by Ella Sparkle
Two weeks to miss her. Two weeks without feeling her in my arms. Two weeks without seeing her smile. Two weeks spent wishing I'd told her I loved her. Instead, once again, I drove away and left the woman I loved.
Fuck, it was going to be a long two weeks.
Chapter 48
Jenna
“Hey, early bird! To what do I owe the pleasure of this wake-up call?” Cassie said after she answered the phone on the fourth ring.
“I'm sorry! I didn’t realize you were still in bed!” I looked at the time on my phone. “Wait, it's after ten in the morning! What are you doing still in bed?”
“It was a late night,” Cassie said with a giggle.
“Who is it? Is that Jenna? Good morning, Jenna!” I heard Mike shout from the background.
“Shhhh...” Cassie was still giggling. “I'm on the phone. Go back to laying there looking all adorable and sleepy.”
“Cassie! Is Mike there with you? Good grief! Why did you answer the phone?” I could feel myself starting to blush and I wasn’t even with them.
“Because I have barely had a chance to talk to you since you left two weeks ago and I miss you. Forgive me for the enthusiasm I had when I saw your name flash up on the phone.”
“I miss you too! It's been crazy here. I'm in class all day and studying by myself or in a study group every night. I haven't had time for much else.”
“I get it. Doesn’t mean I have to like it though. I'm still super proud of you for becoming an ultra-hot, badass lawyer lady.”
“Thank you, Cass. I miss you tons.” I really did. Being away from Cassie had been tough. “Hey Cass, I am going to do a total topic switch on you... have you seen Nick lately?” I chewed on my lower lip, nervous about what her response was going to be.
“I saw him briefly at a work event earlier this week. It was a celebration for the groundbreaking on the Rickson Estates project. Why?”
I sighed. “It’s just...I haven't heard from him for few days and he's supposed to be here today to spend the weekend with me. I wanted to figure out for sure what time he is coming so I can finalize some plans for us.”
“Have you talked to him much since you left?”
“It's been sporadic, we've been talking and texting a bit. I’ve left some messages for him and sent him some texts, but haven’t heard back from him in a few days. I'm starting to get worried. How did he seem when you saw him? Is he doing okay?”
Cassie didn’t respond right away which made me nervous. “Honest answer? No, honey. He didn’t seem okay. He looked... well, he looked pretty fucking rough. Like he hadn’t slept for days. He didn’t stay long and seemed really distracted while he was there. I tried to go and talk to him, but it kind of felt like he gave me the slip.”
That made me even more worried about him. “Oh no! Do you think he's sick?”
“I think he's lovesick,” Mike shouted. “He's been in the shop a few times to grab a pizza and always asks about you, Jenna. I think the guy really misses you.”
I could hear Cassie rustling around in her bed. “Stop listening to my phone call and shouting from the damn peanut gallery!”
“It's hard not to hear when you're laying right next to me.” I couldn’t see him but I knew Mike was smiling and rolling his eyes.
“Hey! Guys! Focus! No pillow talk while I'm on the phone to hear it!” I didn’t trust them to keep things G-rated while they were in bed together and there was no way I wanted to hear any of that, thank you very much. “If he misses me so much, why isn't he returning my calls? I'm super excited to see him this weekend and all I want to do is talk to him.”
“I have an idea about that,” Mike shouted.
“Here, I'm handing the phone to Mike so he'll stop shouting and you can hear him. You know, since he has totally interjected himself into our phone conversation.” Knowing Cassie the way I did, I was certain she stuck her tongue out at Mike as she handed him the phone.
“Again, I am right here and it is impossible not to hear the two of you talking.” I could hear Mike sigh as Cassie handed him the phone.
Now it was Cassie’s turn to shout from the background, “I'm going to go make some coffee while you two chat!”
“Okay, Jenna, you need to look at this from his point of view,” Mike sounded very serious as he started in on the conversation.
“How do I do that?”
“Luckily, I am here to be your guide,” Mike said with a chuckle. “Picture this: you unexpectedly meet someone you are totally into. Everything is going great, only it turns out your ‘someone’ had this big life change all planned out and put into motion before you'd even met.”
Even though Mike couldn’t see me I nodded my head. “Okay. With you so far.”
“This raises several interesting questions. Do you try to stop the life change from happening for the other person, or do you just accept that it is going to happen? Where do you fit into another person’s life change if you were not a factor when the decision to make the change happened? Is there even a place for you in this life change?”
It felt like a lightbulb was starting to flick on in my head. “Oh my goodness, Mike! I never even considered any of this!”
“Well, kind of hard to do when you two crazy kids lack so much in the communication department on the tough stuff.”
I decided to ignore his jab. I was too invested in the idea of finding out more about where Nick was coming from. “So let me get this right, you're saying he might really have feelings for me? He might just be acting this way because he doesn't want to stand in the way of me going to law school, and he may not feel like he fits into this new part of my life?”
“We have a winner!” Mike’s voice sounded all goofy like he was announcing the winner on a game show.
I chewed on my lip as I thought more about it. “I don’t know, Mike. What if he's just realized he isn’t into me and doesn’t want this?”
Mike sighed like the answer was so obvious. “If that was the case then why would he be asking about you? Or take any of your calls? Or respond to any of your texts?”
It all made so much sense. “Thank you for this, Mike! I feel a new sense of hope. I am going to make this work! This weekend when he's here we really are going to sit down and talk to figure things out.” I was feeling better than I had for the past several days.
“I am back! What did I miss?” Cassie shouted in from the background. I could hear the phone rustling as Mike handed it back to her.
“Your boyfriend is a pretty good guy, Cass.”
“Yeah,” her voice grew soft, “I came to that conclusion a while ago. I think I'll keep him around. For now.” I heard the rustling of blankets as Cassie started laughing and shrieking.
I instantly felt uncomfortable. “Well, okay guys! Sounds like you have moved on to other activities! I'm going to hang up now!”
“Bye, Jenna!” Cassie shouted, still laughing.
“Bye!” Mike shouted as I quickly hung up.
For the first time in weeks, I felt like I had a clear idea of what I wanted and, at least, some better insight into why Nick had been acting so vague and aloof. We were going to work it out and things were going to come together. I needed to tell Nick I loved him and show him he was still an important part of my life. To let him know I wanted us to work despite being physically apart.
I just had to wait for him to arrive so we could get everything sorted out.
Chapter 49
Jenna
Morning turned into the afternoon which turned into evening. I hadn't heard from Nick and the more time passed, the more worried I got. I tried to call him a few times, but each time it went straight to voicemail. I decided to try one more time and was surprised when he answered.
“Hellllllllllllo. Is this Jenna?” Nick’s words sounded slow and slurred. I immediately had a bad feeling.
“Hi, Nick. This is Jenna. I haven’t heard from you all day and I was starting to get worried. Are you... are you okay?”
&nbs
p; “Mmmmmmmm... I'm all good now.”
I hesitated before responding. I had to ask him, even though I knew the answer. “Nick, are you drunk?”
“Been having a few drinks, yes.” He was having trouble getting his words out.
“Where are you, Nick?” My pulse was racing and I started to feel an overwhelming sense of dread in the pit of my stomach.
“At my... at my house, Jenna.”
“What's going on, Nick? You're supposed to be here visiting me for the weekend. Why are you home and why are you drunk?” The silence on the other end of the phone lasted so long I worried he had passed out. “Nick! Nick! Are you there?”
“I can’t come. I'm sorry, Jenna. I just can’t do it.”
“You can’t do it or won’t do it?” I choked on the words in my throat. What the hell was going on? I was on the verge of tears but I tried to hold them back and keep calm.
“Can’t do it. Just can’t do it, Jenna Morgan. This is too hard.” Nick slurred his words as he continued to drink between statements.
I couldn’t help it anymore. The tears started to escape down my cheeks. “Were you even planning on coming or were you just going to blow me off?” The tears rolling down my face as a mixture of anger, hurt, and disappointment washed over me.
“I wanted to. All I want to do for you Jenna is the right thing. This is so hard... the right thing. I can’t keep fucking up. You deserve better, Jenna.”
“What are you talking about?” I asked through my tears.
“This! You! Me!” Nick shouted into the phone in a frustrated sounding growl. I heard glass shatter in the background.
“Nick! Are you okay? What just happened? It sounded like something broke!” I was worried he hurt himself.
“I threw the bottle at the wall. It broke. I am not okay. I just threw a bottle at the wall.”
“Nick, you're scaring me. Do I need to call someone to come help you? Did you cut yourself?”
“No cuts,” Nick said in his slurred speech. “No one can help me with my hurt. It just keeps getting bigger. I miss you too much.”
I was so confused about what he was saying and what was happening. “Nick, I am not sure what you are talking about. Tell me what is going on. Help me understand how I can help you.”
“It wasn’t supposed to be like this.”
“What wasn’t supposed to be like this?” My heart raced and I was pacing back and forth in my living room. I was starting to feel frantic and desperate. I hated that there was a distance between us... physically and emotionally. I hated that we hadn't been really open with each other, the way we should have been before I left. It felt as if everything had just grown into a bigger, more complicated mess and I had no idea how to fix it.
“Jenna, this is just not working and it is time to move on,” Nick said.
I gasped, then choked out a small gurgling noise as the words rang in my head.
The same words Brett sneered at me when he broke up with me on graduation day.
The same worlds Cynthia used when she fired me from my dream job.
Now the words Nick was telling me.
I couldn’t breathe. Everything felt like it was closing in around me. I started to gasp for air as I sunk to the floor.
‘This is just not working and it is time to move on.’ I knew what it really meant. I was not working and it was time to move on from me.
I dropped the phone as I started sobbing. My heart felt like someone had ripped it out of my chest and stomped on it. I gasped for air as my chest tightened and waves of nausea washed over me.
Somewhere in the far off distance, I could hear Nick still on the phone. “Jenna! Jenna! It wasn’t supposed to be like this! I'm sorry Jenna. Goodbye. Goodbye, Jenna. I am sorry. I am so damn sorry.”
The phone went silent. The only sounds in my apartment were the sobs consuming my body and my heart shattering.
I took a few minutes and tried to take some deep breaths before picking up my phone. I knew what I had to do. I dialed the number with shaking fingers. “Hello? This is Jenna. I need you right now. I need you now more than I have ever needed anyone before.”
Chapter 50
Nick
The phone ringing sounded like a jackhammer smashing into my head. I didn’t even open my eyes as I felt around for it. “Hello?” I said in a thick and groggy voice once I found it and answered the call.
“Nick. It sounds like I woke you up, did I?” I couldn’t quite focus on what the person on the other end of the phone was saying. It was way too early, and I was way too fucking hungover, to fully comprehend what was going on.
“Yes, you woke me up,” I snapped. “Why are you calling?”
“Well, it is noon on Monday so get your ass out of bed and meet me at Pete’s Pizza in twenty minutes,” the voice on the phone snapped back at me. It was only then it finally sunk in that Cassie was the one calling me... only, I had no idea why.
Her words slowly continued to sink into my pounding head. “Wait, it's noon on Monday?”
Cassie snorted. “Actually meet me in thirty minutes, and be sure to take a shower before you leave. I don’t want to deal with you smelling like a whole fucking weekend of stale booze and regret.”
“Mmmmmmmm hummmmmm,” I moaned into the phone. I just wanted to hang up and go back to bed. Or actually, get into bed since I had passed out on the sofa.
“Nick Blaine, I am serious!” Cassie shouted so loudly it caused my eyes to fly open. I immediately shut them. The light pouring into my condo was way too bright. Cassie continued talking, “This is not optional! I am setting the stopwatch on my phone and if you are not sitting across from me at Pete’s in thirty minutes, I am coming after you.”
I groaned... fuck, my head hurt. “Why?”
“Why will I be coming after you? Because I will be incredibly angry, Nick. In case you have not figured it out yet, I can be really fucking scary when I am angry.” I had no doubt at all about that. Cassie could be scary sometimes even when she wasn't angry.
“No, why do you want me to meet you?” I slowly tried opening my eyes again.
“Why do you think, you idiot?” Cassie snapped at me. Clearly, it had been the wrong thing to ask. “Who is the one person we have in common? I am hanging up now and starting the timer. Get going!”
I rolled off the sofa and fell onto the floor. Fuck, I felt like shit. I knocked over a couple of empty bottles of whisky as I stood up. Damn, for a moment, I couldn’t remember why I thought a weekend of drinking my weight in whisky was a good idea, and then it all came flooding back to me. Everything I had been trying to forget. I rubbed my eyes trying to get the image of Jenna out of my head. Fuck.
I stumbled to the shower and turned on the water. As much as I didn’t want to, I knew I needed to go meet with Cassie.
***
With two minutes to spare, I walked through the front door of Pete’s. The bell clanging made me cringe. Despite the shower and downing a couple of bottles of Gatorade on the way, I still felt like shit. In more ways than one.
“She's at a table in the back waiting for you.” Mike greeted me with a very clipped tone as he glared at me from behind the counter.
“Thanks, man,” I mumbled back.
“Listen, I know Cassie can take care of herself, but if you act like a jerk or even show her an ounce of disrespect, I will be back there in a heartbeat. I don’t mess around when it comes to her.” The way Mike looked at me as he said it left no doubt in my mind how serious he was.
I put both hands up. “I'm not looking for trouble.”
“Well, for a guy that's not looking for trouble, you sure have caused a lot of it lately,” Mike snarled. He nodded his head to the right. “Go on back. I have customers to attend to.”
I walked into the back part of the restaurant and saw Cassie sitting at the furthest table. “Nick, sit down and take your sunglasses off. I am sure you are hungover as hell, but you don’t get to try and hide. Not for this conversation.” Her voic
e was pure ice and, I am not going to lie, that, coupled with the look on her face, scared the crap out of me.
“Yes, ma’am,” I replied.
“Good answer.” Cassie waited for me to pull out the chair across from her and sit down. She slowly and deliberately leaned forward which, somehow, just made her more intimidating. Cassie was the kind of loose cannon you didn’t fuck with and it was clear she didn’t have any goodwill towards me. “Now listen to me. I spent the four-hour car ride back here this morning thinking of all the ways that I was going to end you and dispose of your body for what you did to my girl, Jenna.”
I hung my head in shame. “I would deserve it. I have really fucked all of this up and destroyed everything good we had,” I mumbled.
“I am glad we can agree on something. It wasn’t until I hit the city limits that I realized things may not be entirely your fault. Don’t get me wrong, you totally acted like a giant fucking jackass, but there are probably some things you may not fully understand about Jenna.”
My completely hungover brain caught up to the fact she had made a four-hour car ride and had seen Jenna. “Wait? You were with Jenna? How is she?” I lifted my head up as my heart seemed to skip a beat just hearing her name.
Cassie looked at me with complete disgust. “Not good, Nick. She's pretty broken. She called me Friday night after your poor drunken excuse of a phone call. She needed me, so I drove there that night and stayed all weekend with her.”
My head dropped again. I didn’t think it was possible to feel much worse, but Cassie’s description of Jenna sent me to a new low. “I am sorry. It wasn’t supposed to be like this,” I mumbled.
“Jenna said you keep saying that, only she has no idea what it actually means. Care to fill me in?” Cassie raised an eyebrow at me as she drummed her red manicured fingernails on the table. I couldn’t bring myself to respond. “Right.” Cassie finally said, clearly growing annoyed at my silence. “Moving on. I don’t make it a habit to talk about other people’s stuff behind their backs, but I am trying to do this for the greater good. See, I think you both love each other, but for whatever reason, can’t tell each other and won’t be fully honest. It's pretty clear you are both miserable apart, so I am hoping you take this information and use it to fix this giant clusterfuck of a mess you've made.”
