by James Wolfe
“The elders?” he questioned.
Right, this was something I hadn’t brought up with him.
“Well, yes, we don’t exactly have a government as you humans do, but we have elders who we go to whenever it is necessary. They help keep the village running. Though, they rarely need to address any issues, we don’t have too many issues in the village generally.”
“Ahh… it sounds like you’re living in kind of a utopia then, huh?”
“Yes, I would call it that. And, well, you know you could be living in it, too…”
He raised an eyebrow. “Are you asking me to move in with you?”
I laid my head down my on his pillow, just inches away from his face. “Well, we should talk about this, right? What do we plan to do now?”
“Well, what do you guys usually do once you’ve met your mate?” he asked.
“We just kind of… move in together,” I explained. “We immediately start living our lives together. We don’t have marriage or anything like that. We don’t need it. The day we meet our mates is kind of our wedding day. We become connected forever. So, we basically start living the kind of life that humans live once they get married.”
“And, is that what you want me to do?” he asked. “Just… up and leave my old life? Become the husband of the man who I met a day ago?”
I couldn’t tell from his tone exactly how he felt about that.
“I haven’t made plans. I want you to do whatever is going to make you happy. If being with me would make you happy then… yes. Then that’s what I’d want you to do.”
“You don’t need to say it like that,” he said. “You don’t need to be polite and tell me what you think I want to hear. You can just tell me the truth, the whole truth, about what it is you want. If you could have anything you want, what would that be?”
“Well… yes, I’d want you here. I’d want you to be here with me for the rest of our days. I can’t imagine being a part from you, living my day to day life without you by my side. Now that I’ve found you, it’s like I’ve found air. I can’t imagine being apart.”
“I see…” he said slowly. “So, yes, you’d like me to give up my old life?”
I looked at him seriously. “Is there anything about your old life you’re scared to leave behind? Is there anything you’re walking away from that might be better than being here?”
He shrugged. “I mean, I just don’t even know what ‘here’ is yet. I don’t know about your culture or your life or the people who live here. I’m just… I really have deep feelings for you. And I can’t imagine being apart from you either. But this feels like such a big decision, you know? I’d be basically leaving the human world in favor of staying with you. And I’m not saying I won’t do that. I’m just saying… it’s a lot. It’s something to think about.”
“Of course,” I leaned over and kissed him on the head again. “I understand completely. And I’ll give you all the time in the world to decide.”
I was going to be supportive, though, to be honest, I wasn’t sure what I’d do if he decided not to stay. I had no idea how I’d cope with not being able to be with him all the time. But I’d fulfill any wish he wanted, even at a detriment to myself.
“I need to go see the doctor, he lives down the road. I want to know what time he’ll be coming so I can set up an appointment with one of the elders. Maybe actually getting to see our village and experience life here will help you decide.”
“Yeah… yeah, I think it would, thank you,” he answered.
“Of course. I’ll be back. You just stay put.”
He nodded. “Sure thing.”
It was crazy how much energy it took for me to walk away from him for even just twenty minutes. If I knew he was going to choose to stay here, twenty minutes apart wouldn’t really be a big deal, but since I didn’t know how much time I had left with him, it was about all I could do to not spend every moment with him.
I knocked on the doctor’s door, tapping my foot with impatience as I waited for him to answer.
He did so with a smile. “Alexander, hello. I was just about to drop by your home.”
“Oh, really, were you? To check on Daniel?”
“Yes, if the timing is all right with you.”
There wasn’t anything wrong with the timing. He could go to my house right now to see Daniel, and I could go to see the elders. One of them was always available at the center of town. They took turns, but it was a rule that one of them always needed to be available.
Still, when he said he was ready to see Daniel now, I could feel a lump in my chest.
“Right, okay, well, you can go and head on down to my place, I’m going to go meet with one of the elders…”
He nodded in understanding. “About the fact that you have mated with a human?” he asked.
I knew he’d known.
“Yes… about that exactly,” I said hesitantly.
“And you’re nervous,” he observed.
“Very much so.”
“Don’t be,” he said, “the elders are going to understand. Everyone is going to understand. You cannot control whether or not your mate is a human, people know that. I think people will just be glad that you’ve found your mate at all, after all this time.”
“Really?” I asked. “You truly think so?”
“I do. Everyone in the village loves you, Alexander, they’ll be happy for you,” he said, as he stepped out of his front door and shut it behind him. “I’ll go take care of your mate, now. Good luck.”
The way he said that made me smile… my mate. He was going to go take care of my mate. Finally, finally, I had found my love.
I was still nervous to go talk to the elders, but he had calmed me considerably. I didn’t know what reaction I had been expecting to get initially, maybe a reprimand because our rules with humans were so strict, but maybe he was right. Maybe everyone would just be happy for me.
I made my way to the center of town, thrilled to see that the elder at the square this morning was Andrew.
Andrew and I had always been very close. He had been friends with both of my fathers, who had passed about a decade ago. They were both travelling to another tribe, to deliver food, and had been in a car accident.
This kind of tragedy rarely touched us, as we didn’t use cars, so it was very unexpected. It had destroyed me. I loved my fathers. They were everything to me.
In our tight-knit community, of course everyone came to my aid and helped take care of me through such a difficult time, but Andrew in particular was such a great help. He was there for me every single day for years, checking in on me and making sure I’d eaten and slept and that kind of thing.
Of course, the more time passed, the more healed I became. It still hurt to think about my fathers, but I’d been able to move on with my life, and I saw Andrew a lot less now. But he still held a special place in my heart.
And, if anyone was going to be understanding of my predicament, I think it was going to be him.
“Andrew, hello,” I said, as I walked up to him.
“Alexander, hi!” he said, pulling me in for a quick hug. “I haven’t seen you in quite a while. How are you?”
“I’m… good.” I said. And, for the first time in many, many years, I meant it.
“Wonderful!” he said excitedly, since I rarely ever gave such a positive answer. “I’m so happy to hear that. What brings you to the village center today?”
“Well, actually, I need to talk to you,” I said, looking around at the men walking in and out of shops around us. “Privately, if that’s all right.”
He looked worried. “Okay, well, let’s take a walk behind the shops and into the fields? The field workers are on break right now.”
“That sounds perfect,” I said, as I followed him down a short alleyway in to the back fields.
I didn’t realize exactly how nervous I still was until I was walking behind him down that alleyway. All my nerves came back full force.
M
aybe it actually wasn’t great that it was Andrew compared to one of the other elders. I suddenly was filled with the worry that I was going to disappoint him on a much more personal level.
“So, Alexander, what is it?” he asked, when we were no longer around anyone.
“So, I’ve… I’ve found my mate.”
He whipped around and gleamed at me. “You have?! Well, you had me so worried, I thought it was bad news, congratulations!” he said excitedly as he wrapped his arms around me. “Who’s the lucky man?”
Dammit, why had I started out that way? Now it was even harder to tell him the truth after I’s seen how happy he was.
“His name is Daniel,” I said softly.
“Ah, yes, I knew he must be from another tribe. When did you meet him?”
“Yesterday,” I said, again very quietly.
“You don’t seem happy,” he frowned. “How could you not be happy after finding your mate?”
“I am happy… extremely happy,” I told him, “happier than I’ve ever been in my life, but it’s… complicated.”
“Complicated?” he questioned. “Complicated how?”
“I… I’m not sure how to say this, but… but he’s a human.”
He froze. “Your… new mate is a human?”
“Yes,” I said.
“Wow…” he said softly. “Wow, I didn’t even know that was possible.”
Worry began to bubble up inside me. “What’s going to happen, Andrew? Will this be allowed? Is he going to be allowed to stay with me? What is everyone’s reaction going to be—”
“Alexander, Alexander, slow down!” he said quickly. “Now, it’s an unusual circumstance, but we do not choose our mates! You know that. Of course he is going to be allowed to stay in the village. If he is part of your family, he will become part of the village family, too. It is complicated, as you said, but, Alexander, you have nothing to worry about.”
“Really?” I asked, as relief washed over me.
“Of course! You really thought that anyone was going to have a problem with your new mate? That I of all people would have a problem?”
“Well, I wasn’t sure, I just thought… since humans are so forbidden…”
“Oh, Alexander!” he pulled me in for a hug again. “Since your fathers died, I have been waiting impatiently for you to find your mate. Every day, I have hoped that you’d meet him, so you could rebuild your family and find peace. Nothing could ruin this moment for me, the moment I know you’re finding happiness again.”
I was touched, as I always had been by Andrew’s pep talks.
“Thank you,” I said gratefully, “thank you so much.”
“Of course! And, I can’t wait to meet the young fellow. I only wish your fathers could be here to meet him, too.”
I gave a half smile. “I wish the same.”
He patted me on the back, and we soaked in the moment for a bit before I asked another question.
“So, do you think I should just start… introducing him to people? As a human and as my mate?”
“Of course. No time like the present! You will have to introduce him eventually. No reason not to start now.”
I nodded. “Yes… yes, of course,” I smiled.
It felt like it was all starting to come together for me. I had found my mate, I had told him everything about me, and we already had a strong and deep connection. It felt like it was all working out.
Now, the only thing I needed was to hear his answer to whether or not he’d stay here with me. That was all I needed to make this perfect.
And I so wanted everything to be perfect.
7
Daniel
I waited patiently for Alexander to come back, but, to my surprise, when there was a knock on the door, it wasn’t Alexander but the doctor.
“Oh, hi,” I said to him. “I think Alexander just went to talk to you.”
“Yes, I met him at my door. I told him I was ready to treat you, and he said he would head straight to the elders in that case.”
“Oh, okay, cool,” I said.
“Is it okay if I examine you?” he asked.
“Yes, of course, come in.”
That felt weird, to tell someone to come in to a house that was not mine. But it also, oddly, felt like mine…
God, what was happening?
The examination was very short and to the point. He asked a few questions, shined a light in my eyes, and checked my blood pressure, heart rate, and some other vital signs.
“It appears you’re healing just fine,” he smiled.
“So, I’m okay to go home?” I asked.
He looked shocked by the question for a split second, and then his expression quickly settled. “Yes, you can leave whenever you want to.”
I’m guessing he knew that I was Alexander’s mate, and, thus, even the question about leaving was absolutely insane to him. Because they didn’t leave their mates… and something was clearly wrong with me if I wanted to.
And maybe something was wrong with me. Because, honestly, my life before this had kind of sucked. My dating life had obviously been shit. Just look at the kind of awful men I’d picked to date. Men for whom I’d never had strong feelings. I had a boring restaurant job where I barely made ends meet, and I lived in my crappy apartment…
Compared to this place, it was a hellhole. And now I’d met a man for whom I had real, serious feelings. A man I could see myself loving forever, growing old with. It becoming something real and serious. In this beautiful house, in a homosexual utopia, why the hell was I even hesitating?
Change is just hard, I guess. As crappy as my life was, it was hard to give it up for the unknown. The unknown could be better, but it could also be worse…
And, if I decided this life wasn’t for me, how could I ever go back? If I gave up my apartment and my job, I wouldn’t be able to just go get an apartment after having no income. And, they obviously didn’t have money here. I’d be starting with nothing, and that was terrifying.
I didn’t know this man. I had very strong feelings for him, I wanted to get to know him, but I didn’t him yet. And I was just going to give up my life for him? That was crazy. That was like the craziest romantic decision I would have ever made in my life. And, absolutely everyone would tell me that I was crazy for it, too.
But this was different, right? He wasn’t human. His species had a system for romance. And it never failed, couples never separated. It lasted forever. So wasn’t as if I was jumping in to this with another human. It was more secure…
At the same time, nobody in his species had ever fallen in love with a human, either. I didn’t know how that changed things. The system had never failed when a werewolf had mated to another werewolf, but what if me being a human threw a wrench in the system?
“Do you mind if I take a blood sample?” the doctor asked me, pulling me from my reverie.
“Oh, no, not at all… go ahead,” I said, extending my arm out to him.
He pulled out some alcohol wipes and began cleaning the crook of my elbow before pulling out a vial and needle.
“This will just pinch for a moment,” he warned.
“Don’t worry, I’ve had my blood drawn many times,” I told him.
“How have you enjoyed your time here so far?” he asked me.
“I’ve enjoyed it quite a bit,” I told him honestly. “In fact, I think it may have been the best day of my life.”
He smiled. I could tell he was happy to hear that. He must have been a friend of Alexander’s, hoping that this would work out for him. And I really hope it did, too.
“Are the elders very strict?” I asked him, without thinking about it.
He smiled. “Not at all. And I don’t think they’re going to have a problem with your arrangement at all.”
“So, you know,” I said.
“Yes, I do, Alexander told me. Though, honestly, I could see it on his face the very night he brought you here.”
“It was that obvious, huh?” I
asked.
“Oh, yes, it always is. People can’t hide being overcome with love. And we really don’t bother trying to hide it, either. It’s something we try to show very openly in our village.”
“Yeah, it sounds very utopian here,” I told him.
He laughed. “I don’t know if I’d say that exactly, but there is certainly nowhere else I’d rather be. I certainly couldn’t imagine living in the human world, with all the chaos and uncertainty. We do not have that here.”
“So… it would be crazy for me to be hesitant about leaving the human world for this one, right? Because, I mean, this one clearly seems better…”
“Well, not exactly,” he said, which surprised me. I thought he obviously wanted me to end up with Alexander, so I’d thought he’d push me toward that decision. “If you like your life, it’s not fair to expect you to just give that up.”
“And if I don’t like my life?” I asked.
“You don’t?” he questioned.
“Not really. I mean, the night Alexander found me was the night I broke up with my most recent deadbeat boyfriend. And they’ve all been mostly crappy, and I haven’t ever felt real love for any of them. Not like I already feel for Alexander. I don’t speak to my family. They abandoned me when they found out I was gay. I don’t have that many friends anymore. I work a dead end job, and I struggle to pay my bills. So, why am I still so scared of walking away from all that?”
“Because it’s your life,” he said. “It’s normal to expect you’re not going to be ready to throw away your life.”
“Right…” I said slowly.
“You don’t need to decide right away,” he told me. “Alexander gets the benefit of being sure about you, that is his privilege as a werewolf. So, you could take the time until you’re sure about him, if you want.”
I smiled at him. “Thanks for saying that.”
And I really did appreciate it, because, honestly, I hadn’t really been thinking about that as an option.
Maybe that was the best thing for me right now. To just… date him? To take things slow? Wait until I was more ready? It was not what he was used to, and I knew that, but I was sure he’d do it for me. I was sure he would be willing to give me the time I needed.
