“I don’t care,” I said.
She dried my tears with her sleeve anyway. “You’ve sacrificed everything for me, and I will never forget it as long as I live.”
“You would have done the same for me.”
“But you didn’t ask it.”
I held her as hard as I dared, once again surprised at how small she felt in my arms after embracing Father. A wave of fear washed over me. “I’m not sure I can do this,” I whispered into her ear.
She leaned back to look me in the eyes. “Mother always told us that beauty is power. She believed that our value was something that could be weighed and measured like a pearl at market. But for the last seven years, since I scarred your cheek, I have watched you become independent and strong. Your curiosity leads you to ask questions other girls never even think of. You’ve always been beautiful, Nor. That scar on your cheek? Most people in the village don’t even notice it. That’s not what made the elders choose me over you. They chose me because they believed I would go along with their plans, that I would make the prince a docile and subservient wife.”
“Zadie—”
She placed her hands on my shoulders. “Mother was wrong, Nor. You have the power to do anything and everything you dream of, more than any person I’ve ever known. And that power, that inner strength, that is what makes you the most beautiful girl in Varenia.”
I shook my head. I didn’t feel powerful at all in that moment. I felt sad and scared and very small. “I love you” was all I could manage.
“I will see you again, in this life or another. Now go, meet your destiny.” Zadie pressed a kiss to my forehead and stepped back as Father helped lower me down to the boat.
Sami put his arms around me, not like a brother or a lover, but like a friend, and I was more grateful for him than I’d ever been. The governor himself took up the oars to row us to shore.
I told myself not to look back. I kept my back straight so that Zadie’s last image of me would be one of the power and strength she was so sure I possessed. What she couldn’t see were the tears, the way I dug my nails into my palms and bit down on my lower lip, so I had a different kind of pain to focus on.
As Zadie’s cries were lost to the wind, I recited her final words in my head, attempting to draw strength from them. I was not abandoning the people I loved; I was meeting my destiny, just like we had talked about.
Realization slammed into me like a wave. I may not have asked her to sacrifice for me, but she had done it anyway. She hadn’t told me about her plan because she knew that I would never risk her life if I believed I was going to profit from it in some way. But somehow she had wrested our destinies from the hands of the elders, from Mother, from Thalos himself, and put them to rights.
Bittersweet tears slid down my cheeks. How could I have ever doubted her?
I turned abruptly, hoping I wasn’t too late. All the houses of Varenia, painted in their pinks and yellows, reds and oranges, stretched out across the horizon like a glorious sunset. In front of our rapidly shrinking house, I could barely make out Zadie’s tiny figure in the distance. I raised a hand to show that I understood, and the sob I’d been holding in burst out of me as she raised hers in return.
Sami held me tighter, and I cried until I was finally out of tears.
I eventually fell asleep on his shoulder and woke hours later to the sun beating down on me. Sami and his father took turns rowing for the rest of the day. They were both strong men, but despite leaving not long after sunrise, the sun was sinking rapidly toward the horizon now. Even with my hat, my head was aching from being out in the sun for so long, and my good shirt and skirts were nearly soaked through with sweat. Both men wore thin linen tunics and trousers, a luxury I wasn’t allowed. Fortunately, they’d brought food and water with us, but I couldn’t imagine how they would find the strength to make the journey back tonight.
Finally, the horizon began to change. We were coming ashore southeast of Varenia, and here, at last, was the land I’d dreamed of my whole life: a long stretch of sand in both directions, then farther back, the blurry green haze of the forest.
More details began to come into focus as the waves picked up and started driving us faster toward shore. A line of ten or fifteen men stood facing the sea, their expressions unreadable from here. Their torsos were covered in something hard and stiff, like a turtle’s shell, and their horses stood in a row behind them, massive beasts that seemed to loom larger the closer we got.
Sami set the oars down for a moment, letting the waves do the work. “Nor?”
My eyes met his. “Yes?”
“Are you ready?”
I almost laughed. Of course I wasn’t ready. I would never be ready. The idea of Sami and his father abandoning me here with a dozen strange men was absurd. How would I ever find the strength to leave this boat?
But I bit back my fear. I had to be strong now, so that when Zadie asked Sami if I’d been afraid, he could tell her that I went bravely. “I’m ready.”
He nodded. “I’ll drop anchor a little ways out from shore, just fifteen feet or so, and the captain will come for you, with another guard for your trunk. The captain will probably present a gift to my father, say a few words, and then we’ll leave.”
“I understand. Thank you.”
He ignored his father’s stern gaze and took my hands. “I promise I will take care of Zadie. Please try not to worry.”
“I know.” I leaned forward and kissed him lightly on the cheek, saying goodbye to the boy who had been our best friend and trusted accomplice for as long as I could remember. “We would have managed,” I whispered as I pulled away, referring to the marriage that would never be. “But you will make Zadie the happiest woman in Varenia.”
“I’ll spend my life trying,” he whispered back. “Remember, keep your eyes and ears open.”
“I will.”
Governor Kristos leaned forward and took my chin in his large hands, examining my cheek closely. “The stain is holding. Good.”
I tried to hold back my tears as he released me. “I know things didn’t end well between our families, but—”
“It’s all right, Nor.” He pulled me into a fierce embrace. “You have always been like a niece to me. Be careful in Ilara. I have never met the prince, but I have heard he can be...difficult. He may not take as kindly to your impetuous nature as the emissary did.”
I wondered what he meant by difficult. “Yes, sir.”
“I’ll look after your family, I promise.”
“Thank you.” I kissed him on the cheek as Sami dropped the anchor over the side of the boat.
I scanned the group of men to see who was coming for me and blinked when two stepped out from behind the other guards. They were clad only in loose white tunics and tight trousers, their feet bare. I covered my mouth with one hand to suppress a giggle. The older man had blond hair and a trimmed beard; the other was as smooth-cheeked as Sami. They looked small and weak without their shells, and I told myself to be calm. These men weren’t hungry sharks circling bloodied waters. They were more like the small fishes clinging to a shark’s underbelly; nothing to fear at all.
But as they entered the water and came closer into view, I saw that they were not so small. In fact, both men were taller than any man I’d seen in Varenia, including Jovani. Their shoulders were as broad as Governor Kristos’s, and their mouths were set in grim lines.
I dropped my hand, the smile vanishing from my face, and felt a bubble of panic rising in my throat. Two strange men were coming for me. I’d never met a stranger, at least not until Talin, and these men had no laughter dancing in their eyes.
“I can’t go with them,” I whispered to the governor. But he only stared ahead at the men, his expression as grave as theirs.
“Greetings,” Kristos said as the men approached the side of the boat, chest-deep in the water.
/> “Good day, Governor Kristos,” the bearded man answered. Beneath the facial hair, his skin was tanned but unlined. “I am Captain Osius of King Xyrus’s guard.” His eyes flicked briefly to mine, but his gaze didn’t linger long. Instead, he scanned my entire body. Perhaps Talin had described Zadie to him, and he was confirming that I was the girl the prince had been promised.
“Milady,” he said finally, reaching his hand out to me. “It is an honor to meet you.”
I let him take my hand. He brought it to his mouth, his whiskers tickling my skin as he kissed it, and I had to force myself not to look away at the awkwardness of the gesture. “Thank you,” I managed.
“My second in command, Grig, will help get your belongings to shore. I’m afraid protocol dictates that you may not set foot on solid ground until we are within Ilarean borders, so I will carry you to the carriage.”
I yanked my hand back. “Carry me?”
“Yes, milady. I promise I am up to the task.” His eyes crinkled in the corners, and I felt myself relax a little. Despite his size and serious expression, I suddenly felt that he was someone I could trust, this captain who had the word sea in his name.
He turned to Kristos. “We would like to present the lady’s family with these gifts,” he said, gesturing to a sack Grig was struggling to keep out of the water. “The rest of the bride price will be sent after Prince Ceren agrees to the marriage.”
Kristos grunted in acceptance, and Grig laid the bag in the bottom of the boat. I wondered what was in it; something useful, I hoped, like food or clothing.
Sami helped Grig lift my trunk out of the boat, while the captain held out a hand to me. “Now then, milady. May I help you down?”
I placed one hand in Captain Osius’s, hoping he wouldn’t notice how badly it trembled. I rose on numb legs and was grateful when Sami took my other arm, steadying me. I glanced back at him once, forced a smile, and stepped into the waiting arms of the captain. Grig, carrying the trunk on his head, turned toward shore, and Osius followed.
I watched over his shoulder as Sami raised his hand in one final farewell, before picking up the oars and disappearing over the crest of a wave.
11
This was it. Quite probably the last time I would ever see anyone I knew again. A cold pit formed in my stomach, as if the slippery eel had just turned to stone. I let my chin fall against the captain’s damp tunic; he didn’t falter in his stride toward land.
When I began to feel the ocean falling away and my wet skirts growing heavier as they dragged in the water, I raised my head again. The captain’s footfalls left soft impressions in the sand, something I’d never seen—the only sand I’d ever touched had been underwater. I longed to bury my own feet in it, but the captain had said I couldn’t walk here. The sand made a crunching noise as he walked farther inland, and then a softer sound, like grain spilling out of a sack.
I had thought so much about how different things would look on land, but I’d forgotten all about how they’d sound.
And smell. As we got closer to the row of guards, a sharp scent like chopped onions filled my nostrils, the odor of a dozen men dressed in heavy leather after a day spent in the blazing sun. And beyond that, something stronger, but warm and almost sweet: what I would later recognize as the smell of horses.
Captain Osius walked past the other guards and their horses into the tree line, and I stared up in wonder. The trees were immense, bigger than any plant I’d ever seen, but the leaves that rustled in their branches were small and delicate. I reached out and plucked one off a branch as we walked past, rubbing it between my fingers. It felt smooth and slippery. When I brought it to my nose and sniffed, I felt Captain Osius’s chest heave up and down. He was laughing at me.
I dropped the leaf and stiffened in his arms, realizing how ridiculous I must seem to someone like him, someone who’d seen so much more than I had. It wouldn’t matter that it was his king who had kept me an ignorant “wave child” in the first place.
From now on, I would keep my curiosity to myself.
“Here we are, milady.”
The carriage was a large wooden structure with doors and windows, like a house on wheels, with four brown horses harnessed to the front. It was nearly dark now, but there were lanterns hanging from the sides of the carriage, illuminating the intricate carvings in the wood.
“Milady,” a young woman said, stepping out of the carriage and dropping into a curtsy. For a moment, I forgot myself and stared. Her white-blond hair was pulled back in two long fishtail braids that framed a sallow face as pale as a sun-bleached sand dollar. When her sky blue eyes flicked up to mine, I noticed purplish smudges below them, giving her a tired and almost sickly appearance.
Her dress was made of a heavy, dark gray fabric, pulled tight across her torso to accentuate a flat chest and the tiniest waist I’d ever seen. I glanced down at my own sodden tunic and skirts, feeling like the drowned rat that had once come in on a sack of grain from the floating market and sent Zadie and me screaming out of the house. I could imagine what this woman was thinking: this is what the most beautiful girl in Varenia looks like?
“Good evening,” I said, nodding in what I hoped was the appropriate manner.
She smiled. “I’m Ebb. I’ll be your lady’s maid in Ilara. And on the journey, of course. You must be... Well, I can’t even imagine what you must be feeling right now. But getting you out of those wet clothes is the least we can do.”
“We should depart within the hour, Ebb,” Captain Osius said as he handed me into the carriage. “Be sure she gets some hot tea into her before we go.”
The interior was more spacious than it seemed from the outside. There was a bench on either end covered in deep crimson velvet. White cloth was hung over the windows, and heavier red drapes were pulled to either side. Ebb closed them now.
“For privacy,” she explained. “It’s a bit dark, but we’ll do our best.”
There was a lantern in here, but only one candle, and I was grateful for the dim lighting. I was crouched over, unable to stand up straight in the carriage, and a puddle was starting to form around me on the floor. My feet squelched on the damp fabric. Was nothing left bare in Ilara?
I flinched when I felt Ebb’s hand on my back.
“It’s all right, milady. I’ll just help you out of these wet clothes and get you dried off a bit.”
The next several minutes passed in awkward silence. No one had ever seen me without clothes on, outside of my family. It was summer, but tiny bumps sprang up on my bare skin, and I couldn’t keep myself from shivering. Ebb threw a thick blanket over me and urged me to rub myself dry. I watched in horror as she cracked open the carriage door and kicked my sodden clothing out into the dirt.
“Why would you do such a thing?” I blurted. “Those are perfectly good clothes.”
When she smiled, I could see the bones of her face shift. “Don’t worry, milady. There are dozens of gowns waiting for you in the castle. Here.” She lifted up one of the seat cushions and brought out a gown made of the same stiff, heavy fabric as hers, in an even darker shade of gray. “This is just a traveling gown, mind you,” she added when she saw my face fall, but it wasn’t the quality that troubled me. We never wore such somber colors in Varenia.
“Do you wear more colorful clothing in Ilara?” I asked hopefully.
“Not at court. We wear mourning colors, for the lost princess,” she said, but there was no emotion in her voice, as if this were as obvious as the fact that the sun rose in the morning and set at night. “We just need to get you into your undergarments first.”
I cocked my head, and she laughed a little, covering her mouth with her fingertips. She had a kind laugh, and I realized that even though I probably seemed childlike to her and Captain Osius, they weren’t making fun of me. They just didn’t know what to do with me.
“I’ll help you,” she said
. She produced a short-sleeved shift and slipped it over my head. The white fabric was so thin it was nearly transparent, far finer than anything I’d ever owned, and fell just below my knees. Afterward, she helped me into a pair of long silk stockings, followed by a pleated petticoat, and finally the dress, which fastened up the back with tiny hooks that Ebb clasped with remarkable speed. The neckline was square and severe, and the bodice was so tight that I found myself taking short, rapid breaths as my rib cage was prevented from expanding fully by the fabric. The entire process seemed to take ages, and we were both sweating by the time she was finished. I sat back on the bench, hardly able to believe I would have to go through this process every day.
“That will do for now,” she breathed. “It’s stuffy in this carriage.”
“For now?”
She smiled again. “Try not to worry. You’ll get used to all of it in time.”
I wasn’t convinced, but I nodded weakly. “Can I please get some air?”
“You’re not allowed to leave the carriage, but we can open the windows.”
I pushed past Ebb as she parted the curtains and opened the windows, desperate for fresh air. The cool breeze that hit me was welcome now. I couldn’t imagine I’d ever be cold again in all this clothing. I was still sucking in breath when Captain Osius appeared from the front of the carriage.
“Milady,” he said, bowing. “The gown suits you. Are you ready to leave?”
I glanced down at the gown, which suited me about as well as a lobster shell fit a crab, then back at Ebb. “I—I believe so.”
“Very good.” He nodded and disappeared again.
“Best sit down, milady. The ride can be a bit bumpy at times.”
Before I could take a seat, the driver yelled something to the horses, and the carriage lurched forward, sending me sprawling against the velvet cushions. I looked up at Ebb, who gave another of her kind laughs and helped me sit up. “You’ll get used to it, milady. I promise.”
A few minutes later, my senses bombarded by too many sights, sounds, and smells at once, I ran to the window, threw back the curtains, and emptied the contents of my stomach all over the carriage door.
Crown of Coral and Pearl Page 12
