapter Twenty-Six
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Chapter Twenty-Eight
From the audio recordings of Eden St. Michel.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Chapter Thirty
Chapter Thirty-One
Chapter Thirty-Two
From the audio recordings of Eden St. Michel
Chapter Thirty-Three
Chapter Thirty-Four
From the audio recordings of Eden St. Michel
Next in ‘Screen Siren Noir’
An Interview with Charles Ravens
About the author
Eden St. Michel Page 19
