by Wendy Silk
“Hey, I’d like to do that, but I’m not here in town because of you,” I protested. “I had no idea you lived here. I only just came to Whidbey Island a few weeks ago, following berry picking work. You don’t need to act like I’m weird enough that I’d follow you across several states.”
I would have done exactly that, if I’d known where she was. I would have followed her anywhere in my dreams, at least. I knew perfectly well that in reality, I hadn’t even been able to make the decision to enter the bar where she used to work.
She made an indignant face at me. “It’s a little unlikely that you just turned up here, isn’t it? Anyway, what’s with the berry picking? I thought you were in construction. Did that change?”
Aha. She did remember me. I could feel a grin spreading across my face as I pondered what that meant. Had she been thinking of me all this time, just as I’d been rewinding the memory of our night together through my head?
Somehow, she knew exactly what I was thinking. “Hey Tim, hello. I remembered that you were in construction because I just saw you working over at Donna’s house. So I guess you’re still doing that?” She sounded encouraging, but I was starting to feel like there was something prickly between us.
I could feel my face fall. “Of course, you just saw me there. And at the hotel too. Those are my two jobs right now. The berry picking was just a stopgap kind of thing, after I left Texas. But it’s what brought me up here. I’d never been in this part of the country before, and I have to say that it’s beautiful.”
We had walked the three short blocks between the corner store and Donna’s daycare. I had already trod this route several times since I’d gotten the job putting up the cubbies and shelves in Donna’s front room. This time, I was following Cici’s lead, but I didn’t understand why we’d ended up here.
She stopped at the house next door to Donna’s, a charming two-story house on a massive lot. “So here we are, Tim,” she said with determined cheerfulness. “This is my house.”
“Oh, that makes sense. That’s why I saw you at Donna’s; you two are neighbors. I really like her. She runs a good place for those kids. They always look happy when they come in, and she plays with them all day long.” I was rambling, I could tell.
Cici was standing at her gate, with no apparent intention of inviting me in. As she waited for me to stop rattling on about her neighbor, she balanced her box of supplies on her white picket fence. Without warning, something shifted inside the box and overbalanced the whole thing. She dove after it as it dropped over to the other side and landed in a garden bed.
“Damn it,” she muttered, unlatching the gate and bending down into the dirt to retrieve her display materials.
I couldn’t help but get down next to her to gather the brochures and business cards into the big box. As I leaned across to catch some of the flyers that were about to scuttle away in the breeze, my arm brushed across the back of her neck. It was electrifying. The jolt of energy that passed between us made me hold my breath for a moment. Had she felt it?
All I could do was ask. If she said ‘no,’ then fine. But what if she said ‘yes?’
I gathered my nerve and put my hand on hers. “Cici. I feel like maybe we never finished getting to know each other back in Texas. Do you want to come out with me on a hike today? Nothing serious. We could just walk and talk, you know?”
Her gaze moved from my face to my hand over hers in the garden soil. The corners of her mouth turned upwards ever so slightly as she considered my suggestion. Then she answered.
“Yes.”
Chapter 12: Cici
I didn’t know what I was doing, agreeing to spend time with Tim. All I knew was that the idea made me feel lighter in my heart than I had felt in two years. Maybe just this once, I could do what felt right, instead of over-analyzing everything.
“Tim, give me just one minute to go inside and change into better shoes, ok?”
I left him out in the garden. It had never been a possibility for him to come in. If he did, he’d see all the toys in our house. I didn’t know where this was going, but I was in no way ready to explain Maggie to him. That was going to be the hardest conversation I’d ever had. Just the thought of it terrified me.
As I pulled on my favorite, most comfortable sneakers, I called upstairs to Kelly.
“Kelly, are you here?” Then I realized that Tim might be able to hear me through the thin walls of my old house , so I sprinted up the old wooden staircase, past the window alcove where I always kept a vase of brightly colored flowers. The garden had been one of my dad’s favorite things in life, especially after he’d had to slow down so much after his first heart attack. When he’d had to stop working, and money got tight for us, gardening had been the thing that had kept him going. I didn’t have the skill or the time to keep the flower beds as nicely as he had, but now that it was summertime, there were always beautiful flowers ready to cut and bring inside.
Kelly answered me from her room. “Yeah, I’m here. What’s up? How was the stock at Kemble’s?”
“Oh, that was fine,” I answered. “You know how he is. He acted like he wasn’t sure if he wanted to keep ordering the cookies, but I think he’s going to cave and add a few more things soon. He’s got some customers buying them, that’s for sure.” I felt the telltale heat prickle on my neck as I realized that one of the biggest customers seemed to be the man I’d slept with two years ago. I’d thought of him so many times while I was alone in my bed that it was hard to believe it had been that long since his arms had been around me in real life.
I had to keep reminding myself: the reason he seemed so familiar to me now was that the most important person in my life was his daughter. There was no way I was going to lose custody of her to a stranger, no matter how weak in the knees I felt at the memory of his touch.
So why was I going out with him?
I shook my head at my indecision. I’d decided, and I was going. That was that.
Kelly was sitting on her bed, brushing her hair. Her sock-clad feet were on the coverlet, resting on the edges of her book, holding it open. She was multitasking, as usual. Right now, though, she was staring at me as if she could see into my mind.
“What in the world has got you looking like that? Cici, I swear, you’ve been working too hard. I keep catching you in these moments of crazy distraction. You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
“No, I don’t,” I said blandly. It wasn’t much of a defense, but it was all I could think of to say to her. “Can I ask you for a favor? I just realized I need to do something in town, and it’s going to take me another hour. Would you go next door and pick up Maggie? I meant to get her right now, but I have to run.”
Kelly wasn’t interested in grilling me if I didn’t want to answer. “OK, sure. I’m done reading anyway, and I have to test a recipe. Mags can sit in her high chair and throw wooden spoons down onto the floor.”
Relief washed over me. “Thanks, Kelly. You’re a lifesaver.” I dashed forward and hugged her, earning a look of surprise.
“It’s no big deal,” she laughed, but I was already halfway down the stairs when I heard her. The most important part of this plan was going to be getting Tim out of the way before Kelly walked out of Donna’s house carrying my darling miniature version of him.
When I stepped out into the sunshine, Tim was relaxing on the garden bench that my dad had put under the magnolia tree. I didn’t know how it had lasted all these years, and through the parade of renters that had occupied this house while I was away, but it was still there. That stone bench was like a message to me from my father. I’d noticed it right away when Kelly and Maggie and I drove up to the house after leaving Texas. It was as if he was saying that he was still there with me.
Now, though, I had to get Tim to stand up, and he didn’t look eager to do so. He patted the bench, inviting me to sit next to him.
“Cici, I was looking at these flyers while you were inside. This is really something. You two have put tog
ether an impressive catering business.”
I couldn’t help it. I loved praise. “Thanks. It’s been a lot of hard work, and it’s taken some time to learn how to juggle...how to work out the responsibilities between us. But you know we saved every penny we could when we were waitressing, and this was always our goal. It feels good to be doing it.”
Tim nodded. “I know what you mean. Getting the job maintaining the hotel has been a dream come true for me. That building is like nothing else. Do you know the place well?”
I stood, waving for him to come with me. “I grew up here. Did I not tell you that at the shop? That’s why I’m here. This is the house my family had when I was a kid. I inherited it.”
As we walked down the path to the gate, his eyes traveled over the expansive garden and the tall trees behind the house. “Wow. You are full of surprises, aren’t you? So this all belongs to you now?”
I straightened my shoulders and led him through the gate. “Yep. This is my life now. I left all the rest of it back in Texas. Now I’m ready for the real stuff.” After the words were out of my mouth, I wondered if he’d think I’d meant them as a dig at him.
He wasn’t offended, though. He grinned at me and said, “I know what you mean. It’s a new place and a new life for me, too.”
We strolled through the neighborhood toward the ridge where the hotel perched. The summer scents of flowers and freshly cut grass wafted down every street, reminding me of the years I’d spent in this town. By the time we reached the network of trails that were part of the hotel grounds, I was already running out of time.
“Tim, I know I promised to hike up here with you, but I think I’m going to have to call it a day in just a few minutes. I promised Kelly I’d be back soon to help her with some stuff.”
We’d made it past the signs that the Bedloe family had posted, inviting all visitors to stroll the trails, but we hadn’t yet ascended high enough into the woods to see the water. The dappled woods were so familiar to me. I’d run down these paths with my sister Margaret for years. Why hadn’t I taken Maggie here yet?
Tim turned to me as we entered a small clearing. He gently took my hand, holding it lightly, as if asking if I’d let him. He didn’t know that there was nothing in the world that could have made me push him away right then. My muscles were warm from our walk and my body was ready to melt into his. He didn’t press his advantage, though. He stayed back, touching me only on my hand.
“Cici, I want to say that I’m sorry. I know I told you that I’d come to see you that night. You know what I mean?” He was gruff.
“Of course I know. I waited for you for a long time after that.”
Tim gave me a long look. “I can’t tell you yet why I couldn’t be there. It wasn’t anything to do with the two of us. I wish I could say more, but it’s just not the right time. All I can say is that I would have been there if I could. Do you believe me?”
I nodded silently. He was here now.
Then, without either of us seeming to move at all, we were pressing against each other so tightly that I wasn’t sure where my body stopped and his began. He entwined his fingers in my hair and leaned forward to kiss my lips so tenderly that I gasped. Then the whirlwind of feeling that was between us took over, and I couldn’t breathe enough to say a single word. His hands were everywhere on me. He pulled my ass closer to his, leaning back against a smooth birch tree and drawing me to him. His lips traveled down my neck and across my earlobe.
I could feel my defenses dissolving like whipped cream on hot coffee. My nipples were two hard pebbles pressing against my shirt. I wanted Tim so much that it was as if the two years since we had been together had never happened. They had only served to make my flesh want his more than ever.
There had been nobody for me since Maggie was born. Kelly joked with me that I needed to get out and date, that I was putting too much of myself into being a parent. But she didn’t know what it was like. It never felt possible that I could be too focused on Maggie. She was my life. Now, though, I saw why I had felt that way. I knew that I had been avoiding even considering another partner when Tim was still the only one I wanted.
“Cici, I want to be with you,” he whispered. “Not here, not like this. I want us to build something real together.” Then he laughed lightly. “Well, maybe here, like this, too.”
I lifted my chin so my eyes met his. When I saw the light in his blue eyes, and my heart thrummed to the familiarity of them, I had to smile back. “No, I agree. Let’s do it right this time. Let’s take it slower. Whatever’s between us is still the same, no matter how long it’s been. It means something to me, you know.”
He quirked an eyebrow at me. “Just something?” Once again, his muscular arms encircled me. He drew me close and spoke into my ear. “It means everything to me. This is just as right for us as it was back then. Only this time, we won’t let anything happen to keep us apart.”
Our hands fell naturally together as we moved with silent accord back down the trail, heading toward town. With our fingers interlaced, I felt like I was out on a summer walk with my boyfriend. It was almost working for me. I was almost able to pretend we’d solved everything between us.
But I still didn’t know why he’d disappeared before.
And he didn’t know what had happened to me afterwards.
How did we think we were going to pull this off?
Chapter 13: Tim
I was prouder of Cici than I could find words to say. She and her friend had made a real difference in their lives, saving their money and following their dream. I admired her persistence in going after what she wanted. If only Aaron and I had been able to do with our construction business what Cici was doing with Wildflower Catering. It still rankled with me that I’d trusted him with my own career plans, just because he’d been an old friend. It might be that new friends were exactly what I’d needed. When I’d come up here to the Pacific Northwest, I’d thought I was just following the work that I could do. But it turned out that I was building a new life for myself here.
“Hey, Texas guy!” I jumped as Jorge came up behind me, surprisingly silent on the blacktop of the back parking lot. Near the loading dock where Grant had hired me to work at the hotel was the work shed where I now spent my mornings. Dry summer afternoons were for working on the exterior of the hotel, but the chilly dew of the early part of the day was for repairing what I could under the cover of the workroom.
“Jorge, why do you always have to sneak up me like that?” I turned around to see him carrying a few more wooden window screens. “Good, that’s just what I need. Seriously, I was just sitting here thinking that working with friends is the way to go, but only if they want to work, too.”
Jorge snorted. “Want to work? Who the hell doesn’t want to work? The world isn’t going to put money in our bank accounts just for sitting around. Man, I can’t tell you how glad I was to see you drive up in that truck last week and tell me I didn’t have to pick berries for Davis anymore.”
“Yeah, Davis,” I sighed. “He was pretty pissed off at me for leaving him to take this job. It didn’t make him any happier when I poached you too.”
“Well, he was a crappy boss.” Jorge set his window screens down on the work table and started to head back out through the wide set of doors. He paused to look back at me. “Listen, don’t let your conscience bother you about that. He was taking advantage of all the berry pickers. You know that.”
“I do, you’re right,” I answered. “So when Grant asked me if I knew if another work hand to come out here to the hotel, somebody who was reliable, I thought of you. I’d rather work with you than with a stranger who doesn’t know how good he’s got it, that’s for sure.”
“Hey, buddy, I know when I’ve got a lucky thing going on. You did me a favor in recommending me, and I’m not about to waste that opportunity. Thanks, man.” Jorge grinned at me and made an exaggerated bow.
“Oh, shut up,” I said. “If you can go get that last screen door f
rom the west side, then we’ll stop and break for lunch after that, ok?”
He was right, I realized after he left. Neither of us was about to waste a good opportunity. I didn’t have to keep thinking about Aaron. His loser ways weren’t an accurate reflection on how anybody else would behave.
When I finished replacing the spline and tacking in the new mesh on the last window screen in my pile, I noticed that more time had passed than I realized. I wiped my dusty hands off on my jeans and figured I’d go looking for Jorge to see if he needed a hand with removing the screen door. I stepped out into the bright sunlight and loped across the parking lot. It was going to be a good day. I could tell about these things. By the time I turned the corner of the hotel, I was humming under my breath.
I thought I’d see Jorge struggling with some old hardware. I’d brought the kit for stripped screws that I used on almost a daily basis out here, in case that was the reason for the delay. Instead, I saw him in the parking lot, helping Kelly clean up what looked like a disaster of epic proportions. Several trays of food were spread in a wide pattern on the concrete next to her car, with everything that used to be edible now dirty or broken, or both.
Kelly was on the ground, putting muffins into a trash bag. She looked close to tears. No, I saw, as I got closer. She was actually crying.
“Kelly, what happened? Can I help?” I joined Jorge in the messy job of trying to collect mashed food from the ground. There was really nothing salvageable that I could see.
When she lifted her face to mine, I saw that she wasn’t crying from sadness, or even frustration. She was livid. “Tim, right? Does this guy work with you?” She motioned angrily at Jorge.
