by Joy Elbel
We stayed there in the car like that until he said, “Okay, on the count of three you can open your eyes. One, two, three.”
As soon as I opened them, I looked at him. He had that same look of intoxication I saw before only this time it seemed magnified. If I hadn’t known better, I would have thought he actually drank a six pack while my eyes were closed. But I knew he didn’t need any drug to cause that euphoria. All he needed was me. And all I needed was him.
“Goodnight, Ruby. Sweet dreams.” He gave my hand one last squeeze as I opened the car door.
“Sweet dreams, Zach.” And with that, I floated back into the mansion.
34. Sneak Peek at the Snake Pit
Open House didn’t start until six so we had plenty of time to shower and change after leaving the shelter. This was going to be the first impression most of these people would have of me—I didn’t want the scent of wet dog to be a part of it. I fussed forever over what to wear. I had to appear worthy of being Zach Mason’s girlfriend even if I didn’t feel the part. The weather was uncharacteristically cool for mid-August so I happily pulled on my favorite pair of jeans. The ones that made my butt look good. My choice of a top didn’t come so easily. After trying on nearly everything in my closet I ended up going with my first choice—a black logo tee with a lightweight red hoodie thrown over top. I wanted to look good but I didn’t want my outfit to scream “I tried too hard”. One look in the mirror told me I achieved my goal.
Rachel and Boone met us in the school parking lot. Having them with us made me a bit more relaxed. I thought it made the statement “I already have friends so back off and don’t mess with me”. My first impression of the school was of how tiny it was. And how old. My school back in Trinity was at least three times that size and clearly built within the last decade. Charlotte’s Grove High School had to have been built in the eighties and gone without a ton of upgrades over the years. Yikes. Rachel must have read my mind.
“I’m sure your old school was way better than this one, but I think you’ll like it here. The school board pushed to get a new one built for this year, but all they got was approval for some renovations. On the bright side, school starts a week late because they’re behind in their work. The first day isn’t until September 6th. That gives us one more week of summer, baby!”
That was good news. One more week to get rid of my ghosts before I had to endure this new nightmare was welcome to say the least. As we walked into the building, I saw that most of the kids there were freshmen. Or at least I assumed they were. They were all so tiny and frightened looking—that was the only thing they could be. Suddenly, I felt much better. Walking in with two large, handsome senior boys and a gorgeous cheerleader couldn’t hurt the new reputation I was trying build either. The icing on the cake was when Zach wound his arm around my waist and whispered in my ear, “This way I won’t lose you.” My spine straightened and I felt a smile creep onto my face. A pack of large boys hovering at the end of the hallway saw us coming and traded goofing around for staring at us. Or to be more correct, staring at me.
“Mason! Where’ve you been? I haven’t seen you all summer!” The largest boy and clearly the alpha of his pack spoke first. He was about the same build as Zach with tousled brown hair. He was wearing a Red Ravens jersey, as were they all, so I jumped to the conclusion that this was at least a portion of the football team. Quickly, he turned his attention to me. “Stupid question—I see exactly where you’ve been.”
My cheeks grew hot as his eyes swept slowly over me, clearly stopping well short of my face. Zach snuck behind me and wrapped his arms around me. “You see nothing Fedderhoff, and you never will,” he said sternly as he kissed the side of my head and introduced me. “This is my girlfriend Ruby Matthews. Ruby, this jackass is Ryan Fedderhoff.”
“Zach Mason has a girlfriend? I can almost hear the hearts of every girl in school breaking,” he said cupping his hand to his ear mockingly. “And you,” he said to me, “Are you sure you want to date him when you haven’t seen any of the other single guys in town? I wouldn’t want you to rush your decision, or anything.”
The idea of anything about our relationship being rushed was humorous and it caused me to laugh out loud. “Don’t worry—I’m positive.”
Zach laughed too, so I figured he got the private joke. He introduced me to the rest of the boys, never relaxing his hold on me. There was no reason in the world for Zach to worry about any other boy catching my eye, but it was nice to know that he did. After spending the entire summer with no one but Rachel and Boone, I was afraid of how our relationship would change once school started. Needlessly it seemed, because it was clear that he wanted the world to know that we were together.
As we walked through the hallways, we seemed to be the center of attention. Everyone seemed to either be his friend or at least wanted to be. Walking with him made me feel normal. No one here had any idea of the drama we dealt with over the last two months. Or of the traumatic circumstances that brought me to Charlotte’s Grove. Scratch that. I felt better than normal—I felt special.
When we got to the cafeteria, the atmosphere started to change. A flock of girls watched our every move, whispering to each other as they stared. As we got closer to them, I saw why. Misty Landrum stood in the center clearly trying to pretend that she didn’t see me on Zach’s arm.
“Hello, Zach,” she purred as she approached us. “Can I make you rethink your decision?” She reached out a perfectly manicured hand and brought it to rest on his shoulder. “About rejoining the football team.” She glared at me with a look that said her comment had nothing to do with sports.
Zach shook her hand off coldly. “No thanks, I have my hands full with Ruby. No time for football when you’re with a girl like mine.”
Misty flared up like a cobra. “Well, you do have big…hands. When you really want a handful, you know where to find me.” She slithered back into her nest and they all erupted into a mass of giggling.
Armed with a mouthful of choice words for her, I took one step forward. Only to be pulled right back and steered in the other direction. Zach led me out of the cafeteria doors and into the small enclosed courtyard outside. He sat down on a stone bench and asked me join him.
I shook my head no. “Adrenaline overload—the last thing I want to do is sit.”
“I know. But I also know what the first thing you want to do is which is why I want you to sit down with me.” He offered me his hand and I couldn’t refuse. “Talk to me.”
Time to let it rip. “I’m pissed! Pissed that she has the nerve to touch you right in front of me! Pissed that she basically told you to dump me for her! Pissed that she’s insinuating that she’s seen more of you than I have!” I had to stop to take a breath but I was far from finished.
He smiled, “Is that all? Don’t hold back—tell me how you really feel.”
I knew he was trying to lighten the mood, but I wanted to ride that wave of anger until it came to its own conclusion. “No. I’m pissed because I can’t kiss you just to show her where she stands.”
“How about this instead.” With one hand around my back and the other under my legs, he lifted me up and put me back down on his lap.
Once I was perched on top of him, my mood changed. “It’s a start.” I wound my arm around his neck and rested my head on his shoulder.
“Now that you’re calmer, I want to talk. Misty means nothing to me. She only wants me because she can’t have me—that’s just how she is. I wouldn’t be with her even if I’d never met you.” Then he whispered in my ear, “And she hasn’t seen anything you haven’t, I swear. And unlike you, she never will.”
I snuggled closer. As much as I had wanted Misty to see us together, in that moment I couldn’t care less. Being with Zach was the most important part and I barely noticed when she swept by us angrily with her serpent followers in tow. Barely, but I did notice. If we were keeping score, I just put one on the board.
All in all, open house went well and I fe
lt a little less nervous about the impending first day of school. We couldn’t get out onto the football field but Zach and I stood at a second floor window where we had a perfect view of it. He told me about some of the good times he had there before things fell apart. If only I could see him out there—it would be nice to stand on the sidelines cheering him on. But those days were over, and he wanted to move on to better things. One of those things being me.
It was almost nine when we ran onto Rachel and Boone near the gym. “There you are, Ruby. Coach Hunter is here and I want you to meet her. She coaches the girl’s track team. The track team I’m going to convince you to join with me.”
Rachel was serious about it and I was giving it some serious thought myself so I followed her into the locker room. I pictured someone middle-aged, androgynous and slightly frightening. I couldn’t have been more wrong.
Coach Hunter was young and could easily pass for a student herself. She wasn’t wearing the prerequisite bland track suit, but jeans and a tee shirt. Her dark hair was shoulder length with a trendy cut and there wasn’t one frightening thing about her.
“Rachel! You’re joining the team again this year, right? They resurfaced the track—you’ll be un-catchable on that thing!”
“I don’t know, I think I may have some competition here.” Rachel introduced me to Coach Hunter as “Red Lightning”. I liked the nickname even if I didn’t deserve it.
Coach Hunter was happy to meet me. “We need more girls this year—we lost a lot of seniors that I’m not sure we can replace.”
They began to chat animatedly about last year’s team so I wandered into the locker room to look around. The locker room in Trinity was always a reminder of the tortures I endured in phys ed—volleyballs to the head, tennis rackets to the head, and worst of all nearly falling on my head from the balance beam. Joining track might be a nice way to erase those memories and replace them with something more positive. There were still a few younger girls looking around and I felt even more confident that I wouldn’t be the worst girl at sports anymore. One of them looked frightened just standing in the shower—there was no way I wouldn’t be more impressive than her.
I wound my way back to Rachel and the coach feeling braver than I ever thought was possible. “I made up my mind, Rachel. I want to join the track team with you.”
“Yay! I knew you’d say yes!” Rachel pulled out a few cheerleading moves in celebration. “I wish we didn’t have to wait until spring for it. If I didn’t have cheerleading, we could join cross country this fall. Of course, you could still do it by yourself.”
“Don’t push it! I’m already about a million miles out of my comfort zone!” I told her firmly. “Just be happy I said yes to track.”
We left the locker room giggling and ran right into Zach and Boone.
“See,” said Boone, “I told you so! I don’t care what you say, magical things happen in the girl’s locker room. Look at them! It’s just like in the movies!” He grabbed Rachel and twirled her around sending her into another fit of the giggles.
“I don’t even want to know what kind of movies you’ve been watching—and don’t forget, that’s my girlfriend and my sister you’re thinking about right now!” Zach punched him on the arm jokingly.
Now that school didn’t seem so terrifying, everything seemed more attainable. We had the whole weekend to finish reading Scarlet’s diaries and brainstorm on how to get rid of her. And have some bonus snuggling time, too.
35. Plan B…No, Not that Plan B!
The weather was beautiful so Zach and I decided to spend the day at The Hideout reading the last of Scarlet’s diaries. We took a blanket with us and sat down under a large oak tree. The answer was literally at our fingertips and we both knew it. As he was about to open the journal, I stopped him.
“Before we start, there’s something I want to say to you.” He came to my rescue so many times and now that it was almost over, I wanted to thank him.
The night before, I rehearsed what I wanted to say to him until the script was perfect in my mind. There was something I didn’t factor into the equation, though, and that was how the emotion was going to affect me. Or him.
“There were so many times this summer when I was weak and you held me up. Times when I wanted to give up and you kept me going. When I moved to Charlotte’s Grove, I thought my life was over but I was so wrong. It was actually just beginning.” The power of the words I was speaking almost overwhelmed me. He had to know how I felt, though, just in case. Regret over what happened with Lee weighed heavily on me for over a year—I knew I needed to always share what I was feeling with Zach. We would never know when our last moment together would be. “And regardless of what we find today, I need you to know that if we have to, I can wait until next summer for us to be together.”
If Zach hugged me any closer to him, we would have melted into one being. “You can’t even begin to know how much you’ve changed me. Before I met you, I felt like I was leading a double life. On the surface, I had tons of friends and I was the guy everyone wanted to be. But on the inside, I was lonely and afraid that I would never find someone who would want to be with me for who I really am. And then I met you and the minute we touched, I knew you were different. I was ready to wait a lifetime for someone like you—if all I have to wait is one year, I consider myself lucky.”
It was the perfect moment to kiss but of course we couldn’t. Instead, we read. The entries so far spanned about a year’s time, but suddenly they became more sporadic. Months and even years went by without an entry. It seemed that once Levi was gone, life lost all meaning for Scarlet. Reaching the final page was bittersweet.
Dear Diary,
My health is failing and I fear the end is near. For sixty-five years I have searched for the truth behind Lee’s disappearance but I am no closer to an answer. Father maintained the story that Lee left of his own accord, but I have never believed him. Our love was stronger than that. Father must have discovered our love and sent him away. He must have convinced Lee that it was best for me. If I could have only kissed him once, I know things would have been different. He would have found a way to come back for me. He would have believed my love for him was endless. I wonder what became of him. Did he marry and have children? Or did he pine for me as I have for him? I wish now that I would have taken a chance on Alexander. Maybe I could have grown to love him as he did me. Instead, I die alone.
The last ten pages were blank.
“That’s it. She died bitter and alone regretting that they never kissed. There’s absolutely no hope of finding where he went or how he died. She’s obviously jealous of what we have together. There’s no way to change that.” There was no other way around it—Zach and I would have to wait until next summer to be together. “Why do fathers have to be so cruel?”
“I’m sorry. I wanted to find a way to get rid of her too.” He brushed my hair with his hand. “But you’re okay with this—okay with us—right?”
I sighed. “I am. Disappointed, but okay. You?”
“I still have you, so I’m just fine.” He hesitated. “You have issues with your dad, too. Does it have something to do with Lee?”
“I don’t really know. Dad didn’t like him, but he really didn’t try to separate us. After he died though, something changed between us. Dad was different somehow. I’ve never been able to figure it out.” Talking about it was difficult even with Zach so I changed the subject.
We sat together under the tree and made plans for the future. We decided on a college we both wanted to attend and talked about how much fun it would be to share an apartment. The minute he turned eighteen, we would leave Charlotte’s Grove together. Zach thought otherwise, but I was convinced that I would never want to return.
Now that our desperate search for answers had come to a screeching halt, we had to find ways to fill our time until school started. Zach and I went parking countless times. Parallel parking—that is. He was a good teacher and I was confident that I would
pass my test the first time around. Dad and Shelly even promised to buy me a car as soon as I did.
Once the pressure to find answers was relieved, I reached a sense of inner peace. Now I had the chance to just enjoy every moment spent with Zach. Our relationship was different, but in a good way. We did things together that most couples our age never would. Zach’s story about Perseus and Andromeda fascinated me, so we bought a small telescope so we could learn more about the stars. Even shopping for school clothes became a joint adventure. He sat patiently outside numerous fitting rooms to assess my choices. His opinion wasn’t much help though—he said I looked beautiful in everything. It was a long and arduous struggle, but we somehow managed to reinvent our relationship yet again.
We hadn’t spent much time with Dad and Shelly for weeks, and I was surprised when they invited Zach and me to go to dinner with them. Zach jumped at the chance to spend time with them—I was willing to tolerate it.
“I hope to be part of the family someday and I want them to like me,” he answered when I asked why he was so excited by the invitation. Comments like that kept me hopeful for our future.
Dad and Shelly took us to the trendiest restaurant in town, City Lights. Zach thought it was merely a nice gesture to invite their daughter and her boyfriend to dinner but I remained suspicious. There had to be some kind of ulterior motive behind it.
The waitress seated us at one of the rounded booths in the corner. The tablecloth was silvery gray in color and burgundy candles flickered in glass candleholders at the center of the table. With barely any more lighting than they provided, the place reeked of romance. It would have been the perfect date if Dad and Shelly hadn’t been with us. Zach sat in the middle between Shelly and me leaving me squarely across the table from my father.
