Matt finished his pasta in minutes, sitting back and waiting impatiently while Emily toyed with her food, eating a little and then pushing the plate away with a sigh. He eyed the plate and turned so he could study her face. “You didn't like it?”
Emily shook her head. “No, it's delicious.”
“Go ahead and eat.”
“I'm okay.” She shifted uncomfortably on the seat, and Matt realized he was making her nervous.
He couldn't help himself; honest to God, he couldn't. The very idea of her being a submissive was driving him on to the point of insanity. He wanted to test the waters, so to speak. “Emily,” he said in a low voice. “Eat your dinner. Now, please.”
For a long moment, Emily stared at him, her glorious blue eyes revealing a tiny flicker of surprise. And then, slowly, she picked up the fork and pulled the plate back towards her, twirling the strands of pasta onto the fork and eating.
Matt watched as she ate – the very act of twirling the pasta onto her fork so carefully was a turn on. Knowing she was doing it because he'd demanded it was a turn on. The tiny tremble he saw erupt through her body, the way she shifted ever so slightly on the seat and squeezed her thighs together was making his blood boil in his veins. He leaned over so his mouth was close to her ear and whispered. “You like being told what to do?”
Another tremble reverberated through her gorgeous little body when she nodded.
Matt didn't move away, kept close to her ear as she ate, making certain his breath warmed the skin against her neck when he spoke again. “It makes you hot?”
Again the little nod, another tremble erupting. Her hand shook as she carefully twirled the pasta, placed another small amount into her mouth.
Matt straightened up, moving out of her personal space, even though it was the last thing he wanted to do. What he wanted to do – which scared the hell out of him – was to lay her down on this fake leather bench and fuck her senseless, until she exploded in his arms with a climax neither of them would ever forget. Pushing those heady thoughts to the back of his mind, he rested his arm across the back of the bench and clenched the glass of Coke in his hand, trying to pull his snarled thoughts into line. He smiled ruefully to himself – it wasn't going to be easy when all the blood in his body had settled into his groin. He felt lightheaded and it wasn't from too much alcohol, it was purely the effect of the woman sitting beside him.
Emily finished her pasta and placed her fork neatly on the plate, wiped her mouth with the napkin and twisted in her seat so her body was rotated towards Matt. For a couple of seconds she eyed him cautiously. “We should talk.”
Matt drained the glass of Coke, still wishing it were a beer. “Yeah, I think we should.” He dropped the glass down onto the table and met Emily's eyes. “This is something which is important to you?”
Emily nodded, chewing her lip thoughtfully. “It's my nature, part of who I am.”
“Is that why you put me on your no contact list?” It suddenly occurred to Matt that this was what she'd been avoiding, telling him about herself. He had to admit to being pleased to think she might actually be interested in him, other than being just another client.
Emily smiled. “In part. I thought after the disaster that was our appointment this afternoon, you wouldn't want to see me again.”
Matt grinned. “Believe me, this afternoon's disaster was entirely my fault. I was nervous as hell, and I haven't had sex since my wife died.”
“I see.”
“So you said the submissive thing was part of why you put me on this list? What else?”
Emily twisted her napkin between her fingers, twirling the white material back and forth. “I'm attracted to you. It scares me.”
Matt frowned, even as he internally cheered. “Why?”
Emily chewed her lip anxiously and Matt was entranced, wanting to lean in and kiss the worry away from her pretty features. He hadn't reacted to anyone like this since Caroline – to be honest, he wasn't certain if he'd ever felt this crazy, this spontaneous about any woman, even Caroline.
“I've never become involved with a client. And honestly, you didn't strike me as being a Dom.”
“Dominant?” Matt considered the idea carefully, investigating it from all angles. The idea was foreign to him, would need careful consideration. He didn't even know what it would entail. He and Caroline had been adventurous in the bedroom, but in terms of sexual positions and toys. This was something different; he could sense exactly how different and had to admit it was an interesting proposition. The sexual attraction he felt for Emily was overwhelming, but he needed to think about the domination she obviously needed. Was he capable of it? What did it entail? If it would require hurting her, he knew straight up he wouldn't be capable of doing it. He'd never hurt a woman in his life – he wasn't about to start now.
When he spoke, he kept his voice hushed. “I can't tell you if I can be what you need, Emily. I can tell you that I'm crazy attracted to you and I'd like the opportunity to see you again.” He edged across the bench seat, so their thighs were side by side, and another ripple of desire made her shake. “Will you consider it?”
≈≈◊◊≈◊◊≈≈
Emily wanted what he was offering. There wasn't a doubt in her mind that she wanted to see him again, to discover if he could provide her with what she needed. But still. Other nagging worries drew her mind from the feel of his thigh against hers, the smell of his cologne. “I'm not certain you're ready for this, Matt. This afternoon,” she said tentatively, “I got the impression you aren't ready for someone else to come into your life. Maybe it's too soon, after your wife's passing.”
“I still miss Caroline, every day,” he admitted huskily. “I loved her, with everything I had.” He inhaled deeply and reached out, catching a soft ringlet of her hair on his finger, watching it as he spoke. “But I want to see what this is, if there's anything real between you and I. Besides an overwhelming lust which is making me crazy.”
Emily turned her head against his hand, snuggling against his fingers like a contented kitten. “I'm glad it's not only me,” she admitted with a chuckle.
The server appeared again, interrupting their conversation and took their orders for coffee, before bustling back towards the kitchens. Matt had removed his hand from Emily's cheek while the server stood at their table, now though; he reached out and wrapped his fingers in hers. He seemed to crave any physical contact with her and Emily wrapped her fingers through his and gave them a gentle squeeze.
“This submission thing,” Matt began cautiously. “Is it— Are you into—”
Emily sensed his nervousness and squeezed his fingers again, instinctively offering him comfort. “It might be better if I explain exactly what I do like. It will make it easier for you to decide if you could provide for my needs.”
“Good idea.” Matt considered calling the server back, asking for something stronger than coffee, but he had to drive. He should have caught a cab.
“I don't like pain, but obviously if I misbehave I should be punished. I don't like severe whippings, but a little play is acceptable. I'm definitely not into water play. I don't like to be shared for sexual intercourse, but obviously, if you became my Dom and you demanded it, I would submit. I'm happy to be shared for oral sex with either male or female partners. If you should desire to share me with your friends, I would submit to it, but I can't say I would enjoy it. I tend to prefer my sexual play to be with my own Dom, but as a submissive, I will do whatever my Dom requests of me. I enjoy toys, some light bondage and I'm not averse to exhibitionism. Despite my size, I won't consider playing incest games; it's not something I'm comfortable in exploring. I enjoy being submissive, specifically in the bedroom. I would still want to have my own non-submissive time to continue my studies and I prefer to have time when we aren't in play, during which we can enjoy one another's company as equals.”
It was the equivalent of being hit by a truck. Matt blinked owlishly, still playing catch-up on the mind-boggli
ng array of information Emily had just placed before him. Whippings? Water Play? Oral sex with other men and women? Holy fuck, he was standing on the edge of a precipice and the ground beneath him was slippery. How the hell did he respond to what she'd just told him?
Their coffee was delivered and Matt bought himself some time, stirring his coffee, adding milk and sugar. He was still struggling to regain his equilibrium when Emily spoke again.
“Matt, I'm sure this must be overwhelming for you. I've lived this lifestyle for some time and I might have been far more specific than you need, but I've learnt to be honest due to a past mistake I made. Clearly, all this is a revelation to you. You need some time to think and process what I've told you. I'd suggest when you get a chance you look up BDSM on the internet.” She smiled mischievously. “You can Google it.”
Matt chuckled, the tension broken as he sipped his coffee. “I think I might. Google, huh?”
Emily smiled and nodded. “I have to admit, I'm relieved.”
“How come?”
“I thought you would have been out the door by now.”
“The thought has crossed my mind.”
“You're still here.”
“I still think you're hot.”
Emily giggled. “I think you're hot, too.”
Matt leaned back in the seat, thinking deeply. “So you've always been submissive?”
“I tend to think so.” Emily sipped her coffee before she spoke again. “To some extent, I believe everyone has some tendency towards dominance or submissiveness in them. For some of us, it's strong enough to need attention.”
“How does that equate with the escort work?” Matt still wasn't certain how he felt about that. How would he deal with her being with other men? It was the first thing which had crossed his mind when he'd tried calling her earlier – he'd thought she was out with a client and he hated the idea of her having sex with another man.
“Part of being submissive is providing what someone else needs, a desire to be what they need you to be. If that equates to being more dominant, it's what I do, even though it's not what I'm most comfortable with.”
“What happens… if we pursue this thing?” Matt didn't know what else to call it. He didn't even know if it was something worth pursuing. He had kids, for Christ's sake, he couldn't just start an affair with a submissive hooker and expect it not to have repercussions in his life.
“I'm not sure what you mean,” Emily said quietly, although she had her suspicions.
“If we develop this into something other than mutual lust – I sure as hell won't want you having sex with other men.”
Emily licked her lips, composing her thoughts before she responded. “Matt, it's the only way I have of earning an income while I finish school. I don't have any other skills.”
“So you'd keep sleeping with other men? Even though you'd be seeing me?”
Emily inhaled deeply, wondering why it hurt to think she might lose this man, before she ever really had him. “I'm not sure I have an answer to your question, Matt. I can't give up everything I'm working for; based on a man I met seven hours ago.”
“I'm not asking you to. I need to know you would though, if this eventuates into something.”
“I can't answer that.”
Matt sighed heavily, rubbing his hand across his jaw. “No, you can't. I'm just trying to get a handle on all this.” He looked down at Emily, offering her a warm smile. “How old are you?”
“Twenty five.”
“Well shit, I'm old enough to be your father.”
“I don't think so,” Emily smiled. “You don't look that old.”
“I'm forty two.”
“Okay, maybe you are old enough to be my father. Almost.” Emily wriggled closer to him and kissed his cheek. “It doesn't matter to me. Is it going to matter to you?”
“Apparently, it's not making the slightest bit of difference to my libido.” Matt muttered.
Emily laughed again. “Well, we've got nothing to worry about then, have we?”
* * *
Chapter Four
“How do you do it? How do you sleep with complete strangers?” It was a question was uppermost in Matt's mind; he wanted to know, needed to understand why Emily did it. How she did it.
Matt hadn't wanted the evening to end, when they'd left the restaurant he'd suggested a walk along the Seattle foreshore and Emily readily agreed, providing Matt with a deep-seated sense of satisfaction to know she was still interested. For a few minutes, they'd walked in companionable silence, the sound of water lapping at the boardwalk and the occasional burst of laughter and chatter from other walkers the only noise to pierce the tranquility.
Emily chewed her lip and glanced up at him in the semi-darkness. “When I'm with a client, it's difficult to explain, but it's not me who's having sex with them, it's Sienna.”
“Sienna and Emily are one in the same,” Matt pointed out. They were approaching a bench seat and he placed his hand at the small of Emily's back, directing her towards the bench.
“Yeah, they are,” Emily conceded, sitting elegantly on the edge of the wooden bench. She gazed out towards the darkened water for a few seconds. “Have you ever had a one night stand, Matt?”
Matt grinned. “A couple. Why?”
“Did it worry you that you didn't have a relationship with them? Did you have regrets afterwards?”
“No.”
“That's how I feel about what I do, Matt. Sex is just sex. It's a way for me to pay my way through college, cover my bills. It's a commodity I own, I can use in any way I wish.”
“Don't you worry about your health? How many other escorts your clients have been with?”
Emily smiled. “I'm not a hooker who's picking up stray men on the street. I have six clients in total, all of whom were carefully screened by Sally before their first appointment with me. They have to provide a medical report to ensure they don't have HIV, any STD or hepatitis before their first appointment. I never have sex without the use of a condom and I'm also tested quarterly.”
“What if they're screwing other women as well?” Matt countered.
Emily grinned. “Would they be any different to a good proportion of the population? Many people have random encounters with people for sex, if anything I'm probably safer than the majority of the population. The only difference is, the sex I have is a business transaction. I'm providing a service for money.”
“Is that all it was this afternoon? A business transaction?” Matt felt a sense of disappointment.
Emily smiled softly. “No, this afternoon was different. Normally with a client I can switch off, not have a physical or emotional reaction to them. With you… it was different.”
Matt shifted on the bench so he was a little closer to her. “How so?” he asked huskily.
Emily toyed with the strap on her purse for a few seconds. “I reacted physically to you,” she finally replied softly. “And on an emotional level.”
Matt's seemingly perpetual erection grew harder, something he hadn't thought possible. “You're attracted to me?”
Emily nodded. “Very much so.”
Matt leaned forward, his mouth just inches from Emily's as he gazed down at her, his eyes darkened with desire. “I can't begin to tell you how attracted I am to you.”
Emily glanced down at his crotch with a knowing smile. “I can tell.”
Matt grimaced. “I've been like this ever since this afternoon, you little witch.” He lowered his mouth until his lips brushed across Emily's, licking the tip of his tongue across her bottom lip and slipping his arms around her body to draw her closer to him.
Emily responded immediately, a breathy sigh leaving her mouth as Matt crushed her against his chest and kissed her mouth again, inhaling the faint scent of jasmine that wafted into his nostrils, enjoying the softness of her lips, the feel of her curves beneath his hands. When he pulled away, Matt was breathing raggedly. “Christ, you're driving me wild,” he breathed against her lips. “I
want you so badly; it's all I can think about.”
Emily inhaled heavily, her voice low when she spoke. “Technically, I think after this afternoon, I owe you.”
Matt gazed down at her for a few seconds before he spoke. “I don't want this if you don't want it, Emily. I don't want this to be a continuation of our agreement this afternoon. I want this to be about you wanting to have sex with me, not a business arrangement. I want you in bed with me because you're choosing it, not because you think you owe me.”
Emily's eyes widened as she returned Matt's gaze and slowly, imperceptibly, she nodded. “I want it, Matt.”
Matt stood up, offering Emily his hand and drawing her to her feet. He led her silently down the busy street until he saw what he was looking for. The Seattle Regency Hotel sat at the corner of 108th and 11th West, a regal hotel that had been open since the nineteen thirties. Matt barely noticed the beauty of the art deco interior; all he could concentrate on was reaching the Reception Desk and checking into a room. Within minutes, he had a keycard and walked with Emily towards the lift.
Once inside, Matt encroached into Emily's space, wrapping his arms around her waist and drawing her against his body, aware that she would feel the length of his erection against her belly. “You're sure about this?”
Emily brushed her fingers lightly across his buttocks, lifting her face to his. “Absolutely.”
Without another word, Matt dropped his mouth over hers in a bruising kiss that took Emily's breath away, and she struggled to keep her knees from buckling. The man was overwhelming, powerful, his strength and muscular build making her feel tiny in his arms and she inhaled deeply, aroused by the musky scent of his aftershave. His lips were commanding, yet tender, his hands running down across her ass and squeezing as he rubbed his crotch against her. Emily let her fingers roam across his chest; finding the hard buds of his nipples below his shirt, she tweaked them, satisfied when Matt groaned and swore beneath his breath.
Contrasting Lives Page 4
