He rolled his neck, the uneasiness of her intrusion not sitting well. What did she know? “I appreciate your concern. But you don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Oh, but I do. I’ve been there.” She placed her hand on her heart. “Lost my way as the protector for my sub and he fell away. I could not let go of my idle, how you say, bullshit to submit to him.”
“Submit to your sub?” He leaned forward and set the rocks glass on the table.
She nodded carefully, taking in his sudden interest. “Experienced Dominants realize their faults. They learn to achieve absolute Dominance through personal submission.”
“How so?” Her insight into the lifestyle woke something deep within him.
“To love as a Dominant, one will surrender their heart. Remember, Jacob, the submissive holds the power, and the Dominant yields to the trust. Which is the ultimate gift.”
His cowardly departure years ago and today meant nothing in the grand scheme of things. Shane had lost confidence in him. In them. She didn’t feel, in her heart, he would protect her. Leaving her devalued the trust she’d bestowed in him. His mind cleared. He’d never surrendered his heart, and still, to this day, he hadn’t.
He ran a hand through his hair. The thought of putting himself out there and meeting rejection shocked him to the core. Keeping it in was the cocky approach, so his ego wouldn’t take a bruising. It was how he did business. But Shane wasn’t a business. She was the love of his life.
“They are symbiotic. One does not survive without the other.”
She smiled and nodded. “Now you get it.”
He looked at her raptly, wondering why the Universe would present her to him. His chest ached. Time to come clean, submit his lies and his life, even if it meant losing her.
Shane entered the main doors to the club and scanned the dance floor from the mezzanine. Gavin was nowhere to be found. She checked her texts to see if, by chance, he’d texted about dinner. Of course, he hadn’t.
The afternoon had sped by, but she’d noticed Gavin had shut down after his meeting with Blair. He said he was knee-deep in contract negotiations and otherwise distracted. When she asked how his meeting went, he’d waved her off with some excuse about a last-ditch effort to get him back. But before Shane could pursue their conversation further, a falling out with Anna Marie and the new producer on her next album had diverted her. Since Anna Marie only liked to deal with Shane, she had to tackle the issue.
Blair had wreaked havoc on her day. Jealousy boiled over, distracting her from the simplest tasks, and she wanted to clear the air.
As she walked down the stairs, the entire room came into focus, everything clearer without her mask. With truths laid out about being Dom and sub, she refused to hide behind cover. She wanted him to see her. Let the world see her for who she was at least within these walls.
Perched on the stool, she crossed her thigh-high boot-clad legs. She opened her clutch and the club lighting shone across the members only keycard. Star. She would never be her. Starting something new with Gavin, she would be herself. Butterflies flickered in her belly, and she tapped the corner of the card against her chin. A thought hit her in the gut. She smiled inwardly, snapped her purse closed, and found her feet, moving quickly toward his room.
“I can’t believe you know Billy!” Jacob exclaimed. A weightlessness had come over him since arriving at the club.
Billy had been the bartender at the restaurant where he’d taken Shane. He’d teased her, insisting Jacob got to her first before he had a chance to sweep her off her feet.
“Yes. He is doing well.”
Giovanna was a real estate mogul in New York, Las Vegas, and Miami. She owned a dozen hotels, and Billy managed the restaurants and cuisine. He spearheaded the designs, selected the chefs, and organized the openings for each boutique location. She had an eye for reviving otherwise fleabag hotels, giving them a new spin by restoring them to their original beauty with a flare of modern taste.
“Tell him to find me the next time he’s in New York.” Jacob handed her a business card.
“Will do, Mr. Jacob.” A mischievous smile appeared. “And we should discuss collaborating on your record release parties.”
She had won this deal, like she knew she would. Giovanna was the type of woman who always saw an angle for business and seized it. Before he could agree, he caught a glimpse of Shane walking briskly from the bar to the mezzanine stairs. Adrenaline stiffened his body.
Giovanna followed his gaze. “Ah, she is here.”
“Yes, she is.” Her sexy long legs landed on each step to the top. Now was his chance. He stood. “Vanna, it has been a pleasure. Thank you.”
She took his hand, knowing his appreciation meant more than her company. “Submit to her.”
He kissed her hand. “Until next time.”
She nodded as he headed toward the stairs. Shane would not get away.
Passing a few members, Shane drifted down the hall of private rooms, anticipation growing with each step as she wiped her clammy hands on her dress, her stomach bound in knotted rope. Taking a deep breath and shaking her arms, she rushed forward before the determination fled.
“Shane!” Jacob shouted.
She stopped and turned as he closed the gap between them. “Jacob? Wh-what are you doing here?” Her eyes shifted to Gavin’s room.
He exhaled nervously. “I should ask you the same question.” He stepped closer and smoothed her arms. “Shane, I need...”
She stepped back. “Why are you here?”
“Lovely…”
“No. Stop.” She put a hand between them. “Don’t call me that,” she whispered. Her heart quickened. She thought they were done, but seeing his hardened, determined gaze floored her.
The gusto left his body. “Listen.”
“We said everything we needed to.”
The last time they kissed, the passion no longer existed. She had emotionally separated. Moved on. But seeing him infuriated her. Caused her heart to rip in two. If she were over him, she’d feel nothing, right?
He gripped her arms gently. “I thought the same thing, but there was something I didn’t say.”
“No. Please stop. I can’t…” Tears spilled down her cheeks. She could not keep doing this with him. To him. To herself. She stopped her lip from quivering and jutted out her chin. “There’s nothing anymore.”
“But there can be,” he frowned.
“We had our chance. I’ve moved on.”
“Moved on to him, you mean.”
“Don’t do this here.”
“Don’t tell me how to be, Shane,” he said in a low voice. His green eyes flared as fury poured from his body, jealousy flashing across his face.
His forceful words triggered something deep and familiar. He had been her first in a lot of ways. The control and the desire to obey swept her under his spell. She blinked and shook off the dazed state.
“It’s over.”
He pushed her against the wall. Gripping her wrists, he restrained them behind her back and laid a smoldering, wet kiss on her lips. Without warning, she fell into it. Heat surged in her loins, flooding arousal between her thighs. His tongue commanded her mouth, in absolute control, so much so she faltered. There he was. The all-encompassing Jacob she knew and hadn’t seen since before her father died, and he fragmented her resolve.
Her eyes closed. His hard body pushed against her. A masculine, spicy scent enveloped her senses. This level of devotion and rapture hadn’t been there since they were together. The hallway seemed to be engulfed in the inferno of their lust. She whimpered into his mouth. Her brain met her desire when she broke away from his grip.
“I said, stop!” she said, panting from his kiss. She held her hand out in front of her when he tried to surge forward. “This isn’t right. This isn’t how things should be.”
“Shane, I lo–”
“Fucking stop, Jacob!” She couldn’t bear to hear the word lingering on his lips. She glanc
ed down the hall to her destination. The door leading to her future with Gavin. “It’s too late. It’s too fucking late.”
He deflated. Looked out of his element. Unsure. Unknowing. A flash of comprehension flickered in his eyes. An understanding she held a different fire, and the flame was meant for someone he knew. He straightened his jacket and cleared his throat.
“You’re here for Gavin,” he declared. “He’s dangerous, Shane. You need to watch out for him.”
Her brow wrinkled, and a laugh escaped her. “Funny. He said the same about you.”
He swallowed, not denying it. “And you believed him?”
Her hands lifted and slapped against her thighs. “I don’t know what to believe anymore. Except this is over.”
He ran his hands through his hair and placed them on his hips. She could see his struggle. His denial. His apprehension, protection, and anger separating within a vortex of emotion, and this time, there was no putting it back together.
He advanced toward her and in a low voice, spoke words she would never forget. “When things go south, don’t come running to me.”
“Resorting to threats? How dare you. I waited for you for two years. Two fucking years and not so much as a phone call. Even after everything we had together!” She boiled, disgusted by his last ditch effort. Hot tears spilled down her face. “Don’t you see? I couldn’t wait any longer for you to man up. I cried for you, wasted the last two years of my life on you. Now you change your mind, and I’m supposed to change my direction? Fuck. You. Don’t put your shit on me,” she snarled.
He straightened, eyes narrowing in pain. “Don’t act like the other night meant nothing. We both know I came clean for what happened.” His eyes raked over her. “Unlike you.” The hatefulness in his words burned. He’d never acted this way. He stared and left.
She wiped her tears, rubbing the smeared mascara she assumed was running down her face. She never wanted it to come to this with Jacob. She took a deep breath as she leaned against the wall until she gathered the strength to walk to Gavin’s room.
S: Can we meet for dinner?
A deep exhale escaped Gavin. He hadn’t answered, contemplating whether a public place would be wise to reveal the deceitfulness he’d inflicted on her. He’d gone over scenarios in his head from giving Blair her thirty days to denying her and staying with Shane. Including the one in which he told Shane the entire truth. All forks in the road ended with losing her.
He rubbed his face. Whatever Blair had in mind, he would do. He could contain the aftermath at least and perhaps have a chance with Shane in the future. Blair was a loose cannon, and understanding the depths of her insanity and how far she would go to take down Shane had to be dealt with first.
His phone rang. “Hello.”
“Sir? Shane has arrived,” Candy said. She had standing orders to alert him whenever she checked into The Resort.
“Thank you.”
He stood, taking the black mask from the desk. Grazing his thumbs over the raised pattern, they reminded him of scars. Permanent markings of a man hiding behind his past. He tossed it on the desk. Shane wouldn’t understand his motives at first when he left, but she would later on.
Telling her it was over meant seeing disgust and betrayal on her face. A look he was used to with his family and friends after Nicolette died. These were the wounds he carried. A man always searching for ulterior motives to propel him forward, and what had he lost?
Shane.
Jacob stomped down the hall, fury burning him all over. Fucking Gavin? Could she not see past the veil he’d placed over her eyes? He ran his fingers through his hair as Gavin appeared from a doorway.
“Mr. Andrews. Enjoying your evening?”
Jacob snatched the lapels of Gavin’s suit coat and pushed him against the wall. “How long, Gavin?”
In a calm state, Gavin’s brows twitched. “How long, what?”
“Shane, asshole. How long have you been messing with her?” Spit flew from his mouth.
“I suggest you contain yourself. I’m not messing with Shane. We are together.” Jacob’s grip loosened. “She doesn’t love you anymore. Hasn’t for long time from what I can tell. Never mentioned you, actually. It’s not my fault she fell for someone who can take care of her.”
“Fuck you.”
“What do you want with her anyway? Guilt? Wasn’t your side deal a way to forget her?”
“Our side deal, asshole. I assume you haven’t told her or she wouldn’t be here.”
Gavin smirked. “Assumptions don’t seem like your game.”
He slammed Gavin against the wall. “She’s worth so much more than a conniving prick only around to take advantage. You don’t even know her. What she is and what she means.”
His brows mocked Jacob. Gavin peeled his fingers from his lapel. “And you do? Funny. Maybe this was never about her. Maybe it was about you getting ahead.”
“And what about you?”
He shrugged and straightened his jacket. “Did it ever occur to you, Jacob, there is more to life than business? Shane is life. And yes, I fucked up, but at least I’m willing to admit my wrongdoings in order to prove to her she’s worth it. When I approached you about Icarus Descending, I knew nothing about Shane personally. I had an image in my head as to what she was. Wrong, yes. But now I see her. Given your long-time relationship with her, what’s your excuse?”
“What does that have to do with anything?”
“It has everything to do with it. Don’t you see? People change. And Shane changed me. And you appear to be the same guy from all those years ago, still putting yourself first.”
Jacob curled his hands into fists as the blood thumped in his ears. “Fuck you. You know nothing about change.”
“Who did she choose?”
The question penetrated past the rage in Jacob’s head. Shane didn’t choose him even when he propositioned her months ago. Her hesitation. Her agreement to nothing but an arrangement should have set off bells in his head. Yet his fucking ego stood in the way.
“How does it feel to lose at something?”
He tapped a finger against Gavin’s chest. “She is not a prize.”
“Your words…and you’re right, she isn’t. She’s meant to be treasured. Yes, I’m a bad person. Was a bad person. But she touched something inside. I want to be a better man. For her. Not me. Can you say the same?”
Jacob swallowed. As much as his gut told him to pummel Gavin, he wasn’t incorrect with his statement. Being a better man meant more than understanding the meaning of it; it meant showing it. The last few months had swarmed around winning her back. Winning. Not earning her trust or love. His own needs were still put ahead of hers. Again. Suddenly, his entire life with Shane flashed before him. The shadows of his ego had prevented her from being in the light. Becoming his light.
“I didn’t think so,” Gavin said as he walked away to find the woman Jacob lost to a man no better than himself. The wrong man. No, the wrong men. Neither was worthy of earning her trust.
As Gavin swung the door open, he half expected Shane to be kneeling out of habit. But there she was. Standing. All the magnificent beauty in her bared face was surreal.
“Gavin…”
Striving to be a better man for her was the only way. And shedding the physical mask was the first step. He approached her. The room felt like a vacuum, sucking the air from his lungs. He wanted to tell her how he felt, a feeling he’d never shared with anyone.
“Hey,” he finally said, breathing out.
Her eyes flickered over his face. “It’s…” She put her hand out and he closed his eyes, her soft skin touching him. “…it’s weird seeing you here without your mask.”
He cupped her hand and kissed her palm. “Yeah. It is.” He hugged her tightly, and she let him. He didn’t want to let go. “Are you okay?”
“Just happy to see you.”
He grimaced, tightening his grip at the small of her back. “You’re lying.”
“I am happy to see you.”
“Nice try. There’s more.” He narrowed his gaze.
“How did you know?”
“You rub your lips together when there’s something up.”
The corner of her lip curled as her fingers grazed his jaw. Tingles shot down his body. “Watching me closely, huh?”
“Always. Tell me what’s wrong.”
She sighed and nuzzled into his shoulder. “It’s Jacob. He’s here and…” They separated. “It’s hard seeing him.”
He could break steel with the tension squeezing his muscles. Had she changed her mind? “What way?”
“What’s going on with you two?”
“I don’t like him.” He clenched his jaw as he tightened his grip around her. Shane was his.
“The feeling is mutual, apparently.”
“You’re the one thing we have in common. I don’t want you near him. You’re with me now.”
Her mouth dropped open as she pushed away. “We have history and work in the same industry. We’re bound to run into each other.”
“Exactly the reason. History. Stay away from him.” He ran a hand through his hair. He’d crossed the line, but he couldn’t afford for his side deals with AMG to become a news release too. One thing at a time. Video first.
“Jesus.” Her hands went to her hips. “And what about Blair?”
“What about her? I told you I sent her away.”
There was her lip rubbing again. Guilt slashed his insides to pieces. “I don’t want to fight, please. Can we let it rest?” His voice cracked. It felt like days since he’d slept, with only hours having passed since Blair’s ultimatum.
“Gavin, what’s wrong?”
“We lost so much, and time is working against us.”
She softened and smiled. A thumb smoothed over his eyebrow to relax the permanent crease he’d created. “We have so much of it.”
If only that were true. They had less than twenty-four hours together. And he had to show her something. One thing, he hoped, would bring her back after he broke her heart. It would lay the pathway to a possible future after Blair. She deserved it even if the future didn’t exist.
Beyond the Masks Page 23
