“You are right. It is nobody’s business, but sometimes being right is the worst thing you can be. If you can’t reason with a person, being right doesn’t mean a damn thing. Be careful, Decky. You are not a nobody around here. People know who you are, where you live. You don’t know this side of life. You’ve always been liked and loved. You don’t know the evil that exists in some people, self-righteous people.”
“I appreciate your talking to me, Mr. Fowler. I’ll be careful. Remember, I might have been liked and loved, but I did grow up with Lizzie. That should get me a few points.”
Decky hugged him, with her packages banging in to him. As they parted Decky said, “Hey, tell Jack hello for me the next time you talk to him.”
#
Decky went home. Packed the boat and waited. She swam laps, worked out with weights, did some work on the book, caught up on email, but all she was really doing was waiting. When the time came, she fixed lunch and waited some more. Decky needed Charlie. Charlie made none of the other things matter. Time ticked by slowly and the anxiousness in her chest grew.
Decky did not want to think about what her mother had done. She definitely did not want to think about Trey’s uncle. She couldn’t let herself think about Mr. Fowler’s warning. It was too frightening. She had known Lizzie would freak out, but why did her being with Charlie fill so many people with hate? That’s what it was, pure malicious hate. Had Decky really been that naïve? Charlie had to come home soon. Decky was becoming more and more paranoid by the minute.
When she could stand it no longer, she called Zack. Zack, of course, was not answering so she left a long rambling message. Then called back to tell him to ignore the previous message, explaining Lizzie was making her crazy. At least Zack would understand. No one else in the world could understand Lizzie, unless they had seen it for themselves. It was beyond other’s ability to comprehend. The closest thing people could relate to Lizzie was a crazed sitcom mom. Though there was nothing funny about Lizzie when you were on the shit end of her stick.
Decky was about to call Brenda when she and Dixie heard a car door slam. She checked Dixie’s tail. If it was up and wagging everything was safe, if it was between her legs and she was looking for a way out, she knew it was Lizzie. Dixie had an uncanny way of knowing when Lizzie was on a warpath and she definitely knew the sound of Lizzie’s car. Dixie’s tail was up and in full princess swing. She beat Decky to the door.
Decky had to wait in line until the greeting of the princess had been completed. Then she had to wait while Miss Kitty did donuts in the floor and whined until she had been thoroughly petted. Finally, Charlie made it to Decky, where Decky grabbed her and hugged her tight.
“Whoa! You’re squeezing the air out of me.” Charlie coughed.
“God, I missed you. I think you should quit your job and stay with me all the time. I don’t do that well without you. It’s not as if you would be a kept woman or anything. I’ve thought about it. We could call you a mental health specialist and I could pay you. Then you wouldn’t feel like a hooker.”
Charlie sat her briefcase and some papers on the table in the foyer. She was looking at Decky, trying to read her. Charlie took Decky by the hand and led her to a stool at the island. She took two bottles of water out of the fridge and then sat beside Decky.
Charlie reached for Decky’s hand. “Honey, what happened today? Obviously something did. You’re going to have to catch me up.”
“Well, what do you want to hear first, the part about the asshole in the hunting store or the live news bulletin Lizzie has managed to circulate? You pick.” Decky said this with sincerity. She was just relaying the story.
Charlie squeezed her hand. “Did somebody say something to you at the store?”
Decky was off. She told Charlie the whole story without stopping, even the part about Lizzie sounding off like a foghorn. It felt so good to tell someone, to tell Charlie. Charlie would understand. She had been gay a long time. She would know what to say to make the fear and anguish go away.
When she was finished, Decky sighed and said, “So, how was your morning?”
Charlie smiled slightly. “Decky nothing happened that you weren’t expecting. We talked about this. You just saw it up close for the first time. Did it change anything? Did it make you sorry you did this?”
Decky popped her chin up off her chest. “Absolutely not! I wouldn’t change a thing about us. I don’t care what people say or do.”
“Then what people say has no meaning. It can only hurt you if you let it. It isn’t an easy thing to give up the image people have of you for a new one, but that’s all in their heads anyway. Nothing you say or do will change the way people feel. They will feel the way they want to about you and me. You have to decide to rise above it or it will eat you alive.”
Decky listened intently to every word Charlie said. Then quietly she said, “I really didn’t think it would bother me what people thought. But then again, I didn’t think it would bother so many people. There are gay women everywhere. I thought they’d be used to lesbians by now. I don’t see people ragging on the girls at the ball park.”
“That’s because you haven’t been to the ball park since you and I got together. You start hearing and seeing things that have always been there. You just see from a new perspective. Ask the girls. They will tell you. It happens in every town on every field. Some drunken redneck starts up and gets his buddies going. You just keep playing and hope they go away.” Charlie told this from the vantage point of experience.
“I guess you were right. I am naïve.” Decky felt defeated although she hadn’t been sure what game she was playing.
“No, you just look on the bright side of things. You’ve led a charmed life, other than Lizzie, now you have to face adversity. You will be fine, once the shock wears off and the anger sets in. Then you can have fun coming back at them with one-liners that usually go right over their heads. It’s great fun. I’ll show you the next chance I get. It’s that stunned look on their faces, when you actually speak to them that really gets to me.” Charlie made a very funny face as an example.
Decky laughed and begged Charlie never to make that face again. Decky felt so much better, she was hungry again. She had thought she would not be able to eat lunch, but now that Charlie was here, things were looking up. What Charlie said made sense. Other people did not make you feel. You felt what you allowed yourself to feel. Right now, she felt like eating and then taking her girl out for some bass fishing. God, she hoped Charlie didn’t catch another eel.
#
Once lunch was done and Charlie had changed clothes, Decky gave her the vest and fishing hat. The hat had a long bill, which looked cute in a goofy kind of way on Charlie’s little head. Charlie balked a little on the fishing idea, still fearful of what else might lurk in the sound waters. Decky promised they would only use top water gear aimed at catching plain old bass, no exotic species.
“Okay, I’ll go, but if anything I can’t recognize gets on my hook, you have to be the boy and get it off.”
Decky laughed at her and took her hand. “I’ll be your hero. I promise.”
Once on the boat, Decky showed Charlie the new rod and reel. Charlie really was a fisherman. She had the line loaded and was taking practice castings before Decky got the boat away from the dock. Dixie assumed her station in the bow.
“Reel it in Jimmy Houston, we’re going to my favorite fishing hole.”
With that, they were off, flying over the water, with the spray from the small swells splashing over them. Decky had never opened the boat up for Charlie, but when she hit the channel, she roared both engines into full throttle and watched Charlie as she grinned from ear to ear. This was Decky’s kind of girl, all right.
Decky slowed the boat and pulled into a secluded cove. No houses were in sight and the way the cove was shielded from the wind made the surface slick. The bugs and frogs sang loudly, echoing across the water. Decky dropped a trolling motor into position and maneuvered
the boat to a good spot. An old tree had fallen in the water, its branches extending above and below the surface. The bottom near the tree was prime bedding sand for bass.
“You can usually catch a few in here. Every now and then one of those big mommas gets on your line. That’s when this light tackle becomes really fun.”
Charlie cast her lure expertly at the base of the tree. “I love this rod and reel. It’s like the one I used at home, but seriously, you have to stop spending money on me. I have money of my own.”
Decky cast her lure away from Charlie’s, but still near the tree. “I don’t buy you things to make you feel good. I buy them because it makes me feel good. Don’t deny me my little pleasures. I have so few.”
Charlie responded, “Oh, I think you’ve been getting plenty of pleasure lately.”
Decky just grinned.
They fished for several hours, moving around the small cove. Charlie and Decky both caught a couple of small bass and released them. The fight with the little fish was entertaining on the lightweight rods. The rod would bend and dance with every movement of the fish.
Dixie enjoyed the way the bass would splash out of the water. Although she didn’t swim so much as wade, she did enjoy the aquatic life around here. She never did understand why Decky had freaked out when she wallowed in the dead fish she found on the shoreline. It had smelled so pretty to Dixie.
Charlie’s shoulders started to burn. She had not spent as much time outside as Decky and had forgotten sunscreen. Decky dug around in the boat and located the bottle she kept around for Zack. Although he was as tan as Decky, he was much fairer skinned and needed sunscreen, if he stayed out for a long time.
Decky was applying the sunscreen to Charlie’s shoulders when Alan Jr.’s boat slowly made its way into the cove. A thought flashed in Decky’s mind. Had that been Alan Jr.’s voice on the phone this morning? It was hard to tell. It had sounded muffled as if something were over the mouthpiece of the phone. Decky stopped putting the lotion on Charlie. Something felt different about seeing Alan Jr. This time she felt fear.
Decky did not take her eyes off Alan Jr.’s boat, while she used the trolling motor to aim the boat out of the cove. He was not alone. She could see two or three male heads in the back of the approaching boat. From the sounds emanating from the stern, the men in the boat had been drinking.
One of them stood up when they got closer. Decky recognized him. It was one of Alan Jr.’s friends, Tommy Mercer. Decky knew him as a teenager. He was a drunk then and he was no different now.
“Hey there, Decky,” Tommy slurred. “Who’s your new friend?”
“How are you, Tommy? It’s been a long time.” Decky deflected his question.
It must have been the tone in Decky’s voice that alerted Charlie to a problem. She continued to fish, but Decky could see the tightening of Charlie’s neck muscles. The other men, including Alan Jr., were not saying anything, but they were definitely prodding Tommy along.
“Jr. here tells me you’re batting for the other team now. Ain’t you a little old to be takin’ up muff diving?”
Alan Jr.’s boat erupted in laughter and backslapping.
One of the other guys spoke up, “Naw, Decky ain’t switched teams. She just needs a real man to set her straight, so to speak. What’s the matter, Jr. here ain’t man enough for you?”
Tommy jumped in, “I got your man right here.” He grabbed his crotch. “That looks like a mighty fine piece of ass you got there. Any chance I can get in on that?”
Decky was pissed. She would have shot him if she had a gun, but she didn’t. Instead, Decky lifted the trolling motor out of the water and headed for the steering console. To her dismay, she heard Charlie starting to speak. Charlie had reeled in her line and placed her rod in the holder along the side. She was standing facing the boat full of men when Decky realized what was happening.
“Decky here told me that there were lots of different kinds of people around these parts, different from what I grew up with in Oklahoma. I’ll be glad when I meet them, because from where I stand, you have exactly the same beer bellied, redneck assholes we have at home. Been there done that, so if you’ll excuse us, we’ll be leaving now.”
Decky took her cue and floored the boat, as much as she could in the shallow cove. She looked back to see all of the men with the exact look Charlie had described. They were stunned. Charlie grinned back at Decky.
“See, I told you so.”
#
That night Decky and Charlie decided to go down to Hatteras Island, after Charlie got off work Thursday afternoon. She would not have class on Friday, because summer classes met only two days a week. Being out of the county seemed like a good idea to both of them.
Decky had a cottage at Rodanthe, which she kept for her and Zack, so they could go to the beach whenever they liked. She never rented it, because she never knew when she would get the urge to go walk in the sand or surf fish.
Into the night, Decky entertained Charlie with tails of the Outer Banks. Decky wanted to show Charlie everything. She knew it was impossible in one three-day weekend, but she would take her down to see the Cape Hatteras Lighthouse. They would leave early Friday morning, see the lighthouse in Buxton, and then drive down to Hatteras Village to catch the ferry to Ocracoke.
The Cape Hatteras Lighthouse had a special place in Decky’s heart. She had climbed it enumerable times as a child, flying kites off the top on a fishing rod and other unrestricted activities. Now that the light had been moved, because of the dwindling shoreline, you couldn’t just run around in it like a wild child. Built in 1870, it is still the tallest lighthouse in the nation, standing watch over the Graveyard of the Atlantic, as this treacherous area of the ocean is known. Sharing this icon with Charlie would delight Decky.
Decky explained how Edward Teach, better known as the famous pirate Blackbeard, had his head chopped off just outside the harbor at Ocracoke. Legend says his body swam around the boat three times looking for his head then sank to the bottom.
Decky talked about the civil war, how her ancestors had come all the way from Raleigh to fight in a battle on Roanoke Island, only to be taken prisoner as they stepped on the shore. How they had then been held in Elizabeth City, until pardoned. Decky talked about blockade running through the dangerous shoals. She told Charlie how the locals had surrendered without much of a fight on Hatteras Island, allowing the damn Yankees to occupy both forts that guarded the valuable Hatteras Inlet.
Charlie was enthralled. Decky showed her pictures in books and lectured on coastal history from the 1500’s through World War II, when the Germans came ashore as spies or ship wrecked submariners. One group of spies had lived right there in Buxton, unnoticed by the locals. Decky would show Charlie all the German memorabilia at the Lighthouse museum. There was also the new museum down in Hatteras Village where you caught the ferry.
Decky was so excited, Charlie didn’t interrupt her except to have her expound on a particular fact or place. It wasn’t until Charlie yawned, that Decky looked at the clock. She had been talking since they sat down after supper and it was now 10 o’clock.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t realize it was so late. I do this when I write, too. I will write for eighteen hours nonstop take a nap and go again. I have a tendency to tell you everything I know about a place. I find history irresistible.”
“I am fascinated. Oklahoma is only 100 years old this fall. Our history goes back to the ice ages, but we didn’t really participate in the civil war and certainly not the revolution. It’s all very exciting and I want to see all of it, but I am tired from the sun and I just can’t let you get started again.” Charlie teased Decky. “You forget I know how obsessed you can be over something you find irresistible, and I have a job to go to, while you may sleep-in if you like.”
Decky feigned hurt. “I have a job. I just have a bit of a different schedule than most people.”
Charlie quipped as she started up the stairs, “One of us has to appear normal so
we can keep your mother from sending you to the crazy farm, and there’s no chance in hell it’s going to be you.”
Charlie ran, because Decky was no longer on crutches.
Chapter Ten
Charlie was rested enough to wake Decky early. They showered together and generally played grab ass for part of the morning. They played like newlyweds, engrossed in each other’s hopes and dreams. They read the Wednesday paper, not talking, but occasionally touching the other. Charlie finally got dressed for work and left Decky feeling as though this was the way life should be, the way life would be with Charlie by her side.
Caught up in the glow of life with Charlie, Decky set about cleaning house. She hated to clean house. It was never going to be clean enough for Lizzie, so why try, but she liked her house to be clean. It looked so nice that way. She usually had her mom send one of the girls from the motel over to help her. Most of the girls lived on this side of the beach and did not work every day at the motel. They liked the money Decky paid and Decky liked the company. It made work so much easier and not to mention faster.
Out on the Sound Page 21
