by Debra Kayn
"Blues killed Rocky out in the yard in a scuffle instigated by Moroad—there will be no retaliation. Rocky started the fight. The other one was Cameron. He sliced his own throat last week after receiving life." Cam gripped his elevated knee and massaged the area.
Jacko noted Cam's attention often settled on his bum leg lately when business was being discussed. Stache soaked in the information, processing it patiently. Gunner, despite being the vice president, was never enlightened about club business outside of the meeting. Jacko turned his head, rubbed his chin with his shoulder, and watched the others.
Bear gazed into the fire. Johnson couldn't keep his attention on the meeting. Instead, he thought about pussy and eyed the women huddled together. Jacko sprang to his feet and in the process found Merk smoking a cigarette, his eyes on Cam, a frown on his face. As the ex-vice president, Merk formed his own plan on what he'd do for the club, even though he had no power to move everyone.
"Jacko?" Cam said.
He lifted his gaze. "Yeah, Prez?"
"Your turn." Cam stepped away from his place at the fire.
Jacko rubbed his hands together and stepped forward. "See the woman over there with the red hair?"
A murmured yeah went through the men. Jacko pointed at the group of women and smiled. "Do you see the one who keeps looking at me?"
"Yeah, man. We got it." Johnson laughed. "Amy's your woman."
In a flash, Jacko pulled out his pistol and aimed it at Johnson's head. "Repeat that."
Johnson's hands came up and he stepped back. "Whoa, Jacko...brother."
"Repeat what you said," he said on a growl.
"Amy's your woman." Sweat broke out across Johnson's forehead.
Jacko swung the pistol around the fire and grinned as the men jumped back out of his aim. "Did everyone understand me? She's mine. You touch her, I'll kill you. You do anything to upset her, I'll kill you twice. I don't want anyone outside of the club looking, talking, touching, or thinking about her. She belongs to me. Each of you protect her as if you were protecting me, because if something happens to her, it happens to me."
"I think they understand." Cam swung his arm in front of him. "Now, put away the fucking gun before you kill us all."
Jacko slipped the pistol back underneath his belt, pulled out the bag of weed from his back pocket, and threw it on the fire. "Meeting's over."
Bear dove for the flames and snatched the bag out with his bare hands. "Son of a bitch."
It was final. Amy could never leave him. Marked by Moroad, she belonged to him, the club, and to the world that unsettled her.
Amy stood at the edge of the grass with her hands at her sides. Three yards away from her, he stopped. He stared into her eyes. She'd overheard everything, and because she failed to understand what went down, he needed to inform her of the changes.
"Now, you're in," he said.
She turned around, grabbed two beers out of the cooler, and returned to him. "Then, I guess we should celebrate."
He hooked her neck and kissed her thoroughly. She held on to him and returned tongue thrust for tongue thrust. His cock pulsed in response. Yeah, they had some partying to do.
Chapter Twenty One
Jacko rolled Amy over in bed. She groaned as her head protested the movement. She felt all six beers, two shots, and hacking her way through one joint that she'd consumed last night.
The feel good moment was quickly followed by sex in their room and her falling asleep. She pressed her hand to her forehead. One thing was certain, she no longer believed she'd missed out on partying when she was twenty-one years old when other people were drinking, smoking, and hooking up. She preferred a normal buzz from a couple of drinks over blank spots in her memory and feeling like shit the next morning.
Warmth and a soothing caress swept over her sex. Her legs widened and she stretched on top of the bed in pleasure. She kept her eyes closed and went with the comfort Jacko provided between her legs. Focused and languishing, the drinking demons inside her head settled.
He licked, plunged, and lavished her pussy. She raised her hips, seeking to capture the hangover cure he provided. He caught her clit between his lips, rolled the tiny bud with his tongue. Instead of wasting the day away moaning about a hangover, she greedily needed more pleasure to feel halfway human. And, she needed the cure now.
Jacko moaned against her, sending a current of pulses from deep inside of her surging through her body. She reached down and fisted Jacko's hair, pushing him against her. She wanted all the feelings.
Feelings that had lived dormant while she'd survived life on her own.
Feelings only Jacko gave her.
Feelings that only validated her position in a lifestyle that was foreign and scary.
She tugged on his hair. "Jacko?"
He moved up her body, wiping his face on his arm and settled between her legs. "Feeling better?"
"No." She rubbed his chest, his shoulders, and grabbed onto his heavily tattooed neck. "I need more."
He sucked in his breath. "More cock?"
She shook her head.
"More mouth?" He gazed down at her breasts.
She tightened her hold on his neck. "No."
He frowned. "What do you need?"
"Just you." She gasped as he slid inside of her. "More of you."
That's when he gave her everything. Between sucking on her breasts, thrusting and withdrawing and stroking inside of her, he gazed into her eyes. She locked on and the thrill of him giving her his concentration, his attention, and his sanity, she lost control.
He explored her mouth, kissing her hard. His tongue reconnoitered her lips. First a lick, then a nip.
He growled. Her pussy tightened and grew wetter. The sloppy sound of sex filled the room.
His dependency on her touch came through his gaze, begging her to hold on and not give up on him. In return, she held his face and silently promised him she'd give him everything she had if only he stayed with her.
How had they found what both of them needed in each other after everything they'd been through?
Sarah brought Jacko into her life, and her death changed them. Maybe they were both a little crazy to believe what was happening was right.
"Amy," he said on an exhale.
Her eyes wanted to close. She panted as he took her higher.
He swiped her lower lip with his tongue. "Stay with me."
She blinked rapidly and focused. "I'm here."
Her hands shook, and she found the strength to hold his head back, making contact with him again. His forehead wrinkled in concentration. A fine layer of sweat glistened his skin. Her thighs tightened around his hips, reaching, grasping.
"Now," she said, crumbling around him in pleasure. Her mouth opened, and a low moan escaped as her orgasm rolled through her.
"Fuck," he muttered.
His pelvis erratically pumped against her, driving his cock deeply inside of her, until he groaned and planted himself skin to skin, holding himself rigid. She stared into his eyes. The emotional rawness reflected in his eyes. She blinked to dispel the film of tears blocking her vision.
She'd seen something so haunting, so alive, so internal in his eyes, she wanted to ask him what he was thinking.
He lowered himself to his elbows, holding his weight off her, and putting his mouth on her neck. "Gave you what I have, Momma," he whispered.
She turned her head, kissed him behind his ear, and dug her fingers into his back, knowing as soon as he left her body he'd slip back into the position of playing a role to protect himself.
For a few minutes, he'd shed the hurt, the insecurities, the damage he refused to hand over to her and gave her everything. She was greedy enough to want to hold on to him for a little while longer before he allowed himself to hold back from her.
Much later, after she'd pulled herself from the bed, showered, and dressed, Amy stood in the motel room that housed the kitchen appliances and the new washer and dryer. Merk, Bear, and Jacko walked
out into the front parking lot and left her alone.
Through the sliding door, she watched Jacko. Nervous energy bounced through him from the moment he'd stood from the bed earlier and went to help install the new appliances. He chatted non-stop with the guys while she handed them tools. The men barely noticed her in the same room, everyone's thoughts on something more important she wasn't permitted to know.
No one questioned Jacko's talkative behavior. She couldn't understand why not. They were his friends, his MC brothers. They'd known him longer than she had.
Jacko looked at his cell phone, turned, spotted her watching, and danced away from the men and returned to the room.
"Hey." He slid the door closed, pulling the drapes shut. Then he approached her and grabbed her hips. "I need to run an errand. Merk and Bear are staying here with you. When you're done putting in a load of laundry, they'll escort you across the parking lot to our room."
She ran her hand over the patch on his vest. "Where are you going?"
He leaned in closer. "Just out."
She tilted her head and fisted the jean material, forcing him lower. "Don't go."
"I need to," he said.
Disappointment filled her. Lately, the errands that always took him away from her in the beginning had slowed down. It had been ten days since he'd left her bed in the middle of the night. Not once had he ever taken off in the afternoon when it was still daylight and left her alone.
"Jacko...?" She let her head fall forward until his chest braced her forehead. "I know you're trying, but when you leave me without any explanation, it changes everything. You come back even more detached and keep to yourself."
He took her hand and lowered it to his crotch. She raised her gaze to his face as his erection grew. "You feel that?"
She nodded.
"That's yours. It's how you make me feel when I'm with you. I leave, and I'm dead inside like a limp dick. Don't second guess what you do to me or how I react around you. You doubt it, then feel it. That's yours."
She glanced at the closed curtain behind him and squeezed him. "I'll never stop needing you. Not what you give me through sex, but you."
His hand went to the back of her neck. His fingers traveled up into her hair. He wrapped the curls around his fist and brought her full attention back to him. "I need to go, but you take what you need from me. Take it all, because where I'm going, I don't need to feel or think."
Her brows tightened.
He backed her up to the fridge, boxing her in. He captured her lips, showing her the way. She tasted and took, forcing him deeper, harder, faster, wanting to hold on to the sane part of him, afraid the insane part of him would someday win.
"Jacko," she said on a moan.
He growled against her lips. She reached the bottom of his T-shirt and slid her fingers underneath against his warm skin. He'd told her his solid body was hers for the taking, even though sex was not the reason she was with him. She'd take sex with him because she was desperate to hold on to him.
His harsh breath, racing heart, and fierceness a reminder that he tried to give her everything when she asked and his daily struggle to keep his mind on her. She loved how he encompassed her. She loved how he overpowered her. She loved how he gave her the strength to go on past the latest circumstances shaping her life. As if a brighter future together filled with a million tiny moments hovered on the horizon if she held onto him tight enough.
Jacko nudged his thigh between her legs. She pressed against him. Pleasure shot up her spine, and she moved against the friction.
He kissed his way down her jaw to her neck. His tongue left warm shivers in his path. Her hand trailed down his stomach and behind his belt buckle. She wrapped her fingers around his hard cock.
He pulled back, undid his belt, and unfastened his jeans, pushing them to his thighs. He removed a condom from his wallet and rolled the protection on his hardness. "I can't fuck you with your shorts on."
With trembling fingers, she undid the snap and zipper, shimmying out of her shorts and taking her panties with her. The arousal in his eyes made her smile. He needed her as much as she needed him.
He slid his hand between her thighs, sweeping his fingers over her pussy. "You're wet."
"You make me that way." She hooked her finger under the collar of his shirt, pulled down, and leaned forward.
The salty taste of his skin only made her anticipate his next touch more. She sucked on his collar bone, wondering where his fingers would land next and gasping when he lifted her feet off the floor. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, her legs around his waist, and brought his head to the base of her throat.
"God, yes," she hissed.
He pressed her against the smooth, cool surface of the fridge. "I'm taking you hard."
She arched her back and felt him at her entrance. "Yes."
He cupped her ass and plunged inside of her in one thrust. She cried out at the force and pleasure consuming her. Instant warmth filled her body. The muscles inside her pussy greedily spasmed, pulling him in, keeping him closer, wanting him never to leave.
He continued to lift and thrust into her, his harsh breath against her neck. Being so close to Jacko was scary and beautiful.
She was falling in love with a crazy felon who planned to stand in front of a jury and claim he was criminally insane. He never gave her the third reason for his decision to fool everyone in his life about his mental capacities, and it was that unknown reason that frightened her.
Jacko's head came up. She leaned her head forward, until their foreheads touched. His eyes filled with passion, or maybe her own eyes were blinded with her love for him. He left her in a constant flux of not knowing or recognizing what was good for her.
He pulled out slow, entered her hard. Her limbs shook with the exertion to hold on and never let him go. Her body betraying her thoughts, she joined him and laughed, ignoring the seriousness of their hurdles in front of them.
"I can't..." She screamed his name as the orgasm rode through her.
In return, he exploded inside of her.
They stayed entwined in each other's arms, until his legs trembled and his dick slipped out of her. He helped her down. She wobbled, holding on to his arms for balance.
Jacko took off the condom, tossed it in the garbage, and fastened his jeans. She gathered her clothes and put them back on in silence. Sex only self-medicated a growing problem.
Too exhausted to fight over him leaving, she let him kiss her goodbye and stood at the sliding glass door and watched him ride away from her.
Chapter Twenty Two
The hedge blocked Jacko and his motorcycle from the fenced yard. Squinting his eyes, he watched the activities going on in front of him. Nothing changed. Everything stayed the same.
It was here where everything made sense in his head. His pulse evened out and his hands relaxed on his thighs. He needed the time to visit and focus on what he'd set out to do.
Around Amy, the doubts and fear invaded. He needed to remain strong and attentive. It wasn't only his life that was in danger. He had responsibilities and promises to keep.
The decisions he'd made for the last five years pounded in his heart, until he believed he could finish the job. That he could put those who killed Sarah in the ground and keep Amy safe.
He closed his eyes.
I claimed her. I held a pistol to my brothers at the meeting around the fire pit and warned them all to stay away from her, because she belongs to me. She thought I was crazy. It was the smartest decision I've made. I meant every word.
I love her. I never thought I'd let myself give a shit about anyone else, and here I am, tied up inside because caring about her puts her in greater danger and drunk on having her at my side.
She makes this fucked up life better. I never planned to feel for her. Just thinking about losing Amy leaves me sweating. I dream every damn night of men getting their hands on her, tormenting her, raping her, using her, and leaving her for dead. I'm afraid one of t
hese nights I'll wake up and reach over for her and she'll be gone.
That fear enrages me. I want to kill everyone that threatens her. Only one week left, and I'll take the life of Veto Quijada before he even gets a taste of freedom. Then, I'll go after Flores. I only hope like fucking hell, I survive long enough to see this through. I need to make things safe, in case I don't get out of this alive or with my sanity.
I need Amy settled within the club. I can't come back to her, because what I've done will destroy her. She'll never forgive me.
Chapter Twenty Three
Bear handed Jacko a beer, slapped him on the shoulder, and stood beside him. Jacko brought the bottle to his mouth as Amy's hand found its way into his back pocket. He stared out at the woods, detached from the others surrounding the fire and focused on Amy's laughter as Lola talked about Jeremy's new boots she'd bought and Tiff's anger toward the Moroad woman for overstepping the line by buying her boyfriend something personal.
Apparently, Lola found Tiff's jealousy amusing and was on a mission to tell all the women about what happened. The endless chatter kept Amy occupied.
For the last couple of hours, Amy talked, paid attention to others, and let him space out to deal with the party at the motel, but not once had she let him go. If it wasn't her hand in his pocket, she leaned against him or hooked her finger around his pinky.
He took everything she gave him, and gave her nothing in return. Time ticked slowly. He constantly fought to keep his focus on taking out Quijada.
He wanted to join Amy in having a good time, to relax, and enjoy having her by his side and around his club in the chance he never made it back to her. His chosen family would be the ones taking care of her when he ended up dead or locked away.
Her selfless acts left him struggling, knowing his choice to involve her in his life would end up hurting her more.
Despite his fucked up ways, he lacked confidence in his ability to ever give himself fully to her. He couldn't. There was no possible way.
She brought something tangible into his life. A realness he hadn't even known he needed or wanted. Half dead from past mistakes, he'd settled into a routine and acted a certain way to protect himself from getting close to anyone else.
