by Joy Elbel
It was the exact answer I wanted to give. The only difference was he said it with complete confidence whereas I would have sounded like an insecure idiot. I never believed in love at first sight until the day I met Zach.
Rita’s face remained solemn. “Less than two months.” She pondered that for a while. “I have a personal question to ask you. It’s a delicate subject—I realize that—but trust that I have a good reason for wanting to know. Okay?”
We both nodded in agreement.
She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. “Are you guys, well, are you sexually active?”
What? What could that possibly have to do with the situation at hand? I wanted to tell her it was none of her business but I was desperate to take care of my problem.
Zach responded first. “No.” He paused and I finished his sentence for him.
“Not yet.” There. I said it. I wanted to be with him—eventually—and I wasn’t ashamed to admit it. “Just a few innocent kisses—nothing too intense.”
I noticed that Rita stiffened a little in her chair when she heard our responses like it wasn’t what she expected to hear. “Hmm.”
Hmm? We answer a tough question like that for her and the only reply she could muster was ‘hmm’?
“I guess I should explain why I need to know.” That’s right. She definitely had some explaining to do!
“You said that the activity intensifies the closer you get to each other. There are many different kinds of ghosts and entities like the one at Rosewood need an energy source to be able to manipulate the physical world. They’re called shades and they feed off of the energy of the living.”
I was appalled. “You mean to tell me this thing is draining the life right out of my body?” Zach squeezed my hand reassuringly but it would take more than that to reassure me.
Rita gave a sympathetic smile. “No, it’s more like they share your energy. You’ll never even notice they’re doing it unless they use your own energy against you—like what’s happening to you.”
I was relieved slightly but still disturbed. “So you’re saying that I’m giving it the power to hurt me?”
“Unfortunately, yes. But there’s really no way to stop it. All you can do is try to limit the energy it can get access to.”
“How? And what does that have to do with.…” Zach trailed off and I could see he was starting to get embarrassed by the subject matter.
“The most potent energy comes from sex. That’s why I assumed that the two of you were actively feeding it. But since that’s not the case here, there’s only one other possible source—love. Not just any kind of love, though. It has to be something so deep that it’s almost spiritual, in a sense.”
Zach and I looked into each other’s eyes. I knew how I strongly I felt about him and it would explain why the ghost got more violent the closer I got to him. Did this mean he felt the same way about me?
Rita laughed. “That’s definitely the source. I can see it in your eyes. I can’t even imagine how much worse it would have been if you’d gone any further physically. If I’d felt even half of that in my marriage, I wouldn’t be divorced!”
A look of concern washed over Zach’s face. “So it’s my fault she’s been getting hurt? If I didn’t lo—like her, she would be safe?” I couldn’t help but notice he almost said he loved me. Almost.
Rita shook her head vigorously. “No, Zach, don’t even think about blaming yourself. It’s a two way street, you know. Ruby’s feelings come into play, too. And neither of you can change how you feel, can you?”
He put his head in his hands. “I just can’t stand by and watch her suffer any more. What if we can’t get rid of the ghost? If the only solution is to never see her again.…”
My heart sank into my stomach. Was this how it was going to end for us? “I lo—like you but…?” And, for real, why couldn’t he just say it?
“No, Zach. Solving this dilemma may not be easy but ending your relationship won’t be necessary.”
Zach lifted his eyes and he looked relieved. And determined. “What can we do then? How can we keep her from being hurt until we get rid of this thing?”
“For starters, no more kissing. You need to keep your relationship as platonic as possible.”
“I can do that. It’ll be harder than hell but I can do it.” He bore a serious expression like a soldier entering the front lines. “What else?”
“In general, you just need to keep your feelings for each other at bay as much as you can. You can still spend time together—just do it as friends. You can start by researching the house together.”
I breathed a sigh of relief. As much as I wanted to be his girlfriend, I could settle for just being his friend until this was all over. But the second that spirit was banished…. Oh, I had to stop thinking about it!
“Do you have any questions?”
“No.” We answered simultaneously.
“Okay then. If you uncover anything interesting in your research, let me know. I’ll give you my card. Feel free to call me day or night.”
We each took a business card from her and left the shop. Once we were alone in the car, doubt started creeping in. What if we couldn’t find a way to expel it? What then? At what point would he start to think that our relationship was too high maintenance and want to move on? Then he spoke the words I needed to hear.
“Well, I figure the worst case scenario is this. If we can’t remove it, then we’ll just have to wait until we can remove you. We both turn eighteen next year—we can get an apartment together then wherever we decide to go to college.”
I felt horrible, like I owed him an apology of some sort. I was nothing but trouble since the day we met. “I’m sorry I’m not a normal girlfriend. It’s not fair to ask you to wait for me!”
“You don’t have to ask! I can’t imagine my life without you in it. As long as we can be together in the end, it’ll all be worth it. We have something special—I refuse to lose it.” And the look in his eyes showed that he meant every word he said. But for how long?
One great big sigh of relief. For now anyway. “I don’t want to lose it either.” I tried to be positive but I felt heaviness inside that reminded me that the future of our relationship was out of our hands.
24. Reinventing Ruby
We talked about our dilemma the entire drive home.
“So when do you want to start looking into the history of Rosewood?” I asked, wishing the library were still open.
“The library is only open from ten to two on Sundays so I figure if I pick you up at 9:30, we can start the minute they unlock the doors. In four hours, we may be able to find something useful.”
“Okay.” I looked out the window as we passed by a group of kids our age walking out of a fast food restaurant. They were laughing like they didn’t have a care in the world. That’s how it should be for us, too. Instead, we were talking about spending a warm summer day with our noses buried in dusty old books. “I’m sorry I ruined your summer for you.”
“What? You haven’t ruined anything for me. All I wanted was to spend it with you and I still get to do that.”
“But what fun can we have when we can’t even really date?” Sure, I was feeling sorry for myself but I had a really good reason to do it.
“Of course we can! There are plenty of things we can do. You still need to learn how to parallel park and don’t forget about the fundraiser.”
The dinner! I totally forgot about it. “So you still want to go with me? I thought maybe you invited someone else, you know, after we broke up.”
We were stopped at a red light so he turned to look at me. “Someone else? What do you think I did that week—cruise town picking up chicks? I spent that week hating myself for the things I said to you. I spent that week thinking you would never want to talk to me again, thinking I lost the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Of course I still want to go with you.”
“I’m sorry Zach. But I spent that week hating myself for lying to
you and wishing that I could be the normal girl you deserve to be with. And I have to admit that I pictured you at the dinner with Misty or someone like her on your arm and having a normal date.”
The car behind us gave an impatient honk as the light turned green. Zach turned his eyes back to the road and continued on. “If I can’t be with you, I don’t want to be with anyone else. The sooner you realize that, the better.”
I was still afraid that one day he would wake up and realize that our relationship took too much effort and he would want to move on. But until that day came, he would never admit that possibility existed and arguing about it was pointless. So I did the only thing I could do—I changed the subject.
“Okay, so we have parallel parking and the dinner. What else can we do if we have to stay just friends? It hasn’t even been an hour since we heard the bad news and I’m ready to throw caution to the wind and kiss you right now. How are we going to get through the next few days? And what if it takes longer?” I let out a sigh of frustration. “I know I’m being a whiner, but, for real, how are we going to get through this?”
“Easy,” he replied, “All we have to do is reinvent our relationship.”
Easy—our relationship was anything but easy. “Reinvent our relationship? In what way?”
“You can just leave that up to me. Don’t worry—I’ll think of something. We’ll still spend as much time together as possible. To be perfectly honest, I don’t want to let you out of my sight. Now that I have you back, I don’t want to be away from you any more than I have to.” He turned down the road to Rosewood and I already had a knot in my stomach knowing we would be separating soon. After the amazing morning I spent in his arms, I never wanted to sleep alone again.
“I wish you didn’t have to go home yet. I wish I could fall asleep beside you tonight—just like this morning,” I said with sadness creeping into my every word.
“I can’t stay all night but I can stay for a while. We could watch a movie or something. We could see if your dad and Shelly want to join us—that way we’ll be less tempted to snuggle on the couch.”
Having a movie night with them was a novel idea. I wouldn’t have even considered that when I was with Lee. But with Zach, it seemed normal. They actually seemed to like him. And he was right—with them there we wouldn’t have to worry about accidentally misbehaving.
“Maybe you should ask them, though. If it comes from me, they’ll know something’s up.”
He parked the car in front of the fountain and opened the door for me. “Alright, but someday you’ll have to tell me why you don’t get along with them very well. My dad and I fought pretty hard over the whole football thing last year but other than that, we get along pretty well.”
“Of course you do—your mom and dad are awesome. Your whole family is perfect. But I’ll tell you anything you want to know—no more secrets.” I put one hand on my heart and the other in the air. “I swear.”
“Good. I’m going to hold you to that.” He reached out as though he were about to grab my hand and then jerked it back abruptly. “Sorry, I almost forgot. I’m not used to having to be on my best behavior yet.”
I was just about to suggest that holding hands might be an acceptable form of affection when the sight of Mimi’s lifeless body on the bathroom floor made me bite my tongue. I couldn’t risk hurting Coco, too. So instead I said, “Yeah, me neither.”
The minute we set foot in the house Dad and Shelly came to greet us.
“I’m so sorry about Mimi—I know how much she meant to you.” Shelly met me with a hug. It wasn’t the same as hugging Zach but it would have to do.
“You can pick out another cat from the shelter…when you’re ready.” My dad stood awkwardly behind her and patted my shoulder.
I didn’t want to think about replacing her but I kept that to myself. I didn’t want to argue with him while Zach was there. I nodded my head and said, “Okay.”
Zach broke the tension by asking them if they would join us for a movie. I figured they would decline the offer but to my surprise—and horror—they accepted the proposal enthusiastically. Shelly suggested we make popcorn and asked me to help her. Dad and Zach offered to help too but she assured them we could handle it and sent them to the living room to wait for us.
Shelly wanted to talk—I was sure of that. Once we were alone in the kitchen, she turned into a giggling teenager. “So, are you two back together again?” She threw a bag of popcorn into the microwave and set the timer.
I could feel myself smile despite how horrible the day was. “Yes, we worked everything out.”
“See! I told you so! All he needed was a little time. He’s a nice boy, Ruby. The kind of boy every mother wants to see her daughter dating.”
“But that’s something I’ll never know, will I.” As soon as I said it, I wished I could take it back. When the smile faded from her face, I realized that when she used the word ‘mother’, she was referring to herself. She wasn’t my mom but I didn’t mean to hurt her that way.
“No, I guess you won’t.” She hid her face in the fridge longer than normal while pulling out the sodas. Did I actually make her cry?
“I’m sorry, Shelly. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. It’s just….” What exactly was it? I didn’t even remember my mother and at least Shelly tried.
“I understand. I really do. I can’t have children of my own so sometimes I forget that you’re not really my daughter. Sorry, Ruby.” I hadn’t made her cry, but she was very close to it.
I don’t know what came over me but I had a sudden urge to give her a hug. So I threw my arms around her and she squeezed me tightly in return. I didn’t know what to say to her so I was happy to hear the timer go off on the microwave. “Popcorn’s done.”
We busied ourselves with the snacks and didn’t speak of the emotional moment we just shared. On the way to the living room, I realized that Coco had been alone in the attic all day so I asked Shelly if it would be okay if I brought her downstairs with us. She said yes and I ran upstairs to get her.
As I approached the living room with Coco sitting on my shoulder, I could hear Dad telling “The Story”. It was a recounting of how he and Shelly first met. I’d heard the story a thousand times and every time I hoped that I would never have to endure it again. The worst part was that he was boring poor Zach with it this time. I sat down on the couch with Zach making sure to sit far enough away that we wouldn’t be touching.
“So I was just getting off of a forty-eight hour shift at Trinity Hospital when they asked me to stay to see one more patient. There was a terrible bus wreck on the parkway so there were more patients than we could handle. They told me there was a lady who’d been waiting to be seen for over two hours because she kept getting passed over for all of the accident victims. So I agreed to see her before I left. I had them send her through triage and when I walked in the room, I was blown away. There was this gorgeous woman sitting there with dried blood all over her face.” Dad looked to Shelly to tell her side of the story. It was like they had their parts memorized or something.
“I was going to paint the kitchen in my apartment but I couldn’t get the lid off the paint can. So I tried to pry it open with a screwdriver. When the lid finally gave way, my hand flew back and the next thing I knew, I had a screwdriver up my nose. When I pulled it out, I started gushing blood. It hurt like hell so I went to the ER where I sat for almost three hours until my hero showed up to take care of me.” Back to Dad.
“I couldn’t believe it when she told me what happened. I still cringe just thinking about it. But she was more worried about me than she was herself.” And switch on cue.
“He looked so tired and I felt bad that he had to stay to take care of me when he was about to collapse himself. But he insisted that he wasn’t too tired to take care of me and all he really needed, he said, was something to eat. So I asked him if it would be inappropriate for me to invite him to breakfast.” Shelly set the story up and let my dad drive it ho
me.
“And I said yes, it probably was, but that I would say yes anyway. We’ve been together ever since.” Cut and wrap.
I thought I might have to wake Zach up after they were finished but he was actually paying attention through the whole thing. And he found it interesting.
“Wow, it’s funny how you can meet the right person in the weirdest ways. Reminds me of how I met Ruby.”
“It does? But we met at the diner and I definitely didn’t have any tools sticking out of my face?” What could we possibly have in common with Dad and Shelly?
“No, but I wasn’t supposed to be there that day—Rachel was. Mom forgot her purse on the kitchen table that morning and asked my sister to drop it off for her on her way to the Chicken Shack and, of course, she forgot to do it. So I had to do it instead. I was on lunch and I didn’t even have a chance to eat. I had to get back to the shelter because Andy was doing surgeries that afternoon and he needed me back on time. So there I was starving and pissed at my sister when I saw that charm fall off of your bracelet. But the second I saw your face, I forgot about all of that.”
“That’s a lovely story, Zach. I think it was fate that brought you and Ruby together. And fate is never wrong.” Shelly said as she passed us a bowl of popcorn.
I wanted to believe that it was true, that it was my destiny to be with Zach. But it was hard to have faith in it when we continued to be ripped away from each other in the cruelest of ways.
“At least not this time, anyway,” Zach replied with an optimistic smile.
I smiled back as Shelly turned out the lights and Dad started the movie. From the very first frame, I knew what we were watching. It was a comedy about two bumbling detectives searching for a killer in a mansion during a thunderstorm. It was rife with clichés and stupid sight gags but it had been my favorite movie since I was a kid. I knew almost every line by heart. The last time I watched it was with Lee a few days before he died. I didn’t have the heart to watch it alone after that. But now that I had Zach, I was ready to live again even if I had to do it one reinvented step at a time. I leaned against the arm of the couch and curled my legs beneath me. Zach sat a full foot away from me with a sleeping Coco on his lap but just having him there was good enough for me.
