“And I don’t plan to.” I start to turn around and walk away.
“You’re just going to waste whatever this is? Throw it away, god Sophie be a fucking grown up and fix your shit. Just don’t walk away like a goddamn coward.” His words hurt me, right down to the fucking bone, but I don’t stop walking. I let a tear fall down my face as I make my way back to Mar and Paige, but wipe it away before they can see it.
“Fuck,” I mumble to myself when I realize that I have forgotten the shots when I find my way to the end closest to the table that we have. I order five tequila shots; taking two of them before I even leave the bar.
Chapter Fifteen
The last thing I remember about last night is taking the shots at the table after Austin yelled at me, but this morning I am too terrified about getting out of the bed that I am laying in because I have never been in this room. I have no idea where I am or who I left the bar with last night all I can gather is that I don’t know where I am and that I am naked. My thoughts think about Austin and if he had to witness me with someone else, but I quickly block them when I remember the woman on his balcony last night. I pull myself out of the bed, finding my clothes lying on the floor and pulling them on. I slowly crack the door open when I hear Paige’s voice coming from the other room, at least she is here with me. When I emerge from the bedroom she smiles at me and I notice that she is on the phone. I look around confused when I notice that there isn’t anyone else here. It’s just the two of us and there are boxes everywhere. I instantly realize where I am. This is Paige’s new house… or apartment. I’m not sure. She hangs up the phone and smile at me again.
“Like the new place?” she asks me.
“Sure, had I not woken up after being black out drunk last night, never being here and being naked.” She laughs.
“Well, you started throwing up last night, before we left the bar, and then decided that you didn’t want to sleep in your clothes. You actually started undressing before we got out of the cab.” She tells me smiling, but it doesn’t really surprise me. I tend to do things like this when I’ve been drinking.
“Yeah, I tend to do that when I get drunk enough to throw up. Did I really undress in the cab?” I’m slightly embarrassed.
“You forget, I know this already, and yes you did, in fact we didn’t even have to pay to get home.” She laughs as I shake my head. Why do I continue to drink when I know that this is how I act?
“Where’s Mar?” I ask her.
“She is still passed out in the other room.” I laugh wondering how drunk she got last night, “So, do you remember kissing that guy right in front of Austin just to piss him off?”
“Nope, and I wish it was left that way.” She laughs at me again.
“Well, get ready because we have a meeting at the firm on Monday about the party this weekend.”
“Crap, did we get everything taken care of for that?” I ask her, honestly, not knowing.
“Yes, everything is ready we just have to set everything up on Saturday morning.”
“Sounds good, now what do we need to do this weekend?” I say walking around and admiring her apartment just blocks away from my sister’s house, but farther away from him. I need to be away from him.
“You know that I have known you long enough to know what you are thinking.” She says, smiling at me.
“Oh really, what am I thinking?” I challenge her.
“That you want to move in this weekend.”
“You want me to live with you?” I ask her pretending that it was her idea.
“I would love for you to, on one condition.”
“What’s that?”
“You have to admit that you were thinking it before I said anything.”
“Alright, I was already thinking it.” I finally confess.
“What are you two talking about?’ Mar asks walking into the room, holding her head, clearly hung over.
“About me moving out of your house,”
“Awe, but I like having you there,” She pauses and sort of smiles, “But I understand why.”
We get out of the house a few hours later and head back to Mar’s. When we pass by Austin’s house I can’t help but look. I see a car that is not his sitting in the driveway and my heart sinks. I hate to think of a girl with him right now.
“Did he?” I trail off knowing that they will know exactly what I am trying to ask.
“No, he was dancing with some girl last night, but after he saw you kissing that guy he got pissed, yelled at her to leave him the fuck alone, and then stormed out.” Paige tells me and my heart sinks even further because I caused him any sort of heartache.
Two days later we pass by his house again as we are getting a few things from my sister’s house when I notice a for sale sign out in the front yard, “Mar, how long has that sign been out there?” I ask.
“Don’t worry about it, Soph.” She says to me, patting my leg
“No, tell me.” I demand.
“Soph,” she turns and looks at me in the car, “Just let it go.” I slump in my seat.
That night Mar has a party at her house, celebrating… I’m not sure what. Probably just trying to get my mind off of things. After a few bottles of Tequila are drowned I find myself outside of the house and my mind is wondering. Before I can make myself leave I realize where I am… only too late. I notice that I am standing in front of Austin’s back door banging on the door when the door is snatched open.
“What do you want?” he glares at me. It looks as if he has been sleeping.
“You’re moving?” I ask him, it’s clear in my drunken voice that I am sad.
“Yes, but that’s not any of your business anymore.” He says using my own words against me.
“Why?” I ask wounded.
“Because I can, Soph.” he stops cutting his eyes at me as they soften.
“Is it because of me, because you know I’m moving out of Mar’s house?” I say with a weighted heart. Apparently this night I am extremely nice.
“Where are you moving to?” he asks me, curious.
“In with Paige,” I press my lips into a hard line. He lightens slightly.
“I’m moving to New York.” I gasp.
“Why?” I want to cry.
“Because my dad wants a firm there and he is sending me to oversee it.” I lunge at him smashing my lips to his and he gasps, “Soph, you’re drunk.” But I don’t let him stop, I press them harder into him, pulling my body in to his, and he finally gives in as he wraps his muscular arms around my small curvy frame.
With one motion he picks me up and places my ass on the counter in the kitchen and presses his body into mine, he knows as well as I do that this will be something that will never happen again, only this time each of us can enjoy it and remember it just the way that it is meant to be.
I watch his face as he kisses down my neck and then picks me back up carrying me up the stairs to his room. I feel my back push into the mattress and his bodyweight over me and his lips trail my body one last time.
“Austin, wait. This-,” I trail off not wanting to say the last words.
“I know, it ends here, tonight.”
He says right before he pulls at my dress.
“Let’s make this last all night.” He smiles at me and I have to laugh at his Tom Petty reference.
He slows his pace as he looks up to my eyes. “Sophie, what happened here?” he asks as I look down to my arms.
“That’s what happened in Boston.” And his eyes fall as he lets his mouth linger over the handprints on my arms and he kisses them. He brings his face back up to my eyes as he kisses me again and lets his hands dip in under my the hem of my dress and slides his hand between my thighs. I can’t help but moan when he rubs the pad of his thumb against me. He smiles as I turn him onto his back and push him against the bed knelling above him. I slide the sweatpants down to his ankles and take him into my hand as I being to gentle massage him, he moans out as he pulls my head up to meet his face
. He tugs at my dress until it is lying on the floor next to the bed. I pull my face away from his and let my head fall, positioning myself just right to take him into my mouth. He gasps and I feel him grab a hold of the sheets. I figure if this is going to be the last night, I will give him something amazing to remember me by. I run my tongue up his length and I am lifted up and put underneath him.
“Did you not like it?” I ask him for some reason ashamed of what I was doing, that I was doing it poorly.
“Oh, god no, baby. But if this is the last time I want to remember being able to make love to you.” he tells me as he reaches around my back and unclips my bra. Trailing kisses down my chest until he takes it in his mouth and flicks the nipple with his tongue. He slides his hand down underneath my panties and begin to rub me once more; I can’t help myself as I wrap my hands around him and begin to rub.
“Oh, Soph, I can’t take that. I’m trying to make this good for you and if you keep doing that I won’t be able to last.” He says as he pulls away and then reaches down nearly ripping off my panties. He positions himself between my knees as he leans over me and kisses my mouth once, twice, three times until we are making out again and I feel him slide into me. I open my eyes looking up to him as he is looking back down to me. As much as I don’t want to, I love this man.
He doesn’t rush it, but he takes his time, and his rhythm is slow as he moves in and out with each motion making sure I am enjoying myself as much as he is. I feel my insides beginning to grow and I can see that he can tell as he leans over into my ear and whispers, “Oh, Soph,” he says over and over again as we lock eyes once again, but this time I cannot break the contact. I cannot look away; I can see the love that he holds for me. I know that he can see the amount of love that I hold for him. His eyes grow wider as I know that he is getting ready to climax and I finally let myself release around him and it’s all that he needs for the finish. When we finish he doesn’t move and I know that I don’t want him to. We just stare into one another’s eyes for far too long.
“Austin,” I say not being able to control my mouth.
“Don’t Soph, I know.” He says and in his eyes I know that he knows I was going to tell him that I love him, and he couldn’t hear it. He finally slides off of me as he gets up and walks to the bathroom. I stand as I walk towards the door that faces the beach and look out onto the spectacular full moon that is shining onto the water. I feel his hands on my arms as I turn around to look at him. I’m not nearly as drunk as the first time that I kissed him when I got here. “Come lay down with me?” he asks me. “I just want one more night with you in my arms.” There is no way I would ever be able to pass that up.
Chapter Sixteen
I wake only a few hours later before the sun has fully risen, and when I look at Austin my heart breaks for him, for us, for this beautiful thing that has broken apart, even if I wanted to make this work and see past what he did do, I’m not even sure exactly now what it is I heard, but even if I wanted to I can’t because he will be leaving soon. I know if I am here when he wakes up it will be harder for both of us, and we will feel the need to explain. I get dressed quickly and close his back door behind me as I decide to walk to the apartment. I let myself cry the whole walk back taking as much time as I need. When I finally make it to the complex I take the elevator up leaning back against with the tears still slowing down my cheeks. When it dings I empty myself out of the car and walk to the door. I close the front door and lean against it as Paige comes running out of her room on the phone.
“She’s here.” She says into the receiver and I can only imagine that she is talking to Mar on the phone, again with the weird twin ESP, “She’s crying but looks fine, Soph, are you alright?” I look up to her and try to smile and give her thumbs up.
“Physically… yes.” She sighs telling Mar and then hangs up the phone. “What’s wrong love?”
“He’s moving to New York.” And I let myself fall apart again.
The meeting that morning goes smoothly mostly because Austin isn’t there, they inform us that he is already in New York and will only be back for the party, which is in his honor of making partner. Apparently the deal was in the works before we met, he just didn’t have the nerve to tell me that he was going to be leaving soon. It hurts my heart to think that we were always doomed with an expiration date.
The day of the party is on us and we are hurrying around setting everything up around the facility when I get the first glimpse of him. He walks through the door and looks up to me standing on a ladder and smiles a strained smile at me. He can manage to melt my heart even with a simple, fake smile. I have to remind myself why I am mad at him, which had managed to resurface the days that we have been apart.
I climb down from my ladder and walk outside to get some air.
“Soph, are you alright?” I hear Paige come up behind me and ask.
“Yeah, it’s just hard to be in the room with him. He still has that effect on me.”
“I understand,” I fell so ridiculous because I am being this way over a guy that I have only known for three months, but there’s just something. And I feel like I have known him for my entire life.
“I’ll be fine, just give me a minute.” I say as I look out across the beach to the water. She smiles at me and then walks back inside.
“I want you to know,” I hear the voices talking to one another from the hallways behind me, “As much as I like her I am glad that you two spilt up, I didn’t think you were going to go through with the New York office otherwise.”
“I wasn’t going to.” I hear Austin tell his father, and now I know why he never told me. He was never planning on going.
“You were going to throw everything away for a girl?” His dad says to him.
“She just wasn’t some girl dad. She is the one.”
“Well you are sure giving up on her quickly.”
“I’m not giving up dad; I’m just giving her what she wants. If we are supposed to be together fate will find a way.”
“For someone who led a life like you did for so long, you sure seem to all of a sudden believe in fate.”
“I always believed in fate dad. I always wanted that happily ever after. I still want it. I’m still changed and I don’t see myself going back to the way I was.”
“We’ll see about that, the girls in New York are hard to resist.”
“They might be, but they’re not Sophie.” I force myself to sit down before I fall over.
“You’re ridiculous son,” his dad says and I see him flash past the door as he storms away. I watch as Austin follows behind him, but right before he walks completely past he looks at me and presses his lips into a firm line. He knows that I just heard everything that they said.
The party starts at exactly seven and everyone is in attendance. I watch as Jack talks about his son as if he actually likes him. I remember back to the day that I met Jack and remember him not saying a single good thing about his son and my heart goes out for Austin. Everyone claps as they call Austin’s name and he gets up and begins to walk up the stairs to the stage. He stops before he reaches the top and looks around; his eyes landing on me. He shakes his head and turns around completely walking back down the stairs. Excusing himself through the room until he leaves it and I hear the mummers around the room. I look at Paige and she motions for me to go and follow him. I hurry through the room and follow the sounds of closing doors out of the building and I see him walking up to his car.
“Austin, what are you doing?” I shout at him across a parking lot once again.
“Go back inside, Soph,” he says not even turning around.
“No, you are making partner younger than most people.”
“And I should be happy about that?” He turns around looking at me.
“Sure, isn’t that every lawyers dream?”
“Sure, if your dream is to be a lawyer,” he pauses and walks closer to me, “You were the one who told me to do what I love.”
“
But you can’t go all this way and then back down. What will you do?”
“Why do you care?” he bits out at me.
“Because I do,” The words are supposed to tell him that I still care for him.
“Then tell me, why did you leave?”
“I heard you talking to Becky on the phone that night.”
“Jesus and you thought I was trying to pull one over on you. Why didn’t you just fucking talk to me?” I can tell that he is getting really mad. I shrug my shoulders. “You’re unbelievable. I was trying to get her to testify against Joe, and had you actually asked me I would have told you that. Did you even realize that she dropped the fucking charges? Don’t worry, you will still get paid for the event.” He doesn’t even give me time to answer before he jumps into his car and speeds away. Damn him and using my own words against me. I let myself slouch into the parking lot and cry. I don’t watch him leave the parking lot, and leave my life… I’m pretty sure forever.
Chapter Seventeen
Mar tells me a few days later that she talked to Austin’s realtor and that he had decided to stay in New York. I let myself muddle in my own self-pity for too many nights and during the day we are filled with many events, after how well, minus Austin leaving the event that was thrown for him, the event did really well and we managed to get several more lined up.
Two weeks after Austin left, at an after party for one of the bars that we managed an event for I met Seth, who was the complete opposite from Austin.
Four weeks after Austin left.
My phone rings while I am just finishing my makeup.
“Hey,” I say into the receiver.
“Hey, are you almost ready?”
“Yeah,” I tell him and hang up. We have been going out for a couple weeks and he was nice, but there was just something about how I couldn’t get over Austin, it was as if he was embedded into my brain. To forever follow me around.
Fated Page 11
