Jesus Christ. We’d both been single and okay with the fact a few months ago. How the hell did we end up in these messes?
Oh, yes. As Mikael would say: the cock held all the blame.
I leaned back on the bench and gave her a rueful look. “What a fucking pair we make.”
Demi laughed and leaned back on the bench with me.
“Hey,” I said, smiling. “At least Dorian wants to talk to your dad.” Calum hadn’t even hinted at wanting to speak to mine, and considering my dysfunctions, I didn’t know whether to be relieved or saddened at the fact. “That means he wants something serious, doesn’t it?”
Demitra didn’t answer, staring off into space for a few seconds. Then she stared at me with this serious glint in her eye. “I think you should go to Chicago with Calum. He’s a really good guy, Liv. At least as far as I know.”
I’d known Calum was a good guy. The scales always leaned toward that, even if my paranoia tried to constantly convince me otherwise.
Still. Hearing it from someone else made me weak with relief.
And filled me with anxiety at the same time. Because if he truly turned out to be as amazing as he seemed, that one of a kind type of guy, I was ruining it with all my insecurities and issues. I’d already come to the conclusion that I had to work through my problems, get professional help if I must, but God. Could I really do it in time before I lost him?
“I know,” I murmured, shaking my head. “I’m scared of wanting more with him, but I also know that’s a stupid reason to sabotage this. I have to give him a real chance. Let’s just hope that I don’t end up getting hurt.”
Saying it aloud left me feeling like I’d just been locked into a vow that I had to see through, and I was equal parts excited and scared.
When I looked at Demitra, she was fighting to hold back a smile.
I raised an eyebrow and gave her the finger.
Her phone chirped and she reached into her bag. I watched as her facial expressions changed while she stared down at it.
“What is it?” I asked when I saw her frown.
“Give me a sec.” She got up and brought the phone to her ear. “My friend came to see me. What’s going on?”
I sat up straighter, sensing the anxiety in her as she began to pace.
“I’ll leave right now, but you’re worrying me. What’s going on?”
Had to be Dorian.
Demitra froze suddenly, staring at the ground with wide, clouded eyes. She snapped out of it with a couple of blinks, but her face remained pale. “I’m on my way.” Her brow scrunched up and curiosity began choking me.
What the hell was going on?
“Bye,” she finished in a weak tone that worried me even more. She hung up the call and faced me. “I have to go.”
“But what is it?” I asked.
“I don’t know,” Demi said. “But it sounds urgent. I’ll let you know once I do know. I meant what I said, go with Calum.”
The stern expression on her face almost made me laugh. I’d already decided that I’d go to that conference. Demi obviously wanted me to take a chance on this—on Calum—and I chose to take it as a good sign.
I’d known Demitra for almost four years. Never once, in that whole time, had I seen her do anything even remotely stupid.
Demitra also believed Calum was the real deal; another point in his favor. Which meant that I had to do this. Had to try and give that attempt my absolute all.
My relief morphed into something else, something much more powerful.
I was fucking giddy, I realized. Light-headed with hope. All at once, a good portion of my paranoia dissolved within me, replaced by every single possibility that being with Calum involved.
Perhaps I could allow myself to want those things again. You know, the corny shit I’d relegated to the realm of “Only Fools Chase After That”.
The dates.
The relationship.
The need for that one basic human emotion that always seemed to cause much more agony than it did happiness.
I’d once dreamed of love. Had yearned for it so damn hard that it’d turned me into a fool. Maybe I could finally allow myself to want it again.
Maybe Calum would be that for me.
The full impact of that registered, followed by so much emotion that it left me staggered.
Shit. I almost couldn’t contain it. It took every ounce of self-control within me to hide it, to stand slowly and pretend I wasn’t a volcano of want about to explode.
Want. Want. Want.
All of a sudden, so many damned things twisted inside me, things I wanted—all revolving around one man.
“Now you’re the bossy one,” I told Demitra, pursing my lips with false annoyance. We kissed each other on the cheek. “Good luck with whatever it is. And call me.” AKA: she had no choice but to give me the deets once she knew what happened.
I know. I know. I’m a hypocrite.
“I will, you nag.”
Demitra’s comment ripped a short laugh out of me. It didn’t last long. She gave me a tremulous smile in return. When she walked away, I stayed there, torn between my newfound happiness and worry for her.
Nothing I could do for her. Only wait.
And prepare to murder Dorian Sorenson if it turned out that he hurt one of my best friends.
It’d upset Calum, but surely I could make him understand.
Reminded of him, I began making my way out of the Columbia University grounds.
Imagining the look on his face, how he would give me that huge, beautiful smile—the one I’d secretly dubbed my smile—had my heart skipping a beat.
Not just a regular skip, either. This was that skip. The dangerous one you feel right before you realize someone has stolen your heart.
Shit.
I refused to analyze that right then. I wanted to give him the news while I was excited and happy. Not scared and anxious. So I tucked my little newfound knowledge into the back of my mind and jumped on the subway heading straight to his office building.
One benefit of being best friends with one of Calum’s assistants? I knew for a fact Angelina had the day off today.
Relieved, I hurried into the elevator and headed up to his office.
I had every intention of telling Ang my secret. Trust me.
Just not while she was at work.
Or while she continued to walk around, so damned pissed I feared she would go postal on everyone and everything one of these days.
Did I know the reason behind her ill temper lately? Well, duh. Just like Mikael had realized the Dick had gotten me twisted, I’d come to the same conclusion about my friend.
What I lacked was details.
A name, most importantly.
It’d been added to my to-do list. At the very top. Right below “Get my shit together”. I just hadn’t had a chance to do any digging.
Maybe I’d get lucky and when I headed over to confess about Calum, she'd end up spilling the beans like Demi had.
I stepped off the elevator, right into the large reception area of Agathon Designs. The company had been going for seven generations strong, since the early 1900's, so the splendor before me was to be expected. Agathon Designs—alongside Sorenson Architecture—had been responsible for some of the city's biggest and best-known landmarks.
I'd never been here before. As much as I anticipated grandeur, the burgundy carpet, marble walls and columns, and the decorations still managed to shock me.
Not to mention the sheer size of the place. I felt like I'd walked into a museum housed inside a skyscraper.
“May I help you, ma’am?”
I turned, smiling sheepishly at the receptionist and walked over toward her desk.
On the other side of the mostly empty reception area, a large set of wooden double doors opened, and a loud voice boomed from inside.
“Last time I’m going to tell you, I’m not trying to play games with this!”
Another woman exiting a door to the lef
t dropped all her files at the sound of that yell.
Lucas Alexander exited his brother’s office in a blue suit and enough frustration to be felt all the way where I stood.
I heard what sounded like Calum’s voice calling out something from within the office, but didn’t make out the words.
“I told you, I’m not staying away. I tried; I can’t. So tough luck if you don’t like it!” Lucas slammed the double doors closed, obviously not caring if he caused a scene. He whirled around.
All the way across the giant expanse of the office’s lobby, his eyes landed on me.
I’d never personally met him before, but recognition flashed in those familiar, hazel depths.
When he waved me over, I just stood there, blinking.
He gave me an impatient facial expression and did his waving-thing again.
Okie-dokie. I headed over that way, taking my time as I analyzed the younger Alexander brother. His resemblance to Calum startled me every time I saw him. Same black hair, grown just long enough to slick back, with that one stubborn lock falling over his forehead.
Lucas’s eyes were a bit larger, rounder, almost boyish, but also the exact same shade as his brother’s eyes. Same cheekbones, square jaw, straight nose, thick lips.
I’d seen pictures of both their parents—their deceased mother and father—during a Google search, and both of them had turned out a perfect mix of their parents. But I’d seen siblings resembling both their parents many times, and none had ever come as close to resembling twins as Lucas and Calum did.
Lucas did his own little scan of me, and the closer I got, the more I saw the corner of his lips tilting up in an amused smirk. He crossed his arms, rocking back and forth on his feet. “Well, if it isn’t the woman that finally pulled that stick halfway out of my brother’s ass.”
That comment caught me so off guard that I jerked to a stop, a laugh bursting out of me.
The last of his annoyance melted off his face and he smiled at me with that same wide, eyes-glowing smile his brother had. “Knew you’d appreciate that.”
“I must inform you,” I said, giggling between words as I walked up to him. “That I have seen no evidence of a stick up your brother’s ass.”
“Well, you haven’t looked far enou—”
“And, I’ve seen enough to know for sure, if you get what I mean.”
Lucas’s mouth closed and his head snapped back a bit. He stared up at the ceiling, as if he couldn’t quite believe I’d just said that to him.
I couldn’t either. Oh my fucking God, what was wrong with me? First time I met the brother, officially, and I threw that at him?
Well, to be fair, his opening comment had rather set the tone. Right?
“Oh, man. Oh, man.” Lucas shook his head. “I like you already, but man, my imagination . . .”
He trailed off but I got it. I’d probably scarred him. “Sorry.” I shrugged one shoulder sheepishly.
That smile flashed in my direction again. “Nah, it’s cool. Honestly, I’m freaking relieved you’re not another stuck-up gold digger.”
I blinked. Wow. Not that it bothered me to hear him speak that way, but that right there spoke volumes about Calum’s ex Diane. I took the chance to do a closer examination of Calum’s little brother.
There were bags under his eyes. Despite his good-natured smile and the playful gleam in his eyes, I saw the tension he tried so hard to hide.
Probably the same tension that had had him yelling at his brother seconds earlier.
“How’d you know who I am?” I asked him.
“Based on all the descriptions I’ve received in the last few months.”
Calum spoke to his brother about me? A lot?
I must have not hidden my delighted reaction very well, because Lucas smirked down at me before continuing. “And one impatient Google search on my part.”
One should always Google one self. I clearly remember Angelina telling me this. Yet, I had never listened, and for the first time ever, I actually regretted that fact.
What the hell did the search engine have to say about me?
“Scared of what the internet had to say?” Lucas raised an eyebrow playfully.
Damn me and my transparency. “Of course not. My life is nowhere near as exciting as yours is. That is, if half the rumors are true.”
He scoffed at that. “Rumors? Don’t tell me you actually listen to that shit.”
“Kind of hard not to when you’re all over page six,” I admitted.
Lucas ran a hand through his hair, staring off into space. “Page six? Am I on there often?”
“Last few times I checked.”
“Damn, I do need to pay attention to what’s being printed on there. People talk about me that much then?”
Whoa. That conversation had just gone from playful to serious in the span of one breath.
Was he really that oblivious to his reputation? “Eh . . . we just met, but I still feel like it’s my obligation to let you know: you’re kind of prolific, man. A guy can’t live the way you do, being as well-known as you are, and not expect to go down in infamy. I personally didn’t pay attention to you until I met your brother, but once the info started pouring in, well, you can guess.”
His eyebrows snapped down with annoyance and he aimed that straight at me. Like it was somehow my fault the whole city knew he moonlighted as a malewhore. “What if the stories are really just that: rumors?”
Hah. Okay. I raised an eyebrow, giving him my best “Come on” expression. “Are they?”
Lucas stared at me impassively for a few seconds. Then he broke out into his boyish smile. “You know what? I like you.” He clapped me on the shoulder with his large hand. “You say it like you see it. You’re perfect for my stuck-up brother. He needs someone like you to keep him straight.”
My heart tripped at the mention of me being perfect for Calum. Lucas moved away from the closed double doors, and I took my chance to move toward them. “Stuck-up?” I asked, placing my hands on the handles. “Didn’t I tell you nothing of the sort is true?”
Lucas’s eyes snap wide. “Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed.”
I looked back at Lucas over my shoulder and shrugged. “Not even a hint of it.”
Placing a hand on his chest, Lucas gasped. “Dear God, woman. Marry him.”
Oh, hell no. Not even touching that with a ten foot pole. I’d just decided to try dating, and he wanted to throw marriage in there. Freaking lunatic. “Nice meeting you, Lucas,” was all I said as I moved to push open the doors.
“I’m serious! Help me fix him!”
I obviously ignored him, making my way inside Calum’s office.
I wanted to take it all in. The size of it, its white setting, the gigantic windows on all sides. The gorgeous man sitting behind his white desk, wearing the same suit I’d fucked him in hours ago.
But I couldn’t. Because as soon as I walked in there, the first thing I noticed was that he was on the phone. The second thing? The confused and frustrated expression on his face.
I caught the tail-end of what he said into the receiver.
“I don’t understand why you’re even bringing this up, it’s over—”
That’s when he looked up and saw me standing there.
And his eyes. Man, they widened in a way that sent alarms blaring all through me. The kind I usually wouldn’t ignore. Not when my paranoia remained on a 24-7, constant stand-by.
I’d decided to trust what we had, however, and although it’d been such a recent decision, I hadn’t realized how utterly I’d made it. How much I'd meant it.
I wouldn’t come to realize it until much, much later.
When it was too late.
In that moment, though, I stood firm in my decision, and if a flare of suspicion came to life, I squashed it so fast I didn’t even register it.
“I have to go,” Calum said quickly into the phone, hanging up the call less than a second later. It didn’t seem like he even waited for
the other person to say goodbye. “Livana. What are you doing here?”
I made it as far as that desk, but no further. My hands shook as I looked into his eyes. Hell, everything did. Clasping my hands together, I stood there, elated and vulnerable all at once.
I was doing it. Taking that chance.
And he didn’t even have a clue how monumental that was for me.
“Liv, what’s wrong?” Calum moved to stand, staring worriedly into my eyes.
I shook my head at him, the motion stopping him before he left his seat. I walked around his desk toward him.
Watching me curiously, Calum pushed his chair back, those hazel eyes intense as they studied me.
He looked so sexy in that suit. I remembered how he’d looked in it when we’d fucked in the limo. Biting my lip, I grabbed his dark blue tie and pulled him closer.
Calum spread his legs, making room for me to step between them. He exhaled when I did so, biting his lower lip, those eyes going lazy with lust.
My pussy pounded at that look. Lip caught between my teeth, I smiled at him and leaned down, pressing my lips to his. I took his mouth with every bit of emotion thrumming inside me. He jerked at the first rough swipe of my tongue. Groaned when I sucked on his bottom lip and whimpered at his reactions.
“God,” Calum panted into my mouth, tearing another whimper from me. “Want you again. So bad.” He shifted restlessly in his seat. “And I have a meeting in ten minutes.”
Breathless, I laid my forehead on his. “I just came to give you the good news.”
His eyes glowed up at me, making my heart stutter. “You’re coming to the conference with me.”
They say that you know when you truly love someone when you realize that seeing them happy means everything to you. Everything you own. Everything around you.
The universe and every damn star in it.
Seeing his reaction did that to me. Hit me with a pure dose of ecstasy that left me lightheaded.
I cupped his face, caressing the stubble that had just started to grow there. “I’m going to the conference with you.”
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