by Lexi Blake
“Or it could be a good thing because the type of woman you’re looking for doesn’t exist.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
She frowned, her lips a stubborn line. “It means I’m tired of watching you fuck this up. You need to stop looking for this perfect sub of yours and let yourself fall in love with a real woman with real flaws who could potentially really adore the man you are. You deserve that, but you have it in your head that if you control every aspect of the relationship, nothing can go wrong. It’s a lie. You know damn well things can go wrong even when you love someone so much it hurts inside because at the end of the day, we’re all screwed up. Some of us more than others. I hate saying this, but you have to let me go.”
He frowned. She couldn’t possibly think that was the problem. “I am not pining over you.”
Cool blue eyes rolled. “I know that, babe. You’re raging at me. You’re still so angry with me you can’t see straight. We had something good and then we didn’t, and that’s my fault and your fault and time’s fault.” She took a deep breath. “Look, I know why you refused marriage counseling. It was over. It couldn’t be fixed, but there were things we should have talked about.”
“I don’t think we had anything to talk about, Maia.”
She ignored him and moved on. “You were gone for so long and then you came back a different person and while you were gone, I became a different person. I know Afghanistan changed you, but there were things that changed me, too, and I don’t regret any of it with the singular exception of how it hurt you. I have what I want. I know it’s weird to think that a job can really make a person happy, but it does for me. Crushing the people under me makes me so happy. Some of us are just born villains and some villains find themselves by accident. But you, you are one of the good guys, and I would hate to see you alone for the rest of your life because you can’t look past the one thing that didn’t work.”
But it had been so much more than one thing. More than his marriage. It wasn’t his marriage he saw in his nightmares. And he’d never reached out to her, not after he’d come home from the war. He’d fucked her, told himself he loved her, but she was right. He had been a different man than the one she’d stood beside at the altar at the stupid age of eighteen.
What she didn’t understand was that he wasn’t looking for love anymore. He was looking for companionship and sex and a little peace. Love was a myth he’d left behind a long time ago.
“I’ll take it under advisement.” He would say anything to get rid of her.
“Sure you will. Well, you can’t say I didn’t try.” She stood up. “I’ll get back to punching puppies. Who am I kidding? Puppies are cute. That’s what interns are for. And seriously, I can get you a date with Subby Cathy.”
Her cell trilled and Derek sent a silent thank you to whoever was calling her. The minute she got back to work mode, she would forget about trying to fix his life.
Her face went bright red. “What do you mean they towed my Benz? Damn it. I am not behind on my payments. I own that fucking car. I am going to ruin someone. You tell them to stop. I don’t care what you have to do. Throw your body in front of the truck. Offer the man a blow job. What do you mean he’s already gone?”
She was screaming into her cell as she stormed from the room.
Just as the door closed, he noticed Karina sitting at Keller’s desk. She looked up from the computer she absolutely shouldn’t be using and the sexiest, most evil grin split her face as Maia stomped by. Yeah, he shouldn’t have been worried. Karina didn’t need him to protect her from Maia. She could do that all on her own.
He was surrounded by crazy bitches. He didn’t even want to know what Karina had done to get Maia’s car towed.
The door closed and Derek was left in blissful silence. He knew he had to change his pants before he made his meeting with the captain, but he sat for a moment, letting the scent of Karina’s arousal relax him.
There was something oddly peaceful about it.
Chapter Four
Karina turned into her Deep Ellum apartment complex and cursed the day her building decided to go all egalitarian on the parking spaces. Karina had only heard the rumor that there had been assigned parking at one time, but it was a dream. She groaned as she drove past the aisle closest to her and then decided to give it up. She always ended up in the damn back.
She parked her Jeep and grabbed the groceries she’d bought. She hoped the lieutenant liked chicken and dumplings because she was in need of some comfort food.
He was coming over. To her apartment. Had she cleaned? She kept the place fairly neat, but sometimes when she was working a case things got a little disorganized. A lot disorganized. She glanced at her watch. Five thirty. Derek had texted her he was leaving work early. She had a whole thirty minutes before he got here. She needed to clean up, wipe down the countertops, maybe get rid of the boxes of old Chinese food that had been decorating the shelves of her fridge for way longer than they should have.
Maybe she should put on some lip gloss. She should definitely change. Or should she? She was just going to cook. She wouldn’t want to get sauce all over her clothes. Did she even own an apron? Definitely lip gloss and maybe some mascara.
Stop. Halt. Cease that line of thought.
She just managed to not trip on the curb as she walked toward the door to her building. She couldn’t think that way. This wasn’t some date. Brighton wasn’t coming over for dinner and a movie and a heavy make-out session. He was coming over because they were working together and the minute the case was over, he would be out of her life, so she needed to be a smart girl and stay the fuck off his lap. Even though it had been a ridiculously nice lap. He had the sort of lap made for a sub to spend hours over with her bare ass in the air. Some Dom’s laps were all knees and bony thighs, but Brighton had strong legs. He was big enough that she’d been comfortable lying there.
And the way he’d manhandled her afterward. He’d just picked her up and flipped her over without a single strain in those muscular arms of his. For that one moment, she’d felt delicate and lovely and petite against him. She wasn’t a small girl. Never had been. She’d always carried a little extra weight, but Derek hadn’t seemed to notice.
She stopped in front of the door and took a long breath. Liam and Sean were still in her apartment. She couldn’t walk inside all hot and bothered. They weren’t dumb men. They would know what had happened, and she really wanted to keep that private.
A little glint came off the door handle as she went to open it and Karina stopped, all thoughts of Brighton fleeing in an instant.
She was being watched. Yes, that little glint of light could have come from the sun hitting the metal in the early evening, but she doubted it. It had been the faintest hint and was gone in an instant. If there had been anyone else in the parking lot, she would have thought it was someone opening and shutting their car doors, the mirror catching the light and reflecting it to the handle she held.
Or someone was using binoculars and they had briefly caught the sun.
Karina always followed her instincts. She’d learned far too often that things went poorly when she didn’t. Oh, sometimes they turned out to be wrong, but it was way better to be safe than sorry.
Someone was watching her and she needed to get to a place where he couldn’t. As calmly as she could, she opened the door and strode inside, walking for the elevator that would take her to her floor. Her heart was racing, adrenaline starting to pump in anticipation, but she took a deep breath to try to quash it. She couldn’t go after him at this point. If she turned and looked around, trying to figure out where the watcher was, she would definitely tip the fucker off that she was on to him. If he had half a brain, he knew she was a PI. While he might find the chase exciting, he also might back off and go after weaker prey if she showed strength too soon in their game.
The elevator dinged and she got in, pressing the button for the tenth floor.
How much did the unsub
know about her? How much had he known about any of his victims? Had he known Amanda was a cop? It was still so difficult to think about her being gone. She hadn’t been kind, but Karina wouldn’t wish her fate on anyone.
Had the four victims had anything in common beyond their interest in BDSM and attendance at clubs? There had to be something more. The guy had come out of nowhere and suddenly had four kills to his credit. If he was truly a serial killer, he would have killed before, perfecting his method over time.
She needed to read Eve’s profile.
The door opened and she walked to her apartment, already thinking up a million and one arguments in case Derek tried to keep the profile confidential. She wasn’t going to be left out. If she was a member of the team, then she was going to force him to treat her like one.
She opened the door and walked inside. Of course, Derek could see arguing as disobeying his rules, and she would find herself over that supercomfy lap of his, taking his discipline. His cock would pulse against her belly almost as if it were connected to his hand, both finding a rhythm of arousal that would get her hot and wet in an instant.
“Karina? Did you run up the stairs?” Liam O’Donnell stood in her living room, shaking his head like a disappointed father who caught his daughter coming in after curfew. “Because you’re flushed. Otherwise I might wonder why you’re blushing.”
“Yep. Gotta get in my exercise.” She lied without a single qualm. Settling the groceries on the counter of her small kitchen, she frowned at the layer of dust she found there. How long had it been since she’d actually been in the kitchen?
“Liar,” the Irishman shot back. “I put a camera on the stairs. You came up the lift. So what’s that blush about, girl? Brighton already making you crazy?”
There was a low laugh as Sean Taggart stepped out of her bedroom. “Ten bucks says Brighton’s already gotten her naked. At least partially. The last time I saw him, he was ushering her into his office and shutting all the blinds.”
Li shook his head. “Karina isn’t giving in so easy.”
“Karina isn’t giving in at all,” she said, completely unwilling to go into her love life with two men who treated her like a kid sister. “Karina is working a case and unlike the two of you, I know how to keep business and pleasure separate.”
Let them stew on that for a while. They had both met their spouses during ops.
Li’s eyes widened. “Shit. You already let him play.”
Sean laughed as Karina shook her head. “Don’t even try it. You always get prissy when you’re trying to deflect. And I can smell the bastard’s aftershave on you from here.”
Shit and balls. “He was just trying to prove a point and it wasn’t really play. It’s undercover work.” Luckily she had the perfect thing to get them off the subject. “I think our guy is watching me. You two need to be careful.”
A single eyebrow rose on Sean’s face, a move he seemed to have gotten from his brother. Or maybe the ability to make a person feel like a dumbass with a single look was just in the Taggart DNA. “And you’re mentioning this now? That might have been a good reason to use your phone.”
When Little Tag wanted to Dom out, he could go all the way. Luckily he wasn’t her Dom. “I was already on my way up and I didn’t want to tip the bastard off. The last thing I want to do is spook the guy. We need him to come after me.”
Sean stared her way. “Fine. What direction did it seem to come from?”
“If I had to bet, he was in the building across the street,” she said. “It’s got easy access and if he needed to he could be here in a couple of minutes or get on the train and be gone in the same time.”
Li groaned a little. “I don’t like it. I don’t like any of it. I don’t like working with government employees. They put covering their asses over solving the case. I definitely don’t think we should be using Karina as bait. If a damn thing goes wrong they’ll cut her loose and she’ll be just another dead body.”
Li had serious issues with authority—particularly government bodies—but then they had burned him in the past. She had to admit it was nice that somebody didn’t want her to end up stuffed in a body bag.
“No, she won’t because we’re going to look after her,” Sean said. “We’re her backup. Besides, Derek won’t let anything happen to her and he won’t give a shit about red tape. It’s the only reason I’m not calling in favors to get her shoved into protective custody.”
Karina rolled her eyes. “What’s up with you guys and protective custody? I’m not exactly fragile. I can hold my own. You guys have sent me into plenty of tight spots.”
“Not without backup,” Li replied. “We run ops differently than the government. Our people come first and we don’t have to answer to anyone about it. Derek has to answer to his captain and the chief. The department has to answer to the Rangers. Everyone has to liaise with the fucking DA. It’s a maze of shit, I tell you.”
It probably was, but she wasn’t going to worry about it. She had Sean and Liam as her backup. They wouldn’t give a crap what the press would say, and no one would fire them if they chose her well-being over the op. “Well, I’m willing to listen to the two of you. You might have to fight with Brighton, though. Apparently his ex-wife is the ADA on the case.”
She’d spent an hour researching the ex-Mrs. Brighton.
“Shit,” Sean said. “Maia is a raging bitch half the time and a succubus forty-nine percent of the time.”
She’d kind of figured that out. Keller had been more than willing to talk about the ex-Mrs. Brighton. “And the remaining one percent?”
Sean shrugged. “She has moments of kindness. Brief moments. They’re usually followed by someone getting fired. Anyway, just let Derek handle her. Now, we’ve got some security set up. Like Li said, we put a couple of small cameras in the stairs. The elevators already have cameras and there are setups at each of the entrances that we hacked into so we’ll have someone watching. Is there a reason there’s no keyed entry to the building?”
“You need a key fob to get into the gate to the lot, but too many people complained about having to buzz in their friends.” It wasn’t exactly a hot spot for crime, but Dallas wasn’t some fuzzy suburb either. “Of course, all a person really has to do is wait until someone comes in or out and they can drive right through.”
“Or walk up.” Li leaned against her counter. “Why the hell are you here, Karina? There are far nicer places with better security.”
“I can’t afford them. I don’t work for some big corporation with endless pockets.” She grinned a little. “Tag is my biggest client and I overcharge the hell out of him so I can work for the little guys. Most of my clients can’t pay me crap, but it doesn’t mean they don’t need me. It does mean that I can’t afford a big nice place. This is stretching my budget as it is.”
Sean snorted a little. “I knew there was a reason I loved you, K. You keep sticking it to big brother. I’ll never tell.”
Liam chuckled. “You always were one to fight the good fight, love. Now let’s talk about how to ease ourselves into your daily life.”
They were worried that the unsub would figure out something was wrong if she suddenly had a bunch of men in her life. It made sense. If he’d been watching her for any amount of time, he’d likely seen a woman who worked and went to clubs and not a whole lot else. “I thought you were going to work at one of the clubs. Can’t I meet you there?”
“Alex had an in. He got me a job as a bartender at the club we’re most interested in. Li’s going in as a bouncer. I don’t want to overtax our resources so we’re going to put our emphasis on that club. Three of the four victims had been known to play there. But I think we need a story about why Li and I come in and out of your place so often, and you need to stick with it with anyone who doesn’t know the truth. I mean anyone, Karina.”
“That wouldn’t be a whole lot of people, guys,” Karina admitted. “I work most of the time. The people at Sanctum are pretty much the whole o
f my social group.”
“Good,” Liam said. “The less people we have to deal with, the better.”
There was a knock on her door.
Sean frowned. “I thought you said you didn’t have friends.”
She shrugged. “Maybe it’s Brighton. He said he was coming over. He’s early though.”
Karina crossed the small space to the door and opened it, expecting to see the big gorgeous cop who she was absolutely, one hundred percent not going to sleep with. Her mouth dropped open. “Terry?”
Her brother-in-law stood in the doorway, grinning from ear to ear. He was a younger version of Kevin in the face, though he was much more slender in build than her husband had been. “Hey, Karina. Bet you’re surprised to see me.”
Well, that threw a big old wrench into her plans. “You could say that.”
He held up his arm, and Karina could see the beginnings of a cast wrapped around his hand. The rest was in a long-sleeved shirt, but she could see the outline of the cast went almost to his elbow. “Come on. Let me in. I’m injured. I only have a couple of minutes until I have to go see my therapist. He’s just up the road a bit, so I thought I’d stop by to let you know I’m in town.”
She shook her head, completely in shock. She hadn’t seen Terry in years, hadn’t even spoken to him in almost six months. Terry was the only one left from Kevin’s family besides some distant cousins and uncles and aunts, who hadn’t been close. He was older than she remembered, thinner. “Of course. What happened to your arm?”
He sighed as he stepped inside. Her small apartment was getting crowded. “The usual. I was in the Caribbean making a little cash by taking the tourists deep sea fishing. They got drunk and harassed the girl I had serving drinks. Asshole broke my arm. Needless to say I’m no longer welcome at the Bermuda Fisherman’s Club. I have a friend who’s a therapist here. I’m staying with him while I rehab.” He turned and caught sight of Liam and Sean. “And you have friends over. Wow. I didn’t expect that.”
She felt herself flush. There was no way to miss the disapproval in his voice. It was stupid, but the idea of Kevin’s brother thinking she was screwing around really made her nervous. It was almost like Kevin finding out. Utterly irrational, but she found herself floundering. “Guys, this is Terry Mills. He’s Kevin’s brother. Terry, uhm, this is…”
