All that he saw was the one woman he wasn't supposed to have, and he remembered within seconds all that she meant to him. All that he was supposed to forget, all that he was supposed to leave alone.
"Trina!" He caught up with her at the fountain with the display of mermaids, and managed to take hold of her arm.
Tears were streaming down her face, which was just as beautiful as he remembered. Brad looked at her and thought, everything about her was the same.
Except...
Except her eyes. Instead of love her eyes were full of contempt, anger, and...
Hate.
He deserved that. He did, and he expected nothing less Especially with the way that he left her.
"Let go of me," she cried. Her voice overflowed with anguish as if she were in intense pain.
"Trina please let me explain." Realistically he shouldn't say anything because any form of explanation would break the promise he made to her father. But he couldn't bare the distress he saw in her eyes.
"No. I don't want to hear it." Her glare burned through him.
People around them were looking now, curious to see what was going on.
"Trina please let me explain."
She answered him by raising her free hand and landing it across his face in a slap that drew even more attention. At that moment he released her.
"You bastard." Her brown eyes darkened as he held her gaze. "Stay the hell away from me. Stay away," she could barely manage to talk through the wave of tears that overtook her.
Her large brown eyes widened, and she turned around to continue her escape into the night. Light brown hair blowing behind her like a cape, flowing out against the wind.
"What the hell was that about?" Neil came up behind him. Jennifer in tow with her friends.
"How do you know Trina?" Jennifer asked looking confused. Worry filled her usually bright blue eyes.
Brad couldn't answer. He didn't know what to say.
"Brad," Neil prodded.
"I have to go." That was all he could manage. They were about to say something else, but he moved away before they could. He couldn't deal with any form of questions. Not right now.
Back in his room he made his way out to the private terrace and sat near the row of palm trees that led down the path and continued on to the beach.
He allowed the cool night air, with the slight hint of salt, to soothe his mind.
He couldn't believe he'd seen Trina. Couldn't believe the complete coincidence of it all and he didn't know what to do.
He'd known Neil and Jennifer for about eight years. Six of those years were spent working with Neil at Micronet Software. Brad left Chicago two years ago to start his own company in Los Angeles, but still kept in touch every chance he got.
Neil had told him about Jennifer’s bridesmaids and actually pointed Trina out as the woman he’d been trying to introduce him to for years.
How the fuck was he supposed to know that it was his Trina. She was Jennifer’s best friend.
Neil had been trying indeed to arrange something for years but every time something got in the way, or some emergency happened to stop them from meeting. The whole coincidence was ridiculous. How was this all even possible?
His face felt hot from the thoughts that swirled through his mind, and the agony he’d suppressed for years.
The last time he saw her was eleven years ago. She was eighteen and he was twenty. They were sitting by the river near her farm house talking about Christmas, and how they were going to plan their meetings when she went off to college. It was a beautiful day. One filled with hope, happiness and love. Then things all changed the very next day because he fucked it all up.
Him. Yes, it was his fault. All his fault, because he was a narrow-minded idiot who couldn’t see his way around stealing shit and living a life as a fucking thief.
Brad had never taken anything seriously in his life, until the day he promised Trina's father, Jim McBride, that he'd leave his daughter alone and never see her again.
The thought still made him feel physically sick from the abandonment, the loss the pain. And, he still couldn’t believe that he really did it.
When he looked back he always remembered how much he loved her. That was something he’d never, ever forgotten. The thought that he’d agreed to leave her was still alien to him.
Eleven Years ago…
Thank God Jim was here. The sheriff and his deputy were really starting to piss him off.
Sure, Brad knew he’d become more like a part of the furniture in this place, spending more time in police custody than at home. He even had his own cell, but tonight was different. Tonight’s heist was about Trina, and after this he wasn’t going to do this shit anymore. He couldn’t if they were going to get married.
He’d take her away. Maybe to the city where he could get a real job while she went to college. Then they’d get a nice place by the river. She loved the river.
Jim did not look happy. In fact, he looked furious.
He was a burly man with scraggly hair and had that Paul Bunyan look, so when he was mad his wrath was very much pronounced.
Trina was a complete contrast to him, and people always found it hard to believe that Jim was her father. Even Brad still thought so after years of knowing them. They’d moved into town when he was seven. Trina was five at the time.
He thought she looked like a Disney princess with her large autumn colored eyes and light brown hair that flowed all the way down to her waist. She was the prettiest girl he'd ever seen. Later when she grew up, that beauty captivated him and his love for her had only grown. She loved him too. He knew she did, but it wasn't enough to keep him out of trouble.
By the time he was sixteen, his parents had ditched him, and Brad had been to jail at least twenty times and spent countless times in juvenile detention. The last six months of the last sentence was spent in prison because by then he was over eighteen. That experience was enough to terrify him, but not enough to change him.
Brad had been terrible. He loved stealing things, probably because he didn't have anything when he was growing up.
Jim had always bailed him out, always. The man had taken him under his wings right from the word go, saving Brad from his demonic parents. But this time he really looked mad.
Brad was hoping he’d understand when he filled him in on what he’d planned to do. Brad and Trina had been dating forever. He was twenty years old and he’d been thinking ahead to the future. Part of that was making sure she got the best of everything. Tonight he robbed a jewelry store. Not the whole store which he could have done easily with the shit security the place had.
Tonight, Brad was only in search of one item. Just one, and it meant more to him than the cars he'd stolen previously or any other item of value.
Tonight, Brad stole an engagement ring. Him with his crazy self was going to ask Trina to marry him. But, he had it all figured out. She'd gotten accepted at Stanford to study medicine, and he thought he'd give her something to show how much he loved her. Then he’d take things from there.
He’d found the perfect ring that was delicate and beautiful, just like her. The problem was he couldn’t afford it. There was no way he would have been able to afford it in his lifetime and definitely not on the salary Jim paid him to help out on the farm. So, he stole it.
However, like all the other times he stole he got caught. He’d always given what he stole back but he couldn’t give the ring back. He told the police he lost it in the scuffle to arrest him, but really he hid it. It was buried in a thicket of grass in his backyard. Maybe it was what it signified for him. He'd stolen it, but it still felt like it belonged to him, like it should belong to Trina.
From the look of Jim, Brad knew he was going to get a big telling off. He also suspected the old man would give him the usual pep talk about life that normally followed too.
He smacked Brad upside his head the minute he stepped out of the cell and shoved him forward.
If that was an
yone else Brad would have taken them down, but not Jim. Besides, he was sure that Jim could have taken him out with one hit if he wanted. They were the same height, but Jim was massive with serious lumberjack muscle.
They were silent on the drive back. That by itself was highly unusual. It should have given Brad a heads up that things weren’t going to go as he expected.
The dead giveaway was that Jim drove him back to his farm house instead of taking him home.
Brad followed him into the stables and was about to ask what was going on when Jim landed a fist in his face.
"You selfish son of a bitch," Jim yelled. Brad had never seen him look so angry. Never in all the time that he'd known him, and he'd never hit him either.
He picked Brad up off the ground, grabbing him by his shoulders and threw him so hard against the wall the wood cracked. By then Brad's nose was bleeding, and his back felt like it had detached from his body.
"Jim I'm sorry. Why don't you take the bail money out of my pay like you usually do?" Brad told him.
Jim shook his head at him and laughed a rough, cynical laugh. "Brad you really are dumber than you look."
Brad simply stared back at him in shock. Jim had never spoken to him like that before either.
"Do you know how much money you cost me boy?" Jim's eyes grew wide. Then he shook his head. "That's not even the point. Brad, you stole an engagement ring. Please tell me you stole it to sell, or have it melted down for fillings. Either one of those will do."
His first thoughts were that Jim didn't think Brad should be thinking about marriage now because he was still so young, and Trina was only eighteen. Brad had preempted that and he had an answer ready.
"Brad!" Jim's nostrils flared.
"I stole it to give it to Trina, sir." Dark dread washed over him as he watched Jim's expression. "I'm going to ask her to marry me."
"No, you aren't. You damn well aren't. Not you," Jim replied to Brad’s complete surprise and shook his head.
His body tensed in response to Jim's demeanor. Brad had always been with Trina. They grew up together and shared everything. Marriage would be the natural progression of their relationship. He thought it was a given and should come as no surprise.
"Why?" He couldn’t hide the sorrow and hurt he felt.
"Boy, are you kidding me? Brad, is that a question I'm actually supposed to answer? I just bailed you out of jail for stealing a ring you were planning to give my baby girl."
"I love her," Brad tried but to no avail. Jim's face still looked rigid and firm in his decision.
"I don't doubt that one bit, but what kind of life do you hope to give her? You're a no good thief."
"I'll change. This was going to be the last time." Brad nodded firmly, determined more than ever to stop stealing and change for Trina. "I promise I will change. No more stealing, no more anything. Please give me a chance. I don't know what I'll do without her."
Jim shook his head. "No. You should have thought of that before. And, the fact that you thought it was okay to give her a stolen ring says it all. You can't change Brad. I have begged you over the years to try but look at you. You're still the same. And that is why you can't ask her. I'll be damned if I'm going to let my little girl end up with someone like you. She lost her mother when she was too young. I've been there for her ever since, and I know that the one person who can hurt her deeply is you. Every time you go to jail or get in trouble, Trina spends her days in her room crying. For you."
"I'm sorry." Shame weighed down on him heavily.
"Sorry doesn't change anything. Look… I'm going to be real with you because you need to understand." Jim straightened up.
Brad didn't know how much realer Jim could be. What he'd said up to that point pretty much summed it all up.
"I do understand, and I promise you I'll change. Please, Trina is the only person I care about." In all his time running around stealing and getting in trouble it never occurred to him that he could lose her. "I do love her."
Jim's face seemed to soften, and for one moment Brad thought he'd calm down and drop the anger.
"Brad, you're like a son to me. I know you love her, and if you were different, if you were a good person, I'd be happy to have you marry my girl. But you aren't, and I won't be around to fix things forever. Chances are I won't even see Christmas this year. So, I can't die knowing my little girl, who I love with all my soul, ended up with someone who will constantly let her down, and give her a life of disappointment."
His words were sinking in but Brad was stuck on what Jim said about not seeing Christmas.
"What do you mean you won't see Christmas?" Brad stared at the man who'd undeniably taken care of him like he was his son.
Jim sighed and ran his hand across his beard.
"I'm dying Brad. I have an inoperable brain tumor."
At that declaration, Brad felt the color drain from his face. "What? No."
"Yes. I've been having treatment for a year now, but it hasn't helped. Nothing will help me. It's pretty bad, and I don't think I'll see Christmas. The doctors don't think I will either."
Shocked was the only way Brad could describe how he felt. Shocked, and numb.
"Trina doesn't know,” Jim declared.
Brad stared at him more intensely, unable to believe that Jim hadn't told Trina something so important.
"Why wouldn't you tell her? She needs to know."
"No." Jim held up his hand. "She's going to Stanford, and she is so happy about that. She's going to be a doctor Brad. That's her dream, and she's going to work hard to make her dreams come true. I want her to be able to enjoy the happiness she feels now. I barely finished school, and no one in our family ever went to college. She's the first. She deserves everything good this world has to offer, and that's why she deserves more than you can give her. Promise me you won't ask her to marry you. Promise me that you'll leave her alone to pursue her dream and find happiness. Promise me you won't see her again."
Brad stared at him, feeling like his soul had been stripped from his body. How was he supposed to promise that?
What would his life be like without her?
His Trina?
She'd been in his life from as far back as he remembered and he didn't know if he could live without her.
"Please, Brad. This is my dying wish." Jim pleaded, his sad eyes held Brad still.
Brad hadn't cried much in his life. He'd had a tough upbringing, and a rough life but this, all of it made the backs of his eyes sting and a tear run down his cheek. It was the first time he’d felt sorrow and loss.
He thought of Trina, with her magical smile and beauty. His girl who was like an angel, did indeed deserve the best this world had to offer. He agreed with Jim, she deserved happiness. True happiness. If he loved her, how could he deny her of that?
"Alright," he agreed. He couldn't believe it. He actually agreed. Anguish stabbed him like a knife and twisted and turned inside him. He loved her so much. So, so much, but... Jim was right.
He thought Jim would look happy, but he actually didn't. Jim looked sad.
"Alright," Jim nodded.
Brad was supposed to see Trina tomorrow. He was going to ask her to marry him tomorrow. He had everything arranged to do it. He was going to take her to that new classy Italian restaurant she was completely taken with, and he was going to get the waiters to put the ring in her dessert. Like something from one of those girly films she watched all the time.
But Brad could see the truth of it all. The gesture was a good idea, but he planned to do all that with a stolen ring. Trina deserved more than that. She deserved better, and she deserved to be with someone who could give her better.
Not him.
"I don't know what to do." Brad's voice shook.
"You have to leave," Jim said barely meeting Brad's eyes.
Yes… Leave.
It was the only logical thing to do. There was no way he could stay in town after he broke up with her, or even go back to the farm. Leaving was
the best thing for both of them. Brad nodded.
"Thank you for everything. Thank you for being like a father to me." As Brad turned to go Jim stopped him.
"Wait, I'm not going to let you leave with nothing."
Jim opened the door to his truck and took out an envelope. He handed it to Brad.
"There's ten grand in there. Enough to keep you going. Have this too." He tossed him the keys to the truck. "Take the truck and head to Missouri. I have a cousin there who will put you up for as long as you need."
Brad was grateful for the kindness but didn't feel comfortable accepting.
"I can't take all this Jim. I'll find a way."
"Take it, please. Please." Jim nodded. "I want to make sure you can take care of yourself. Think of it as an advance."
Brad looked at the envelope, still not wanting to accept but decided he would. He figured maybe it would make Jim feel better.
"Thank you."
Jim nodded and gave him a hug. "I'm sorry things couldn't be different son. Take care of yourself, and stay out of trouble."
"I will," he replied numbly, giving an answer to both.
Brad got in the truck and drove away. As he went past the farm house, he looked at Trina's room, knowing she'd be inside. His soul screamed at him, willing him to say goodbye at the very least.
But he couldn’t.
He just left.
Chapter 3
Present Day….
Trina never got over Brad, she reflected with bitterness.
The days became more manageable as time went by but she'd never been able to mend that hole he left in her heart and that piece of her soul he'd ripped away when she realized he'd left her and wouldn't be coming back. He'd left her bereft and desolate, and without hope.
She was eighteen when she last saw him. She'd just gotten accepted into Stanford and was so happy. The happiness she felt made up for any depression she may have suffered when Brad had gotten himself in trouble.
He was happy for her too, and they talked about how they would arrange to see each other when she left. They loved each other so much that they didn't even concern themselves with the whole long distance problem most people worried about. She knew they'd always be together no matter where she was.
I Love You Again Page 2
