“You can ask Chip. I swear she looks like Angelina Jolie. She’s got legs for days and those eyes are unbelievable. All the guys were always so jealous of Charlie. At reunions, they would bet to see who brought the prettiest girl to the party. Charlie won every year after she started bringing Lynne with her.”
Decky was fighting the green monster with all her will power. “Looks can be deceiving.”
Brenda looked impressed with Decky’s reaction. Decky thought that maybe she would actually be able to pull this off. She was an actress after all. Brenda walked over to where Decky was setting up the Karaoke machine, a party favorite. Everyone had to perform. The trick was they drew names and you had to sing whatever the person that had your name chose for you. It had always been the highlight of the party for Decky.
Brenda continued their conversation. “Just remember, Charlie is a grown woman and she’s been dealing with Lynne for years.”
“What do you want me to say, Brenda, that I promise not to get involved? I am involved. You and Charlie seem to forget I have a stake in this, too.”
“I want you to say you’ll stay in control no matter what happens.”
“Okay, but you’re starting to scare me. What in the hell is she going to do, come in here, knock Charlie over the head with a club and take her away? God, I thought I was home free and now you’re telling me there are lesbian cavemen, too.”
Brenda laughed. “Okay, I will leave you alone, but you have to promise to leave that knight in shining armor complex at home. I guarantee the damsel will take care of herself.”
“Well, that’s all hooked up. I guess I better go feed my great white steed and put him out to pasture since I won’t be needing him tonight.”
“Decky have I ever told you, you are a smart ass.”
“Many times.”
#
Decky went home and swam a mile. She had to think. Zack still had to be called. She couldn’t let him find out from someone else, and after tonight a lot more people were going to know. Cell phones not only made it easier to keep in touch, it made it easier to gossip. Now with all the new technology you could end up on the Internet, starring in your own worst moment video. She and Charlie could be up on somebody’s MySpace before the party was over. The caption would read, “New lesbian discovered in the county.”
Then there was Lizzie. Decky had been so focused on Charlie, she hadn’t thought too much about her mother. She would be back tomorrow and Decky was going to have to deal with her sooner or later. She decided on later and pushed that issue to the back of her mind. It was easy to do.
Trying not to see them together in her mind only made it harder for Decky. There they were in a grainy black and white photograph. She swam harder and faster. What if Lynne got off that plane and Charlie couldn’t remember why she was mad at her? Maybe she would sweep her off her feet all over again. It happens every day. People make promises they can’t keep. ‘I’ll never leave you’ and ‘I will love you forever’ were repeated daily, while broken promises came as often.
Decky tried so hard to hear Charlie’s words again. She had said “…completely, madly, inexplicably head over heels in love with you Decky.” I have to trust her, Decky made up her mind. I have to trust her, she repeated to herself. Just keep saying that over and over Decky told herself. The phrase began to repeat itself in rhythm with her strokes. It pushed her, drove her, until she came out of the lap pool spent and winded.
Dixie met her on the second floor, just in from the morning inspection of the perimeter.
“Everything okay out there soldier?” She played with Dixie for a minute, then Decky fixed some lunch. She took her lunch, some ice bags and a large bottle of water over to the couch. Propped up with the TV on, Decky tried not to watch the clock. The little voice said, “It’s 11 o’clock, do you know where your girlfriend is?”
Dixie was on one end of the couch about to take her mid-day nap. Decky settled on an old Thin Man movie and hoped the time would fly.
#
Decky was lost in a deep sleep, when she heard Charlie’s voice through the fog.
“Decky, wake up, honey.”
She smiled through her sleep. She became fully conscious when Charlie kissed her on the lips. She grabbed Charlie, pulling her down on to the couch. She hugged Charlie tight to her body.
“God, I’m glad to see you,” Decky whispered into Charlie’s ear.
Charlie hugged her back, “Maybe I should go away more often.”
Decky pushed Charlie up so she could see her face. “No, never again. Dixie and I don’t know what to do with ourselves, by the way, nice guard dog duty there Princess.”
Dixie sniffed the air, got off the couch, came over and kissed Charlie in the face.
“See she missed you too.”
When the rush of being together again wore off, Charlie asked Decky to come out on the deck so they could sit at the table. She had bought some fresh peaches on the way back, at one of the many roadside stands that lined the highway. She must have stopped for crème too. She brought two bowls out to the table.
After they had eaten a few bites, Charlie spoke up. “I’m going to tell you what happened so you don’t have to wonder. Just let me tell it, no questions. I promise to tell you everything. I just don’t want to analyze it.”
Decky heard ‘you have to trust her’ echo through her brain. “I trust you Charlie.” It was the right thing to say.
Charlie told Decky how she had gotten to the airport a little late, thanks to her. She found Miss Kitty and Lynne waiting on the curb. Lynne was hungry so they stopped on the way back at a burger joint and ate in the car, because of the cat. She had told Lynne about Decky. Charlie said it was absolutely liberating. Lynne seemed to take it okay, but Charlie wasn’t sure because Lynne had been very quiet after that. She had surprised Lynne by dropping her off at a bed and breakfast just up the road instead of Brenda’s. Lynne would be attending the party tonight. Brenda would be sending someone for her later.
“And that’s it,” Charlie was winding down. “I took Miss Kitty to her new house. Once I had her settled, I flew over here to find you passed out with the dog, on the couch.”
“That’s it then. I’m proud of you. You sound like you handled it as well as could be expected.” Decky was jumping up and down inside, but tried to play it cool. The green monster was cowering in the corner. “That’s my girl!”
#
Charlie didn’t have a Hawaiian shirt she could lay her hands on before the party. Decky explained that this was mandatory, so they drove down to the Cotton Gin and bought complimentary colored shirts. Decky, always the consummate scene designer wanted them to look good together. Set the mood so to speak. Decky chose a tropical flower theme of bright greens, yellows and reds on a dark blue background for herself. For Charlie, they chose a red background with flowers of green, yellow and blue.
They had gone into the dressing room together to try on the shirts. They stood and looked at themselves in the mirror.
“That looks great on you,” Charlie was studying Decky. “That blue really sets off your eyes.”
“So far I haven’t seen anything that looks bad on or off of you.” Decky giggled. Here they were doing what women did every day, trying on clothes together. No one thought twice when they went in the dressing room together. Decky found it exhilarated her to be in public, sneaking a look or a slight brush of the other’s skin. She had almost grabbed Charlie’s hand on the way in. Charlie, ever on the lookout, had admonished her with her eyes and mouthed, “Behave,” to Decky when no one was looking.
Here alone in this room Decky was overcome with the urge to kiss Charlie. She did. It was thrilling being bad, if this was bad, it felt pretty good to Decky. Charlie cooperated for a minute or two, and then she pushed Decky back.
“I told you to behave. Come on we’ll be late.”
Decky tweaked one of Charlie’s nipples. “I don’t mind being late, we can make an entrance.”
“
Stop that,” Charlie said, as she slapped Decky’s hand away playfully. “Oh, I feel quite sure that our entrance will be noted by all in attendance, no matter what time we get there.”
Decky started unbuttoning the shirt Charlie had been trying on. Charlie resisted until Decky ran her finger down the middle of Charlie’s chest following a line down to the button on her pants. Charlie was now under Decky’s spell. She started unbuttoning Decky’s shirt. Decky who had been enjoying undressing Charlie, suddenly realized that the tide was turning and Charlie now had her in a panic.
She grabbed Charlie’s hands. “You can’t do that.”
“Why not?” Charlie asked.
“You know exactly why not. It’s too much. I might not be able to control myself. We might start banging around on the walls in here. I don’t know what will happen, but I do know you cannot do that.”
“So, I see you can drive me crazy, but I am not allowed to do that to you.” She tickled Decky’s chest with one of her fingers that Decky did not have a death grip on.
Decky squirmed under her touch. “Okay, okay, I will behave.”
“I thought you might see it my way, if you knew what you were doing to me. It’s not that I don’t want to play these little games with you. It’s the fact that I can’t control myself either. So, behave yourself and we’ll go back to the house and take care of this problem.”
“I’ll behave, I swear. Just back up.”
#
Decky got dressed at her house and then they went to check on Miss Kitty and for Charlie to dress. Dixie was not impressed with the little scrawny black and white cat. It obviously had no social skills. Whenever Dixie tried to smell of it, it would grow to twice its normal size. It had even spit at her. Finding that following the creature through the house became tedious, she plopped down on the rug and caught a quick nap.
At 8:15, Decky put the Expedition in park on the road leading to Brenda’s house. There were already so many people there, she had to park about 50 yards from the driveway. Dixie, who was sitting on the backseat, sprang up on all fours. She wagged her tail and looked out the window. Oh, how she did love parties. All those hands to worship the princess, not to mention the food. Decky hated it when people put clothes on dogs, but several years ago, she had made Dixie a bandana out of an old Hawaiian print shirt.
Charlie looked at Dixie’s excited expression. “Well, I see somebody is ready for a party. I love the bandana, nice touch.”
“Yeah, ol’ Dix here is a party animal. You should see her dance.”
Decky had her hand on the door handle about to open it, when Charlie placed her hand on her other arm. “Wait a minute, before we go in.”
“Are you all right with this? We don’t have to go in, although I think Dixie might be disappointed.” Decky patted Charlie’s hand.
“This is not about me. This is about you, Decky. Those people may have thought you were gay before, but there’s a big difference in thinking you know something and seeing the proof. There won’t be any doubt when we walk in there, not in anybody’s mind. So, you make sure you are really ready to take this step. There will be no turning back.”
“These people have known me forever. They’re not going to change the way they feel about me one way or the other, just because now I’m with you.” Decky scoffed at her.
“I’ve been there and you are kidding yourself. Not all your straight friends, who accept others as gay, will treat you the same. Some will feel betrayed by you. Beware of the ‘did you ever think about me that way’ question. It is a double-edged sword. If you assure them that you never felt that way about them, then they get upset because you didn’t find them attractive or some stupid thing like that.”
Decky listened with a slight smile. Charlie was trying to protect her. It was really sweet.
Charlie kept going, “Then there are the gay friends that tell you they’ve always known something about you that you are positive you did not know yourself. Or they’ll start hitting on you the moment you walk in the door.”
Decky was grinning, “Those broads in there have been hitting on me for years, so that’s nothing new.”
“Yeah, but now they think they might actually have a chance.”
“Sorry, I am spoken for…aren’t I?” Decky teased.
“All right baby girl, welcome to the new world.”
Decky leaned over for a kiss, but was thwarted by a large golden head and brown nose. There would be none of that. Dixie was grunting and pawing at Decky.
“Okay, we better go in. The party princess is getting the urge to get her groove on.”
Decky followed behind Charlie and Dixie, making their way to the door. She was thinking with all the other things that could go wrong at this party, Charlie’s thoughts had been of her. Charlie was headed in to a party amongst mostly strangers, where she would be introducing her new lover to her old lover, who didn’t seem to be too happy about it. Chapters were closing for Charlie and new ones were being written every day. That she cared more about how Decky would survive this mess, said a lot about the kind of woman she really was.
That’s a fine lady you’ve found there. You hang on for dear life, she is worth fighting for.
Decky’s little voice had even fallen in love with Charlie, too.
Dixie led the way through the little groups of people scattered about the house on the way to the backyard. Charlie had been right. People were looking at her differently. Knowing smiles were exchanged, as one gay woman after another gave her a silent nod of approval, a welcome to the club look. Jesus, did Brenda broadcast this on a loudspeaker at the ballpark. She had forgotten to check for the red flashing sign’s appearance on her brow before getting out of the car. The damn thing must have been as bright as Rudolph’s nose or the lesbian hotline had gone on high alert. She wondered who had brought the toaster for Charlie.
She also observed a different attitude from the hunk when she passed him in the kitchen on the way out, as he was coming in from outside. He looked Charlie up and down, not inconspicuously, but being sure Decky saw him. He looked at Decky and smirked. Okay, chalk up one for the people who weren’t going to play nice. As she passed him, she leaned in and whispered so only he could hear, “You can look, but don’t touch.” As soon as she said it, she was astounded at herself. Was she angry because he judged her or because he looked at Charlie that way?
Before she had a chance to answer herself, Brenda appeared, making a big fuss and drawing even more attention to them. The way Brenda was acting, and due to the fact that she had pulled Charlie close and whispered something in her ear, she knew the meeting was imminent. Charlie nodded and looked back to where the grill was positioned in the yard. There, surrounded by men and women alike, was Angelina. At least it sure looked like it from where Decky stood.
The men were obviously attracted and the young lesbians were practically drooling. The older lesbians and straight folks however were starting to point at Decky and then over to Lynne. The ones that didn’t know what was happening were quickly caught up. Decky unconsciously reached for Charlie’s hand. It wasn’t there.
Charlie was walking out ahead of her, heading straight for Lynne. Charlie strode confidently through all the prying eyes. If Decky hadn’t been so focused on the green monster that just seized her heart, she would have admired Charlie’s audacity. Charlie knew full well these people were watching her. She knew they wanted drama and expected it. She was showing them how a lady handles situations like this.
Brenda showed up with a Margarita, “Here drink this and stop staring. You look dumb struck, not your best look by the way.”
Decky took a big drink, but her eyes never left the scene unfolding in front of her. Although Brenda had told Decky to stop staring, she too was fully involved in surveillance of the situation. Dixie had followed Charlie, not because she necessarily wanted to see what she was doing, she smelled grilling beef. When Charlie stopped in front of Chip to get a kiss on the cheek, Dixie stepped between Lynne and C
harlie.
Brenda whispered over the rim of her Margarita, “Good dog.”
Lynne leaned down and patted Dixie on the butt. Dixie responded by doing her best princess wag. Decky said under her breath, turning to Brenda, “Shit, she’s touching my dog.”
Brenda had not stopped watching Lynne. “Better yet, now she’s kissing your girlfriend.”
Decky’s head snapped back around so fast she heard her neck pop. Lynne had followed Chip’s lead and was now leaning down to apply a kiss on Charlie’s cheek. Decky flushed fire red. She knew it too.
Brenda was looking at her, “Breathe honey, deep cleansing breaths.” She demonstrated the process for Decky.
Lynne had Charlie’s hand in hers and she was smiling down at her. She laughed at something Charlie said and patted the dog again. Decky spit out, “Traitor!”
Out on the Sound Page 14
