It was his own fault that his sister was dead.
Not entirely his fault. Others shared the blame, notably Wickham. But Darcy had dispatched that cur, and he had thought it would make it better somehow, but it didn’t. Couldn’t. Because Georgiana was never coming back and—
“Listen, Miss Bennet, is this the conversation you truly want to have at this moment? Yes, it so happens that I was careless with my fortune, and that I lost everything. It’s only some bit of ridiculous sentiment, a tiny shred of pride I have left that makes me want to do anything to endeavor to keep my family’s land. And I am willing to do whatever it takes to preserve that, as you can see. I have not blinked at the prospect of turning to piracy. So, if you think that makes me a blackguard and a villain, you are undoubtedly right. If you want any more proof that I don’t care a whit about stupid young chits like yourself, then look no further. I am tolerating your presence on this ship, that is all. Now, if you don’t mind, I’d like to continue our meal, and perhaps, this time, you could endeavor to be polite, as you were taught back home, and avoid topics that might cause your host to become angry.” He had delivered the entire speech in a breathless voice that grew louder with every sentence.
Miss Bennet slid down in her seat and studied her plate.
He picked his fork back up and shoveled some food into his mouth. It tasted like cardboard. He had quite lost his appetite. Oh, if only Miss Bennet knew how Georgiana’s death haunted him. If only she understood how it had led him down this path, the path where he was a pirate, stealing opium and smoking it in his cabin, doing whatever he could to drive away the pain.
He blamed himself.
It was that thought that had driven him nearly mad after it happened. He had thrown himself into drinking and carousing in London. But that sort of behavior almost always took him to gambling hells, and feeling as if he had nothing more to lose, he had chipped away at his fortune, one hand of cards or roll of the dice at a time.
First he lost the townhouse, but that was no matter. Lots of families rented one during the Season, so that was what he would do.
And then he lost the holdings in Scotland, but they still had the family home.
When he was signing pieces of that away, losing land left and right, he felt numb inside. And he would have continued until it was all gone if he hadn’t come home to Pemberley one day and realized that he had to preserve it, if only for Georgiana’s memory.
So, he had picked himself up and tried to fix it. But he was too far gone, there was nothing to fix. This plan of his was something he’d stumbled into after realizing he didn’t have enough capital to make investments the proper way. It was base and wicked, but he didn’t care.
“Why did you duel with that Wickerly man—Wickham, whatever his name was?” said Miss Bennet in a small voice.
He glared at her. “I thought I had made myself clear—”
“Oh, I don’t care,” she burst out. “There’s no point in being polite to you. If you decide to kill me, it won’t be because I’ve behaved badly. It will just be because of your awful whims. And I don’t like you, not at all.”
“You’ve made that clear,” he muttered.
“It’s only that everyone said that Mr. Wickham had something to do with your sister’s death, but I also heard that she was thrown from a horse, and I don’t see how a man causes a person to be thrown—”
“I find I’ve lost my appetite,” he growled. Abruptly, he stood up. “Both for food and for your company. So, I think it’s time to escort you back to your chamber.”
“My chamber? My prison, you mean?”
“Have a care, Miss Bennet. You’ve already made me angry this evening. I would not test my patience, if I were you.” He delivered this in a terrible voice, but the truth was that she had made him feel so guilty that there was little likelihood of his hurting her now or ever. It seemed now that too much weighed heavy on his conscience, and he had no desire to add to it.
* * *
She didn’t dine with Darcy for the next two days. Instead, food was brought to her, and she ate in her small room. She was also given a lamp and some books to read, so she was able to pass the time in better comfort than the first night. It was odd how the relative discomfort of that first night had set a new low, and now she was happy with such small favors.
Days passed, and she read through all of the books and then started through them again, because the boredom was eating at her. She was getting used to the smell of onions as well. She wondered how long she’d be stuck in this room, and she began to feel a little regretful that she had been so sharp with Darcy. Not because he didn’t deserve it—he did, but because leaving the room to have dinner with him again would be a break in the monotony of it all.
As it was, she only saw a man named Mackie every day when he came to bring her food, lamp oil, and to empty her chamberpot. He rarely said much to her, only that she was more trouble than she was worth and that the captain should probably go ahead and kill her. She didn’t much like Mackie, truth be told.
But one morning—at least she thought it was morning. It was always dark down in her room, and she stayed awake until she got sleepy and then slept until she woke, so she thought of the after-waking times as morning, but she truthfully didn’t know one way or the other.
One morning, Darcy arrived at her door. “Miss Bennet, I’ve come to talk to you about something,” he said.
She was glad to see him, she found, even though he was a terrible man who didn’t deserve her gratitude. She was going to go absolutely insane trapped in that room. “Oh?” she said, smiling at him.
“You’re in better spirits than the last time we spoke,” he said. “Perhaps being locked in your chamber agrees with you.”
She was locked in. She couldn’t get out. She’d tried. Mackie said it was for her own safety. “I’m simply glad to have someone to talk to is all.”
He nodded slowly, as if the thought had just occurred to him. “Yes, I can see how it might be dull for you in there. We’ll have to see about entertainment for you, I suppose.”
She kept smiling. “I should appreciate that, sir. I was beginning to think that your strategy was to keep me locked up for so long that I begged you to kill me.”
“Certainly, it’s not that bad in there, is it?”
“Have you ever been kept alone in a room for days on end?”
He furrowed his brow. “Well, Miss Bennet, I can’t have you running about the ship. It’s for your own safety. The men—”
“Are going to kill me at any time? Why would they do that?”
“Not kill you, Miss Bennet.”
“So, then, what?”
“Why rape you, of course. All of them, one right after the other.”
She bit down on her lip. She’d heard the word, of course, read it in books, even. She thought that it meant to steal something vital from a person, but she had to admit that she couldn’t be sure that was its proper meaning.
“You don’t know what that means, do you?” said Darcy.
“I know what it means.”
“You don’t look properly frightened.” He smiled at her grimly.
She swallowed. “Very well, then. What does it mean?”
“Well, they would take your virtue by force.”
“Oh,” she said, nodding. Virtue was something she must guard until her marriage bed, but she had to admit that she wasn’t sure exactly what that meant either.
He grimaced. “Lord save me from innocent virgins. Of course, you don’t know what that means either, do you?”
She squared her shoulders. She was feeling very uncomfortable.
He leaned close, his voice lowering. “Tell me, Miss Bennet, have you ever wondered exactly what the difference between men and women is?”
“I…”
“It’s between their legs,” he said, giving her a wicked smile. “The men on my ship would rip off your skirts, spread your thighs, and shove their cocks inside you, and it would hu
rt and it would be invasive and frightening, you wouldn’t like it.”
She felt a strange thrill go through her. She was frightened, surely, but there was something beneath it, something forbidden and alluring.
Darcy inspected his fingernails, all business again. “Don’t worry, I won’t let them touch you. But if you walk around the ship wherever you want, you’ll be in danger.”
She licked her lips. “I see. I do. It’s only… You are the captain of the ship, aren’t you?”
“I don’t see what that’s got to do with anything.”
“Well, the men listen to your orders. And if you have told them that I am under your protection, then wouldn’t they leave me alone? If they didn’t, it would mean that you didn’t have nearly the control over them you thought, wouldn’t it?”
He laughed. “You deeply underestimate what men who have been kept away from a woman for months on end will do, Miss Bennet.” He inclined his head. “That said, perhaps we can allow you some walks on the deck as long as I am with you. At any rate, this isn’t what I came to talk to you about, as diverting as the conversation has been.”
“It isn’t?’
“No, I’ve come by to tell you that we are going to be boarding a ship and that you will be quite alone except for the cook and a few other men, so it is imperative that you are quiet and do not tempt them to hurt you. I will leave you locked in your room, and you should be very safe, but do not make things hard for yourself, you understand?”
“You’re leaving the ship?” she said. “Leaving me behind?”
“I’ll be back,” he said. “I just have some business to attend to.”
* * *
Darcy strode up and down the deck of the ship. “This is horrendous. What kind of repair do you keep your main mast in? It looks as if it might fall down at any minute, and that can’t be safe.”
“I’m sorry,” said the captain of the ship. “What did you say your name was?”
“Collinbottom,” said Darcy. “Ichabod Collinbottom. Sir Collinbottom to you, as I was knighted just last year. And I tell you, this ship is a disgrace. I’ll have to put it all in my report.”
“Sir Collinbottom, the mast is sturdy as they come. I don’t see how you could possibly think that it needs anything at all. The ship herself is quite a good vessel. I know boats. I been sailing since I was a boy.”
“And yet, you are taking this death trap out on the water.”
“I must disagree respectfully. I really think that—”
“No, your disagreement doesn’t matter.” Darcy gripped the railing and looked out over the ocean. “After I put this in my report, I feel certain the company will strip you of your ship and keep you from sailing ever again.”
“Can they do that?” The captain looked flummoxed. “I must confess, I never heard of such a thing.”
Darcy turned back to him. This man wasn’t taking the bait quite as easy as some. Some men would have already been offering something, anything, to keep him from turning them in. But not this man. He’d need a bit of prompting. “I’m sure you wish there was a way to stop me from doing this.”
“Well…” The captain considered. “Yes, I do, in fact. I’d be most obliged if you wouldn’t put any of this in any report, because it doesn’t seem true to me.”
“There might be a way that I could be convinced not to report on any of this.”
“Oh?”
“I simply want some of your opium,” said Darcy, smiling.
The captain shook his head slowly. “You know, I don’t think that I’ve ever heard tell of someone inspecting the ships on the ocean, and I must tell you that mast is as sturdy as any mast could be. I get the feeling that you’re toying with me, sir.”
“Do you?” Darcy swore under his breath. What the blazes was happening with his luck these days? He had been on one ship in which he’d had to kill everyone aboard. What were the odds that he’d have to do it all again the very next ship he boarded? “Listen, captain, if you just exchange the opium for my silence, this can all go quite easily. But if you want to cause trouble, then I don’t mind bringing it to you. The fact of the matter is, we’ll be taking your opium. We can leave you with your lives, or we can take those too. It’s really up to you.”
“You’re nothing but a thieving scoundrel, aren’t you? I bet your name isn’t even Collinbottom.”
“What’s it going to be, captain?” Darcy gestured to his ship. “My ship has its cannons trained on you as we speak.”
“I’ll not give in to the likes of you.” The captain reached for his sword.
Before he could get it out of its scabbard, Darcy had his dagger out, and he had it at the man’s neck.
The captain let out a noise of surprise. “And you don’t fight fair, either, do you? Should have known.”
“There’s no fair on the open sea, sir,” said Darcy. “Do you care to rethink your position? Shall I kill you? Or will you surrender your opium?”
The captain sneered at him. “You win, Collinbottom if that is really your name. But you should take no pride in your villainy. You are the worst sort of scum.”
“Oh, you wound me,” muttered Darcy. “All the same, thank you for your cooperation.”
CHAPTER THREE
“I heard all manner of noises,” said Elizabeth from across the table. “What was it that you did to that ship you boarded?”
“Nothing at all,” said Darcy, “and I don’t want to talk about that. Let’s instead discuss the books I had brought to you. Are you enjoying them?”
“Well, if you did nothing at all, what was the purpose of boarding the ship in the first place?”
“Listen, Miss Bennet, I must make money somehow, mustn’t I? So, what I do is I go onto ships and I pretend to be someone I’m not. I threaten the men there with ruin, and they offer me their opium freely. Then I take it, and I sell it in China, and I have some money to send home. Which reminds me. About taking you to Bombay—”
“How do you threaten them with ruin?” she said.
He sighed. “I pretend to be someone who works for the East India Company, inspecting their ship. I find fault with it, and tell them that I’ll report it. When they beg me not to, I say that they could give me opium in exchange. That is all. Sometimes I pretend other things. It’s whatever strikes my fancy.”
“But what if they refuse to give you their opium?”
“That never happens,” he said. “Now, listen to me very carefully, Miss Bennet, I must let you know about my promise to take you to India.”
“Did you kill all the people on that ship, just as you killed everyone on my ship?”
“I assure you, no one died today,” he said. “Now, about going to India. We’re actually closer to China right now. It hardly makes sense for me to go all the way back to Bombay, when I could just swing over and unload this opium instead.”
She drew back. “You’re going to keep me on the ship longer?”
“I’m sorry for it, but I really think that I must,” he said.
She looked down at her food, beginning to lose her appetite. This was dreadful. She had already despaired of being on this ship for so long. Now, it was going to be longer?
“I’m sorry,” he said. “But I can’t have you ruining all my business prospects.”
“You said that having me on board would ruin everything. What with me tempting the men to rape me and all of that.”
“Yes, that’s true, but you’ve been on board this long and nothing has happened, so perhaps my fears were groundless. At any rate, when we reach China, I will allow the men to roam free, and they can all find some doxies to slake their thirst for female flesh. Honestly, Miss Bennet, I did not think you’d be so upset.”
“Well, of course I’m upset.”
“Eager to get home and find a husband?”
“You know I won’t find a husband.” She sighed. “Even if there was a man back home that wanted me, after I return home having been held captive on a pirate ship, I
’ll be as ruined as if all that raping you talk of had actually happened. I don’t know why you bother to protect me. Not that it truly matters, because one can’t ruin a spinster anyway, can one?”
“Don’t be dramatic. You’re hardly a spinster. Why, you can’t be more than three and twenty.”
She glared at him. “It’s been six years since we first met, Mr. Darcy. You can hardly expect me to own my age, though I must say it is rather higher than three and twenty.”
“I have told you not to call me that several times. I beg you to indulge me. Furthermore, I don’t like the careless way that you throw around the idea of your being raped. I told you what it meant in the hopes of shocking you, but you don’t seem to grasp how terrible it would be.”
She shrugged. “Well, perhaps I would welcome anything to break up the sheer boredom of being locked in that room night and day.”
“Yes, I realize it is trying, which is why you are dining with me this evening, but you certainly don’t want to be used by men like that. I think you are only saying it to try to goad me, and I warn you that this is not something you should be offhand about.”
“I’m sorry that I don’t have the appropriate fear of being ravished. This was not something that was taught to me by my governess. I apologize.” Not that she’d actually had a governess. Her mother had taught her, and she’d read a number of her father’s books when the fancy struck her, but no matter. It sounded better that way, and he wouldn’t know the difference.
He rubbed his jaw. “Perhaps I need to make things clearer for you, Miss Bennet. Perhaps you need a demonstration of just a fraction of what might happen to you.”
She stiffened. “From you?”
He looked around the cabin. “Well, I don’t see anyone else about, do you?”
She was goading him. She had little other form of entertainment. But the threat of his… touching her, it made her feel a little uncertain of herself. She fiddled with her napkin, which was little more than a stained rag. It was clean enough, though, and she had been grateful of his providing it.
The Dread Mr. Darcy Page 3
