by Raven Scott
She had done it. Alexandria Cotts had succeeded in designing the fastest long-range hybrid-powered vehicle on record with applicability in the passenger car industry. It was a heady and emotional moment, filled with cheers from Renee and tender, intimate hugs from Lucas, then a string of phone calls and e-mails from Shawn and her family. But she could not ignore the bittersweet knowledge that along with an achievement so long pursued, she was also about to lose the only thing that would have made it all the more meaningful: sharing it with the man she had fallen in love with so deeply and unexpectedly.
After the trophy presentations and various media interviews, Marco, Niles, and Randy eventually brought the celebration back to her hotel room, along with Adam North, David Ferguson, Sam, and Ned. They spent the rest of the evening talking, laughing, and making plans for what would come next for Magnus, the small racing-components shop that had rocketed into the big leagues overnight.
Lucas finally kicked them all out sometime before midnight, insisting Alex was overdoing it. No one disagreed since she had already dozed off on several occasions. Once they were alone, he helped her in and out of a hot bath and wrapped her in a warm towel with clinical efficiency, and she was too tired and grateful to argue. The last thing she remembered was having him carry her back into the bedroom, despite her insistence that she could walk, and tuck her under the thick covers.
Now he was spooning her from behind in a perfect fit that was achingly familiar.
“Good morning,” he finally whispered in that sexy, sleepy voice. “How are you feeling?”
Alex cleared her throat, trying hard to remember what had to come next.
“Okay, I think,” she replied simply.
“Good.”
His hand touched her hip and then slipped over her stomach through the robe, and pulled her even tighter against his heat, until the hard length of his erection felt branded against the curve of her ass. Lucas then stroked his flat palm up along her torso and slipped his fingers between the edges of the robe until they found the full mound of her breast.
“Hmm, I miss you,” he groaned softly. “I had a very hot dream about all the things I want to do to you when you’re all better.”
He tweaked her nipple, sending shock waves of intense desire right down to the delicate bud between her thighs. Alex gasped, trying hard to find the strength to stop him.
“Until then, you’ll have to stop teasing me,” he added playfully, pressing a soft kiss to the side of her neck. “Now rest for a bit longer. The charter flight to Toronto leaves at one o’clock this afternoon, and we have a lot to get done before that.”
Then his touch and heat were gone as Lucas rolled off the other side of the bed and walked across the space to the bathroom, deliciously and blatantly aroused in his boxer briefs.
The reality of what the day would bring became so much harder to face. Lucas Johnson was leaving today. His mission was over, along with their time together. That was the simple truth, and she had made the disastrous mistake of forgetting that. He and his team had saved her life and her career more than once over the last two months. The least she could do was make this separation as uncomplicated as possible.
By the time Lucas came out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist, it was almost eight o’clock. Alex was on her feet and organizing her clothes for the day.
“Hey, what are you doing?” he demanded, immediately coming to her side.
“I’m fine, really,” Alex insisted, backing away from him and managing not to wince at the sudden movement. “I’m a little stiff, but it’s not bad.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah. Honestly, I can manage,” she continued with a small smile.
“Okay, but just take it slow. And make sure you use the grab bar in the shower if you’re going to take one.”
Alex nodded, then turned away from his stern expression to walk slowly over to the bathroom. The intensity of his inspection was easily felt along her back the whole way. Once inside, she closed the door and took a deep breath. She hadn’t lied. The bruising and stiffness felt much better today, and would very likely be manageable with some Extra Strength Tylenol. Her battered heart would take a lot longer to heal.
When she came out of the shower about twenty-five minutes later, Lucas was on the phone, but there was a room-service table over by the window with two chairs at either end, coffee, orange juice, and two covered plates on top. Alex put her nightclothes in her travel bag, then walked over toward the food. It smelled wonderful and her stomach growled, reminding her of how little she had eaten in the last two days. She lifted one of the lids to find a western omelet underneath.
“You’re just in time,” he stated as he hung up the phone and stopped beside her. “Marco, Sam and the others have gone downstairs for breakfast, but I thought it would be nice for us to have a few minutes alone.”
Alex swallowed. It was time.
“Okay,” she agreed, sitting down in one of the chairs as he held it out for her. “Thanks for this. I didn’t realize how hungry I was.”
“That’s a good sign,” he stated, taking the seat across from her and removing the metal covers off each plate to stow them on the shelf under the tablecloth.
Alex ate three bites of the hot, tasty eggs before she realized that Lucas wasn’t eating. He was looking at something metal in his hand as he ran his thumb over the surface. It suddenly occurred to her that he may be as uncomfortable about this discussion as she was, though for obviously different reasons. He might not have feelings for her, but wouldn’t want to hurt her either.
Despite her sadness, she knew that her feelings of rejection and betrayal were unfair. He had only ever been honest and clear from the beginning about what they were sharing, even before he knew her real identity. It was time for Alex to put on her big-girl panties and respect that, even if that meant lying to him in return.
“I just realized that I never said thank you,” she stated, filling the silence. “For saving my life, protecting my design. For everything you and your team have done for me and Magnus.”
Lucas finally looked back at her, but his eyes seemed clouded with something very different from satisfaction and triumph. Regret?
“You have no reason to thank me, Alex. I was doing my job. And despite the outcome, I’m not sure I can be proud of how it all unfolded,” he told her in a serious tone, so unlike his usually light-hearted temperament. “That’s partly what I wanted to talk to you about.”
She put down her fork, her appetite evaporating as suddenly as it had appeared.
“We’ve never really talked about what would happen after this assignment,” he continued, looking back down at the object in his hand.
“I think we did,” Alex stated in a clear voice that disguised the lump clogging her throat. “I know your leaving today means that things are over between us, Lucas. We never intended for this to be anything more than it was. Two people taking advantage of a moment in time. I didn’t forget, and I don’t regret it.”
“You don’t?” he replied, his fingers pausing over the metal in his hand.
“Of course not,” she said dismissively. “And you shouldn’t either.”
Alex forced herself to resume eating, though the food now tasted like dry chalk. Lucas cleared his throat and stood up abruptly so his chair flew back and hit the wall behind him with a thump.
“Okay,” he muttered. Alex peeked up at him beneath her lowered lids as he clenched his jaw tight before striding across the room. “So, what are you plans then?”
Her chewing slowed as he threw the object in his hand into the garbage bin near the television console, then began packing his various things into his small duffel bag. His movements were stiff and jerky, as though he was agitated, or maybe even angry. Alex looked back at his untouched meal. What was going on? What was she missing?
“I’m not sure yet,” she replied honestly. “I told Markie I need a little time off. Maybe I will take that extended European v
acation after all.”
She had meant to lighten the tension in the room, but it only thickened. Lucas was standing tall, legs wide and hands placed firmly on his hips. There was no trace of his easygoing nature now.
“By yourself or with someone?” he seemed to growl. “Like Renaud, maybe?”
Alex could only blink with confusion for several seconds. Renaud? Jean Renaud? Why would Lucas think she would suddenly go on a vacation with the ex-boyfriend she hadn’t seen or spoken to since last year, despite the couple of e-mails before the race?
“What?” she finally managed to ask, lamely.
“He’s here, you know,” continued Lucas, with his arms now crossed aggressively in front of his chest. “He was asking the race team about you. And he didn’t seem at all surprised that you were the engineer behind the now-famous Cicada design.”
“Lucas, what are you talking about?” Alex demanded again as his words sounded more and more like accusations, but for what, she couldn’t fathom. “What does anything about this conversation have to do with Jean?”
He only looked back at her with an unreadable expression for what felt like an uncomfortable length of time. And just when she was about to press him again for clarification, Lucas smiled at her and shook his head in that arrogant, cocky way that she had seen on many occasions. But this time, it didn’t reach his eyes.
“Good luck, Alex, with whatever you do next,” he finally stated.
She nodded, swallowing hard, then watched him finish packing his things.
“You haven’t eaten any of your breakfast,” Alex stated after another few minutes of silence.
“I’m not as hungry as I thought,” Lucas stated, picking up his bag. “But stay and finish yours. Have some coffee. Renee should be back in about half an hour or so. She’ll help you with anything you need for the flight back.”
“You’re leaving now?” she asked with surprise. This was it?
“Soon. But I have a few calls to make in the other room.” He paused stiffly. “Good-bye, Alex. And, congratulations again.”
Then he opened the connecting doors between the two hotel rooms and shut hers firmly behind him.
Alex threw down her fork with frustration, then pressed hard on her eyes with her hands. The clog in her throat was now coupled with a heavy stone at the pit of her stomach. She had prepared for it to be difficult, and emotional. But now she felt physically sick.
Too frustrated to remain seated, Alex pushed back her chair and strode cautiously across the room. Nothing about their conversation made any sense to her. Based on his phone call she had overheard on Friday morning, he should be relieved that she was clear about the fleeting nature of their relationship. So, why did he seem angry? And what was that whole thing about Jean? In another situation, his reaction would look like rejection and jealousy. It would be hard enough to move forward with her life after amicably ending their time together, but this cold, awkward, abrupt end felt unbearable.
Finally, she stopped pacing and tried to face reality. Like it or not, affable or not, it was done. Now it was time to answer some of those questions Lucas and others had asked. What was she going to do now?
Alex collapsed on the edge of the bed, suddenly very exhausted.
It was true that as of Monday, she was officially on a four-week vacation. But what was in store for her after that? Did she continue in her role at Magnus? Already, Marco had received calls from several agents representing motor companies that wanted to talk more about access rights to incorporate the Cicada into their prototypes, and a couple wanted to discuss buying the full patent outright. In either case, her role with the project was essentially over and it was time to rethink her career path and the many new options now open to her.
At the very least, she now had a month to think through all of the possibilities.
While she pondered her future, Alex’s gaze landed on the garbage bin only a few inches away from her feet. Perplexed, she stood up to look inside to see the metal object Lucas had tossed out so forcefully. There it was, an oval, silver-colored disk nestled between a few paper napkins. She picked up the lightweight can and pulled it out.
It was a key chain. The kind that was sold in the various gift shops in the village, with WHISTLER BLACKCOMB SKI RESORT carved into the front. Alex ran her finger over it, much the same way that Lucas had while they sat at the table. She turned it over in her palm and paused in confusion. The initials A.C. were carved into the back in large, italic letters. Her initials?
Her sore and aching heart started beating like a drum. Why would Lucas have a key chain with her initials carved in it? Was it meant as a gift, a token of their time together? Then why had he then thrown it in the garbage?
Alex took a deep breath and made a decision. Enough of this stupid guessing and questioning of someone else’s motives. She had always prided herself in being the person to confront any issues, even the most uncomfortable, and not hide away, afraid to face the truth because it hurt. This was not her, and it wasn’t the person she wanted to be.
With a purpose and resolve that she hadn’t felt in days, Alex walked up to the adjoining doors and swung through them with as much dramatic force as she could manage.
CHAPTER 28
Lucas was leaning with his left shoulder against the wall in the other room, staring blindly out of the window. The mountains around Whistler were very beautiful in the summer, providing a dramatic backdrop to the small resort town.
But he barely noticed. He was too busy feeling like a coward and a complete asshole.
Nothing that morning had gone the way he had envisioned it, and he had been too arrogant and sure of himself to even imagine an alternative outcome. So instead of manning up and telling Alex how he felt, or acting like a gentleman by accepting her decision and wishing her well, he had behaved like a jealous prick.
Jesus Christ! If only he could rewind the last thirty minutes. He would still have to move on without her, but at the very least, he could have the chance to hold her close one last time.
Lucas rubbed at the dull irritation behind his sternum. Maybe it wasn’t too late. There was still time. He could walk back into the next room, lay his cards on the table. So what if he looked like a total idiot? It couldn’t feel any worse than what he felt right now.
Feeling a little lighter, Lucas turned around and started back across the room, only to stop in his tracks as the person who seemed to constantly occupy his thoughts strode in through the connecting doors.
“What is this?” Alex demanded, holding out the key chain he purchased for her just yesterday.
He was so glad to see her, all assertive and demanding, that Lucas found it hard to hold back a goofy smile.
“It looks like a key chain,” he stated mildly, sliding his hands casually into his pockets.
“Yeah. That’s what I thought,” she agreed, but her golden eyes flashed with sarcasm. “And, why do you have a key chain with my initials engraved in the back? Sorry! I meant ‘did have,’ since I found it in the garbage.”
He did smile at that.
“Why does it matter, Alex?”
“Why are you answering a question with a question?”
“You’re right,” he conceded. “It’s rude.”
She rolled her eyes and let out a deep deflating sigh.
“Look, I should apologize about our conversations earlier,” she added, looking down at the inexpensive souvenir. “I feel like I handled it badly.”
“Really? I was just thinking the same thing,” Lucas admitted, stepping a bit closer to inhale her sweet vanilla scent. “That I handled it badly, not you—”
Alex cocked a brow at his hasty clarification. Shit, he was messing things up all over again.
“I bought the key chain for you and had your initials engraved in it,” he finally continued.
She straightened, rubbing her fingers over the shiny metal.
“Why?”
Lucas took a hand out of his pocket, to show her the
key that he had removed from his own key ring on Friday night.
“So I could put this on it,” he explained, with a sad chuckle. “It seemed like a good idea at the time. But that was before I understood that you and I are not really on the same wavelength about us.”
Whatever Lucas had expected from his grand declaration, it wasn’t for her to throw the monogrammed gift at him. It bounced off his chest and landed on the floor between them.
“Are you kidding me?” she demanded. “You have no interest in a relationship with me, Lucas. So why are you pretending you do? Does it make you feel better to play this game, where you string me along, suggest we try to make it work? So you can get a couple more rounds of hot sex before you realize it’s just not going to work?”
Lucas couldn’t keep up with her questions. He was still stuck at the beginning.
“Let me guess. It’s the distance, right? It’s killing our relationship?” she continued in a low mocking tone. “Or it’s your job? You don’t have time for a relationship? I know! You suddenly realized that you’re not looking for long-term commitment. And if you were, it wouldn’t be with someone like me. Someone so difficult?”
Something about her words sounded off tiny alarm bells in his head, but Lucas wasn’t listening.
“What the hell are you talking about, Alex?” he finally demanded.
“Really?” she whispered back, looking at him like he was a slug to be squished under her shoe. “Why can’t you just be honest with me?”
He was about to answer, but Alex cut him off.
“I sat there earlier, pretending I didn’t care that things were over between us,” she stated in a quiet voice that vibrated with emotion. “Because I knew you didn’t want the same thing and I didn’t want to make it awkward. I lied about the way I felt so you could walk away. And you want to play me?”
“Alex,” Lucas uttered with frustration, reaching out to her with his hands.
“Don’t touch me!” she demanded as her lips quivered.
Lucas felt like he was watching a train wreck about to happen and was powerless to stop it. Until it finally clicked in his head that this wasn’t just a clever debate, or a way to bust his balls. Alex truly believed that he didn’t want her anymore. How was that possible?
