“Yeah, it’s just rough.” I admit, and I’m thankful I don’t have to explain what is.
“Do you want to talk about it?” he asks.
“Not really.” He nods still looking at me.
“Well if you want to I’m here, you know that right?”
I sigh heavily, looking at him, “I’m pretty sure I was more in love with the idea of Joe than actually Joe.”
“Then why did you almost marry him?” He questions.
“Because I didn’t know the different I’ve always wanted that happily ever after, I guess. I one day want someone to be able to call my husband. I want that storybook ending; as much as I pretend that I’m a hard ass.”
“I think everyone wants that, secretly.” He shrugs.
“Even you, mister playboy?” He laughs, shaking his head as if he is almost embarrassed.
“Especially me,” he admits.
“Then why not try and have a relationship with anyone of the number of girls that you bring home?”
“I told you, because they don’t really care about me; only long enough to get me back to my place, maybe steal something, or smash in my windshield, but I have seen many of them later and they don’t even remember me.” And it’s the first time that I realize that sleeping around is his defense mechanism that he really is, just like me, a wounded soul.
“I would remember you.” I say before I can stop myself. I just want to take the hurt out of his eyes. I look up to see his eyes staring into me. He breaks our gaze and he smiles. It’s a smile that tells me thank you.
“Want to hear me play?” and I nod my head.
Austin walks me home from his house well after the sun has gone down and he is looking over to the ocean. We approach the door and he suddenly turns to me.
“It can’t be good for you to sit around all by yourself all the time.”
“Yeah, well I have to find a job.”
“I need an assistant. If you want to you could come work for me.” He offers.
“Why would you do that?” I ask.
“What I’m going to tell my dad, because my assistant quit-,” I stop him.
“Did you sleep with her?” I ask
“Sophie, as much as we pretend I’m going to be honest right now. You don’t want to know the answer to that.” And for the first time he lets on that he is as attracted to me and he knows that I am just as attracted to him.
“Ugh,” he laughs as I watch his hand go to brush the back of his neck.
“The real reason why is because I always hate who my dad hires and really everyone that works in his office, and I like you. You’re not fake or sugar coated. You’re raw, dirty, and gritty; and you’re not afraid to put in my place.”
“Are you admitting that you need to be put in your place?” I ask, just slightly flirting with him.
“Yes,” He says and I watch as he begins to walk away. “You want the job?” he says as he turns around, looking to me.
“S-Sure,” I stutter not being able to say no, and he smiles at me.
“Good, be there at eight tomorrow. Good night, Sophie. I’ll see you in the morning.” For whatever reason that sentence coming out of his mouth makes all the hairs on my arm stand on ends.
I force my mouth to open again, “Austin,” he turns around to look at me and I step closer so I don’t have to yell at him, “Thank you, for tonight. The past three days I haven’t really been able to not think about it and well today… well you saw me, it was bad.” He nods walking back over to me and intently staring to me.
“It’s my pleasure, Soph.” and he leans down and places a kiss on my cheek, I turn around, and I start to walk inside. I understand why woman find him irresistible.
I push the door open and begin to walk inside when I hear the footsteps coming down the stairs.
“Soph, where have you been?” Mar asks.
“I went to Austin’s for a little while.”
“Soph,” she whines.
“What Mar, we are just friends. He came by and saw me moping on the balcony, and then invited me over, we sat and listened to music and he walked me home, that is it. Well he offered me a job.”
“A job?” she asks me, “Doing what?”
“He said that he needed a secretary and told me to show up tomorrow.” She nods smiling at me, “What?”
“I’m not sure if it’s a good idea, but I’ll be happy that you won’t be cooped up in the house all the time.”
I left out the part about having more fun tonight than I had in the last year combined and that Austin made me smile wider in the short time that I had known him than most people. And that he made me laugh harder tonight, in one night, than I think I have ever laughed in my life. I knew that she wouldn’t approve. I knew that she wouldn’t understand. I wondered what Austin was thinking about; wonder what it would be like to work for him. I decided that I wasn’t going to take the job; I would go out and find something for myself… I don’t need something handed to me.
Chapter Six
I wake at seven in the morning to the sound of my phone ringing and I groan silencing it, and pulling the covers back over my head. I exhale trying to fall back asleep into the rhythm that only sweet sleep can bring when my phone starts ringing yet again. I snatch it off of the night stand and whip it open.
“Whoever this is, there better be somebody fucking dying.” I growl into the phone, and then I hear a laughter come through it
“Alright, note taken that you are not a morning person, get up, and get ready because I will be at your house in five minutes.” I hear Austin tell me through the earpiece.
“Why?” I ask.
“Because you are late for work.” He says.
“But-,” he cuts me off.
“No, look Soph you have to get out of the house. Just try it out, come in for the day, if you hate it than I will start looking for someone else.”
I groan rolling over and looking at the clock, “What the fuck, it’s only seven fifteen.”
“I know,” I hear him laugh, “But I knew that you would back out, and I thought it would make it easier if you walked in there with someone that you knew. Also, I called early because I figured that you would need some time to get ready.” How did he already know me this well?
“There better be coffee involved.” I groan.
“I think that I can arrange that.”
“Fine,” I tell him getting up, “How much time do I have?”
“Twenty minutes.”
“Ugh,” I groan. I can hear his smile through the phone. I hang up and begin to hurry and get ready.
I hear the knock on the door before I get a chance to open it, as I walk out in a simple white dress, a belt around my middle, and a pair of pointy toe shoes; I decided to wear my hair down and my glasses. I might as well make a statement the first day. I see Austin’s eyes widen again when he sees me step out from the inside of the house.
“Wow,” he pauses looking me over. I know that this outfit used to get a lot of compliments.
“Thanks, can we get this over with.” I ask him walking to his car. I grin when he walks to the passenger side and opens the door for me letting me step in and then closing it behind me. I watch him walk over to his side and get in as well. “You know, I could have driven myself.” I tell him.
“I know, but I wanted to.”
“Don’t you think that it will cause people to talk?” I look to him, “Wouldn’t they think I got this job for some other reason?” The thought of what I am implying makes my stomach tighten.
He shrugs, “Who cares, everyone else sort of thinks that I am a joke anyways.”
“Why’s that?” I ask
“They think that I don’t care about it. They think that I’m too flirty, and that I’m never going to meet anyone and ‘settle down’,” he actually hand quotes it with his one free hand, “I don’t know they probably get the feeling that I would rather be doing something else.”
“Why would they, I mean you h
ave won every case you have worked on.”
“Because I would rather be doing something else.” He says bluntly, and then looks over to me.
“Then why don’t you?” I ask him.
“It’s not that easy, Soph.” He looks to me like I am crazy.
“Sure it is, you think ‘I’m not happy, let me do something that will make me happy’ you only live once Austin why not do something that makes it worth it?”
“But I have already built up so much, I already have this lifestyle. How am I supposed to just leave it?”
“Fuck, how do you know that you can’t still have this lifestyle doing what you love? It’s worth the risk or possibly failing and being poor, than to wake up one morning and wonder why you never even tried.” I tell him as I look over.
“It’s not that easy, Soph.”
“But it is,” is the last thing I say to him before we pull up to the building and walk inside.
It’s lunchtime before I get another chance to catch my breath. Apparently working for Austin is going to be more than I thought it would be. It does catch me off guard when I come across a few documents about my case, but I ignore them as I place them into a pile that I need to take into his office; I knock on the door,
“Come in,” I hear through the thick wood, I push the door open and walk to his desk. “Hey, Soph,” he smiles as I place the stack of papers on his desk, “You want to go get some lunch?”
“Sure,” I shrug.
“Alright, be ready in ten minutes,” he tells me and I begin to walk out of his office and back to my desk as an older man stops me,
“Well, who are you?” I hear the older man who is looking at me to the extent that he is making me uncomfortable.
“So-Sophie,” I stutter at him.
“Ah,” he smirks, “So, you’re Austin’s new secretary.” I nod my head, “I see why he wanted you; although you’re not like most of the girls he would go for.”
“Excuse me?” I ask him, slightly annoyed now.
“Usually they are a lot more-,” he pauses as if trying to think of the perfect word to us, “Artificial, but not you… nope. You look completely natural.”
Well, if it eases your mind I do dye my hair.” I mutter to him causing him to step back and laugh a bit.
“Well just so you know,” he says looking back at the room that I had just walked out of, “He’s never going to change. The way he is, he will always be that way.”
“You don’t seem to have much faith in him.” I bat back at him.
“It’s not that I don’t have faith, he’s a great lawyer, although he doesn’t want to be here and I know that, but I just want you to know, you can’t change him he will always be this way.”
“It’s not like that.” I say trying to explain that I’m not trying to be with him.
“They all say that, but-,” he starts to say but is interrupted.
“Dad,” I hear Austin say, “Can you stop pestering sweet Sophie?” Then he turns to me and smiles, saying, “Are you ready?”
“Yeah, I just have to put this away.” I tell him and he tells me that he will meet me downstairs, and walks away. At first I look back to Austin’s father and he looks stunned, but he lets the look fall.
“It will turn into that. That son of mine has had more secretaries than anyone else I know.” I wonder to myself if he is still talking about only secretaries as I slam the stack of papers on my desk as I turn to him.
“Like I said, it isn’t like that.” And I turn and walk down the hall following in the footsteps of Austin. I wonder to myself why I even let what his dad said get to me. It’s not like Austin and I were anything more than friends. I step out of the elevator car and walk towards the exit as I see Austin, leaning over the desk, flirting with the secretary, as I approach he straightens himself and looks to me smiling.
“Are you ready to go?” I quickly nod my head then he looks over to the girl behind the desk and winks. I feel my stomach tighten. We walk into a different restaurant only a few moments later, and I feel my bad mood radiating over. I don’t want to be here, with him, and I’m not sure why. “Soph, are you alright?” I nod my head, but don’t say a word. “Sorry, I left you with my dad.” He says looking down to the floor, “It’s just I can hardly stand the guy.” I nod my head in response, agreeing with him. “What did he say to you?”
“He was warning me about you,” I hear him stifle a cough, “I told him it wasn’t like that, but he felt the need to inform me that it never starts that way with you, that you have had more ‘secretaries’ than anyone he has ever met.” I actually air-quote the word secretaries; I’m not sure why I am so mad at him.
“He doesn’t know what he is talking about.” He tells me.
“Oh really, because I walk up to your office and it’s clear that you have been making out with one of the girls in the building and right after you dad tells me that, I come down to see you fucking her with your eyes.” I’m raising my voice.
“I wasn’t doing that.” I see him becoming irritated now. I’m not sure why I am doing this.
“Don’t lie, it’s not becoming.”
“What does it matter to you anyways?” he asks trying to keep his voice down as my use of profanity had gotten us a bit of attention.
“It doesn’t,” I say getting up and looking back at him, “Just know now that it won’t happen so don’t even try.”
“Where are you going?” he snaps at me.
“There’s some paper work that needs to be finished.” And I storm out of the restaurant before the server has a chance to come over to us. I think I see him looking out of the window at me as I storm down the street.
For a split second I admitted to myself that yesterday when we had those moments in his house I felt something that I wanted to feel something, hell that I felt something the first time I met him. When he comes back to his office he doesn’t even look at me, in fact at four thirty I see the girl from the lobby floor come up the elevator and walks into his office again. I huff to myself as I bury all my feelings down inside of me.
A quarter till five I walk to his door and knock loud and hear him shuffling around and then call for me to come inside. When I open the door the girl from the lobby floor slides out looking slightly less put together than the last time I watched her scurry out. He lowers his eyes as I walk up to him handing him the paper work that I needed to for the day and I turn walking back out the way I came. All I can think about was the conversation I had with Mar after I saw her leave the last time. It didn’t smell like sex when I walked in… well I definitely can’t say that this time.
“Soph,” I hear him say as a sigh escapes his mouth, “I’m sorry,” I hear the sincerity in his voice but I can’t look at him.
“It doesn’t matter, Austin.” I start to walk back towards the door when he starts talking again.
“But it does,” he says getting up from his chair and walking to stand in front of me, I turn my head so I don’t have to look him in the eyes. “See this is the crazy thing and I’m not sure why, but I care about what you think of me.”
“Well you sure have a funny way of showing it,” I snap at him.
“What do you want me to do?”
“Nothing,” I pause finally let my eyes meet his. “Also, Mar is coming to get me, and I’m not sure if this is going to work for me here. So, I should probably not come back tomorrow.” I tell him and walk back out of the room.
He doesn’t come out after me, and he doesn’t try to get me to stay. I know with the anger that sits inside of me that I wanted him to.
Chapter Seven
The week passes slower with me laying around and listening to music. I only hear from Austin once and it’s a quick phone call to talk about the court case which they have moved up a few weeks to the middle of February, he says it is them trying to mess with me, trying to make it so I will not be able to make it there for the day; trying to screw me. It is Friday afternoon and Mar has taken today till Thursday
off because of Christmas, but as I make my way down the stairs I see a cleaning crew leaving and I walk around the corner to see Mar pacing and I know that she is nervous about something.
“Mar, what’s going on?” She jumps when I call to her.
“Um, nothing, why do you ask?”
“Because you have hired a cleaning crew and you are pacing around. So, spill now!”
“Well-,” she stutters and I know that I am not going to like whatever it is that she is going to tell me. “Mom and Dad are coming on Sunday.”
“What?” I yell, “You couldn’t have given me longer to prepare for this?”
“I knew that if I told you, that you would fly back to Boston to not have to deal with them, and I wanted one holiday that we were all together again, you know you haven’t been to a Christmas since before college.”
“I know, for the last few years I was always busy during Christmas, believe it or not.”
“I know that you have been, but… I just wanted you here.” She tells me, and how can I be mad at my sister for this.
“Fine,” I finally say, “But you owe me… a night to relax.” She nods quickly.
“Tomorrow night. We will all go out.” She says and I wonder if she is going to ask Austin to come out, she hasn’t asked me what happened that day that I worked for him and I haven’t volunteered any information either.
It’s Saturday night and I am staring at the mirror as I get ready, and all I can think of is trying to impress Austin although he should be the last person I should be trying to impress. I pull out a punk chic styled dress; it’s an all-black extremely short dress, and my makeup is semi-dark to match it. I pull out a pair of flat leather boots and pull them onto my feet, they go up to my knees and lace all the way down, Joe always called them my adventure boots. I like to think of them as my ass kicking boots. I walk downstairs and when Mar sees me her eyes budge.
Fated Page 5
