by Joy Elbel
Farm animals, tractor pulls and dirty carnies—not my usual idea of fun. But since I would get to spend the entire day with Zach, it sounded like the best day ever. I mean, even a day spent in prison would be awesome as long as I had him for a cell mate. But I didn’t want him to know that. A girl had to keep some things a mystery if she wanted to keep the romance alive. So I tucked away visions of us in orange jumpsuits happily making toilet wine together and suppressed the dreaminess in my voice. “Sure, now all we have to do is convince Shelly to let me go,” I said nonchalantly.
I soon found out that Zach was true to his word. Fifteen minutes and a phone call to Diane Mason later, I was packing my stuff and leaving for a blissful twenty four hours away from Rosewood and away from Lee. I had to admit—thanks to Zach, I was almost starting to like Shelly.
Dinner at the Mason house was everything dinner at Rosewood wasn’t—loud, crazy and home cooked. Diane was a waitress at the All American Diner but from the taste of things, she should have been a cook. When she found out there would be guests, she went all out for the meal. Homemade beef stew and biscuits from scratch. How did Rachel stay so thin living in that house? Any other girl would be the size of a whale.
After meeting their parents, I could definitely see where Zach and Rachel got their good looks from. Diane was petite with a short blonde pixie haircut and looked a lot like a smaller, older version of Rachel. Their father Garrett was a tall, ruggedly handsome man with the same muscular build as Zach. They were the prettiest family I’d ever seen. The only members of the household who weren’t blond were the dogs—Sadie and Sequoia—two black labs they adopted from the shelter.
Although their house looked small from the outside, once inside it just felt cozy. After dinner, Garrett and Diane went outside to work in their garden, leaving the four of us alone to start movie night. We decided to each pick out one we wanted to see so there wouldn’t be any arguing. So naturally, we bickered anyway over which one to watch first. When we finally decided, we turned out the lights and settled in with two large bowls of popcorn. Rachel lay down on the couch with her legs casually draped over Boone’s lap. They looked so comfortable together and I envied that. I wanted things to be that easy with Zach, to not have to deal with the drama anymore. If Lee could find a way to move on, I just knew we could be that perfect couple. Being with him felt…right. But until then, I had to keep some measure of distance between us. So instead of pressing myself up next to him on the loveseat like I wanted to, I settled for having my hand wrapped in his.
By the time the credits rolled on the last movie, it was way past midnight. I was tired but the thought of leaving his side was an unpleasant one. We all discussed how good the last movie was—Zach’s pick of course—anything to avoid the inevitable separation for the night. I yawned repeatedly but insisted that I wasn’t tired every time Zach asked if I was ready for bed.
Finally, he put his foot down and dragged Boone off of the couch, “Come on, time for bed. Ruby’s tired and we still need to pitch that tent.”
Boone gave Rachel a very over-exaggerated wink, and replied, “I don’t know about you but I already did that an hour ago right here on this couch courtesy of your sexy sister!”
Rachel snatched a cushion from the couch and whacked him in the stomach with it, “Stop it! If my mom or dad heard you.…”
Zach interrupted her, “Never mind them, I heard you, you little perv!” Zach grabbed the cushion from Rachel and smacked Boone squarely in the crotch with it instead. “There, that oughta do it. Now that I’ve knocked down that little tent, we can go set up the one we’re going to sleep in.”
“Hey! Who you callin’ little?” Boone laughed, grabbed Rachel and gave her a kiss on the cheek. “That’s okay—Rach and I can go ‘camping’ tomorrow night.”
Rachel giggled and gave him a quick kiss on the lips. “Goodnight, baby.”
Now came that awkward moment where Zach and I got to say our goodnights. Would he try to kiss me, here in his parents’ house? And if he did, was I ready to let him? What was I thinking—of course I was. But what if he didn’t even try? Ugh. Why did love have to be so freaking complicated? Girl likes boy, boy likes girl. Shouldn’t that be enough?
But as I stood there thinking I would gladly trade a year’s worth of allowances for one breath mint and a tube of lip balm, he wrapped his arms around me and gave me a warm, friendly hug instead. With his lips so close that his breath tickled my ear, he whispered, “Goodnight, I’ll see you in the morning.”
Disappointed, I returned the sentiment anyway and Zach and Boone disappeared through the screen door. I followed Rachel back the hall and she showed me to Zach’s room.
“I know you’re tired but can we talk for a minute?” she said with a measure of seriousness.
Uh oh. I didn’t like the intensity in her voice. I knew she was dying to know what was going on between me and Zach but there was something else brewing in that bubbly little head of hers. What I really wanted was to crawl under the covers and go to sleep. Now. But curiosity got the better of me—as always—and I invited her to follow me into his room. We sat on the bed and I prepared for the barrage of questions I was sure she was about to fire off.
Instead, she only asked one thing, “Do you love my brother?” I never expected Rachel of all people to cut to the chase and ask so directly without even knowing any of what Zach and I talked about that night on the hill or today in the oak grove. I wasn’t prepared for that question.
It just didn’t seem right to answer her truthfully, especially since Zach didn’t even know how I truly felt. So I gave her a watered down version of it instead. “I really like him but we need to take it slow. I come with a hefty amount of baggage and I don’t want to dump it all on him too soon.”
She nodded slowly. “Fair enough, I guess. He may look tough on the outside but he has a sensitive heart. Just do me one favor—don’t break it.” She walked out of the room and closed the door behind her before I could even respond.
Tired as I was, I got ready for bed slowly while I thought about my conversation with Rachel. I wanted to be with Zach but I had to find a way to get rid of Lee first. Being there alone in his room, I felt surrounded by him and it was the best feeling in the world. It felt like I was in the inner sanctum, the place only the people who really knew him would ever get to see.
On his desk lay a notebook with “I HATE MATH!” doodled in thick, block letters. His calendar was filled in an adult-like manner. Zach kept track of shelter-related commitments, not upcoming parties. Even the posters on his walls weren’t the usual ones you would find in a teenage boy’s room. No, half naked girls were nowhere to be found. Instead, pictures of athletes surrounded by inspirational sayings littered every inch of wall space. And in the corner stood his drum set, obviously dusty yet begging to be played. He just wasn’t a normal sixteen year old. And that was his most attractive quality. Sure, he was gorgeous and flirty and knew all the right things to say, but anyone could see that. Underneath that perfection lay something even more beautiful, something he didn’t let everyone see. But he let me see it. And what I saw was simply dazzling.
Through the open window I could hear the sound of his laughter coming from the tent and happiness like I’d never known crept into me. Here, nothing could hurt me. Since I knew he couldn’t be with me, I would settle for letting the sound of his voice lull me to sleep. Yawning fiercely, I turned down the sheet. On his pillow, to my surprise, I found a single rose. And it wasn’t just any rose but a Heart of Scarlet rose he must have picked this afternoon while at the mansion. At the base of each crimson petal was the light outline of a heart shaded in a slightly lighter red tint. It was the most romantic thing anyone had ever done for me. He made me feel special—something Lee hadn’t really accomplished in all our time together. I crawled into Zach’s bed and lay my head on the pillow now mixed with the scent of roses and his cologne. Pulling the sheet around me, I hugged his pillow tight and imagined it was him instead.
Sleep had become an unaffordable luxury for me since moving to Charlotte’s Grove, so when a light tapping sounded on the window, I bolted upright in bed. Could I have been wrong about feeling safe here? Could Lee have followed me to Zach’s house? My first thought was to bury my head and pretend I hadn’t heard a thing. But if there was even a glimmer of hope for a future with Zach, I had to start facing my problems head on. With an odd combination of bravery and trepidation, I took a deep breath and walked to the window afraid of what might meet me there.
All I could see was a white figure standing just outside the window motioning me forward. My heart stopped for just a second as I stared at the ghostly image standing only a few feet from me. Then I realized it wasn’t dark, it wasn’t frightening. To put it bluntly, it couldn’t be Lee. No, what I saw was peaceful and pure and it made me want to embrace it. And as the figure drew nearer, I saw that it was Zach bathed in moonlight and looking every bit like the Norse god I compared him to that first day we met.
“Lift the screen,” he whispered.
I did as he asked, hoping against hope that he might climb in through the window to stay with me tonight. But he didn’t. He stayed outside, reaching through the window only to take my hand, softly caressing the inside of my wrist with his fingertips.
“I found the rose—that was so sweet of you. No one’s ever done anything like that for me before.” And I never thought anyone ever would.
“I’m glad you liked it,” he said as he gently brushed back my hair. “I have something to say that just couldn’t wait until morning. But I have to make it quick, if my parents find me here, they’ll kill me.”
“Okay.” I didn’t know what he was going to say but I knew what I wanted to hear.
“I’m glad you’re here tonight. You’re safe with me—I hope you know that.”
“I do. When I’m with you, it’s like nothing bad could ever happen.” Like I would never be unhappy again.
“I know you’ve been through a lot lately and sometimes I’ve probably made things worse. But I want you to know that I won’t rush you or rush this relationship. When you’re ready, just let me know. Until then, I’ll just be there when you need me.”
My heart pounded louder with each word he spoke, waiting for the declaration of undying love that never came. I knew it was there, between the lines and cautiously hidden, and that would have to be good enough for now.
So I swallowed the words I had prepared in response and replied appropriately instead. “I know you will be, Zach, and that means more to me than you could possibly know.”
So we stood there, hand in hand, staring silently into each other’s eyes. There were so many things that could be said but nothing else we were ready to say. Except for goodnight.
But even after that sentiment was exchanged, I still wasn’t satisfied. I watched him walk away from the window, working up the courage to call him back. “Zach!” I whispered.
He returned to the window with a smile, like he hoped I wasn’t done with him yet. I reached out and in the bravest moment of my life, I closed my eyes and pressed my lips to his.
13. The Promise
The kiss was quick and PG rated if even that but it sent shock waves through my body as though I just stuck my finger in an electrical outlet. I’d never taken that kind of initiative with a boy. Lee was the only boy I ever locked lips with before and he kissed me a thousand times before I ever made the first move. As shocked as I was by my behavior, Zach seemed even more surprised. Long after I released my lips from his, he stood there motionless, eyes closed. When he finally opened them, he looked like he was drunk. And there hadn’t even been tongues involved!
I sent him away quickly after that for fear we would be caught. He blew me a kiss as he walked away and I caught it and placed it to my lips. I got back into bed even more elated than I was the first time. As I lay there enveloped in his scent and still dizzy from the kiss, I made a decision. Tomorrow I would tell him the full truth about Lee. If Zach and I were going to be together, I didn’t want my lies to come between us. I didn’t want anything to come between us. Even if he thought I was crazy, I would have to take that risk. If the truth caused us to break up, it had to happen before we got any closer than we already were. Life without him would already be heart wrenching enough as it was. And with that decision, a newfound strength welled up inside me. I would find a way to escape Lee, be honest with Zach, and hopefully not lose him in the process.
I had the most beautiful dream that night. Zach and I were in the rose garden at the mansion. He was wearing the same clothes he wore the night he put the cat tree together for me—the ones he looked so hot in. His hair was perfectly spiked and he looked amazing. He picked a rose and held it out to me. It looked just like all of the other roses there but when I smelled it, I knew it was different. It smelled like him, that same woodsy scent I loved so much. He tucked the rose into my hair just behind my ear, brushing softly against my skin as he did so. When he beckoned for me to follow him, I did so without hesitation. He took my hand and led me to the fountain. But unlike the real fountain, this one was filled with water so clear that it cast our reflections like a mirror. On the surface, rose petals floated, bobbing up and down in the cascading water before sinking into a layer of soft pink at the bottom. Zach stepped into the fountain and lifted me over the stone barrier until we were both standing in the water. It was warm and the small waves caused by our intrusion lapped gently against us. I could feel the misty spray on my face as the jets spouted upward. He leaned forward, his blue eyes fixed dreamily on me. With one arm wrapped around my waist, he drew me to him. And then…we kissed. It wasn’t just any kiss—it was a kiss that could stop the world from turning. We kissed like it was the first time, the last time and every time in between. The dream didn’t seem to end—it just quietly faded away.
I awoke to the sound of Zach’s laughter and the smell of bacon and eggs. As anxious as I was to see him, his bed was comfortable and I did not want to move. I could have stayed there all day, replaying our kiss in my mind. How his lips felt against mine. How my pulse raced as I made the rash decision to just go for it. How glad I was that I did it in the end. How much I wanted to do it again. But as with all good things, my dreamy recollections had to come to an end. Rachel began knocking and impatiently calling my name from the other side of the door so I lazily rolled out of bed to let her in. It was scary that she was so full of exuberance from the minute she woke up, especially to someone famous for hitting the snooze alarm like her life depended on it.
There she stood with a gigantic smile on her face—a great big ray of blonde freakin’ sunshine—looking perfectly refreshed and ready for whatever the day had to offer. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail and she wasn’t wearing a hint of makeup but she was still incredibly gorgeous. Why couldn’t I wake up looking even half that good? She bounded into the room chattering like a squirrel in a nut factory about how much fun today was going to be. I blocked out most of what she said as I now realized I had to make myself presentable for breakfast with Zach. She acted as though we never had the talk about not breaking her brother’s heart the night before. Oh well, if she could get over it that easily, so could I. And besides, there were more important things on my mind. Like how I was going to transform myself into Miss America in less than ten minutes for the Norse god waiting for me in the kitchen.
“So are you ready for breakfast?” she asked as I finally gave up on fixing my hair and reluctantly pulled it into a ponytail, too.
“I’m starving but I look absolutely dreadful. One look at Medusa here and Zach’s going to run away screaming.” I wiped at the corners of my eyes to get rid of the last traces of sleep but had no remedy for the dark circles that lack of sleep bestowed upon me recently.
“You look great, Ruby! I know my brother—he’s going to think you’re as beautiful as the day you met.”
“I hope so,” I said with a sigh. I’d never been one of those girls who went out
of her way to look good for a boy. With Lee, I’d never had to. But Zach was a different story altogether. I knew he didn’t expect me to be perfect. But for him, I sure wanted to be.
“I know so. Now, let’s go get something to eat before the boys eat it all.” Rachel snatched the lip gloss out of my hand before I even had a chance to use it and practically dragged me out of the bedroom behind her.
The kitchen was bustling with activity. Diane was manning the stove while Garrett, with a plate already heaping with toast, plugged four more slices of bread into the toaster. Boone sat at the table behind him, snatching a piece of toast every time Garrett wasn’t looking. Zach was busy grabbing milk and juice from the fridge and didn’t see me coming. When he turned around and I saw his face for the first time, I forgot all about my bare lips and messy hair. All I could think about was how he looked after the kiss the night before.
Our eyes met instantly and he blushed as he said, “Good morning, Ruby.” He had to be thinking the same thing I was. For some reason, he looked younger and more innocent than usual with his hair flat and slightly tousled. It was a side of him I’d never seen before and I decided immediately that I liked ‘morning Zach’ just as much as I liked ‘midnight Zach’. He pulled a chair out for me then sat down beside me.
“Well Boone.…” Rachel stood beside him waiting for him to pull a chair out for her, too. He didn’t take the hint but stole another slice of toast instead.
Zach kicked him under the table and whispered, “She wants you to pull out a chair for her. Don’t keep Princess waiting.”
Boone unhinged his jaw and swallowed the slice whole. “You know you’re making the rest of us guys look bad, Romeo. What ever happened to the Bro Code?” Boone brushed the crumbs from his shirt and got the chair for Rachel, who nodded her head to him in approval.
“Sorry, Boone, but I just can’t seem to help myself when she’s around.” He entwined his fingers with mine and kissed my hand gently. I giggled in spite of myself. Something about him made me feel so alive that I couldn’t help laughing like a silly little girl when I was with him. That and I suspected I was spending way too much time with Rachel. Zach squeezed my hand and slipped it under the table where his parents couldn’t see. Our hands came to rest on his leg and we shared a smile at our little secret.
