“You love her. Really? She cannot manage to do a single thing right, she is a screw up and she always will be one.”
“Dad, leave.” I hear Mar speak up for me.
“Excuse me?” he asks, stunned. We are all stunned
“You heard me,” she says, “Leave; I will not sit around anymore and tolerate you talking to her like that again. You cannot control us and that’s all you have ever wanted to do. That’s why you treat her the way that you do because she has never budged to you, and that’s all you have ever wanted. To bully her, I have let you bully me into this life.”
“And you’re complaining, Marsi, look around. Look at your house. You are condemning me for pressuring you into a life that you can afford anything that you want.”
“Yes, because I wish I had the guts that Soph does, I wish I had the guys to start doing something that I truly wanted to do, to make me completely happy, and to stand up to you. You never noticed her even when she was doing well. You wouldn’t even acknowledge her success.”
“Only because I knew that it would be short lived,” he tells my sister not even acknowledging the rest of us in the room.
“Bullshit, because she rebelled against you and still managed to become successful.” She pauses and looks up to him, “And you managed to resent her for it, but I won’t let you come in here and talk to her like that in my house again, I need to do something that I should have done a long time ago. You need to leave.”
“But Mar, I’m your father.” He begs her.
“Yes, and you are also Sophie’s as well so start acting like you have two daughters.” I watch as Mar walks toward the front door and opens it for him. He looks down at the ground, then his eyes meet mine and I can see the hatred in them. Finally, he leaves.
“Barb,” he says behind him at my mother, “Grab our bags and meet me at the car.”
I follow behind my mother as she walks up the stairs, as Mar and Austin stare at the door that my father just walked out of; we all know that it is his way of telling everyone that he will never treat me like he does Mar. She moves to the right as I reach for my door on the left.
“Sophie,” I whip my head around and she is actually smiling to me, “You looked really happy when you got home.”
“I was.”
“You know that Marsi is right. He only acts that way because you were always the rebellious one. You always did what you wanted to, especially if we said otherwise.” She stops for a moment closing the distance between us and she brings her hand up to my cheek. “I am so proud of you.”
“For what?” I have no idea what she could be proud of me for, my father was right about the fact that I am a fuck up.
“For being exactly who you want to be, for taking chances, for going out on a limb even when that limb is cracking at your feet. Your business might not have worked out in Boston, but here you have the opportunity to be a completely different person. You have the chance to reinvent yourself.” I look up to her and I know what she is saying, and I wonder why I haven’t thought of it myself; I know why, because I have been wallowing in my own self-pity. “Austin, he seems to really care about you, dear. We have met him many times and I can honestly say that I have never seen him look at anyone like that. Or for that matter I have never seen him with a girl out in public at all.”
“So, you knew that he was a womanizer.”
“Of course,” she laughs.
“Then why didn’t dad? Why was he trying to push Mar and him together?” I ask, I have to know.
“Because his family is very well off, and he thought it would be perfect if the two of them got together.”
“But I’m not good enough for him,” I tell her looking down at the ground. She smiles as she looks past me and turns toward the room that they were staying in. I’m left standing in the hallways staring behind her wondering what the hell just happened, when I feel fingertips on my back and I jump to turn around. His eyes look sad.
“Is that what you think?” He asks me seriously. “That you’re not good enough for me?” I’m stunned for a moment that he is here.
“I didn’t say that. I said that it’s what my father thinks.”
“But you believe him.” I don’t say anything but I let my eyes fall to the ground. He stands looking at me for moments that pass slow. “Soph,” he pauses until I pull my eyes back up to look at him. “I don’t give a shit what anyone thinks, your dad, my dad, the entire fucking world. Do you want to know what I care about when I look at you?” I try to pull my hands together because I cannot take the moment that is going on around me, but he grips them in his own and pulls them to my sides; stepping into me and causing me breath to stop. I finally nod my head. “I care about the light in your eyes when you look at me, the one that dims when you look at anyone else. I care about the fact that when you look up to me I see that there is not any judgment in them. You don’t care what I was before, all of that doesn’t mean anything to you because you understand that the past is in the past and you don’t force me to relive my bad decisions. I care about the fact that when I look at you, you completely take my breath away, and you don’t even know it.” his lips crash down to mine only seconds later and I can’t breathe for minutes. He pulls me in closer to him as I pull him backwards into my bedroom and shutting the door behind us. When his head falls down to my neck I can’t help but let a moan escape my lips when his head shoots up and he laughs. “Shh,” he says placing a finger over my lips. “Your mother is across the hall and Mar is downstairs.” He says.
“I’m sure that they know what is going on.” I tell him laughing.
“Maybe, but knowing and hearing are two very different things.” It causes me to laugh as his face comes back down and brushes my neck.
Chapter Ten
I had a dream last night about my business, I miss it desperately and all I keep going back to is the conversation with my mother last night. She told me that my business didn’t work in Boston, but I can reinvent myself. Was she trying to tell me that she believed in me to run it here?
I’m sitting on the balcony that overlooks to water as I am trying to figure out her ambiguous sentence. I bring my cup of coffee up to my lips and I hear shuffling behind me and then hands come up to brush my neck, “Good morning, Beautiful.” Austin whispers into my ear. “What are you doing out here?”
“Just thinking,” I tell him, causing him to smile and he crushes his lips down to mine.
“What about?” he smiles sitting down and sipping from my cup of coffee; I try to overlook him drinking my coffee, and he smiles almost like he knows that I wouldn’t normally let anyone drink it.
“About something that my mother said to me last night before they left.” He raises his eyebrows as if telling me to go on and I sigh. “I think that I might want to try and reopen my business.” I admit to him and he smiles.
“Here?” he asks me and I smile nodding my head. “That’s a great idea. I know how much you loved it in Boston, plus I think that it would do really well here.”
“You think so?”
“Of course, it’s Miami.” I smile to him as he walks back into the room as my phone begins to ring.
“Austin, could you grab that for me?” I hear him pick it up as I continue to look out over the water and try to concoct a plan on how to open the business as he comes up to me laughing a bit and handing me the phone.
“It’s Paige.” He says smiling to me. I mouth the word ‘sorry’ to him as he smiles again, knowing that she said something ridiculous.
“Hey, Paige,” I say as I place the phone to my face.
“What the fuck Soph, I don’t hear from you for days and when I call and a sex-on-a-stick voice answers your phone, where have you been hiding?” I hear Austin laugh again before he walks into the bathroom that is attached to my bedroom.
“Sorry, it’s been a little intense. But it’s crazy that you just called I’m thinking about trying the business down here.”
“That’s gre
at, but that can wait for a few minutes, who, the hell, was that?” I smile as I look over my shoulder to make sure that he can’t hear me.
“That was Austin.” I admit to her.
“You mean your lawyer, the one that your sister begged you to stay away from?”
“Yeah, that’s the one.”
“So, why is he answering your phone?” She asks.
“I think you already know the answer to that, but seriously Paige I am really thinking about trying to start it here, Austin thinks that it could really work. Would you want to come and try to help me? I can’t do it without you.” I almost beg her.
“Of course,” she says without hesitation, “Only if you tell me everything about this Austin.”
“Oh, Paige, it’s pretty bad.”
“Why?”
“Because I love him,” the words take longer to say than I thought that they would.
“Have you told him that?” she asks me knowing my problem with the words.
“Yeah, we were in Saint Croix for New Year’s Eve.” I recounted that moment for her as only I would for my best friend.
“You forgot how incredible sexy that I am.” I hear at my ear as I close my eyes in embarrassment as Austin laughs and sits down next to me on the balcony. I must have been so into my story that I didn’t hear the shower turn off.
“Oh, was that him?” Paige asks me.
“Yup,” I squeak out.
“He heard what you were saying didn’t he?” She’s laughing through the phone now.
“Yup, I’ve got to go Paige, love you and can’t wait to see you.” I say quickly hanging up the phone and look to Austin who is still smiling at me.
“She seems pretty unique.” He says which causes me to laugh.
“What did she say when you answered?”
“Who the fuck is this?” he says trying to mock her voice.
“Sorry, she’s sometimes a little blunt.”
“No, worries, oh but you did forget to tell her one thing?”
“What’s that?” I ask looking up to him.
“The way that I made you moan out my name in the hotel room.” I look down at the ground and I know when he starts laughing that it’s because my face is turning red. “Oh, Soph, you are so adorable when you are embarrassed.” He says scooting my chair closer to his as he brushes his lips to mine and I can’t help but laugh. He snakes his hand up to my thigh pulling the oversized shirt up and exposing the fact that I am only wearing a pair of panties underneath. “Oh Soph, you’re killing me.” He pauses as he slides his hand up further brushing the outside of my panties.
“Austin,” I gasp out and he smiles up to me as he kneels down in front of me. “We are outside.”
“Shh,” he says to me and he pulls my panties off and I feel his tongue brush against me.
“Oh, god,” I gasp again and I think I hear him chuckle against me and he flicks his tongue back and forth. I can’t manage to keep still as I let my hands go out and grab a hold of his hair. I try and keep my eyes open so that if people walk past us or if our neighbors look out that it won’t look like we are doing what we are actually doing. Well that is until I feel his tongue press into me and I can’t help but let my head fall back as I bite down on my lip to try to keep from screaming out. I feel the tension building inside of me as he continues and I am trying desperately to hold back, to hold onto this amazing feeling for a little bit longer. Well until the last flick of his tongue that sends me over the edge and I let the moan escape my lips as I toss my head back one last time. I feel him smile as he pulls his mouth away and begins to kiss my inner thighs. I can’t help but smile when I open my eyes, that is, until I manage to make eye connect with a man standing on the beach. I must look to Austin with a complete look of embarrassment because he starts to laugh a bit. I quickly stand and rush into my bed room, I can still feel the man’s eyes on my when I walk into my room.
“Calm down, Soph.” I hear him say moments later when he walks in the bedroom behind me and over to the bed that I have thrown myself on.
“Calm down? I’m mortified.”
“It’s not that bad. I’m sure that he didn’t mind.”
“How can you say that?”
“Cause he gave me a thumbs up when I stood up and looked over to figure out what had happened.” He’s laughing. That asshole. I smack him in the stomach as I get up and walk to the bathroom to shower. “Soph, you look sexy in that outfit. More so now as well because I know that you don’t have any panties on.”
“Shut up.” I almost yell at him, covering my face, before quickly shutting the door.
I wake up early, not being able to sleep, and as I sit up in Austin’s bed I can’t help but think about my father. He has always been a little harsh nothing that I have ever done has ever been good enough for him. In fact, in the start of high school I was a pretty awesome student I always did my homework, I didn’t do anything that I wasn’t supposed to. I made all A’s and B’s up until my junior year. I remember my report card was sent home and I was thrilled because I had made an A+ in the hardest class in the school, and my father looked at me and said, “That’s nice, but what about this B?” I was completely taken a back when he said that. I realized then that it didn’t matter what I did in my life nothing would ever be good enough, but Mar could do anything and he would adore her. It wasn’t fair, and that’s when I stopped caring in school. After that I completely changed; started hanging out with a different group of friends, started drinking, and doing drugs. I’m not proud of my past, but it is a part of who I am.
The warmth of his hands are on my arms is what brings me out of my thoughts. “Sophie, are you alright?” he asks me sitting up next to me, naked.
“What? Yeah.” I have to brush the tears away from my eyes and hope that in the early morning he cannot see me crying.
“What’s wrong?” he scoots closer to me and wraps his arms around my body. That is the end of trying to compose myself. The tears begin to fall faster and I completely let myself break down. This is the first time since I was little that I have ever let anyone besides Paige see my cry, Joe never cared enough to even try to console me when he thought I was the slightest bit upset. “Hey, hey, love, what’s going on?” I let myself crumble and turn towards him as he embraces me into a hug, holding me tighter than anyone has ever in my life. I let all my heartache that surrounds my father, Joe, my disappointments in myself fall out all around me. I wonder if he can see the side of me that I never let out; the hurt, broken little girl.
I finally still in his arms and feel him rubbing my hair down; I know it’s what has calmed me even if I didn’t realize it until right now. I sit cradled in his arms as he pulls back a bit and kiss me gently. I know the kiss is telling me that I don’t have to explain to him right now. I can wait, but do I really want to?
“Austin, I-,” he shakes his head telling me that there is no need to explain that he understands the hurt, but I have to let him know. “No, let me explain, everything just caught up with me about my father.”
“Soph, you’ve met my dad, he doesn’t have the kindest things to say about me either, I understand.”
“But it’s not just that, it’s everything. It’s my father, it’s this bullshit going on with Joe, and it’s watching my life unravel around me.”
“Soph, is that the first time that you have cried about everything?” I slowly nod my head to him, it is the first time since I have been arrested that I have really cried. “How have you managed to keep everything bottled up for so long?”
“I’ve never been one to share my feelings. In fact, that is the first time anyone has seen me cry since I was little; well except for Paige.”
“Why?” I shrug my shoulders, but he knows me well enough that I bet he can guess. “You know it isn’t a sign of weakness to let people see you cry.”
“It is,” I reply before sliding back under the covers praying that he will let the conversation drop.
Chapter Eleven
“Hey,” I say maybe not as excited as I used to answer for him, but I am more excited to see Paige than talk to him, I’m sure that he would understand that.
“Hey, Love I have two things to tell you. first thing is that your date got moved up again, it’s the 28th of this month so just make sure that you are ready to leave on the 27th, I’ll line everything up and book everything. Also, the firm is throwing a last minute party next weekend, and we discussed it and have decided that we want you guys to plan it.”
“Austin, I don’t need you to do me this favor.” I don’t mean for it to come out as harsh as it does.
“I didn’t, they just asked me if I knew anyone who could do it last minute and I mentioned how you were trying to set your business up here and they told me to offer you it. They pay pretty well.”
“How much is pretty well?”
“At least thirty thousand,”
Fated Page 8
