In Search of Love

by Barbara Cartland

  Exploring further, she found the entrance to the cave where the Pythia had received supplicants and dispensed her wisdom.

  Vanda looked around to see if anyone was watching her. There were one or two other visitors wandering among the ruins and she could see Robert, kneeling down to study an inscription. But nobody was looking at her, and she slipped quietly into the cave.

  At first there was a narrow passage, but then it opened suddenly into a wide space. Light came from two holes in the ceiling, pouring down in straight beams on the ruins of an altar below.

  And suddenly the very air about her seemed to become alive and she felt a strong sensation that she was not alone. She looked around to see if anyone else had joined her, but nobody had.

  And yet there was another presence. She knew that now with total certainty.

  “What do you ask?”

  The silence was unbroken, but the words were there, as clearly as if someone had uttered them.

  “Why are you confused?”

  “Am I confused?”

  “Only those who are in confusion and uncertainty seek my help.”

  “Can you tell me how this will all end?”

  “How do you wish it to end?”

  “I want him to love me.”

  After that there was a silence, stretching for so long that she was filled with dread.

  “Tell me that he will love me,” she begged.

  “I can promise nothing. Neither marriage nor happiness is certain. Even love is not certain. There are some who will never be loved, although they long for love all their lives.”

  “Am I one of them?” she asked in anguish.

  “You must have courage.”

  “Courage for what? To face the worst?”

  Another silence, then at last the oracle's words whispered in her heart.

  “One will come speaking words that are sweet and false. Beware. Danger.”

  “What kind of danger?” Vanda asked. “Will this 'one' try to take him from me?”

  “I see trouble. That which was gained and lost will be sought again. I see danger. I see blood. I see death.”

  “Whose death?” she whispered.

  Silence.

  “Tell me more for pity's sake. Who will be in danger? Who will die? Not him, I beg you. Take me, not him.”

  But the silence continued. The Pythia had spoken, and had nothing more to say.

  At last Vanda turned away. She had asked a question and received an answer. Now she must wait to see what sense it made.

  Slowly she left the sanctuary.

  “There you are,” Robert called, coming towards her. “I was looking for you.”

  “I came to consult the Pythia, to see if she had any words of wisdom for me.”

  He put his arm about her shoulders and squeezed them.

  “What an odd creature you are.”

  “Why don't you ask too and see what she tells you?” Vanda suggested eagerly.

  “No thank you. If something is going to happen, it will happen. Why spoil the surprise? Or then again, it might be something I would rather not know about.”

  'I see danger – I see death.'

  “Robert please – just go down there once.”

  “It's getting late. The light is beginning to fade and we have to journey back.”

  He hugged her again. Looking up into his smiling face, she felt her worries begin to slip away. Why did she concern herself with superstition when he was here, so real and so warm?

  “You have such a lot of common sense,” she said, teasing him.

  “I wish I could believe that that was a compliment.”

  “I never pay you compliments.”

  “True.”

  “Did the oracle tell you anything?” he asked.

  “I am not sure. I did not understand.”

  “That is the way with oracles. Their prophecies can be taken in many ways, so they can always claim to be right. ”

  “But it was so real –”

  “Vanda, it was all in your head. Your own thoughts produced that prophecy – whatever it was. Nothing else.”

  Listening to Robert she felt her fears slipping away. She had imagined the Pythia's warning, because she was afraid to losing him. That was all.

  “What did she say?” he asked.

  “I cannot tell you. It is a secret.”

  He thought for a moment before questioning,

  “Was it anything about us?”

  Smiling, she shook her head.

  “Tell me,” he persisted.

  “But I don't know. It was all so jumbled and confused, how can I tell if anything was about us? As you said, it was simply what I was telling myself in my head.”

  “But that is what I want to know most. What are you telling yourself about – everything?”

  “I just cannot tell you,” she repeated decidedly. “You might be telling yourself something different.”

  “I don't think so.”

  He tightened his arms and drew her close, not attempting to kiss her, but simply holding her against his chest.

  Vanda nestled against him in deep peace and happiness, feeling his heart beat softly against her ear.

  They were interrupted by a call from their driver, who was making gestures indicating that the light was fading fast.

  “We should go,” Robert said gently.

  That evening they dined in the ship's main restaurant, which had been decorated to look like an ancient temple. But to Vanda it was all hollow and meaningless. She had been inside a real temple and she knew that it was nothing like this pale imitation.

  “Are you all right?” Robert asked. “That cave didn't frighten you, did it?”

  “No, of course not. It's only stone. It doesn't really mean anything.”

  She knew she must keep telling herself the same story, so that the oracle's ominous words would not alarm her.

  At the same time she was beginning to feel happier. Robert had asked her if the oracle had said anything about 'us'. And she was wise enough to know that no man would ask such a question unless the matter of 'us' was important to him.

  Now she could hope that he might be hers.

  But for how long?

  'I see danger – I see death.'

  She forced the thought away from her, determined not to allow anything to spoil her time of dawning happiness.

  When Vanda had said goodnight and retired to her cabin, Robert walked onto the deck and stood looking at the moon overhead. He thought of the moment that he had shared with Vanda in the strange, mysterious temple.

  He thought of the Gods who had lived so long ago and yet still seemed to exist now.

  Was this just because they were fascinating or because they were real?

  Or were they only real to those who believed?

  How could anyone know the answer?

  He began to be half afraid that his mind was wandering and descended to his own cabin.

  Undressing quickly, he climbed into bed and fell asleep.

  *

  After they had left Itea, the ship began to make its way to Piraeus, the port from which they would travel to Athens and on to the Parthenon.

  Vanda stood at the rail, looking at Greece as they steamed past.

  She felt as though the trees, the rocks and the occasional glimpses of stone buildings, all possessed a story to tell her if she could only stop and listen.

  It was as though her experience in Delphi had left her mysteriously in tune with the whole country and its amazing history.

  Soon after breakfast they moved into the port of Piraeus.

  They had laughed and talked during the meal, but Robert could sense that her mind was elsewhere, in Greece, in the past. It was clearly difficult for her to force herself to speak of today when she was really living centuries earlier.

  When they were ready to go ashore, he looked at the new hat she had bought in Venice and said,

  “You look delightful. You will soon be surrounded by admir
ers again.”

  “I do hope not,” Vanda stated. “People will seem out of place when all I want to hear is the voice and music of another age.”

  It was their intention to go straight to the Parthenon, but as they passed through the city of Athens, Vanda looked out at the shops, bright-eyed and eager, until at last Robert grinned and said,

  “Shall we indulge in a shopping expedition first?”

  “Oh, yes please,” she replied at once and he laughed.

  Vanda was soon plunged into the fascination of shopping in a foreign land. Above all she was entranced by the pictures.

  She also found some music which she was told was very old. It was sometimes played at a service held on some of the more sacred islands.

  She was so thrilled with what she was seeing that her eyes shone and it seemed to Robert that she was now more beautiful than he had ever seen her.

  “Look! Look at this!” Vanda kept saying as she found something even more exciting.

  He smiled. Her enthusiasm was irresistible.

  He even found himself buying ornaments he would certainly not have bought anywhere else. But because they meant so much to Vanda he began to feel that they were important to him too.

  'Have I really fallen in love after all this time?' he mused silently. 'And with this woman of all women, who loves to tease and laugh at me and treats me with no respect at all?'

  Other women had always treated him carefully because they were trying to lure him on and avoid offending him. But as long as he had known Vanda, she had never seemed to care if she offended him or not. She said exactly what she thought and if he became indignant she only laughed.

  Despite this drawback, or perhaps because of it, he had always enjoyed her company, sensing that their minds were often in perfect accord. Their squabbling was simply the communication of people who understood each other well enough to come straight to the point.

  'We have pretty much seen the worst of each other,' he thought with an inward grin. 'I have seen her when she has taken a tumble out hunting, sitting up, covered in mud and giving a blistering piece of her mind to the luckless idiot who had caused her fall.

  'Then I have seen her jump up and soothe her horse as gently as any mother with a child. I have known her as a damned good sport, a woman any man would like to have as a sister, a comrade.

  'And recently I have known her as a creature of beauty and mystery. And suddenly I was jealous. It was as though the final piece had fallen into place.'

  Lost in this happy dream, he did not at first realise that someone was trying to attract his attention. But at last he heard the sultry, feminine voice, calling him from a few feet away.

  “Robert! Can it possibly be you?”

  He turned round and the smile froze on his lips.

  “Lady Felicity,” he said.

  He hoped he did not sound as shocked as he felt. She was the very last person he wanted to see, intruding on this special time with Vanda.

  He had known Lady Felicity Janson three years ago, when she was one of the great beauties of London. She had been a widow, not an innocent young girl and they had enjoyed a brief, intense love affair, spending several nights together. He had even wondered if she might be the one woman he was seeking.

  But the mood passed. Beautiful as she was, she was also so demanding and authoritative that his passion died. He knew he could never be happy with a woman who tried to boss him.

  He had left London sooner than he had intended merely because he was sure his affair with Felicity had gone too far. He discovered that she had started to make enquiries about how rich he was.

  He was used to being pursued by women. Most of them were young girls, whose parents made the discreet or not so discreet enquiries.

  He had grown to know the calculating looks in their eyes. Although they quivered beneath his kisses, he sensed that their brains were somewhere else, making plans for spending his wealth.

  And he wanted nothing to do with them. He had known it then and he knew it more certainly now that he had found his perfect woman.

  “Felicity,” he stammered again, trying to sound enthusiastic.

  “My dear, dear Robert,” she said in the breathy, cooing voice that had once enthralled him. “How charming to see you again. Whatever are you doing here? Never mind, you will have plenty of time to tell me now we have been reunited.”

  “That would be delightful but I am afraid I shall be here only for a few hours. I am on a cruise and the ship departs tomorrow morning.”

  “But you don't have to depart with it, surely?” she said, putting her head on one side, just as she had done so many times in the days of his infatuation.

  It had been charm itself then. Now it warned him that difficult times were ahead.

  “I am afraid I do,” he said firmly.

  “Oh, surely not,” she retorted at once. “Nobody will mind if you 'jump ship' to be with me.”

  “I am afraid my departure date is fixed.”

  “Nonsense, nonsense,” she said gaily.

  He remembered now how impossible it was to make her accept anything that did not suit her.

  “I am staying with friends in Athens,” she babbled on. “Lord and Lady Faine, I think you know them. I will inform them that you are coming to join us.”

  “But I am not coming to join you,” he insisted, beginning to feel as if he was fighting his way through glue.

  “Of course you are. I am staying here another week,

  and then we can leave and return to England together.”

  She laid a hand on his arm and looked up into his face with a simper.

  “It will be just like old times,” she cooed. “We can get to know each other all over again.”

  It would have been ungallant to say that he already knew far more about her than he wanted to, so Robert merely removed her hand and said stoutly,

  “Alas, I must deny myself that pleasure.”

  “How can you be so unkind?” Lady Felicity asked. “You must know, dearest Robert, that I would rather be with you than anyone else.”

  “We will meet as soon as I return to England,” Robert promised. “But at the moment I am somewhat tied up and it is impossible for me to change my plans.”

  She was still for a moment. Then she murmured softly,

  “You used to change any plan for me. I have never forgotten how happy we were together.”

  He began to feel both alarmed and trapped. Their last meeting had been three years ago. Yet she had slipped back into a way of talking as though it had been only yesterday.

  “Of course we were happy,” he agreed. “I look forward to our next meeting at a later date in England.”

  “That must be not only a promise but a vow,” Lady Felicity urged. “Oh, darling, I miss you. I have missed you ever since you ran away and left me in London all alone.”

  “I imagine there were a dozen men, if not more, to take my place,” Robert replied cynically. “Let me just say you are just as beautiful today as you were all that time ago.”

  “That is what I wanted to hear you say.”

  “And now I must leave you,” he said desperately. “Until another time.”

  He bowed and hurried quickly away in search of Vanda. He found her examining some small marble figures.

  “Look!” she exclaimed. “The faces of the Gods.”

  Robert's eyes twinkled as he offered,

  “I will give them to you, so that you will always remember your first visit to Greece.”

  “Thank you so much!” Vanda cried. “I will keep them near my bed and talk to them every night.”

  Her eyes shone as she added,

  “I expect that's what they are used to and they would feel lost and forgotten if they were ignored.”

  “I wonder just how big your collection is by now,” he mused, smiling at her “Oh, dear! Am I being greedy?”

  “Of course not, I want you to have everything that you want. Now, why don't we go and look at the P
arthenon?”

  He arranged for her purchases to be taken directly to the ship and they climbed back into their carriage to complete the journey to the Parthenon.

  It would be a relief, he thought, to move away from here, where Felicity might reappear at any moment.

  He did not want to have to explain this woman to Vanda. Perhaps later, he thought, when he had made Vanda more securely his own.

  He tried to reassure himself that things would work out well. But he had been badly shaken and as they drove away he could not resist looking back, as though afraid that Felicity might be in hot pursuit.

  CHAPTER NINE

  The great temple to Athene towers high over the city of Athens. It is a beautiful oblong building, with many tall pillars still standing.

  As they travelled towards the temple, Vanda raised her eyes upwards in wonder.

  For a while they wandered through the ruins in silence and then Robert murmured,

  “I remember Alberto saying that he and Ginetta came here when they first met.”

  “Yes, they claim it is a temple to love,” Vanda said. “And so it is – in a way.”

  “In a way?”

  “It is devoted to Athene, who actually represented spiritual development and understanding,” Vanda said. “But surely love is more than emotion, however sweet. Understanding matters too. It is not enough for lovers' hearts to be close. If their minds cannot meet, love cannot last.”

  “How true that is,” he agreed.

  Her words made him think of Lady Felicity, whose mind never dwelt on anything but herself, her own appearance, how much money she could grab, how many jewels she could own. He remembered also that she became violently hysterical when she did not get her own way.

  She was driven solely by emotion, not sweet, generous emotion, but that of a spoilt, selfish child.

  How different was Vanda, in whom heart and mind were perfectly balanced. The ideal woman for now and for the future. For ever.

  He could have cursed at the way he had found her only at the moment when their love was threatened by this vulgar interloper.

  He tried to reassure himself that all would be well. He had managed to get rid of Felicity before she made a scene, which she would certainly do if she had known about Vanda.

  That would surely be the end of the matter?