He tossed back the last of the water in his cup and then set it down. "It's what I get for tampering with God's will," he muttered. "Maybe He planned for Mary Katherine and Daniel to be together."
"Well, you know what they say."
"Best-laid plans?"
"No, I was thinking, 'If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you—' "
A flock of birds flew overhead, interrupting him. He raised an imaginary shotgun and fired.
"What—?"
"Oh, sorry," Ben mumbled, looking embarrassed.
Jacob stood and flexed his shoulders to work out the ache. It was a good ache, one that came from hard work. But his muscles hadn't been used like this since harvest. He'd be grateful for a hot shower later and one of the meals he'd frozen last week. He knew the first days back to the all-important planting were going to be exhausting, so he made up some simple casseroles—with recipes from his mother and his sisters—and all he had to do was put one in the oven.
Then he suspected that he'd be sitting around thinking about why Mary Katherine had been with Daniel at the restaurant.
Sighing, he stood. "Let's get back to work while we still have some daylight."
The bishop's home office was as austere as the man himself.
Aside from shelves filled with volumes of books ranging from several editions of the Bible to histories of the Amish, there was little decoration. The big wooden desk he sat behind held a jar of pencils, a desk blotter with a calendar, and the biggest Bible she'd ever seen.
He was dressed very formally in the kind of Sunday suit he wore when visiting the services in the homes of the people of the community.
"So, how can I help you, Mary Katherine?"
"I've come to tell you I want to join the church."
She was surprised that he wasn't surprised but instead stared at her intently over steepled fingers.
"Do you think you're ready? It seems to me that you are still in rebellion."
"Rebellion? I don't know what you mean. I've been uncertain whether I should join and I finally made my decision."
He shook his head. "I'm not as certain that it's the decision you should make."
She hadn't expected this. Oh, she hadn't thought he'd give her some kind of big rousing welcome, but he was telling her no? She took a deep breath. "Why is that?"
Placing his hands on the desk, he leaned forward. "It seems to me that you've had too much exposure to the Englisch world. There have been a number of incidents that demonstrate this. One," he said, ticking off a finger, "you were seen coming out of Jacob's house—"
"I did NOT go into—"
"Do not interrupt!" He gave her a quelling look. "Two, you spoke disrespectfully to your father. And three, you were seen sitting with Jacob in his buggy beside the road."
"Well, I had no idea you listened to gossip and half-truths," she told him, trying to keep her voice level.
Color rose in his thin, lined cheeks. "That's impertinent, young lady. I am the arbiter of correct behavior in this community."
"My behavior has been above reproach," she said, sitting up straight. "I simply locked the door for Jacob that day while he hitched his horse so we could go for a ride. And yes, we were riding home one evening and pulled off to the side of the road to talk. But nothing happened. And so far as my father—I had no idea he complained to you but I don't believe what I said to him is anyone's business but ours."
"He came to me to seek advice on whether he had been incorrect in how he behaved in his home. I advised him that he had not."
Mary Katherine sighed and shook her head. "I'm sorry to hear you say that. It just isn't right the way he treats my mother or me."
"It's a fraa's role and a dutiful daughter's role to—"
The beginnings of a headache began to pound behind her eyes. Stay calm, stay calm! she warned herself. You have to go through this man to get what you want and deserve.
"Bishop, I'm here to begin the process to join the church." She met his gaze unflinchingly. There was no way she was going to be goaded into an argument with him. But there was also no way that she was going to be deflected from her goal. She was going to start the preparations to join the church.
"Are you taking this step to pursue a relationship with Jacob? To marry him?"
"I'm taking this step to become a member of the church and have a relationship with God. That's the most important reason."
He subsided into a silent study of her. If she hadn't grown up with the man who was her father, he might have been able to intimidate her. Perhaps he might have even been able to do that a year ago. But not anymore.
Finally, with a begrudging air, he opened a big book that looked almost like a ledger, and made notes with a ballpoint pen. He rustled in a file for some papers and handed them to her.
"These outline your course of study." He stood. "That will be all."
With that, she was done. She'd set in motion one of the biggest decisions of her life.
She couldn't wait to tell Jacob. Then she'd tell her grandmother and her cousins. Oh, and her mother. And Jamie. A whole list of people.
But Jacob was the most important one. Jacob.
Jacob was hitching up the buggy when he heard a car in the drive. He looked out and saw Mary Katherine paying the driver, then turning to look for him.
He felt conflicting emotions rush through him. On the one hand, his heart leaped with joy at seeing her when he hadn't for a few days. But he felt dread, too. Had she come here to tell him that she'd decided on Daniel?
If she was going to tell him she wanted to be with Daniel, it not only meant the end of his own plan to ask her to marry him—it meant that he'd probably never see her, as she'd be moving to Florida. Of course they'd live there since Daniel loved it so much. Jacob was losing more than a possible wife . . . he'd be losing his best friend.
He sent his horse back into its stall in the barn. Poor horse. He'd thoroughly confused it by making it think it was going to take him for a ride—something it loved to do—but he couldn't do anything about that.
Mary Katherine looked as she had before her mother had fallen ill—happy, a smile on her lips, her stride confident and energetic as she waved and walked toward him.
She stopped close to him, so close, then frowned. "Were you going somewhere? I saw you hitching up the buggy."
"I was going to your grandmother's house to talk to you."
Now that she was closer, he saw how her blue eyes sparkled, how her cheeks were flushed rose-pink.
"I wanted you to be the first to know. I—"
"I already know," he blurted out.
"You do? How could you? I just came from—"
"Someone saw you with him."
"Oh. I guess the Amish grapevine's working better than usual. But I could have just been going in to talk to him about anything."
"You were holding his hand."
She stared at him. "Holding his hand? What? Why would I want to hold his hand?"
"Because you're in love with him."
"In love with him? Are you ab im off—crazy?" She shook her head as if to clear it. "Why would I hold the bishop's hand?" She made a face. "I'm not even sure the bishop's wife wants to hold his hand."
They stared at each other. "What are you talking about?" he asked her.
"What are YOU talking about?"
"Someone stopped by to tell me that you were holding hands with Daniel at a restaurant in town the other day."
"Me?" She was so surprised that her voice came out in a squeak.
Then the light went out of her eyes and her smile faded. She frowned. "You thought that I was flirting with Daniel, didn't you?" she asked in a dull voice. "You thought that I would do that to you?"
He didn't know what to say. Spreading his hands, he shrugged. "I was coming in to talk to you about it."
"Why?" she asked in a bitter tone. "It seems to me that you've already made up your mind."
She spun around and started back dow
n the drive, her back stiff and straight.
"Mary Katherine!"
She shook her head and waved her hand, but she didn't slow, didn't turn.
"Where are you going?"
"Home!"
"Let me give you a ride!"
She waved her hand at him again, still not turning, and her stride was carrying her away from him. He made his feet move and he ran after her, grabbed her arm, and spun her around to face him.
"Look, I'm sorry, it gave me a bad moment, and I was coming to talk to you."
She tried to shake off his hand, but he wouldn't let her. Her eyes were filled with angry tears. "Let me go! I'm not going to justify my actions because you have some petty jealousy of Daniel!"
"But he pursued you last time he was here. How do I know he's not doing it now?"
"It doesn't matter what he's doing. I haven't done anything wrong. Of all the stupid, immature—"
"I know it!"
She stopped struggling and her shoulders sagged. "You've just ruined one of the most important days of my life!"
Jacob must have been so surprised at what she said that he let her go, because she was able to pull from his hands and run from him. A buggy was coming up the road and when she ran toward it, it stopped. He couldn't see its occupant, but Mary Katherine must have known whoever was in it because she nodded and climbed inside.
He stood there at the end of his drive, breathing hard from the exertion of running after her, angry with himself for letting petty jealousy over another man cause them to argue.
She'd said he had ruined one of the most important days of her life. In their miscommunication she'd thought he'd been talking about the bishop . . . there could be only one reason she'd gone to talk to the bishop . . . one reason she'd considered it one of the most important days of her life.
She must have gone to make arrangements to start instruction in joining the church. And the fact that she'd come to tell him made him realize that she was thinking of a future with him, not another man.
He threw his hat to the ground and cursed his stupidity.
The minute she got home, she slammed the door, then winced. She should have walked home. Maybe then she'd have gotten rid of some of her pent-up energy. Tears still burned behind her eyelids, and emotions bubbled up inside her.
"Is that you, Mary Katherine?"
Her grandmother came out of the kitchen, wiping her hands on a dish towel. "Oh, my goodness, what's the matter?"
Mary Katherine swiped at the tears on her face with her hands. She'd managed not to cry when she hitched a ride with a neighbor, but from the minute she'd climbed out of the buggy, the tears had run unchecked down her cheeks.
Leah dropped the towel and rushed to her side. "Are you hurt? What happened?"
"I went to see the bishop—"
"What did he say? I'll have a word with him!"
"No, no, he didn't hurt me," Mary Katherine said quickly. "It was Jacob!"
"Oh, you quarreled with Jacob." Leah put her arm around her and led her to the kitchen. "Come on, I'll fix you a cup of tea and we'll talk about it."
She shook her head. "You can't cure everything with a cup of tea."
Leah squeezed her shoulders. "No, of course not. It's the talking that goes with it."
She led Mary Katherine to a chair and pushed her gently into it before going to fill the teakettle and set it on the stove.
"Did you have supper?"
Mary Katherine rubbed her forehead and slumped in the chair. "No, first I went to see the bishop, and then I went to see Jacob."
Leah went still and walked over to sit in the chair next to her. "It just sank in. You said you went to see the bishop. What about?"
Chiding herself for not remembering what was most important here, Mary Katherine sat up straighter and reached for her grandmother's hands. "I made plans to take instruction today. I'm joining the church."
Leah closed her eyes, and when she opened them, they were brimming with tears. "Oh, danki, God! I hoped—oh, how I hoped and prayed," she broke off and dug in the pocket of her dress for a tissue.
Mary Katherine got to her feet and hugged her. "I never meant to worry you about my decision."
"You didn't. Well, not really." She smiled. "I love what my friend Phoebe says: 'It's arrogant to worry. God knows what He's doing.'"
Her grandmother might deny that she'd worried. But Mary Katherine could feel the trembling in her grandmother's body. It was relief.
When she withdrew her arms, her grandmother stood and bustled around the kitchen, taking out the leftovers from supper and warming them, setting a plate before Mary Katherine and pouring them both a cup of tea.
"Jenny's grandmother," Mary Katherine mused. She propped her elbow on the table and put her chin in her hand. "I guess that's where Jenny gets some of her wisdom. Things she said helped me make my decision."
"Hmm, so is Jenny the only one with a wise grandmother?"
For a moment Mary Katherine was afraid she'd hurt her grandmother's feelings, then she saw the twinkle in her eye.
"No, I, too, have a very wise grandmother."
Unsure if she could eat, Mary Katherine took a bite or two to satisfy her grandmother that she was eating, and then she held the cup of tea in her hands and found comfort in the warmth of the mug.
Her grandmother watched her with kind eyes. "Now tell me, dear one. What has Jacob done to upset you? Wasn't he happy that you'd gone to the bishop?"
Tears welled up again. She set the cup down. "He was upset with me. So upset. Someone had told him that they saw me holding hands with Daniel the other day."
A thought struck her. She remembered being uncomfortable with the way Daniel had taken her hand. She'd hoped no one she knew would see them. And then someone had walked up. Frowning, she tried to remember who it had been.
Hilda! she realized. Hilda had passed by them, recognized her, and stopped to chat for a minute. She remembered how the woman had looked pointedly at Daniel holding her hand.
"What?" her grandmother prompted.
"It was Hilda who saw me with Daniel. She just had to tell Jacob!" She rubbed her aching temples with her fingertips. "She's not a teenager. Why would she tattle like one?"
"Some people just enjoy gossip," Leah told her. "She could even have been misguided and thought she was warning him. There are people like that everywhere, I expect. I don't think she's a happy person. She can't be, really, can she? Happy people don't say things to people to hurt them."
"You talk like Jacob's the only one who got hurt."
Leah shook her head. "No, he's not. I know you're hurting, too."
"This is why I didn't want to get involved with someone." She pressed her hand to her chest. "It wasn't just because I didn't know what I was going to do about joining the church. It just hurts too much to love someone, to place your trust in someone and have them throw it back to you. It hurts too much!"
"So you love Jacob?"
The pain in her chest became sharper as she nodded. She wondered if it was possible to have a heart attack like her mother when she was only in her twenties.
"Give him a little time to cool off," Leah advised. "Sometimes even the best of men don't think before they speak."
The pain and pressure eased as Mary Katherine thought about what her grandmother said, and she found her righteous anger returning. "Oh, I'll give him some time," she muttered darkly. "Because maybe I need to cool off, too!"
She stood. "My head is pounding. I'm going to take something and go to bed early."
"Eating something might help."
Leaning down, she hugged her grandmother. "Sorry, I can't eat right now. I'll stick it in the refrigerator and have it later if I'm hungry."
Her head still hurt the next morning, and it provided a good excuse for her being quiet at work.
Customers came and went, exclaiming over the products. Mary Katherine was happy to see that they were buying after a bit of a slump earlier in the month.
; Now that spring was coming, Anna hummed as she worked on the display window. Mary Katherine smiled at the darling little Easter bunny hats with big floppy ears crocheted in pastel yarns for babies and at the knitted sweaters with baby chicks and such. Draped on a rocking chair were nine-patch quilts with squares of flowered prints made by Naomi and the women who contracted their work to the shop. Amish dolls sewn by Leah were seated round a tiny table, enjoying tea from porcelain cups decorated with violets. Pots of daffodils, hyacinth, and tulips completed the display and gave the shop a cheerful look and fragrance.
Everything said rebirth, renewal.
But Mary Katherine had the same old feelings of rejection and lack of confidence she felt after one of her father's critical tirades. She sighed.
"You did it again."
She looked at Anna. "Did what?"
"You sighed."
"No, I didn't."
"Did too."
"Did not."
Naomi tossed down the quilt she'd been working on. "The two of you sound like children."
"Do not," said Anna.
Rolling her eyes, Naomi marched over to Leah, who was standing near the front window, looking out.
"They're behaving like children," she told her grandmother.
"Am not," Anna called over.
But Mary Katherine saw her trying to hide her smile.
"Why don't you go take a walk while it's slow?" Leah suggested.
"Are you sure?" Naomi chewed on a fingernail and glanced out the window.
"When did you start biting your fingernails?"
"Hmm?" Naomi looked back at her, then down at her hands. She hid them in the pockets of her skirt. "I don't know. I think I'll go for that walk. I won't be long."
Mary Katherine watched Leah gaze after Naomi with a frown.
"What is it?"
"She seems a little edgy, but whenever I ask her about it, she says she's happy." Leah paused. "Very happy." She looked at Mary Katherine. "And how are you feeling?"
"Is something wrong?" Anna asked, looking from one to the other.
"I'm fine."
"What's the secret?" Anna wanted to know. "What don't I know?"
Mary Katherine rolled her eyes. "How to stop being a pest."
Her Restless Heart Page 20
