by Joy Elbel
“Wow, you guys were bound together by tragedy. And I’m guessing that I haven’t even heard the worst of it yet.” I’d never seen her look so sad.
“Not even close it. At the funeral, his mother dropped an atomic bomb on him. As he stood there crying, he reached for her hand. She turned to him and said, ‘You can stop crying now. He wasn’t even your father. But he was my husband.’ She told him right then and there that he was adopted. He was never the same again.”
“Oh my God! What a bitch!”
“Tell me about it. His life was hell after that. His father was gone and his mother ignored him. She’s an artist so she spent all of her time in her studio doing all of these morbid war inspired paintings. Lee wanted details about his real parents but she wouldn’t tell him anything. He changed after that. He became withdrawn and obsessed about where he came from and who he really was. He planned on searching for the truth the minute he turned eighteen. He died without any answers.”
“I hate to ask, but did he…you know, kill himself?”
“No, nothing like that. He wasn’t suicidal—he was just different. He liked to draw and we would spend hours sitting at the cemetery so he could sketch the headstones and stuff. He was kind of obsessed with death and what happened when you died. But he wasn’t always depressed—we had fun together over the years. I was the only friend he had and he was the only friend I had. When I was fifteen, we started dating. It just seemed liked destiny. The kids in school called us Morgan and Liam—like the couple in that movie ‘Vampire’s Last Kiss’.”
“I love that movie. Liam was so romantic and poor Morgan was destined for disaster. I can see why they called you that. You had the same kind of epic romance going on.”
“They called us that because they thought we were weird. They saw us as some creepy Goth couple. They didn’t know what we really went through. We got picked on a lot in school.”
“Oh, I didn’t think about it that way. Sorry.”
If someone told me a year ago that I would be telling this story to someone, I would have laughed. Especially if they’d said that someone would be a pretty, popular cheerleader. Yet it felt completely normal to sit there and tell her every detail. My life sure changed in the last year.
“So all we had was each other. But we were happy together. Until the day he died.”
I swallowed hard. This was the difficult part. I spent an entire year doing my best not to think about what happened that day. It was too painful.
Rachel noticed my hesitation and responded with sympathy. “Take your time, Ruby. I know it must be really tough talking about him like this.” She moved to the futon and sat facing me. “But I need to know what happened that day. If he’s hurting you somehow from beyond the grave, maybe I can help you.”
I nodded my head and pushed my memory back to that day. I needed to remember every detail no matter how insignificant it may seem. She was right. Maybe somewhere in my subconscious there was an answer to why he wouldn’t let me go. Or a clue on how to end it.
If my dad ever found out, he would kill Lee and me both! I bounded down the sidewalk to the blue Chevy Cobalt parked next door. Lee was waiting patiently for me like always. I opened the passenger side door and heaved my tote bag over the seat and into the back.
“What’s in there?” Lee asked as I climbed into the car.
“Barbecue chips, diet soda, candy. What else would it be? You know I like to snack in the car. And it’s going to be a long drive, right? And turn on the AC—it’s like a sauna out there.”
I pulled down the visor to check my hair in the mirror. My perfectly formed curls were already starting to droop in the unbearable heat. It was only the first day of June but the sun was unrelenting. It brought the promise of a beautiful summer aside from the effect it was having on my hair. Today I turned sixteen—the world was at my feet.
“Seriously, Ru. You look fine. Are you ready to go?” Lee closed the visor and smiled at me. “The concert starts in four hours. We should’ve left an hour ago.”
“Yes! Oh, wait—one more thing.” I dug around in my bag for the right CD. I popped it in, grabbed a handful of chips and smiled. “Now I’m ready.”
Lee eased the nose of his car into traffic and we were off. We were on our way to a Cold Eternal concert in Harrisburg. But it wasn’t just any concert. It was one of the stops on their Capital Punishment Tour. They were playing in every state capital along with local bands as their opening acts. It was their last tour for at least two years while they worked on their next album. When I found out they were playing here on my birthday, I swore I would do anything I had to do to see them.
“Happy birthday, Ru. I got you a present but you have to wait until after the concert to open it.” He flashed me a devilish grin. He knew I couldn’t wait that long but he got a thrill out of teasing me.
“I can wait until we get to Harrisburg but that’s about it. You should know me better than that by now.” I put my hand on his leg and winked.
“I know you better than you know yourself,” he replied.
He thought he did. What he didn’t know was that I lied to him. A really big lie. Lee thought my father gave his permission for me to go to the concert with him. The truth was Dad said no when I asked him. He thought the trip to Harrisburg was too far of a drive since Lee had only had his license since October. I tried to explain to my dad that this was the last chance we would have to go. He didn’t care—he was too old to remember what it was like to be sixteen. So I bought the tickets anyway. Dad would never find out the truth. And I could have my perfect birthday.
I told my dad that I had cramps and wanted to spend the night on the couch watching television. As soon as I mentioned the word cramps, he didn’t want to hear any more. Dad was a doctor but he had a real problem talking with me about girl stuff like that. As soon as he left for work, I got dressed and took off. Tonight was going to go smoothly and neither Dad nor Lee would ever know I lied.
We sang along to the music as we drove, talking about which songs we hoped they would perform at the concert. We didn’t have much further to drive but I insisted we find a place to stop for a bathroom break.
Lee pulled the car into the parking lot of a small convenience store and turned off the engine. “Are you coming in too?” I yelled as I ran for the bathroom. I should not have had two cans of diet soda.
He shook his head no and I spared no time getting in the store. Once I was done, I fixed my hair in the mirror and ran back outside. When I got into the car, I knew something was wrong. My phone had fallen out of my purse and was sitting on my seat. Open. To a new text. From my dad.
“Hope you’re feeling better. Don’t watch any scary movies until I get home. You know how scared you get!”
“What’s this? I thought your dad knew about the concert tonight?” He shook his head and flung the phone into my lap.
I could feel my face getting hotter. I was busted. “Uh, I guess he forgot.” It was lame but worth a shot.
“Nice try, Ruby. He said no, didn’t he? I thought it was too good to be true. He’s going to blame me, you know.” The warm brown of his eyes grew blacker with anger as he spoke.
He only used my full name when he was mad so I returned the favor. “I’m sorry, Seeley. He said no. But I wanted to go so bad! I figured it wouldn’t hurt to sneak out just this once!”
“Your dad hates me enough as it is, Ru! He’s going to think it was all my idea!” He pounded the steering wheel with his fist.
I didn’t think of that. “He doesn’t hate you.” I lied. “He just thinks we spend too much time together. He thinks you’re the reason I don’t have any friends.”
“Which is probably true. Which is why I don’t need you to lie to your dad and make me look even worse. I love you, Ru. What if your dad won’t let you see me anymore because of this?”
“He won’t.” I tried to sound convincing but I could definitely hear the doubt in my voice. If Dad found out, it wasn’t going to be prett
y.
“You know he will. That’s it. We’re going back to Trinity right now. There may still be enough time to undo the damage.”
“No! Lee you can’t! I would die to see this concert!”
“And your dad’s going to kill me in the process.”
“He’ll never find out, I promise! We can’t go back now—we’re almost there. And besides, I had a little gift in mind for you tonight.” A little seduction goes a long way with sixteen year old boys and I was going to use every weapon in the arsenal.
Anger was swept away by curiosity. “You did?”
I nodded my head. “I figured we could do some things we’d never done before. After the concert, of course.” Lee and I never went beyond kissing—but by my choice, not his. Something about it just didn’t feel right to me. But if I promised him something more this time, he would stop freaking out about my lies and I would get to see the concert.
“Like what?” He leaned in close and kissed me.
“You have to take me to the concert if you want to find out,” I teased. One look at his face and I knew he was hooked. I just hoped he wouldn’t be too disappointed when he didn’t get everything he wanted.
He finally gave in. “Fine. But if we get caught, you have to be honest with your dad and tell him I knew nothing about it when we left. Okay?”
“Anything you want!” I dug out another can of soda and a handful of chips and snapped my seat belt into place.
“Really—anything?” His eyes grew wide as he said it.
I could almost hear what he was thinking—boys are all the same! There wasn’t a single teenage boy who would say no to sex or anything closely resembling it. “Anything but not everything—if you know what I mean.”
“Okay, as long as I get something. Let’s go.”
He backed the car out of the parking space and headed onto the highway. About ten miles down the road we came to the Susquehanna River and I knew that Harrisburg couldn’t be much further. I was so excited I couldn’t sit still. I turned the radio up even louder than it already was and sang along at the top of my lungs.
A road sign reading “Destiny Bridge” hung from the massive beams spanning the river. I pointed to the sign. “See, Lee, it’s destiny. We were meant to go to this concert tonight!”
“That’s just a clever rationalization. There’s no such thing as destiny.”
I knew he didn’t believe in fate, but I did. I believed that things happened for a reason. There was no such thing as coincidence. I wasn’t religious but I did believe that things happened the way they were supposed to.
“There is too! We met each other for a reason, don’t you think?”
“We’re neighbors. That’s the reason we met. Nothing cosmic about it.”
“You’re wrong. You’ll see. We met for a reason. We were meant to be together forever. And we were meant to go to this concert.”
The traffic ahead came to a grinding halt. Lee put the car in park and turned to me. “I don’t believe in fate but I do believe in us. You’re my past, my present and my future. That’s the only thing in this life that I’m sure of.”
“It looks like we may be here for a while so I guess you’ve waited long enough. Time for your birthday present.” He unbuckled his seatbelt and reached under his hoodie on the backseat. There was a small package in his hand wrapped in silver paper and tied with a blue bow. He handed it to me with a smile.
“I hope you like it.”
I untied the bow and slid my fingernail under the seam to loosen the tape. As the paper unrolled, a black velvet box dropped out into my lap. I flipped open the box to find a silver charm bracelet. The charms were each small hearts adorned with red stones and in the center hung a single key. It was the best birthday present ever.
“Oh, Lee, I love it! Thank you so much! Will you help me put it on?”
He took my wrist gently in his hand and hooked the small clasp in place. “I thought hard about what to get you. But the only thing I really wanted to give you was the key to my heart.”
I threw my arms around his neck. “It’s all I’ve ever wanted. I love you.”
Just as we were about to kiss, there was a knock on the window. A police officer was standing beside the car motioning for him to roll down the window. A sick feeling rose in my stomach. Did my dad already realize I was gone and call the police? I thought you had to wait at least wait forty eight hours for that?
“Where are you kids heading?” He seemed friendly enough and since he wasn’t pulling out the handcuffs I assumed I was mistaken.
“Harrisburg, sir. To a concert. Is there a problem up ahead?” Lee asked.
Just to be safe, I would let Lee do all the talking. I stared instead at the car in front of us. A small boy was looking over the backseat at me holding a stuffed animal. He waved to me and I waved back. I didn’t really like kids but he was especially cute. He giggled and started playing peek-a-boo over the top of the seat. I kept my eye on the boy but my ear on the conversation Lee was having with the cop.
“There’s an accident at the other end of the bridge. A girl was texting while driving and veered into the other lane. A milk truck swerved to miss her and ran straight into the side of the bridge—there’s a real big mess up there and it won’t be cleaned up for a while. We’re going to re-route everyone off of the bridge. When the cars behind you get turned around, I need you to do the same. There are some more officers at the end of the bridge—they can direct you to an alternate route. Drive safe. No texting, alright?”
“Absolutely not, officer. Thank you.”
I relaxed in my seat. I wasn’t going to be hauled back to Trinity in the back of a squad car. Lee peered into the rearview mirror.
“We have some time before we can turn around. What do you say—do you want to get a head start on my present for tonight?” He gave me a sly smile and slid his hand up my thigh.
“Okay Lee—but no more than kissing though. We have an audience.” I nodded my head to the little boy who was now making faces at us in the window. Lee stuck his tongue out at him and pulled me in for a kiss.
My favorite song on the CD started to play. ‘Will you be my, be my eternal? Will you die, die to be with me?’
Crash! The loudest noise I’d ever heard shattered the air. We pulled apart abruptly to what looked like a scene from a disaster movie. The support pillar a few cars ahead of us was crumbling into the river. Chunks of concrete flew in every direction, smashing windows and denting the metal of every car they hit. There was screaming and panic as everyone tried to drive off of the bridge but there was nowhere to go but down. We sat and watched the carnage as it unfolded.
It was like the sickest most sadistic nightmare you could imagine. Support cables snapped and flung wildly through the throng of frenzied people. The officer we just talked to ran past us to where a man had been hit with flying debris. He almost reached the prostrate man when a cable flung back and cut him off at the knees. Blood and bone splattered through the air and flung back on our windshield. Lee sprang into action, hitting the wipers and flinging the car into reverse.
“I’m gonna get us out of here, Ru. Don’t worry.” The car in front of us suddenly dropped out of sight as the asphalt disintegrated beneath it. I watched, terrified and helpless, as the cute little boy in front of us screamed and disappeared from sight. Our car lurched backwards with a jolt, the wheels spinning as Lee tried desperately to move the car away from the ever widening chasm.
“No matter what happens, Ru, I promise we’ll be together forever. I love you.” He grabbed my hand and squeezed tightly.
“I love you, too. Forever.”
‘Will you be my, be my eternal? Will you die, die to be with me? Will you cry for, for me my eternal? Close your eyes—this death I give to you.”
The car pitched forward and my head hit the dash. Everything went white.
20. Good Friends and Bad Ideas
“Oh. My. God.” Rachel nearly fell off the futon by the time I fin
ished my account of the night Lee died. “I had no idea. I remember hearing about that bridge collapse but I never would have guessed that was how Lee died. And you—you survived it. That’s incredible! How bad were you hurt?”
“Well, I had a concussion, a broken vertebrae and every bone in my left wrist was broken. I spent that summer in a back brace and with pins in my arm. It was awful. Physically I was a mess but that was nothing compared to the psychological damage. His mother held the funeral while I was still in the hospital. I never even got to say goodbye.”
“What a bitch! I can’t even imagine how I would feel if that happened to Boone. But the accident wasn’t your fault! You couldn’t have known how that night would end.” She reached for my hand and I realized how good of a friend Rachel truly was. I never had a female friend before and I never knew what I was missing until now. I knew how lucky I was to have met her. All I needed now was to win Zach’s love back. And to get rid of Lee.
“But if I hadn’t lied to Lee, we never would have gone. And if I hadn’t tempted him with sex, he would have turned the car around. It is my fault. If I could do it all over again.…”
She interrupted me there. “But you can’t—so don’t torture yourself by even thinking about it. All you can do now is pick up the pieces and move on.”
That was easier said than done and I told her so. After all, it was my attempt to move on that had me in my current situation in the first place.
Rachel sat quietly for a moment. “This may be a stupid question but are you sure it’s Lee? Are you sure he’s the one who’s been hurting you?”
“You’re right—that is a stupid question. Who else could it be?” It’s not like I had a whole closet full of dead boyfriends to choose from.
“I don’t know but Lee was a good person, right?”
“Of course he was! I wouldn’t have been with him if he weren’t. If he’d hit me or anything while we were together, I wouldn’t have stayed with him. I’m not a moron.”
“No, that’s not what I meant. What I was thinking was, if he was such a good person while he was alive, why did he change so much after he died? It doesn’t make any sense.”
