by Pam Richter
"Ruin my career," Robin muttered, nodding to himself.
"I'm so sorry I got you into this," she said, shaking her head with horrible remorse. "I didn't mean for you to go to these extremes. You could have hurt yourself. Or killed yourself, Robin. And I just couldn't stand that."
He nodded to himself. "I knew she was sweet." He seemed to be in a world of his own, the way he was responding to her conversation. It scared Julia even more than the physical problems he had moving and talking.
"I mean it, Robin. I'll go back to Boston, right now, if you won't promise to behave yourself. What if you got hooked on drugs?"
"Never," Robin said adamantly. He looked like he was going to go to sleep, his head almost resting on his chest, so she hauled him up and staggered with him to the car.
She had to lean him against the car and then open the passenger side. Getting him inside was a nightmare. He was very heavy. It felt like trying to manipulate a huge and heavy, rubbery doll.
Julia drove into Westwood and stopped in front of his apartment building, where they had met a few nights ago.
She shook him awake. He looked around groggily. "Where are we?"
"I took you home, Robin," Julia said gently. She had been reflecting on the fact that she had caused this man to overdose on dangerous drugs to help her. It actually scared her to death. She couldn't stand the responsibility. He was a beautiful man, she had been gazing at him sleeping next to her in the car, and he might have died tonight.
"I don't really live here."
"Tell me where you want to go," Julia said gently. "I'll take you anywhere you want."
"The Beverly Hills Hotel. I want to be near you."
Was he worried about her, Julia wondered, still alarmed about the fact that Quijada was spying on her. Maybe that was why Robin wanted to be near her. But there might be a simpler explanation. Maybe he lived with his parents and didn't want them to see him in this condition. Or maybe he lived with a girl. She really didn't know anything about Robin except that he was a very intelligent mechanic. She had never believed this place where they had met was his apartment. Especially not after she had seen that bedroom. Even hardly knowing him, she had been sure he wouldn't have decorated a bedroom in that fashion. Julia started the car and headed toward Beverly Hills.
When they got to the hotel and parked, Robin had roused himself and was digging through his jacket pockets again. He found his wallet and produced a gold credit card. He handed it to her, very gravely. "You'll have to check in for me."
"No, Robin. I really want to get you the room tonight."
He was shaking his head stubbornly.
Julia sighed. She would have to keep him in her room. There was a small couch she could sleep on, and she was too worried about his condition. He might have seizures or convulsions from the drugs. She would keep watch and make sure he was all right. If anything was really wrong she could call a private physician to come to the hotel.
She manhandled him out of the car and helped him walk on a path that meandered through the lush grounds of the hotel toward her private bungalow.
"Where are we going?" Robin asked.
"My room," Julia panted. She was almost bent over, trying to support his weight as he reeled from side to side. They slowly progressed forward.
"Compromising situation," Robin said warningly. His voice was still blurry from the drug.
"Don't worry about it," Julia said, but she started looking around the pathway that led to her place. There were security guards who patrolled the grounds all night long and she saw one of them standing above the pathway, watching curiously as they made their slow staggering way to her apartment. He probably thought they were both inebriated. The whole staff would have the news by tomorrow that she had tottered in, at three a.m., with a drunk.
She propped Robin against the wall, got her key and opened the door. Then she pulled Robin inside. She had left the light on, so she just took him to the bed, unwound his arm from around her neck and gave him a push. He fell over like a tree, flat on his face. Julia made sure his nose wasn't squashed against the bed, so he could breath, and fell into a chair to rest for a moment.
Julia rubbed her aching shoulder. The guy was built like a brick and she felt sore as hell as she started putting the clothing, which she had thrown in a pile on the floor, back into the drawer. Then she went to the little built-in refrigerator and checked inside. Milk and crackers. Perfect for someone with an upset stomach.
When she turned around she saw Robin watching her with large blue, bloodshot eyes. He was propped on one elbow, lying on the bed.
"I'm really sorry about this, Julia." He looked extremely apologetic, and very handsome.
"I'm sorry too," Julia said. "Do you think you could take a little milk?"
"Yes. I'm very thirsty."
"I have Gatorade, too."
"Let me try the milk. Bring the waste basket over, in case this doesn't work."
Julia watched him drink. He started slowly, but kept wanting more and finished a whole quart.
Then she started giving him crackers, one at a time.
"Tastes like crunchy Styrofoam," Robin remarked.
"I know. They never use enough salt on the diet crackers."
"I want to take a shower and brush my teeth, but I'm so tired," Robin said.
"In the morning. You just rest now." Julia went to the end of the bed and took off his shoes.
"You're being so nice."
"Don't worry. I'll be mad as hell in the morning," Julia said soothingly.
"Okay." He settled back and was instantly asleep.
Julia covered him with a blanket and a quilt. He had stopped shivering but she didn't want him to catch a chill. She picked up his head and put a pillow under it, to make sure he could breath normally. Then she sat down on the couch across from the bed and watched him. She was sleepy and kept nodding off, but she knew she couldn't let herself go to sleep in case there was a medical emergency. When she was soundly asleep even an earthquake would not awaken her; she slept like the dead. She was afraid that if she fell off nothing would wake her now that she was so exhausted.
Julia knew she could call an ambulance, now that Robin was asleep, but didn't want to. A drug rap was very serious, and Robin already had some kind of trouble he was going through in court.
Sitting there, watching him, reminded her of the night she had spent in the hospital, watching her brother, Brian. Suddenly she was melancholy. She wondered where her life was going. How things had gone so wrong. She was happy in her vocation and would always have that, she thought, consoling herself that work would make her happy, but even as she did so she knew it wasn't true. Her personal life was a sad shambles. She had lost her wonderful brother. There was nothing in Boston for her except a sad and one-sided relationship with Alexander, which would never go anywhere. When she remembered his kiss at the airport, she felt totally repulsed. It was depressing. He was supposed to be the best and the brightest of the eligible men in Boston. Everyone thought she was so lucky that he was in love with her. Everyone had already decided she should marry him. And Julia did want to be married. She wanted children more than anything on this earth. She wanted to give her own children all the things she had missed when she had lost her own parents. She would be splendid at it, she just knew it. But here she was, almost thirty years old and not a man in sight to give her the marvelous children she craved, and a warm home life that she had longed for ever since her own wonderful, caring parents had died.
And now she was in danger, she supposed, because Quijada was suspicious enough that he was having her followed. To top it all, a very nice man had overdosed on drugs, trying to help her.
Julia tried to rationalize that it was not really her responsibility that Robin had taken the drugs. She had made it abundantly clear, in fact, that she had not wanted him to attempt a drug buy. But the guy obviously had a silly crush on her. Why else would he do something so foolhardy and dangerous? She would have to fire him.
Sometime later she noticed that she had fallen sideways on the couch, with her legs still on the floor, and she could hear the water running in the bathroom. Robin must be okay if he was taking a shower, she thought drowsily, and then she was instantly asleep again.
In her dream she felt warm and cared for. Someone was carrying her and put her to bed. In the dream she was a little child again and her father was gently covering her. He was whispering that he loved her. She had a mother and father and her brother, Brian, was still alive. She was innocently calm and content as she went to sleep, sure all was right with the world, snugly oblivious to the fact that her whole family would be taken from her in the future. The bed was cold for a while, but it got warm again as she slept.
CHAPTER 14
Julia woke up because a warm, slightly damp spot on the top of her head was bothering her. A rhythmic blast of hot air would hit that place uncomfortably and she put her hand up to brush it away, too sluggish with sleep to understand the phenomenon. She encountered a nose.
Another blast came from the mouth below it. She scrunched her head down to avoid the hot wet air, and as she did so, she thought sleepily that someone was in bed with her.
The magnitude of that idea had impact a few moments later. She stiffened and opened her eyes with a feeling close to panic. She was startled to see an arm lying across her, under her own arm. The hot blast came again and she remembered the nightmarish sequence of picking Robin up under the pier and taking him home with her.
"Hey!" Julia said.
"Ummm," was the rumbling, unconscious answer.
This is unbelievable, Julia thought indignantly, turning over. The chest in front of her was large and brown with swirls of black hair. The arm had tightened around her. She was so comfortable and tired she had a silly impulse to rest her forehead against the chest and simply go back to sleep. Even worse, she would have liked to put her own arms around him and hug him back. But she was just lonesome. She hadn't had an affair in years and physical warmth was something she realized, just now, that she had missed. It was a stunning realization. How could she have overlooked something so basic for such a long time, she wondered, as she gazed at the warm chest in front of her.
Julia had worked hard to become a career woman and had traveled so much, taking photographs for books and articles, that there never seemed time for personal relationships. Oh, to be truthful, she had recognized loneliness at times, but had always confidently believed that she would meet someone who would kindle the need for a more personal and intimate life with a man. But it never happened.
She had been stupid to think a handsome, gallant man on a white horse would come and sweep her off her feet anyway, like a little girl's fantasy in a fairy tale. She was getting older and had to realize it might never happen for her. Julia smiled and thought that she had once been rescued in a big, ugly yellow truck. It was not the stuff dreams were made of.
Julia had to admit, though, that this man, Robin, was certainly physically gorgeous. She might even have considered an affair with him, if he didn't like her so much. But it wouldn't be fair. She would never hurt him with an affair that couldn't possibly go anywhere.
She also thought, rather cynically, that a man would not have the same concerns. He would go ahead, and hell with the consequences or emotions he shattered. But Julia knew she could not have an affair without some feeling of affection on her side. And she wouldn't injure another person just to satisfy a momentary hunger to be held and gain physical satisfaction, which would also be momentary. She smiled and thought she would hate herself the next morning.
Julia took stock. Robin was still asleep. He had probably carried her into the bed last night. Her shirt was still on but her jeans and shoes were missing. There were long hairy legs brushing hers. She stretched up and looked at his face. Definitely still out. His long black lashes were closed over his eyes. His face in repose was beautiful, with the shadow of a dark beard. He smelled like soap.
Julia knew she should be angry, especially since he had taken off her jeans, but she didn't feel any anger. She would just have to get out from under the heavy arm without waking him.
His arm tightened again as she turned over, and her back was scooted against his chest. Then he relaxed the arm. The blast of hot hair hit her again, in the exact same spot, annoyingly.
Julia picked up his arm and heard him groan. She pushed it behind her and moved forward, but she almost fell off the edge of the bed. Here they were, in a king sized bed and she was squashed right up to the edge. And suddenly the arm was back around her, pulling her close again.
Julia looked over her shoulder and saw that Robin had been moving in his sleep. She was annoyed, deciding he was used to sleeping with pliant women who didn't care if he treated them like stuffed toys.
"Robin! Wake up." She looked over her shoulder and saw him open his eyes.
"Oh!" Now both eyes were wide and focused on her face.
"Move back," Julia said.
"Sorry. Crowding you?" Robin asked sleepily. "Wow, do I have a headache." He groaned, moved back about two inches, and she watched as he relaxed into sleep again.
Julia craned and looked at the alarm clock on the table by the bed. She figured they had been asleep about three hours. It was six in the morning. She would just rest for a few moments and get up. Robin was probably hung over and she was sure he wouldn't do anything to her. He was not a mad rapist or anything, just a totally inappropriate person to be in her bed. A mechanic, she reminded herself harshly.
Julia still had disturbing thoughts about this man and she consciously changed her mental direction, planning what she had to do today, as Robin turned over with her. His arm held on to her, at her waist. As he turned she was propelled right over the top of him and plunked down on his other side. She was stunned because it happened so quickly. She almost laughed out loud. She felt like a tiny doll, the way he maneuvered her so easily. And she felt reassured in a strange way. If Robin was strong enough to pick her up like that, with the use of only one arm, he must over the effect of the drug.
Now Julia had almost the entire bed in front of her. She moved gently away from Robin, detaching from his arm, slipping to the other side of the bed. She relaxed again. Might as well get a little sleep. It really was too early to get up.
She decided, as she was going to sleep, that she would have to get the items out of Quijada's safe today. If he was suspicious enough about her, he might just move the incriminating items. Especially if he suspected that she had been trying to get into his desk drawer. She would have to act precipitously, and the thought was frightening.
Julia decided she would hold the book Brian had written as ransom, in case Quijada had any ideas about getting rid of her. He had read most of it and claimed that he liked it very much. He had also seen some of the photographs she had taken. Quijada had been especially enamored with the pictures of him together with his dog, Bruno, playing on the estate. He probably thought that since he didn't have an immediate family, the dog would humanize him. The rationalization was that if Quijada loved dogs, he was probably an okay person, and the people in California would vote for a dog lover.
Julia decided to put the book on a disc and take it out of the computer's hard drive completely. She would keep the disc in the safe at the front desk of Beverly Hills Hotel. If Quijada tried to harm her, she would at least have the leverage of physically possessing his autobiography. She would place all of the photographs there also, with instructions that no one was to remove the contents but her. It wasn't much against goons who probably sported Uzi rifles and sold dangerous illegal drugs, but it was added insurance that might help keep her from harm. In the middle of her plans she fell asleep.
The next time Julia awakened it was because Robin was saying her name, over and over, very softly. She breathed deeply and stretched her left arm up. It flopped back down and landed on warm flesh. She didn't want to wake up, but as her arm dropped she had the shock of remembering that Robin w
as there, in bed with her. She opened her eyes.
Her pillow was Robins shoulder, she noted with dismay. And she was practically wrapped around him. She removed her leg from over his, and her arm from around his chest and started moving back rapidly, but he held on with the arm he had around her shoulders.
"Relax a minute. We have to talk," Robin said.
"What about?" Julia asked, moving back some more.
"We're really on to something here."
"Oh, really," Julia said, rather sarcastically.
"Stop thinking about sex," Robin said.
"I wasn't thinking about anything of the sort," Julia protested indignantly. "If you'll just let go, we can talk rationally."
"I'm perfectly rational, if slightly hung over," Robin said, rubbing his beard with a scratching sound. "And I think we're in a very dangerous situation."
Julia agreed with that. She was in a dangerous situation just being this close to Robin. She could feel his breath in her hair. It was nice. So was the neck she was staring at.
"I have the drug connection," Robin continued in a normal tone of voice, like they were discussing a neutral subject on the terrace of some restaurant over cocktails. "Your pictures and the meeting I had last night prove that."
"Oh," Julia said. Evidently he wasn't affected at all being so close to her. It was reassuring and a little disappointing. "I understand. But Robin, I don't want you on the case any longer. I'm going to have to terminate your services."
"Really?" He turned his head and looked down at her. He was frowning.
"Don't get angry. I can handle the rest of this."
"Julia, you're not seeing the larger picture. Quijada may have had your brother killed, and I'm not denying that that's very serious. But he's mixed up with some powerful drug people. And he's going to be running for governor here in California. I can't just let that go. I love this state. And I love Los Angeles. And I won't let you be involved in this situation any longer. It's too risky. Quijada will go to any lengths to protect himself."
