by Lexi Blake
He stopped. “Karina…”
Her heart dropped. The case was over. He didn’t want anyone to see him touching her in anything but a helpful capacity. It was over.
She hadn’t expected that. She’d told herself she had, but she hadn’t. Somewhere in the back of her head, she’d thought that he would come around. He would see that she was right for him.
He didn’t.
She could hear a siren now. The ambulance.
More cops walked in, including the Rangers, and suddenly there was no more private talk. She was hauled up and given time to change. She found herself in Will Daley’s rather opulent bathroom.
Karina stared at herself in the mirror. She could see the marks on her face and rope burns on her body.
But the hole in her damn heart hurt far worse.
Chapter Twelve
“Is there anything I can do for you?” Avery sat down on the bed and reached for her hand.
Karina shook her head. “You should be at home with Aidan.”
Her son was only weeks old. Karina had no idea why Liam had called her. She was fine. After numerous scans and a horrific amount of blood work, the doctor had even said she was fine. She was going to be released as soon as the paperwork was done.
To go home to her empty place. She wondered if Derek had already had someone go and pick up his things or if he would offer her a ride home. Perhaps that was why there were so many of her friends up here. Li had probably called in the troops because he knew how hard this would be on her. She had no doubt she could lie about her feelings for Brighton, but it wouldn’t do her any good. Li probably knew.
That was just one more embarrassment to face.
Avery squeezed her hand. “Aidan is fine. He’s happily asleep at Ashley’s. I’ve been told that Jill and Ryan are babysitting as much as they can trying to figure out if they’re ready.”
The door opened and Ashley Paxon, soon-to-be Langston, walked in carrying a tray of what smelled like coffee. “Ryan won’t admit it but he’s scared of poop. Jill is trying to get him used to the quick change. If you don’t get in there fast, my baby girl will get it everywhere.”
Avery’s eyes widened. “I thought we agreed to not talk about poop around the civilians.”
Ashley grinned, looking even younger than twenty-five years. “Avery thinks if we lie and say it’s all easy that we can trick Big Tag into giving it a go. Grace is telling him that Carys is already almost potty trained.” Ashley shook her head gravely. “Yeah, so not true. As long as we keep him away from the Internet and baby info books, I think we can do it. Anytime a show with a baby comes on, Charlotte switches it over to porn. We’ll get him yet.”
Avery and Ashley had shown up an hour into her hospital stay with clothes and toiletries. They had sat at her side.
Derek had ridden with her in the ambulance. He’d made sure she was set up in a room and she hadn’t seen him since.
When he was done, she supposed he was done.
“Well, Li shouldn’t have called you. I’m fine.” She would have preferred to be alone. Avery and Ashley were just reminders of how singular she was. They were both happily married and starting their lives. She wouldn’t be doing that anytime soon. She hated the fact that she was thinking of her friends that way, but she’d settled into a nice little pity party.
“Li didn’t call me. Derek called me. He set everything up. By the time he called me, he’d already talked to Ryan and Jill and set up babysitting. They came by and picked up Aidan on their way to Keith and Ashley’s.”
Ashley set a latte in front of her. “Yep, he had Keith jumping. Keith’s sitting outside. He’s watching the entire event like it’s a soap unfolding in front of him. You should have seen Derek when the DA showed up. I thought his head was going to explode. He did that really quiet yelling thing.”
She’d seen him do it. Derek was at his most dangerous when he got quiet, his voice an almost arctic low. So he’d called her friends in. Why? Had he felt guilty? Did he feel guilty because she’d gotten taken or because he was leaving her?
How was she going to face him again? She could put a smile on her face and tell him she was alright, but she had no idea how she was going to watch him play with subs at Sanctum.
Now that she knew how it felt to have his hands on her, she had no idea how she would accept another Dom.
Maybe it was time to pull back a little. She could go to more meetings, maybe see a therapist and figure out a different way to handle her stress.
There was a knock on the door and Karina almost sighed with relief. The discharge nurse. Finally.
“I think Derek told you she wasn’t talking tonight,” Ashley said as Maia Brighton walked in.
She looked altogether too perfect in her Chanel suit and red-soled Louboutins. Even at this time of night, her hair was in a professional-looking bun, her accessories flawless. Karina had to wonder if she kept a stylist on the payroll.
Maia strode in like she owned the place. “Oh, Derek is busy with the never-ending paperwork that comes with keeping a killer off the street. You know, all in a day’s work. I thought I would take this time to point out a few truths of life to Ms. Mills.”
Avery frowned. “I’ll go get Li. He’ll take care of this.”
“I think I’ll just haul her out by her hair. I can do it, Karina. I’ve been going to the gym and she’s a little skeletal.” Ashley eyed the blonde like she was about to get her warrior princess on.
Maia smiled brightly. “Thank you. I do try to stay thin.”
If she let this go it could get ugly, and the last thing she needed was to embarrass herself by having Brighton come in to rescue her. She could handle a little mean girl all on her own. “Guys, why don’t you give us a minute? Don’t bring the men into it, please.”
Avery and Ashley stood and walked warily out the door.
“All right, give it your best shot,” Karina said, sitting up. “I’ve had a shitty day so you piling on is just the topper.”
“Touchy.” Maia sat her bag down. Karina was sure it was a designer thing that cost more than she made in a month. Maia sighed and stared at her. “I don’t like you.”
The feeling was mutual. “I don’t care.”
Maia shrugged. “I wouldn’t either. I do like Derek.”
“Then you probably shouldn’t have fucked around on him. Did you have to sleep with his brother?”
She thought about that for a moment before speaking again, her voice taking on a softer tone. “I did that for different reasons than he thinks. He was gone for so long. I really did miss him. His brother looks a lot like him. It doesn’t matter now because I certainly can’t excuse the others. I guess we are who we are. We really can’t change that, can we?”
Oh, now she knew what was coming. Someone had looked up her records. Like Li had told her, sealed records didn’t always stay sealed. “Are you here to blackmail me?”
Maia laughed. “Oh, honey, you don’t have anything I need. At least not anything that’s yours to give. You are shockingly touchy for a former crack whore.”
“I never took crack and sure as hell wasn’t a whore.” Maybe her night wasn’t done. She could take all her newfound spare time and dedicate her life to making Maia’s hell. It could be her new hobby.
“The words just go well together, don’t you think? Crack and whore. It’s like chocolate and peanut butter.”
“Yes, a little like the words beat and your ass.” Her arms still ached, but she was pretty sure she could handle Maia.
Maia laughed again, this time a much purer sound. When she smiled at Karina this time, she could almost believe it was true. “All right. I do like you. But I don’t want to.”
“Do you want to explain to me why you’re here? Derek told me I couldn’t give a statement until tomorrow.”
“I bet he did.” Her face turned as serious as the Botox allowed. “I’m here because I’ve had a couple of really shitty days and it’s made me think. I love Derek. I want hi
m to be happy and he’s fucking it up again.”
“Ah, so you think he can’t find happiness with the crack whore. Nice. Here’s the good news for you. We were only supposed to play while we were working, and we are no longer working.”
Maia pointed her way. “See. He’s fucking up. You’re fucking up. I am guilty of many, many crimes against humanity, but surprisingly enough, hypocrisy isn’t one of them. I read your files. You made some mistakes. Given your youth, they’re certainly understandable. If I’d grown up the way you did, I would have done as many drugs as I could have, too. The remarkable thing is that you’re alive and you seem to be some sort of PI saint.”
“What’s your point?”
“My point is if I have to really let him go, I think you’ll take care of him. You love him, right?”
“It doesn’t matter how I feel. He doesn’t love me.”
She rolled her blue eyes. “Somehow I thought you’d fight harder.”
“I made a deal with him. Look, I don’t want him to stay with me because he feels bad. I do love him. I want him to have what he wants.”
Maia took a moment, seeming to think about what she said next. “He hasn’t slept with the same woman for more than a week since we got divorced. He’s in love with you, but he also struggles to change his course. I knew the minute I heard you’d been taken that he was going to screw this up so I came down here. He’s been out there issuing orders about you and making everyone crazy, but I would bet he hasn’t hugged you yet.”
Karina shook her head. “No.”
“And you’re in here ready to throw in the towel. It means nothing. It means that he went into cop mode and he’s going to struggle to get out of it. Don’t let him keep you away. He’ll try to sleep on the couch. Maybe he’s already doing that because…”
Karina held a hand up. “We fixed that shit really fast. When he has a bad dream, I set him on his ass. He’s only done it twice. He does it again and I’ll handle it.”
Maia proved the devil could cry. A single tear fell on her cheek. “He’s sleeping with you.” She took a long breath. “That’s good. That’s really good. So when he tells you he should sleep on the couch tonight, you should…”
A deep well of sympathy flowed through Karina. No matter what a bitch Maia could be, she was trying to do something good. “I’ll tell him to get his ass in our bed.”
“He needs to be needed, you know. He needs to be good.”
Karina nodded. “I know.” It was weird, but now they had a connection. They loved the same man. “He doesn’t know about my misspent youth.”
Maia reached down and grabbed her purse. “So tell him.”
“It’s not that easy.”
She huffed a little. “Really? You don’t think he’s going to be sympathetic to the woman who pulled herself out of hell and managed to make the people around her happy?”
“I guess I didn’t think of it that way.”
“Then start, sister, because he needs a woman and not a guilt-plagued martyr. You did good, Mills. You did good and you won the prize, if you play your cards right. Just make him happy and I won’t have to come after you and make your life a living hell.”
The door suddenly opened and Derek’s big form was silhouetted against the light. “What the hell are you doing in here? I told you to leave her alone.”
Maia seemed to change from slightly warm to chilly in a heartbeat. Her shoulders straightened, her spine becoming perfectly erect. “Well, she’s a horrible witness. I hope the forensics are good on this one. I would hate to put her on the stand. Good-bye, Derek. I’ll talk to you Monday.”
“Maia,” Karina called out.
Maia turned, her face a mask of indifference. “What?”
“I’ll make sure you get your car back.” Karma had worked. It was time for it to let up a little.
Maia’s eyes widened. “You bitch. Damn it. I don’t want to like you.”
She turned and walked out the door.
“What was that about?” Derek strode in, looking ridiculously gorgeous and slightly distant.
How hard had it been on him? He’d had to distance himself. To think like a cop and not a lover. Sometimes it was hard for cops to come back down. It was hard for them to get back to being lovers and husbands and sons. They needed an anchor. They needed one the same way an addict needed to know someone gave a shit.
She’d been very selfish in thinking that she was the only one who needed.
“She just had a couple of questions.” What had Maia said? Derek needed to be needed. It was an intrinsic part of who he was. It was why he’d sought out the lifestyle. It was why he’d become a Dom. Karina had been on her own for a very long time, but she remembered how it felt to rely on someone. “Sir, I’m very tired. Could you take me home?”
He stopped, obviously startled, and then he jumped into action like an eager puppy. “I’ll get the nurse.”
He practically ran out of the room.
He wasn’t trying to get rid of her. He was just a man who struggled to shift gears and it was her damn job to help him.
It was also her job to trust him.
If she loved him, she would risk losing him, but suddenly she thought she would take that bet. She had been strong. She had pulled herself out.
And sometimes, just sometimes, the universe rewarded a girl for that.
* * * *
Derek held the door open for her. His house. He’d given her a cock-and-bull story about hiding out from the press, but the truth was he wanted her in his space for once. He’d been out of control all night, with her in danger. He wanted to fucking control things for once.
She was so pale as she walked toward him. He had to remember that she’d been through hell. She’d been taken right out from under his nose. She had to have been terrified. She had to be pissed at him for letting it happen. Her arms had to ache. The fucker had tied her far too tight. What the hell had he been thinking?
He’d been thinking about killing her. She’d almost fucking died. She had to fight for her damn life, you idiot. So back the fuck off and give her space.
He would take the spare bedroom. The bed there sucked, but she needed rest and he needed to know that she was comfortable. He needed her to be happy here because he was going to try to make sure she never left.
How the fuck did he do that? How did he get her to forgive him for putting her in danger? His heart was still pumping, his adrenaline not anywhere close to normal.
What if he’d done something wrong? What if he forgot some tiny legality that meant Terry Mills went free?
Karina stopped in front of him, bringing her hand to caress his face. Damn, but everywhere she touched him turned soft and warm. Except his fucking cock. “Are you okay?”
Naturally she would ask that. She was that kind of woman. “I’m fine. Are you hungry?”
She gave him a slight smile. “No. Avery and Ashley stuffed me with snacks.”
He’d made sure her friends showed up. He hadn’t been able to get hold of Serena, and Grace was dealing with a sick baby, but he’d gotten Avery and Ashley to the hospital. She needed her friends. She needed to know she was loved.
She’d been through something horrible. She should be surrounded by love. He just wasn’t sure she wanted his.
Karina strode through the door. She had only a small bag. Avery and Liam had gone by her place and picked up some clothes and essentials for her. She carried them in now. “Where’s the bedroom?”
He pointed to the master. He wouldn’t give her anything but the best. She would be secure there. He would watch over her for as long as she let him. “Right back there.”
She sighed and walked toward the room. She stopped at the doorway. “Are you coming?”
“Uhm, I’ll get you something to drink.” He wouldn’t be coming for a long time. It might take a while for her to recover and then he needed to make sure she was ready. He needed to make her understand he was serious about this relationship and that he wou
ldn’t accept just being her boyfriend.
Had he earned that? Had he truly earned being her Master and husband?
He sounded like a fucking idiot. He was going to get her a drink? A drink for a woman who never drank?
It was a thing he added to his list of ever growing crap he needed to fix about his life, all of it concerning Karina.
She walked through the doorway, leaving it open. Damn but she should have closed it because he could sort of see her. He watched as she put her bag on the bed and then shrugged off her clothes. Her perfect skin came into view. She was naturally tan due to her DNA. He would bet she wasn’t entirely Caucasian. Her skin was rich and had a glorious olive tone. His exotic girl. A harem of one because he didn’t need anyone but her.
He was a jerk. He shouldn’t be thinking of her that way. She’d been stripped down and hurt. She didn’t need another man thinking about using her.
He would take his time. He would let her know that he was here for her. He would handle the case and then she would know he cared.
Yeah. His dick hated him.
She walked through the doorway and his eyes went wicked wide. “Karina?”
She was standing there completely nude. Her full breasts were pointed out, the nipples so sweetly puckered his dick couldn’t help but respond. She gave him a “goddess of the earth and sea and sex” smile as she stared his way. “Hey, baby. Can you come to bed now?”
His cock damn near jumped off his body and ran to her, but he owed her more. “You need to rest.”
Her smile dimmed. She was still naked, but she looked vulnerable. He still thought it was so fucking sexy. “My mom died when I was five.”
He went utterly still. “Really?”
“Yes.” Her face had flushed. Her whole body really. She stepped into the living room, her body moving with the grace of a person who didn’t care that she was undressed. She lowered herself on his couch gingerly, sitting on the edge. “I was just a kid. I didn’t find her. I came home from school and the social services woman was there. She was a good mom but she liked to get high. She did a lot for her drugs.”
